Help me think logically

[blondemoment123]

Rambling thoughts ahead.
I have the opportunity to go to a work conference out of state this Spring. It would be a great career move and I'd benefit from the content.

H is finally stepping down from his role that requires travel so he and my mom would be able to take care of DS (5).

BUT. I've never left DS overnight before and I get panicky just thinking about it. He's VERY clingy and doesn't do well without me, so leaving for several days with minimal contact has me in a tailspin.

I need to commit either way this week. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, reassurance? Anyway, help me think through this please.

[konapoppy]

It would be good for you and him to have some space!

[konapoppy]

Plus, you get a hotel room alllll to yourself. It will be glorious.

He will be well cared for at home.

[fivechickens]

I have a clingy child too so can relate.

You both can do this!

Just remember that this is a very small period of his life that he will likely not remember. And a small sacrifice for you that you and your family will benefit from.

Make sure he is kept busy and he has a picture of you that he can look at whenever he is missing you.

YOU GOT THIS!

[devonpow]

You will be ok! The trip is good for you in terms of career, and will be good for you and the rest of the family as a growing experience. He’s being left with his other parent - it’s a perfect situation. Say yes, don’t worry, all will be good!

[rosiebear]

You will both benefit! He is well loved and cared for, so no worries there, and honestly it will be good for he and Dad to have each other all to themselves for a few days.

[ssmjlm]

Go

It will be beneficial for both of you.

[gretchenindisguise]

I also think this will benefit you both. I have two clingy kids and the time I've been able to step away helps us all. And my H, because he gets to bond with the clingy kid in a way he isn't able to if I'm around.

[meanie]

Go! You know he will be fine, and so will you.

I have found that this gets easier the more you do it. The hardest part for me is leaving the house, but once I am on my way I am ok.

[7costanza]

Go to the conference! It will be good for you, your DS and your H! I always get a little nervous when I (rarely) travel for work too, but it always goes just fine and gets a bit easier each time.

[blondemoment123]

Also, I've never flown alone before. The last flight I took was 2019 with my mom and DS. Any tips?

[wildrice]

It's ok if you miss each other! It's good to have that space and both of you will grow from it.

Flying alone is easy! I can't think of anything I do differently alone, other than having the freedom to eat wherever I want and not having to worry about whether we will have seats together. So I almost prefer it!

[rosiebear]

Feb 12, 2023 10:47:29 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

Also, I've never flown alone before. The last flight I took was 2019 with my mom and DS. Any tips?

I’m a “get there early” person and I enjoy a drink in the lounge and a browse through the stores near my gate while I wait. Enjoy not having to keep track of and tend to anyone else’s needs!

[TR]

Feb 12, 2023 10:47:29 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

Also, I've never flown alone before. The last flight I took was 2019 with my mom and DS. Any tips?

The only thing that’s worse about flying alone is having to take all of my stuff to the bathroom with me. If you’re nervous about knowing where to go, etc, the airport you’re flying into should have a map you can look at ahead of time. And if I’m remembering your location correctly, your local(ish) airport is pretty small and very easy to get around.

[tacokick]

The only thing different about flying alone is that I make sure I have more things to read or listen to than I would when I travel with other people since there is no expectation that I would be socializing with anyone.

You can do this! Try and enjoy the alone time and I’m sure everything will be fine at home.

[beerlover]

Just adding to the chorus of "go!" It will be good for everyone and awesome for you to get some alone time.

[atarianna]

Leaving for the first time was hard, but did so so much for my personal self worth and my career. I would go in a heartbeat.

[heygrey]

Go. He has two loving adults to care for him. Even if he struggles a bit, it's fine. You deserve to have space to yourself and an opportunity to advance your career.

[bears]

So much good has happened when MH and I travelled for business and the other one solo parented.

Two highlights:
-When DD was 13 months old, I went on my first business trip as a mom. She regularly woke up in the middle of the night and just started sleeping through the night while I was gone. The change was permanent.
-When the kids were 5 and 7, I was alone with the kids. By the time MH came home, the kids were making their own lunches for school.
-Now that my kids are a little older, they are taking on a little more responsibility when MH is travelling. We have talked about what they can do to step up and help. Some of it is basic, like taking care of yourself, doing things without reminders. However, DD has also stepped up majorly in some ways, like walking the dog in the mornings so I can get in a workout.

My kids have always coped pretty well and so has MH. The one exception was when the kids were 2 and 4 and I went to Asia for 2 weeks and there was a massive snowstorm. Daycare was closed for a week and they were housebound during that time. It was tough on MH, but even with those hiccups, everyone was fine!

MH is heading home from a business trip right now and I had so much fun with my kids while he was gone. We just relate to each other a little differently when it's just the three of us.

[dochas]

Feb 12, 2023 10:20:45 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

Rambling thoughts ahead.
I have the opportunity to go to a work conference out of state this Spring. It would be a great career move and I'd benefit from the content.

H is finally stepping down from his role that requires travel so he and my mom would be able to take care of DS (5).

BUT. I've never left DS overnight before and I get panicky just thinking about it. He's VERY clingy and doesn't do well without me, so leaving for several days with minimal contact has me in a tailspin.

I need to commit either way this week. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, reassurance? Anyway, help me think through this please.

Your husband will figure it out.

[aspentosh]

As others have said, you'll both benefit! Actually, all of you, because if H isn't the preferred parent I'm sure he'll appreciate the bonding time.

Not the same but H and I regularly leave DD (11y now) and have since she was young. I am the preferred parent so I make sure to leave them alone some days so they can bond and I always notice a huge difference in their relationship afterwards.

[blondemoment123]

Feb 12, 2023 10:54:57 GMT -5 TR said:

Feb 12, 2023 10:47:29 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

Also, I've never flown alone before. The last flight I took was 2019 with my mom and DS. Any tips?

The only thing that’s worse about flying alone is having to take all of my stuff to the bathroom with me. If you’re nervous about knowing where to go, etc, the airport you’re flying into should have a map you can look at ahead of time. And if I’m remembering your location correctly, your local(ish) airport is pretty small and very easy to get around.

Yeah I can either fly out of CHS or SAV. I haven't looked into flights yet.

[macmars45]

Go. It'll be good for you & your DS. Enjoy the kid free time.

I hate flying alone. When I've done it I give myself plenty of extra time in case I get lost or getting through security takes an extra long time. I bring lots of reading material for myself.

[thebreakfastclub]

I recently flew to Australia alone. Besides having to take all your stuff with you everywhere, it's fine. I kind of prefer not having to worry about anyone but myself. Be sure to have a phone charger.

[heygrey]

Feb 12, 2023 10:47:29 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

Also, I've never flown alone before. The last flight I took was 2019 with my mom and DS. Any tips?

Flying alone is the best! I've only done it a couple times because I'm almost always flying with DS to visit family. 

I get there early enough to find my gate and then get a treat nearby. Not managing anyone, but myself is amazing. 

[blondemoment123]

Thank you all! I knew I could rely on this group to help me think straight without emotion involved. I'll tell my boss tomorrow that I'm in *Hyperventilates*

Anyone familiar with San Antonio? I don't think I'll have much free time, but if I do I'd like to explore a little.

[bears]

blondemoment123 when travelling alone, I try to maximize packing for comfort in the airport.

For a five day trip, I would pack a rollerboard, my laptop backpack, and a purse that has the essentials (wallet, phone, and kindle) and that can fit inside of the backpack for boarding. The backpack needs to either have a sleeve that can go over the luggage handle or I use this: a.co/d/3er1LGQ. This makes things so much easier for navigating through the airport and using the bathroom when you're travelling alone.

If you're using a rollerboard that needs to go in the overhead compartment, there is a good chance it will need to be checked. Make sure that you have at least a change of clothes and any medications in your laptop bag (what you have doesn't need to be perfect, but just needs to help against the worst case scenario).

[redheadk]

San Antonio is a great city! Plenty to do but also pretty small. Two areas to explore are the Pearl and the Riverwalk.

This will be a great chance for your DS and DH to bond while you get some time to yourself

[blondemoment123]

I messaged my boss now commiting so I couldn't back out overnight 😬

[devonpow]

Flying alone is amazing. You can read and watch movies in peace without having to get snacks for anyone or talk to anyone lol. These days the airlines all have apps that quickly notify you of any delays or gate changes etc. You don’t need paper tickets. Pack just a carry on and you get to the airport and go straight to security with your boarding pass on your phone and it’s easy peasy