I am really going through it right now.

[chilerellanos]

I dated my bf for 18 months.

He broke up with me like 4 weeks ago, really out of the blue, and with no explanation. And then blocked me.

I’ve been in therapy trying to deal with that.

And yesterday, I stepped into an absolute hornets nest of information on him, and you guys, I’m so sick to my stomach.

Someone contacted me about him saying that he’s been talking to her friend and she’s suspicious, because she thinks maybe he’s not telling her the truth. I guess he got posted yesterday on one of those “are we dating the same guy?” Groups. So I went in and said here’s my number if anybody wants to text me about it.

Jesus you guys. It’s bananas. I feel like I’m in some horror movie.

That girl texted me, and said she met him in April, and they slept together (I was out of town that week). She said she got the vibe he wasn’t single, so she stopped talking to him. He contacted her in July (during the week we briefly broke up). We got back together, and so he stopped texting her, then started text her again the week he broke up with me. She’s sick to her stomach and going to block and run.

Another woman (we will call her Macie) called me and said she dated him from March until June (I was traveling a lot April-august, and he travels a lot also) and found out he had a GF he’s been dating for over a year. She didn’t know my name though. There was another women, because she caught them together. Macie broke up with him and he blocked the other woman for awhile (we will call her Rebecca).

Well, he found out he has chlamydia, in June. He called both of those women, and told them to get tested and treated. He did not inform me.

Anyway, we break up briefly at the beginning of July and get back together after a week. At some point he began talking to Rebecca again, and I guess they start their thing back up. He decided to take her to Ohio to go skydiving (I knew he was going to Ohio to go skydiving. I just didn’t know a woman was going along!).

I was at his house the night before he left. And honestly, everything was super normal. I NEVER HAD ANY IDEA ANYTHING WAS WEIRD! He comes back from Ohio. And I guess she started posting a bunch of stuff on IG and FB.

So…. He blocked me on everything. And then told me that he just doesn’t have time for a relationship right now to give me what I need.

So, I find ALLLLLLLL of this out yesterday.

Including that I very likely have chlamydia. I called my best friend and she called me in an antibiotic. I’ll get some further testing after my antibiotics.

I’ve obviously been blocked so can’t say anything to him. And honestly, what’s the point.

Macie texted him and told him that she talked to me and let him know what’s going down and that I know everything and that he’s getting eviscerated on the internet and his gig is up.

She tried to call and text her to “explain his side of the story.” She’s like, I don’t want to hear it.

He wasn’t very happy I found out. Because I think he was going to unblock me when things settled down, come back, apologize, say he was wrong and he needed space and get things going again with me.

We really did struggle with our relationship from like May-June, and it ultimately led to us breaking up early July. We kept blaming it on time, and travel (there wasn’t very much time, and too much travel between us). But actually it’s because he was banging half the state!

I am sure there’s probably more girls that he just slept with but didn’t draw them in for a relationship.

I’m obviously already in therapy, and have talked to her already.

Everybody is shocked. Me. My friends. My kids. He is like, the most warm, charming, sweetest guy.

[chilerellanos]

I am really pissed I found out all this info, for obvious reasons.

But I was also, like…. Moving on from the pain and confusion of basically just being ghosted and blocked for no reason, and was like, fine, I’ll give him the breakup he wants.

And now, I feel like I’m starting all over.

But from the bottom of a the ocean.

[chilerellanos]

Also, if anybody lives near Middleton Ohio or Cincinnati, he goes there frequently for skydiving stuff. So, if you have any single friends…. Tell them to definitely avoid any skydivers named Mike.

I’m sure he has women there.

[deadwing]

Damn. That's a lot. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You deserve better.

[circa1978]

Oh, what a jackass. I am so sorry and so thankful you found out about the possible health risk, though I will hope for you by some chance that your test is negative. He totally and completely deserves everything that comes to him.

[ssmjlm]

First, hugs and a strong drink. Second, I just want to offer you strength. You did the right things, even if he ended up being a total asshole.

I am so sorry. I'm sure it feels like as soon as you're "ok" another bit of information comes.

Do you have a support system locally? Or someone who can be on call for you? Like I just need to vent and cry friend?

[lilypad1126]

Holy crap! That's a lot to take in. I'm sorry you having to deal with this. He's such a jackass and I hope he gets the karma he deserves.

[kimmyo73]

OMG - dating is a shitshow. Sorry this happened to you. I think you are in the Indiana area...me too if you want to commiserate in person at some point.

[fortnightlily]

Oh man, I'm really sorry.

[blondemoment123]

Wow. I'm sorry you're struggling ❤️

[rubytue]

Oh wow. I can’t even imagine. Good riddance! You deserve better.

[scm1011]

Damn, that's a lot. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I hope he's shitting his pants right now knowing that his secrets are out.

[gretchenindisguise]

What an absolute asswipe.

I am sorry he did that to you, but I am really glad you learned the truth. He doesn’t deserve you and now you won’t be tricked into hsi games since you know the truth.

You will heal. Therapy will be good. You will make it back to the top from the bottom you’re currently feeling.

Fuck him.

[chilerellanos]

Sept 18, 2023 14:56:27 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

Oh, what a jackass. I am so sorry and so thankful you found out about the possible health risk, though I will hope for you by some chance that your test is negative. He totally and completely deserves everything that comes to him.

I called my friend yesterday and said, let’s just presume I’m positive. Can you call me in something?”

And she did.

I have it. I’ve been feeling weird down there. But had zero reason to think it was chlamydia. 24 hours of antibiotics and it already feels better.

As soon as Macie told me that he gave them chlamydia, I was like…. OH. That’s what’s wrong with me.

[chilerellanos]

Sept 18, 2023 14:58:22 GMT -5 kimmyo73 said:

OMG - dating is a shitshow. Sorry this happened to you. I think you are in the Indiana area...me too if you want to commiserate in person at some point.

Nebraska! The good news is I’ve met a few new friends and we are in the most fucked up girl gang that ever existed. 🫠🫠🫠

[Yankees21]

I’m so sorry. What a shitty thing to find out. I hope knowing he’s not who you thought, while terrible, helps a little bit as you try to heal…but what a mindfuck.

[sequins]

Ah man. You deserve better. What a dickhead.

[chilerellanos]

Sept 18, 2023 15:03:47 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

I’m so sorry. What a shitty thing to find out. I hope knowing he’s not who you thought, while terrible, helps a little bit as you try to heal…but what a mindfuck.

One of his kids’ friends’ mom messaged me, and was like…. What exactly is going on? Do I want to know? I was like, you most likely don’t. But if you want to know, I’ll tell you.

And she was like, I’m going to be sick. I’ve always really respected him, and trusted him, and really looked up to him. And she was like, I don’t understand it. He seemed REALLY into you.

She was like, I’m on your side, but I want to leave the kids out of it.

Well, obviously. I’m not out to ruin his kids’ life. It’s not their fault their dad is disgusting.

[icedcoffee]

Oh dear. That is a lot. But you're strong and fab and you will get through this. Sending you good vibes. <3

[Patsy Baloney]

Damn, wish you had dodged more of this bullet, but I’m glad you only got winged and can take care of your health.

Everyone’s processing is different, but have you considered giving yourself a little bit of time and putting a moratorium on being the place where people go for info about this piece of trash’s activities? You deserve peace.

[devonpow]

Ugh that is so shitty. I’m really sorry - it really sucks that some assholes out there can make it so hard to trust people in general

[bex1973]

((( chilerellanos ))) I'm sorry. What an asshole!!!

[Saudade]

Holy shit I’m so sorry. What a piece of trash. I’m glad you’re out but I am so so sorry you have to now deal with this

[chilerellanos]

Sept 18, 2023 15:10:32 GMT -5 devonpow said:

Ugh that is so shitty. I’m really sorry - it really sucks that some assholes out there can make it so hard to trust people in general

I fact checked EVERYTHING that came out of his mouth for months and months because I just don’t really trust that easily anyway.

And it was always true.

At some point it stopped being true, clearly.

[ohgillian]

I’m really sorry. You deserve better and it’s not your fault you didn’t see this happening.

[Deleted]

Wow, he's such a POS. That's a lot to deal with and process. I'm glad you're in therapy and have someone to talk to and help you through it.

[wildrice]

OMG WTF. I am so sorry! I am really glad you had already broken up when you found this out - but that's barely a consolation. Some people are just so unbelievably shitty.

[livinitup]

What a piece of shit.

It’s hard to land in the most shitty thing this shit did. Not informing you of a totally treatable STD? The constant and sustained lying for 18 months? Ghosting you and leaving you thinking you had a part in this breakup - not that he is a complete and totally selfish piece of shit?

His depravity in both depth and scope is astonishing.

Knowing is better than not knowing.

[mofongo]

Oh God, I’m sorry:( It’s so hard to understand how people can be like this.

[chilerellanos]

Sept 18, 2023 15:19:07 GMT -5 livinitup said:

What a piece of shit.

It’s hard to land in the most shitty thing this shit did. Not informing you of a totally treatable STD? The constant and sustained lying for 18 months? Ghosting you and leaving you thinking you had a part in this breakup - not that he is a complete and totally selfish piece of shit?

His depravity in both depth and scope is astonishing.

Knowing is better than not knowing.

When he ghosted and blocked me, I remember telling my therapist, this sounds so dumb, but I almost wish he cheated on me or something.

I’m just confused and it came out of nowhere.

Haha. Jokes on me!