A couple years ago we went to a resort in the DR. There was an adults side and H and I wanted to try one of the restaurants. We left DS in the room, who was 12 at the time, and told him to keep the door deadbolted, not open the door or balcony door for any reason (except like a fire inside the room, LOL). I was a nervous wreck the whole time. Even though at home he would stay home alone often at that age.
I can also be breezy about certain things, but I would not feel comfortable leaving a toddler alone in a situation like that. Even if you have your kid's sleep schedule/routine down pat and they "never" wake up after being put down, there is always the chance they could and especially if they are sleeping in a different place.
Yes, and if they wake up they will be disoriented AF.
My cousin was staying in a hotel once with his three year old and he forgot to close the deadbolt. So, the toddler woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up in the wandering the hall.
Luckily, the night desk person recognized her, remembered the room she was in, and knocked on the door to wake up my cousin. They were so lucky nothing bad happened!
Almost 3yos are some of the most mischievous creatures on the planet- there is no way. I even slept at home with one eye open when I had kids that age, that seems to be the prime age to wander out the door and end up in a pool/lake/river/ocean/alligator.
This is one of the few parenting things I can confidently say I have never and would never do. Even now that my kids are 12 and 7. Way too many variables. Also, my dad and both brothers are firefighters, I have a very healthy fear of night-time fires. By the time you see flames on a monitor from the downstairs restaurant, you are way too late.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by dancingnancy on Mar 8, 2024 14:33:44 GMT -5
I have only ever heard of one couple I knew that did this. They tipped the front desk person to hold the baby monitor while they ate in the hotel restaurant. I was appalled. DD was 14 the first time I left her alone - I let her sleep in while I went to the lobby for Starbucks. There are just so many things that could go wrong.
No, we had a thread on this when that guy passed away at the restaurant and then it came out that they had left their kids at a nearby hotel. It was messy.
Post by emilyinchile on Mar 8, 2024 14:43:47 GMT -5
I'm the yes, once. It was a small hotel, L was about 1 with no way of getting out of his pack n play, it would have taken us about the same amount of time to run up the stairs from the lobby to the room as we normally took at home waiting to see if he'd settle alone before going in, we were watching the video monitor where we would have heard if the door opened (tested it beforehand), our room was at the dead-end of the hall, and we would have been up the stairs by the time anyone was coming out of the room toward their only exit.
I genuinely don't think it was a real risk in that specific situation, but I can also recognize that due to a bunch of things that had gone on in the lead up to that time the sense of needing 30 minutes (literally how long we took) of feeling like we could do something for ourselves was stronger than usual and tipped the scales in that direction. If we were in the same hotel today we'd probably just sit in the hallway.
ETA: I regularly have anxiety-driven irrational fears about my kid, which is why I really think it was the other stuff going on that pushed me off the ledge a bit. I also don't go downstairs in my own apartment building when I'm home alone with L, so it makes no sense, but for whatever reason I decided to be honest that I did do this!
Oh wow, I don't consider myself a particularly anxious parent, but this is way beyond what I would consider! I'm surprised at how many people you know who have so casually mentioned it!
This is one of the few parenting things I can confidently say I have never and would never do. Even now that my kids are 12 and 7. Way too many variables. Also, my dad and both brothers are firefighters, I have a very healthy fear of night-time fires. By the time you see flames on a monitor from the downstairs restaurant, you are way too late.
Yes, fires are what I'm most concerned about. I don't recall when we started leaving David alone in hotels but it was around the age we felt comfortable leaving him home alone while we go on a date night. We always show him the fire exits and go over all of that when we get to the hotel.
Post by crispnclean on Mar 8, 2024 15:06:07 GMT -5
No way I would ever do this. On a trip with just DH and I, the front desk actually gave keys to our room to two different guests. I was in the bathroom and could hear the sound of someone tapping a key, but the lock didn't unlock. I thought maybe they just had the wrong room, but a few minutes later he was back with a hotel staff member. I was able to open the door and explain that the room had been checked out out to us already. Then twenty minutes later, they apparently checked our room out to a different group of women. This time, the key did work (and our keys were then deactivated). Thankfully I was in the room to let the people know that the hotel was having serious management issues, and they needed to go back to the front desk to get a different room. This all happened at a Hilton hotel. It is way too easy for a random person (or rogue hotel employee) to gain access to a room. DH and I have had a couple of vacations where we spent our evenings sitting on the bathroom floor watching Netflix on the iPad because the kids fell asleep early. This is just one of many ways that having kids affects your ability to do what you want, when you want.
If you find out what kind of anxiety meds those moms are on, LMK.
This was a literal LOL.
I know, so surprising! 3 of the parents are breezy like me, so maybe not so surprising. But the other 2, I was really surprised after all their conversations we’ve had over the past year. Like we don’t keep a continuous camera on our daughter, never have. But these moms were always worried about SIDS, always watching their babies sleep, etc. They both still seem to be more anxious personalities than me even after the initial 6 month newborn phase has lifted, so totally surprised! But yes must have the good drugs
I did that one time to walk outside for a breath of fresh air and meet my DH outside, he got there hours after us between work and traffic. We were outside for maybe 5 minutes? It was brief. And we grabbed cookies from the lobby.
Post by countthestars on Mar 8, 2024 15:33:05 GMT -5
I have not, but I have left my 10 and 8 year old in a hotel room while I was downstairs at a conference, checking in every couple of hours. It was not ideal, but my DD got sick and I had to pick her up from our friend/planned sitter because I didn't want to get friend's family sick.
I also leave them home alone for short periods of time, even my 8 year old.
No . That would scare me. I usually get a condo or residence inn type hotel with a bedroom, and sometimes travel with my mom so we have childcare. The most I have done is leave a 4 year old with an older sibling (5 and 7 years older) while I ran to front desk or to my car, one time was in a snow storm to clean it off.
No way I would ever do this. On a trip with just DH and I, the front desk actually gave keys to our room to two different guests. I was in the bathroom and could hear the sound of someone tapping a key, but the lock didn't unlock. I thought maybe they just had the wrong room, but a few minutes later he was back with a hotel staff member. I was able to open the door and explain that the room had been checked out out to us already. Then twenty minutes later, they apparently checked our room out to a different group of women. This time, the key did work (and our keys were then deactivated). Thankfully I was in the room to let the people know that the hotel was having serious management issues, and they needed to go back to the front desk to get a different room. This all happened at a Hilton hotel. It is way too easy for a random person (or rogue hotel employee) to gain access to a room. DH and I have had a couple of vacations where we spent our evenings sitting on the bathroom floor watching Netflix on the iPad because the kids fell asleep early. This is just one of many ways that having kids affects your ability to do what you want, when you want.
I read Tales from the Front Desk on Reddit every so often and this scenario apparently happens alllllllllllllllll the time. Super common.
Post by penguingrrl on Mar 8, 2024 15:40:07 GMT -5
I definitely have never done that and wouldn’t have. I’m breezy enough that I started leaving each of my kids (even my neurodivergent two) home alone for brief things at 7-8, as they showed the maturity to handle a few minutes starting then, and had them biking/walking a mile alone to school at 8. But a hotel feels a lot less safe, like people can access your room too easily and things like a fire could make it hard to get back to them if an emergency occurred (and if they aren’t mobile they can’t get themselves out).
We haven’t gone away in a while as a family (my 14 year old has been unable to) but I would absolutely leave any of them alone in a room now, but they’re 16, 14, and 11 and used to being home alone.
I was never to helicoptery. We never had a video monitor for any of our kids and I’ve tried to have them be independent, but a kid who is too young to know to and how to get out safely for a fire, etc, is too young to be alone in a hotel room IMO.
Ok maybe someone will be brave enough to click yes and discuss. So far it’s an unanimous no!
Literally multiple parents have told me this unprovoked. Including 2 mom’s who are generally very anxious and have diagnosed anxiety and take meds for it. I guess their meds are working well lol.
My partner and I just switch off going out after she goes to bed if we want to go out on vacation.
I wonder if parents that do this give them some kind of sleep aid because 3 is a crazy age to leave alone! I'd be so sad to think of my 3y/o scared and alone not knowing where I am. And I remain judgmental AF over the couple who left their two kids across town while they went to dinner. I always thought that was so reckless.
My kids all wake up if I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I cannot imagine getting any farther away than the width of my tiny ass house 🤣🫠
Then again, I left my sick 7 year old home alone today while I dropped DD off at school. I clocked it and I was back in 9 minutes.
People really don't feel comfortable leaving their 14 year olds? Unless they have special needs that seems excessive.
The OP says 3 and under.
I feel like my 10yo asks us to leave her now. She likes being home alone, esp with the dog. More tablet time for her. 😂
Oh I know, I was responding more to people saying they didn't leave their kids alone until they were 13+. I was babysitting at 11 lol (which I think is bananas in hindsight, but still).
And while I haven't done this, I could see maybe leaving an under 3 asleep if I was a small inn/b&b and it was literally the same as being downstairs in a normal McMansion.