Something you wish was normalized…

[penguingrrl]

Feb 25, 2023 15:25:00 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

Feb 25, 2023 14:40:27 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Me too! I’ve never been to a dry shower, that sounds awful!

The first shower I attended with alcohol was last summer for my cousin's wife.

My friend group and most of my extended family members don't really drink alcohol. *shrug*

Ah, I guess everyone is different! My circle tends to drink at many/most events. I’ll admit I hate showers usually, so a glass of wine makes it okay. They’re much better when they’re just a party and I can ignore the present opening and not play the games.

[killercupcake]

Feb 24, 2023 23:34:45 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Feb 24, 2023 17:54:27 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Working hard doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your family or life outside work.

We should not be expected to work all day and night in order to be considered “hard working”.

Trade schools in high school should also be a thing.

I feel kind of dumb even asking this, but do all high schools not have a vo-tech option?

I guess I never thought that hard about it, but I always assumed it was universally an option. My mind is a little blown here.

100% agree with your first point also. I left my previous career because of the unrealistic expectations on my time. And actually just had a mentorship call with someone in their 20s this week, and tried to tactfully encourage her not to stay in her current (notoriously all-consuming) career and look for fields with better balance instead.

We have some high schools with vo tech magnet programs; students have to apply and get in via lottery. Most schools have CTE (career technical education) programs that are two/three years, but they vary a lot. It really depends on whether or not they can find the staff. My school has several CTE options like woodshop, video production, business, cybersecurity (we’re phasing that one out though), fashion design, and biomedical (that will be new next year if we can find a teacher).

[maudefindlay]

One of my closest friends always tells the first bday party she went to for her now H's family. It was for a niece turning 5. My friend was holding someone's toddler on her lap and feeding her the Barbie bday cake. She was down to the last layer and the girl started spitting it out.....apparently that was the vodka layer. Polish family and cake was from a Polish bakery. I've met these relatives and from the kids to the ones in their 80s they know how to party!

[litskispeciality]

Feb 25, 2023 14:05:35 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

Feb 25, 2023 13:32:59 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Mimosa’s/bubbly at baby showers!

Booze at children's birthday parties 

I made a special stop for hard lemonade drinks for our niblings bday party. Most of the adults didn't drink, but we did one group shot. Usually DH and I feel like jerks for not bringing alcohol and drink whatever the host has/offers.

[al dente]

I wish giving used stuff was an acceptable gift. Especially kids things like all the million plastic toys. They're basically the same used, just without the repeat of all the packaging.

Brought to you by going to target for the millionth birthday party this month, and then to a consignment shop where I saw much of the same stuff. The waste of kids stuff kills me.

[tacokick]

Feb 25, 2023 9:30:51 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

Feb 25, 2023 9:11:39 GMT -5 sadie said:

A parent (!) was complaining about a teacher with young kids doing this last year. You'd think parents would empathize. Omg.

When I taught, I was criticized by parents for being out a few days when my FIL died - spending his last day or two with him in hospice (out of town by 3 hours, mind you) and then attending his funeral. People can just be very cruel. 

Teaching is the worst with this! My husband was teaching when his grandfather died and the principal bullied him into not taking any time off so he missed the funeral. Teachers are not supposed to take any time off at all 🙄

[Nonny]

On the flip side of having booze at parties, stop asking people why they aren't drinking and/or pushing alcohol on people and don't speculate about it either.

Not every woman who isn't drinking is pregnant.

Maybe you are only serving beer and I just hate beer. Maybe I don't want the calories because I want to binge on nachos. Maybe I don't want to explain that I'm on a strong antibiotic for an infection that is none of your business. There are a thousand and one reasons from recovery to watching my budget to just feeling tired around why someone might not want alcohol now, or ever.

[tacokick]

Along the vo tech lines—these classes shouldn’t be segregated into a magnet school. My high school had AP classes and vo tech and that was really rare even then. Normally you have to pick one or the other.

I’m pretty anti magnet schools (and charter!) in general though.

[joy]

Feb 25, 2023 17:54:21 GMT -5 Nonny said:

On the flip side of having booze at parties, stop asking people why they aren't drinking and/or pushing alcohol on people and don't speculate about it either.

Not every woman who isn't drinking is pregnant.

Maybe you are only serving beer and I just hate beer. Maybe I don't want the calories because I want to binge on nachos. Maybe I don't want to explain that I'm on a strong antibiotic for an infection that is none of your business. There are a thousand and one reasons from recovery to watching my budget to just feeling tired around why someone might not want alcohol now, or ever.

YES. I can’t drink because of migraines. I always have to explain or justify. Sometimes it’s even saying “yes, the headaches are that bad.” Mix in “no, I’m not pregnant” and “yes, I agree. It really sucks!”

I wish I did not feel so out of place at a bar. Or that so much social stuff happened at bars.

I would love it if more bars embraced non-alcoholic fun drinks!

[hannahgruen]

Women's clothes. Men's clothes are usually the same size from one pair of pants/shirts to the other. Women's sizes are all over the place, a size 10 in one pair of pants most likely won't be the same in another pair.

Also pockets. Because we need pockets.

[cherry1111]

Not having aspirations to climb the ladder at work.

If I’m content as an individual contributor just leave me be!

[bdubs419]

Feb 25, 2023 20:05:51 GMT -5 cherry1111 said:

Not having aspirations to climb the ladder at work.

If I’m content as an individual contributor just leave me be!

As a manager who often wishes she was at a lower level, I can appreciate this 100%. Managing sucks. Also, it’s SO important to have people who are content with this. If everyone wants to be promoted, it just doesn’t work.

[Deleted]

Feb 25, 2023 17:54:21 GMT -5 Nonny said:

On the flip side of having booze at parties, stop asking people why they aren't drinking and/or pushing alcohol on people and don't speculate about it either.

Not every woman who isn't drinking is pregnant.

Maybe you are only serving beer and I just hate beer. Maybe I don't want the calories because I want to binge on nachos. Maybe I don't want to explain that I'm on a strong antibiotic for an infection that is none of your business. There are a thousand and one reasons from recovery to watching my budget to just feeling tired around why someone might not want alcohol now, or ever.

Or even just “I don’t really like alcohol that much” or “I just don’t feel like drinking tonight.” It’s none of anyone’s damn business why I don’t want to drink.

[cville]

Feb 25, 2023 18:40:41 GMT -5 tacokick said:

Along the vo tech lines—these classes shouldn’t be segregated into a magnet school. My high school had AP classes and vo tech and that was really rare even then. Normally you have to pick one or the other.

I’m pretty anti magnet schools (and charter!) in general though.

Mine too. I took autoshop and typing (each was a half year) the same year as I took 2 or 3 AP classes

[rupertpenny]

Feb 25, 2023 14:42:33 GMT -5 okla said:

On the booze theme… I’d like to see more mocktails and other NA options at bars.

Honestly, this too. I wish it was possible to get a decent NA beer in any bar or restaurant in the US the same way it is in Germany. 

[sonrisa]

I have to say, bartenders are usually much more supportive of not drinking than the average person. I just say the words "designated driver" (more as a code word than a literal description) if I'm not drinking and they usually come up with something fun and never question it.

[mrsukyankee]

Feb 25, 2023 20:05:51 GMT -5 cherry1111 said:

Not having aspirations to climb the ladder at work.

If I’m content as an individual contributor just leave me be!

YES! This is me. My boss tried to convince me to work full year at the uni so he could promote me. No thanks. I like working term time only and don't want to be anything other than a counsellor. I'm good.

[cjcouple]

Feb 25, 2023 11:37:28 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Long way of saying, we are not seeing a decline in trade education here-- if anything there is a surge in interest and perception of the program is much more positive now than it was when I was in high school.

Tech schools are very popular here. I posted last week how my son applied. He got in (yay) but we may not send him there.

I'm now hearing some concerning things about the particular school. ugh

[Jalapeñomel]

In case you’re interested in the research on the vocational education:

www.educationworld.com/what-happened-vocational-education-and-why-we-need-it-back

www.educationnext.org/depth-over-breadth-value-vocational-education-u-s-high-schools/

hechingerreport.org/how-career-and-technical-education-shuts-out-black-and-latino-students-from-high-paying-professions/

www.americanprogress.org/article/advancing-racial-equity-career-technical-education-enrollment/

[UMaineTeach]

Feb 25, 2023 20:21:22 GMT -5 bdubs419 said:

Feb 25, 2023 20:05:51 GMT -5 cherry1111 said:

Not having aspirations to climb the ladder at work.

If I’m content as an individual contributor just leave me be!

As a manager who often wishes she was at a lower level, I can appreciate this 100%. Managing sucks. Also, it’s SO important to have people who are content with this. If everyone wants to be promoted, it just doesn’t work.

My husband feels this way. He likes being an engineer. He doesn’t want to be a project manager. Every year at evaluation time they try to convince him that PM is the next step for him.

He probably has the skills, but no desire for that role.

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2023 7:35:57 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

Feb 25, 2023 20:21:22 GMT -5 bdubs419 said:

As a manager who often wishes she was at a lower level, I can appreciate this 100%. Managing sucks. Also, it’s SO important to have people who are content with this. If everyone wants to be promoted, it just doesn’t work.

My husband feels this way. He likes being an engineer. He doesn’t want to be a project manager. Every year at evaluation time they try to convince him that PM is the next step for him.

He probably has the skills, but no desire for that role.

This why I’m getting out of the military. They have a VERY pervasive “up or out” mentality. On one hand, I appreciate that deliberate development goes into each person, and our organization relies heavily on making technical experts who move into leadership roles and supervisory positions. We CAN’T hire outside our organization, so we have to promote from within. And even if i end up in a job I like, I have to mover every three years anyway….(This is for active duty only, Guard works a bit differently).

[icedcoffee]

I would love to see more technical real life classes in school grades 12 and under. I took and accounting class in high school and now I’m a CPA!! Not everyone wants to take art or Spanish as their electives. Offer real life classes-accounting, woodshop, auto mechanics, etc.

I went onto a co-op school for college because I knew I just wanted to learn for life not to learn for learning. Actually—that was the essay that got me into said school. Lol

[bee20]

Feb 26, 2023 8:02:34 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

I would love to see more technical real life classes in school grades 12 and under. I took and accounting class in high school and now I’m a CPA!! Not everyone wants to take art or Spanish as their electives. Offer real life classes-accounting, woodshop, auto mechanics, etc.

I went onto a co-op school for college because I knew I just wanted to learn for life not to learn for learning. Actually—that was the essay that got me into said school. Lol

Yes!  I got good grades but really didn't care, I loved my internships and more practical classes. 

[ECB]

Feb 25, 2023 20:05:51 GMT -5 cherry1111 said:

Not having aspirations to climb the ladder at work.

If I’m content as an individual contributor just leave me be!

yup!! I manage a very small dept - I don’t want to manage more! I don’t like it. Individual contributor is great by me!!

[abs]

Feb 26, 2023 8:02:34 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

I would love to see more technical real life classes in school grades 12 and under. I took and accounting class in high school and now I’m a CPA!! Not everyone wants to take art or Spanish as their electives. Offer real life classes-accounting, woodshop, auto mechanics, etc.

I went onto a co-op school for college because I knew I just wanted to learn for life not to learn for learning. Actually—that was the essay that got me into said school. Lol

I wish foreign language was handled differently.  Making kids take two years of it in junior high or high school really does nothing.  Either kids need to need to start learning it at a young age like in other countries or they need to have the option to not take it at all.  

Our district does offer all these fun electives and pathways but by the time you schedule the must do's for graduation there isn't time to take them.  Like DD would love to take a cooking class next year but because she has to do foreign language and PE she can't.  

[sent]

Feb 25, 2023 18:40:41 GMT -5 tacokick said:

Along the vo tech lines—these classes shouldn’t be segregated into a magnet school. My high school had AP classes and vo tech and that was really rare even then. Normally you have to pick one or the other.

I’m pretty anti magnet schools (and charter!) in general though.

The one school nearby that has vo tech sounding offerings is really just a magnet school. They brag about their college acceptances and AP classes like any other school. If the kids get in, it’s the school where parents send them to avoid paying for private school. Otherwise it’s just siphoning off the other smart kids from the lackluster districts in the area.

[jlt19]

Feb 25, 2023 9:07:50 GMT -5 sadie said:

Mid-day siesta

I'm lucky (?) that I sometimes get to do this if I have later meetings with our Asian Pacific region. I'm an early riser, so start to work around 6/7am CST some days. If I know I'm having a 6/7/8pm meeting, I'll log off or leave the office around 1 or 2pm. I'm sure I get some eyerolls but they're either from people who have no clue I have late meetings and/or have no clue I showed up 3 hours before them. Mind ya business!

ETA all the other stuff being talked about:

Vo-Tec: I KNOW Unions are problematic, I'm not pushing that. But, living/working in a big Union area, that is really the only way to learn a trade, while working, without shelling out 10's of thousands at a Ranken type school. The Union Trade Schools are paid for by the dues of the working members. It's the only sustainable way to do it, because the government sure as shit isn't.

NA drinks: It's becoming pretty popular in the St. Louis area. We even have a few mocktail bars opening up. I had brunch a few weekends ago with friends and one was pregnant, while the other was doing dry January. They had prettier, tastier drinks than my mimosa!

Not drinking: I do agree that people shouldn't question you when you say no thank you. We're down to one income and one of the (many) things we decided to cut was concession stand food/drinks at kids' tournaments (yes, this includes beer here). I really don't need to explain to another parent why we aren't drinking b/c all it'll do is make YOU look like an asshole. 

[Jalapeñomel]

Men who are short.

Again, stop commenting on people’s bodies. I have no idea why there’s a stigma around short men, as if there’s something wrong with being short.

[litskispeciality]

Def the not having to justify not drinking, and stop ASSuming and saying "oh yeah you're pregnant" over and over again.


People with or without kids who have a weekend, part of a weekend off, even lots of lighter weekends, don't have more free time. Maybe they work their tail off all week to clean, shop, etc. To enjoy that time off. Maybe they have a small family, or have grown out of the birthday party stage. Just because you over extended yourself and your family members doesn't mean you have to be that 'busy'


Not having to plan out PTO soooo far in advance. DH's job changed the policy and now we have few time off options for the whole rest of the year. He hasn't taken a day yet. My work too, everyone's getting approved for summer PTO during blackout dates (except me) and feels they dog eared holiday/Dec, I can't get a couple of days in April reviewed because my boss is busy and burnt out. Plus I keep having to change my request and hope DH can go because everyone has booked way out. I'm supposed to work around the approved requests and talk to my team (yeah it's that easy), but they just put in then tell me. Same at DH's work.

[litskispeciality]

Feb 26, 2023 16:53:20 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Men who are short.

Again, stop commenting on people’s bodies. I have no idea why there’s a stigma around short men, as if there’s something wrong with being short.

And couples of the same height, or a taller female (presenting) partner.

Add to that tall women being normal and not getting comments about their height if they're not a model.