Post by cricketwife on Jul 26, 2024 13:10:01 GMT -5
I'm sorry you had a miserable time. I've been there. Williamburg two years ago - total whine-fest and misery. But we've also some had a couple of really great trips recently. I thought my kids were growing out of the whining (7 and 10) but based on the ages of yours, maybe it was more luck or how some aspects of the trips were planned.
First, we didn't always have enough money for a vacation. Our finanicial situation has changed in the past few years and we do talk a lot about the fact that we are privileged to be able to go on vacations. It doesn't always cut down on whinig in the moment, but I do think it helps in the bigger picture.
My ideal is to be able to do two trips each summer - one week at the beach, which leans more vacation-y and one week as a trip. Last summer and this summer are the first time we've been able to do this, though we have done some smaller trips or a "just" the beach or something in the past.
We still aren't at the point of being able to take the whole family to Europe or whatever, but we do hope to do that at some point when they are teens.
We went to Niagara this summer and it was a fantastic trip for us. We also drove (from NC). Things that may have contributed to it being a success for us: 1.Both kids had a (limited) say in the destination. This was organic, but in the future I'm going to work to intentially include their ideas. DS2 was begging to travel internationally, so that's how the desitination was chosen (it was affordable and fit that request) Then DS1 asked if we could drive through Ohio on the way there "because he wanted to see what Ohio people were like" and so I included that. I wouldn't have otherwise. 2. We made the road trip part of the vacation rather than just driving to Niagara. We explored a coal mine in WV and we spent a whole day in Cleveland on the way up. In the morning we explored and then the whole afternoon they swam and played at a park on Lake Erie. 3. Hotel pool time every day. We were staying at cheap Fairfield Inn type places, but every pool had a hotel and we made sure they had at least an hour every evening to swim. They LOVED that. It was also a sort of "carrot" we could hold out for good behavior.
Even though it was great, DS1 started saying by Day 3 he wanted to go home. He wasnt' whining, exactly, he's just a homebody and I think he was legitiamately missing home. DS2 is like me and would probably happliy live for months on end living out of a suitcase and exploring new places. In the end, we cut the trip a day short. We were going to spend a day in Pittsburgh on the way back, but decided to skip it and go home because DS1 was ready and because Niagara was so much fun for us, it felt like we had gotten what we wanted out of the trip and we were all fine with going home.
Last summer, we did a trip to Chicago. The kids did complain of all the walking, but overall they were pretty good about it. Sometimes DS2 went onto H's shoulders. I skipped out on some of the Frank Lloyd Wright stuff that I would have liked in favor of more whole-family friendly places last the Museum of Science and Industry and the Aquarium, zoo, etc. The kids don't love eating out in restaurants (WHAT is wrong with them!?!?) but they know that's a big highlight for H and me so we prepare them in advance that that is a non-negiotaible that we are going to do. We let them help decide - give them a choice of two places for example.
At the beach, I've had to become more chill for it to be fun. My kids and H and usually done after an hour at the beach. They will go two or three times a day, but usually for only about an hour. So I go with the flow and just accept this is how they are. I also stopped viewing device time as "wasting time" at the beach. Yes, we could be enjoying the amazing sun, and sand and water, but it is their vacation too and they want time to chill out on devices. This is actually something we include in all trips. They always get some kind of device time. It just keeps them happier. Otherwise, they seem to just want to go home so they can be on devices. Argh. I also can't value the beach over the pool. Again, it's their vacation too and if they want to do the pool, that's fine.
Anyway, that was a lot. We leave Sunday for our week a the beach so I hope that I can report back that it was great and people weren't whiny!
We travel frequently with the kids- now 17 and 12. In fact we are at the end of a weeklong trip in North Carolina right now. The key for us, particularly when they were younger, is making sure there is a decent amount of downtime plus letting them linger and enjoy the things they like instead of trying to fit in everything we would like. In Switzerland we spent ages at certain playgrounds, for example. Would I have preferred to be doing something else in Switzerland? Yes, but they loved it. Also trips with more nature/active things tend to be best for my kids - oceans, pools, lakes, zip lining, waterfalls, bike trails etc. Museums and tours we do, but it leads to the most complaining.
1.Both kids had a (limited) say in the destination. This was organic, but in the future I'm going to work to intentially include their ideas. DS2 was begging to travel internationally, so that's how the desitination was chosen (it was affordable and fit that request) Then DS1 asked if we could drive through Ohio on the way there "because he wanted to see what Ohio people were like" and so I included that. I wouldn't have otherwise.
I think we talked about this before the trip! Our original plan was Niagara and then Ohio, solely because my youngest daughter was begging us to go to Ohio. We were going to do Cuyahoga national park and other stuff in the Cleveland area. When had to cancel our flights we switched to DC as the other location just because there's the auto train that goes from Florida to DC and it seemed better than having all that extra driving. Maybe someday we will make it to Ohio lol.
We took our kids to Hawaii in 2022 (9 & 11). Such a mistake.
Went to an all inclusive last summer (13 & 11) and it was GREAT! The resort was small enough that we’d let them go off and do their own thing, which meant DD stayed in the room and got room service most of the trip and DS met friends and probably annoyed half the resort pretending they were grown.
I took them on my own to Atlanta over spring break and it was pretty good as well. But there are two big things I’ve learned: extra space is necessary (2 rooms in Cancun; a large suite in Atlanta) and limited plans. We had zero in Cancun and had a few set things but mostly ideas in Atlanta. That way no one is overstimulated, there’s plenty of time to chill and watch tv/phones, and no one feels like they’re missing out on something. Also, set food expectations according to your kids. Do they want to eat McDonalds in Hawaii? Fine, you keep your asses in this hotel room and we’ll go have a nice $$, quiet dinner.
1.Both kids had a (limited) say in the destination. This was organic, but in the future I'm going to work to intentially include their ideas. DS2 was begging to travel internationally, so that's how the desitination was chosen (it was affordable and fit that request) Then DS1 asked if we could drive through Ohio on the way there "because he wanted to see what Ohio people were like" and so I included that. I wouldn't have otherwise.
I think we talked about this before the trip! Our original plan was Niagara and then Ohio, solely because my youngest daughter was begging us to go to Ohio. We were going to do Cuyahoga national park and other stuff in the Cleveland area. When had to cancel our flights we switched to DC as the other location just because there's the auto train that goes from Florida to DC and it seemed better than having all that extra driving. Maybe someday we will make it to Ohio lol.
Oh yeah! I didn’t remember that was you! I’m so sorry that none of it turned out how you planned. My post was ridiculously long (sorry!) but my best advice is to keep trying. We’ve had some miserable “vacations” #lolsob but others that have been great. Also, I feel like I block out the whining in my memories so maybe by this time a year or so from now, you will remember how great Niagara was! 🙃🤪
I think I’m meaner than most here. Since the kids were 9 and 11, we have talked about how vacations are a luxury. How we are fortunate to be able to travel, and that DH and I work to be able to afford it. They totally understood how much things costs and not everyone goes on fun trips.
That said, if my kids whined like that, I’d let them know they can stay home next time.
In my lecture on our latest vacation, I may have threatened to buy them both a ticket home and call their grandma to pick them up at the air port.
And I ended with, “You’ll just have to live in the airport for a week, because Grandma is irresponsible and won’t come get you!”
I have a feeling when my kids are grown, they will be reenacting Mom and Dad’s Alaska Flame Out of 2024 at Thanksgiving dinner for laughs.
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
Post by ellipses84 on Jul 26, 2024 15:12:20 GMT -5
I think it helps at that age to give them a say in where you go and what you do when initially planning the trip, but also make them acknowledge there are 5 people in the family and you are not going to get to do what you want to do all the time, and we expect you to be selfless and not complain when it’s someone else’s turn to do what they want. I have to compromise too. Like, I’d love to go to museums all day but my kids could not handle that, and we mostly go to kid friendly interactive museums. We usually do an activity in the morning and then wing it in the afternoon, doing whatever the group feels like doing, even if that is just relaxing at the hotel for a bit.
Last summer all my kids wanted to do was swim in a pool and the 2 hotels on our trip that were supposed to have pools, failed us, and they were so disappointed. We met up with their cousins for 2 days in one city and that was something they were most excited for and said was the best part is the trip. This summer when visiting those same cousins we spent a lot of time at the pool their cousin was life guarding at and by the end of the trip they were complaining non-stop about having to go to the pool all the time. Sometimes I’d have to say, you can sit there and read a book and not swim, but you are going, and usually after 45 minutes they’d get hot and go swimming on their own.
Maybe a beach vacation with another family with kids would help, where they have other kids to play with and with a larger group there could be options for splitting up for different activities. Like, if most of the group heads to the beach but if one adult is busy doing stuff at the beach house, the uncooperative tween could choose to hang out at the house for longer and go to the beach later.
I have one kid who is a homebody and needs more downtime, so I try to keep that in mind. For any Europe summer trip, I think it’s good to combine the city with small towns, countryside and beach, and not try to do too much in the cities. Last year, we went to Paris, Mont St Michel (which is like a castle on the coast), Normandy (which is military history and beaches), London, Scotland (St Andrews and Edinburgh). The hardest part is my kids are extremely picky eaters so we got them McDonald’s way more than I would have liked to keep them from being hangry but we’d still eat a restaurants for us and not worry if they didn’t eat all their food.
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
Copenhagen is very kid friendly!
I was just about to recommend Copenhagen. When we went the kids were 4 and 8, so younger than yours, but we stayed 10 days, half with just me and the kids, and had a great time. The city also has an actually good tourist card pass thing.
Important factors include: Tolerable to great weather in the summer Compact city with great, easy transport (not a ton of sustained walking) Easy to get out of the city and do more nature type stuff Great food overall, child-friendly choices were easy to find Flying Tiger, which is like a chic dollar store with fun and cheap activity kits Tivoli!
In a perfect would would I fly to Denmark to see penguins in the Copenhagen Zoo when I can see penguins in my city zoo? No, but I still had a very pleasant time and was happy that we went.
We have done many trips with our now 7 year old. I think my biggest takeaway is to remember that she is a kid and she does not want to travel quite like an adult does.
I aim to plan one activity a day and the rest of the day is either relaxing or doing something they really want to do. My husband and I also will split up - I will go off and do something that I want knowing my kid will hate and he stays with her doing something she wants. Then we can switch.
For a place like a big city, I’d probably plan something in the morning that we’d like and she will tolerate (like a bus tour) then in the afternoon we’d go to the hotel pool or relax. Dinner will be somewhere we want and she can bring her iPad.
Before leaving, it may also help to explain where you are going and have them all pick an activity that they would like to do there. If everyone doesn’t want to do it then cool. Bring the kids who want to do it and let the others stay with the other parent.
Be flexible, get them involved, but don’t stop traveling!
Although my child is only a toddler so I don’t have personal experience this is our plan. So far we’ve continued to travel with her a lot but obviously our expectations have changed a lot. I still find it to be a vacation because I can wake up whenever, don’t have to worry about a to-do list, wash dishes, etc but it’s obviously different than traveling pre-kid.
We pretty much go with the flow and to be honest although I’ve never been a huge planner we don’t plan a ton. We’re actually on vacation now and we’ve taken her to the playground. When we were in New Orleans I looked up the local library schedule and took her to story time. But then in the afternoon after nap time we’d do more ”adult” things and bring her along but at a slower pace. I’m sure this will continue with incorporating what she wants to do. Also, ideal travel destinations have changed and I certainly take that in to consideration and will consider what will fit best for our family and taking her input in to account.
Post by wanderlustmom on Jul 26, 2024 16:15:28 GMT -5
I'm sorry it had some tough moments! I agree with the others, be kind to yourself. Is traveling with them a big priority for you and your husband or would you be able to take some trips with just the two of you and some others with the kids? I think it depends too on their personalities.
I wasn't a big traveler growing up but I loved every vacation we took and (hence my screen name) really wanted to travel a lot. DH and I met traveling. So we had talks when dating about how we would take our kids along and make travel a big part of our life. It's part of the reason we had two kids, it's part of the reason we didn't buy in the city and chose the suburbs to save money, it's part of the reason we bought the houses that we did. After a long week of work, I'm always thinking--how close am I to our next trip?
DH and DS are huge homebodies so I lucked out that they both love to travel nearly as much as I do. Our son is 19 and our daughter is 17 and we live in a school district with a balanced calendar and extra breaks. We also dont really like trips as much with other friends or families (I know that sounds terrible, we do them sometimes but we like it best us four) and we all stay in one room often to save money.
My travel style was faster before kids and now I see it's good to slow down and not be as rushed.
Mine still fight on the trip but less than at home. We do let them help us with the decisions for the places and stuff we do. Both of mine love the outdoor adventures. They both complain about the hiking and walking sometimes but not too bad. Plenty of things have gone wrong on our trips and it's been stressful but I think it's been good to learn to go with the flow. Last year our South Africa flight was delayed a whole 24 hours after sitting on the tarmac for three hours--they hung in there. DH lost our car keys at Disney years ago and we still laugh about it.
I think I’m meaner than most here. Since the kids were 9 and 11, we have talked about how vacations are a luxury. How we are fortunate to be able to travel, and that DH and I work to be able to afford it. They totally understood how much things costs and not everyone goes on fun trips.
That said, if my kids whined like that, I’d let them know they can stay home next time.
This answer annoys me. OP asked for legitimate help and this reads very much as "I'm a better parent than you because I'm 'meaner' and I've taught my kids to be appreciative." I think most on this board understand that vacations are a luxury and IRL not everyone gets to take them. But to imply that they can stay home if they are too whiny is soooooooooooo unrealistic for 99.9% of the population. Much of this thread has been about the idea that vacations/trips are for everyone in the family, not just the kids. If my kids have to stay home because they are whiny then I have to stay home because I sure AF don't have the money to pay for a vacation and to pay for childcare 24/7 for a week on top of it.
Umm get over it?? I truly think I am much harsher than most parents here. I would straight tell my kids, we spent a lot of money on this and I don’t want to hear a peep of a complaint. Plain and simple. Of course most of the board understands vacation is a luxury, but do they say that to their kids? And my advice was real. Have real convos about vacations and expectations of behavior and attitudes. But of course we do things to have a more successful trip like not taking my kids to stuff I think they’d hate. We build in a lot of down time because they need that, etc.
We travel a LOT with our kids. Part of it, I think honestly, is just getting used to it (adults and kids).
Things that save us: making sure kids get their space away from each other (and sometimes us!) - this usually happens in the form of allowing them to zone out with books or electronics and disconnect a bit.
Separating the kids and having one-on-one time with each - sometimes travel (especially road trips) is just to much TOGETHER for everyone.
Doing at least a couple kid-friendly activities, especially something that lets them get put some energy - even if that's finding a local playground and letting them run around.
Kids are 6 & 10 here.
This is something that came up in discussions after everything went to shit. At home everyone has space and can be alone if they want to, but that doesn't happen when we are sharing a hotel room. I wasn't quite sure how to make it happen, but splitting up for one on one time could be a good idea. Also, I suggested making sure we have a suite next time so there are at least two rooms separated by a door.
We travel almost exclusively via vrbo or Residence Inn. Everyone in one room is TOUGH - we've done it, but have to make sure we get the kids physically tired enough to just drop. When they were bitty, we gave them space by using a peapod tent, but they've long outgrown that. We have made makeshift bed tents, though, for the illusion of some privacy, and it works in a pinch.
Post by dulcemariamar on Jul 26, 2024 16:41:34 GMT -5
I think it helps to have one kid because then they can only fight with you but I guess that isn’t a real solution in most families but it helps that DD can only be annoying with us and as adults we have more tolerance.
We do a lot of traveling and we found it is useful to have a late start of the day (no rushing, plenty of sleep), plan for 2-3 activities in the morning, a lunch, 2 hour break at the hotel and then one activity more in the afternoon/evening. We don’t try to cram in everything.
Lol this was good timing reading this this morning. We just did a staycation about an hour from home, but last night I had one kid in the room crying, one in the car crying, and I was furiously packing up the car swearing to never leave the house again with the two of them 🤣
Anyways I have no suggestions. We do all kid stuff on vacations, but even that comes with complaints at times. I spend a lot of time making sure people are fed at all times and well rested, but my kids are also so much younger. It may not matter at older ages?
My youngest is 12 and this past trip to Puerto Rico was the first one where he could hang with minimal whining. So just stick with it.
My husband feels passionate about our kids becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable so that is why we pushed through on traveling so many years. Getting out of our comfort zone, away from our creature comforts etc. So that was a motivation for a couple years.
Post by UMaineTeach on Jul 26, 2024 16:51:16 GMT -5
My kid can’t stand traveling where she doesn’t have direction every minute. The adults need to know exactly where they are going at all times with no wandering around or “seeing what you see”. Which, is difficult in a place you have never been before.
The crying. The panic. The flopping.
She’s not even cool with going to the store without a list, most of the time. Cruise at 4 was a disaster. Story Land at 4.5 was a mess. Cruise at 5 was better. But, we had extra family support and watched tons of YouTube ship tours with her.
I don’t know. People are different, and families are different and everything I tell you might not work at all. Or you might do this already! But I work crazy hard in advance (and I enjoy doing this), on our itinerary, hotel plans, and dining plans. I do a crazy amount of research and plan out a loose schedule for each day, including restaurants, or at least options. and then I tell the kids in advance everything that we’re supposed to be doing and make sure that there are things geared towards each of their interests. I talked everything up as a big adventure an amazing family time and a chance to see new things. I did have a kid who, at White Sands National Park, originally said it was “too much sand,” lol, but then proceeded to have an absolutely awesome time.
I think my kids are naturally pretty good travelers, though. Except, maybe my youngest. We have to be really sure she doesn’t get too hungry, too thirsty or too tired!
Post by EvieEthelGarland on Jul 26, 2024 17:11:11 GMT -5
I only have one and he's a teen now, but I've had to adjust my style to fit him--and my husband. I like road trips, but now I stay in the same place for at least two nights. Our budget has loosened up in recent years and I can now comfortable afford suites and pay for more activities that interest him. We also don't all have to do the same thing. I have no interest or skill in downhill mountain biking so I'll be hiking and then at the day lodge drinking a beer while they do that. I also expect that when we're at a winery and he's bored, he'll keep that to himself, because it's my vacation too.
Disney and Great Wolf Lodge were absolute disasters with him--the sensory overload was too much. Thankfully our Disney trip was a one day thing while we visited family in SoCal and not a full on Disney vacay.
The OP is years away from this, but he rarely joins us for dinner when we go on vacation now. DH and I get a few date nights and bring him back take out or McDonald's and we all enjoy the break. I don't think I would do this in a DT hotel in a large city, but Sandpoint Idaho? Absolutely.
We stuck to road trips when he was little. We kept it simple and he typically did okay but definitely got whiney. He has always been someone who really needs a routine. We eventually went to domestic flying when he was 5 or 6, then we started trips abroad when he was 8. He's been overseas 5 times since and it's gotten better every time. He's 15 now and traveling with him is so fun. Obviously he's at the age where he wants independence so he can go off to a coffee shop, restaurant, wander around on his own a bit, then we can meet back up later so everyone is happy. It does get easier!!
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jul 26, 2024 18:11:27 GMT -5
I am laughing in today with all the stories and descriptions of kids being turds on vacation.
We just got back from vacation and the kids had plenty of whining. I half joke/half serious day that the kids loved the vacation, because they got to do their favorite thing: conplain!
Post by Jalapeñomel on Jul 26, 2024 18:17:12 GMT -5
My parents have pics of me and my brother on the Great Wall of China, where I am screaming crying. 🤣
I also remember spending hours upon hours in the Smithsonian and every museum at every city I went to, and I HATED HATED HATED it.
I vowed not to do that to my kids, so if we go somewhere overseas or some place less kid friendly, we make sure we find things that are kid friendly, like the aquarium or a playground.
I think I’m meaner than most here. Since the kids were 9 and 11, we have talked about how vacations are a luxury. How we are fortunate to be able to travel, and that DH and I work to be able to afford it. They totally understood how much things costs and not everyone goes on fun trips.
That said, if my kids whined like that, I’d let them know they can stay home next time.
In my lecture on our latest vacation, I may have threatened to buy them both a ticket home and call their grandma to pick them up at the air port.
And I ended with, “You’ll just have to live in the airport for a week, because Grandma is irresponsible and won’t come get you!”
I have a feeling when my kids are grown, they will be reenacting Mom and Dad’s Alaska Flame Out of 2024 at Thanksgiving dinner for laughs.
I have used lots of extreme threats during vacations. My favorite is when we flew somewhere. We had booked the seats in 2s so each kid would be with a parent. They started arguing while we were stuck in line on the jetway and I told them "If you don't knock it off, you two are going to sit next to each other and your dad and I are going to sit together."
Not only did it shut them up, but the man behind us had a good chuckle.
I think I’m meaner than most here. Since the kids were 9 and 11, we have talked about how vacations are a luxury. How we are fortunate to be able to travel, and that DH and I work to be able to afford it. They totally understood how much things costs and not everyone goes on fun trips.
That said, if my kids whined like that, I’d let them know they can stay home next time.
This answer annoys me. OP asked for legitimate help and this reads very much as "I'm a better parent than you because I'm 'meaner' and I've taught my kids to be appreciative." I think most on this board understand that vacations are a luxury and IRL not everyone gets to take them. But to imply that they can stay home if they are too whiny is soooooooooooo unrealistic for 99.9% of the population. Much of this thread has been about the idea that vacations/trips are for everyone in the family, not just the kids. If my kids have to stay home because they are whiny then I have to stay home because I sure AF don't have the money to pay for a vacation and to pay for childcare 24/7 for a week on top of it.
Yeah that advice was so unhelpful. Especially because 1) if I told my kid I’d leave her at home she would flip out and have a crying meltdown. Both the 8 year old and the 5.5 year old. And 2) a vacation without the kids is 100% NOT POSSIBLE for us. We have no family or grandparents that would keep our kids so we could do an adult only trip. I get so jealous of friends who do them, and really (internally) annoyed at friends who have that option and then complain about it (mostly one specific friend, don’t worry I keep my thoughts to myself).
Honestly, almost all our trips make me feel like you did. We have travelled much less than I hoped as a result. Thd worst part is the kids think they want to travel so they whine about not going on three major destination trips every year (like they insist all their classmates do - which we know isn’t true). Occasionally we’ll luck out and have a. Good trip. 2019 we went to Florida, stayed at a beach front condo and visited Disney world. It was mostly plop down and chill All in all that trip wax great. Last summer we did an Sf to Vegas to Grand Canyon to Santa Fe to white sands to Carlsbad road trip that wax also a success. Both were completely different. We’ve failed at Tahoe multiple times, we’ve failed at a southern ca Disneyland road trip, we’ve had a tricky trip to Banff, we’ve struggled just heading up to bodega bay (an hour from home).
I dont know. Our main solution is to travel less and spend less when we do so we resent it less when it goes wrong. We don’t travel without kids so we also miss out but that is just what life looks like for us. Neurodivergence plays a role but it isn’t the only issue
My favorite is when we flew somewhere. We had booked the seats in 2s so each kid would be with a parent. They started arguing while we were stuck in line on the jetway and I told them "If you don't knock it off, you two are going to sit next to each other and your dad and I are going to sit together."
Not only did it shut them up, but the man behind us had a good chuckle.
I love this.
My kids would definitely call my bluff, get seated together, get the flight attendant called on them for being so obnoxious, get separated by the crew to sit with one of us es h,, and then complain to me for the rest of the way that I’d promised they could sit together 🤪
Commiseration. I get it. There’s a lot of stuff I’d love to do with my kids, but they’re just not quite old enough to appreciate it yet. We stick to more kid friendly destinations to avoid the disappointment. I look forward to vacations with them as older teens and young adults.
The best vacations we’ve been on have involved the beach. DH and I don’t love the beach or heat and humidity, but the kids always have a blast and it provides an opportunity to relax. We also go to Breckenridge every summer for a week. There’s plenty to do, but we also build in down time for them to watch tv or play video games and for us to relax. They get to swim, hike, do the rides and activities at the mountain base, ride bikes, etc.
So I guess that’s my advice - find places that are a little more kid friendly and stick with that until they’re older. And then read them the riot act before taking them anywhere expensive so they know what’s expected of them. Ha
jinkies, I highly, highly recommend solo travel. I just today came across a note I made in my notebook about how at peace I felt on my solo trip this year. It’s basically a non-negotiable for me.
Patsy Baloney, when did your youngest turn 5!? I thought he was like 3. lol
I think it comes down to the kids personalities. My kids have both been very excited to travel since about age 3. They like to make packing lists, read books about where they are going, watch videos, make plans, etc. But they both suck at sports. Outdoor activities are not their jam. They like music but not video games.
As far as where to travel, I've always been more in tune with what the kids will be able to handle and enjoy than my husband. I've had to set travel expectations accordingly which annoys him. Like he wanted to go to Quebec City in the winter the year DS was born. I could see myself struggling with a very mobile 9 month old forced to stay indoors everywhere and having 5 year old DD being disappointed about not doing fun things because of her baby brother. I said no, we are going to Disney World in Orlando. My husband sulked at my decision. DD was in Minnie and Princess heaven. DS had lots of room to explore outdoors at the resort, etc. We got to dress our kids up in their PJs and eat nice adult meals at restaurants on property which I knew my husband would enjoy (he did).
My kids are 4 years apart. In the US, we sometimes split them up when traveling. I took 7 year old DD to tour the Mayflower while my husband took 3 year old DS to have ice cream. On one of our Disney World trips where they were 8 and 4, I took each of them into the parks separately so I didn't have to hear the other one whine. On the Alaska cruise, DD went on excursions with my husband and I stayed back with DS on the ship because he didn't understand what the difference was between Alaska and New York. Next month will be our first trip to Europe with the kids and it's only happening because I know deep down inside that DS is finally ready at age 6 to journey beyond the US - he won't be a major PITA on the 6 hour plane ride + airport travel, he is willing to at least put a new food in his mouth, he can communicate his needs, he's learning to have patience, etc. It helps that both he and DD are mega excited about the cities we are visiting which is exactly why I picked those places.
Hang in there, if it's important to you then don't give up. This year I also started taking each kid separately on their own trips. It started because I wanted to meet up with old friends out of town after 13 years of not seeing them, but didn't want to leave the kids behind. DD couldn't miss anymore school so I took only DS. He LOVED it. At one point he missed his big sister but then he also loved finding souvenirs for her. So naturally DD wanted a similar trip so I made that happen for her after school ended. She also LOVED it. We got to do things without DS that we almost never get to do at home - like go to the movies without hearing him complain about leaving him behind or drink smoothies because he doesn't like them. She didn't miss him as much LOL.
My favorite is when we flew somewhere. We had booked the seats in 2s so each kid would be with a parent. They started arguing while we were stuck in line on the jetway and I told them "If you don't knock it off, you two are going to sit next to each other and your dad and I are going to sit together."
Not only did it shut them up, but the man behind us had a good chuckle.
I love this.
My kids would definitely call my bluff, get seated together, get the flight attendant called on them for being so obnoxious, get separated by the crew to sit with one of us es h,, and then complain to me for the rest of the way that I’d promised they could sit together 🤪
DD learned not to call my bluff when she was 9: we were packing up the house and she was supposed to choose what books to save for last. I told her if she didn’t, I would and she’d get no say in what was left for her. She called my bluff and watched in shock as I started with her Harry Potters and systematically packed all of her books except a few educational or picture books.