We go to the same place every year. I’m bored to death of it, but my whole family loves it. This year I put my foot down and refused to be in charge of planning an activity each day because everyone gripes about my plans. I think my kids were honestly shocked that 1) I thought they complained, and 2) I wasn’t doing the planning. I booked things they told me they wanted to do and that was it. One day, we went to a neighboring city my MIL always says she wants to visit. It was on the 4th of July. She had no idea the drive was as long as it was, had no clue where to go other than the city name, and was shocked the visitor center in this little town was closed on a national holiday. I don’t think anyone will EVER complain about my planning again. (Brushes her hands in a self satisfied manner.) My kids’ very favorite part of that excursion was getting gas station snacks on the way home. lol.
My daughter (12) is a great traveler. My son (10) is autistic and actually is really great at the traveling part (flying, navigating airports, etc) but has a very limited food palate and mostly wants to stay in the hotel/condo. He has a very small battery. We have started traveling for DD to play a sport, and part of why I agreed to that is to let her travel and see new places without being limited by her brother’s disability. It’s become a girls’ activity and bonding experience for us.
Post by clairebear on Jul 26, 2024 20:33:03 GMT -5
I just did a solo trip with my daughters 6 and 7. We drove 12 hours one way to NC to a cabin. It was a unicorn of a trip and I'm still in shock at how well it went. A couple of things made it so much smoother: No screens. We do limited screens anyway and it was nice to set the expectation. They knew not to ask, and then they were set up to want to do things on vacation since screens weren't an option. We did watch Inside Out 2 in the theater, but that was it. I told them ahead of time they couldn't buy anything, don't even ask. They asked a couple of times, but it dramatically cut down on the whining. On other trips, they've been allowed to take $20 bucks of their own money, but when it's gone it's gone. I didn't travel for more than 6 hours each day. It meant more money on hotels and less time at our destination, but it was great to have a break each day. Going up we did a kid's museum and fun-themed restaurant, then swimming at the hotel. The trip back was another science museum and again swimming at the hotel pool. Our actual NC days were very slow-paced. Some hiking, a state park with animal habitats, and an adventure ropes course, but mainly it was just hanging out at the community pool, lake, playing board games, etc. I'm usually a go, go go person, but I came to terms with the fact that vacations are now kid-centered and that it was okay to relax by a pool with a book looking at gorgeous mountain views. Other fun trips have been cruises and beach. We tried St Augustine, FL for the history aspect, but that was mostly a miss. They tolerated a few museums and the fort, but my 6 year old cried through the entire 45-minute tour of a historical house. We over-tipped the tour guide and split so fast. Traveling is hard with kids!! Some trips are great, some are awful. I've never regretted any of them though.
This is so well timed. We are on our 7th day in Hawaii and while DS 13 has been delightful at times, he mostly wants to look at his phone. We just spent a half hour trying to convince him to go down what is supposed to be the best most epic water slide on the island but I gave up and went to the adult infinity pool and let DH deal with it.
We travel a lot with our kids who are 11, 10, 7, and 4. We’re on a trip now with my side of the family and take a 6-hour flight home tomorrow. It definitely takes a different type of planning vs. pre kids, but for the most part we all enjoy it. Of course there is plenty of whining and fighting too.
I like the meme that says ‘some people say traveling with kids is hard. Have they tried staying home with kids?’ Or something along those lines.
We do a lot of traveling with other families with kids, and it seems to cut down on the fighting when they have similar age friends or cousins on the trip. We mostly stay in rental condos/houses vs hotels so we can spread out and have a kitchen and sometimes a yard. Over the holidays we’re going on our first big international trip with kids, involving 12 hourflights and 3 new countries over 19 days. Fingers crossed for that!
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
Aww yeah that’s tough. I think also adjusting expectations helps. My partner’s career involves traveling the world and seeing things so he often didn’t "get” vacationing when we first started dating. He is also not a morning person. So he’s never going to get up at 8am to tour the louvre. We travel great together because I would usually get up in the morning and do whatever I wanted and then by 11am onwards we would do stuff together. In addition, traveling alone became important to me so I could at least have 1 trip by myself to travel exactly how I wanted.
So anyway, just in general it can certainly be hard to adjust expectations but it can help. Maybe 1 morning you only do something with 1 of the kids or even alone for example.
I think it helps to have one kid because then they can only fight with you but I guess that isn’t a real solution in most families but it helps that DD can only be annoying with us and as adults we have more tolerance.
Comparing 1 kid to 2 kids is completely night and day. Three or more kids? That's a different planet my lizard brain can't even comprehend.
We're lucky in the sense that my kids really enjoy traveling.
The last few years we did a national park, London and Paris, and this year a tropical island.
Even still, we make sure to do activities that they will like and build in plenty of rest time. My 12 yr old moaned and was grumpy a bit but he's like that at home, too so there wasn't any difference there.
Post by dcrunnergirl52 on Jul 27, 2024 7:05:03 GMT -5
I totally feel you. Traveling is hard, and it takes practice and a few rough trips to learn what works (and even then it can still be hard). We travel a lot, and are actually leaving for Asia for 3 weeks with our kids (almost 14, almost 14, 11, 6). Here are things I've learned to make it more pleasant for all of us (especially b/c when we started trips year ago, I was more rigid, wanting kids to "appreciate" everything, want to do everything, etc. but that made us all stressed):
--Build one big activity per day, preferably in the morning. If you do the rest of the activities for the day, then great. If everyone wants down time in the afternoon/evening to swim, be on screens, etc., let them have it.
--I hate losing that afternoon evening time, so sometimes I'll just go do an activity alone, or DD and I will go on a shopping adventure together. When we were in Amsterdam last year, DH and the boys all wanted to veg out after about 3pm, so DD and I went on a "Miffy-hunt" to find tons of Miffy stuff b/c she's obsessed, find the Miffy statues, etc. It is one of our favorite memories.
--If you're in a small hotel room, designate "spaces" for everyone to lounge, even if it's just what side of the bed someone is sleeping on. It's prevents a lot of fighting.
--Arrange for easy transportation. I try to always arrange a pick-up at the airport after long flights (like when we land in Tokyo next week) or we take a lot of taxis. Yes, public transportation would be easier and cheaper, but few things are worse than dragging kids through an airport after a long flight to figure out public transportation. Or, starting a day with fighting to figure out the subway at commuting hour, with four kids, and arriving at our activity sweaty and bickering.
--Don't freak out if the kids won't eat the local food and just eat french fries for a week. In France last year, DS3 basically refused to eat anything but PBJ or McDonald's. I try to remind myself that everyting is new to them, it's overwhelming, and they may just want to control one thing--their food. So, we ate at McD a lot, but oh well. And, I fully expect in Asia that he'll just survive on french fries and fruit.
--Do kid-friendly activities. In France, going to the Paris Aquarium wasn't at the top of my list, but my kids LOVE aquariums, and had the best time. Same thing when we drove into Switzerland...going to Zoo Basel was their pick, even if it wasn't mine, and it was actually a super lovely day and a really good zoo.
For Europe, I think London, Amsterdam, or Copenhagen are great first trips.
Post by lizlemon19 on Jul 27, 2024 13:48:56 GMT -5
Vacations with kids are tough- especially different ages. Some kids are just more comfortable at home and older kids can be hard to get off electronics. Try to not take it personally. My kids bicker incessantly and it is magnified on vacation.
We do a family vacation with the kids each year and then we each do our own less expensive trip with things the kids wouldn’t like. So this year the kid trip is a Disney cruise (we did one 18 months ago and they LOVED it, and then my H is doing a solo hiking trip a few hours away, and I’m adding a few days to a work trip to Europe. It lets us get the kind of trips we like without the kid whining factor.
For the big family vacation, we typically pick two places we think would be fun and they get to pick from the two. Next year it’s California for a few theme park days and a couple beach/pool days. We come up with a bunch of potential activities and agree on the top ones. I don’t know if they’re better behaved on trips because they feel like they got to pick and plan it or what, but they do well. This is a surprise since they are both homebodies by nature and we get tons of whining on random weekend outings.
Post by mysteriouswife on Jul 27, 2024 15:55:16 GMT -5
We did an overnight trip this week. Before we made it out of the garage I threatened to get out of the car and stay home and H loudly said “don’t make me regret spending my money on this.” They finally chilled out and arguing was at a minimum.
There is an 8 year gap between the kids. It’s hard to plan a family trip that fits both kids interest. We did a water park and they both seemed happy. H and I took turns with each kid and we did family activities too.
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
We took our kids (7 and 11) on a Mediterranean cruise last summer and it was a good compromise. Having a home base with reliable food options they wanted to eat, a pool, and a kids club was really good for them. For us, it was so nice to have child care. We booked small group tours of places we really wanted to see but we also did a beach day and went to a water park. Viator offers family oriented day tours which made places like the Colosseum much more interesting for the kids.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
One day, we went to a neighboring city my MIL always says she wants to visit. It was on the 4th of July. She had no idea the drive was as long as it was, had no clue where to go other than the city name, and was shocked the visitor center in this little town was closed on a national holiday.
This reminds me so much of the time my FIL insisted that we go to Tucson for the day when we were visiting him (he lives in Phoenix). This was before smartphones and we figured he had some stuff planned out, so it was a shock when halfway there my H asked "so what are we going to do in Tucson?" And my FIL replied "I dunno, I've never been!" It was a Sunday, we found almost nothing open, and of course we didn't have computers in our pockets to look up anything to do or anywhere to eat so we just drove around aimlessly and eventually left. Now whenever my H and I do anything spontaneous, one of us usually asks "what are we going to do in Tucson? 😂
I totally feel you. Traveling is hard, and it takes practice and a few rough trips to learn what works (and even then it can still be hard). We travel a lot, and are actually leaving for Asia for 3 weeks with our kids (almost 14, almost 14, 11, 6). Here are things I've learned to make it more pleasant for all of us (especially b/c when we started trips year ago, I was more rigid, wanting kids to "appreciate" everything, want to do everything, etc. but that made us all stressed):
--Build one big activity per day, preferably in the morning. If you do the rest of the activities for the day, then great. If everyone wants down time in the afternoon/evening to swim, be on screens, etc., let them have it.
--I hate losing that afternoon evening time, so sometimes I'll just go do an activity alone, or DD and I will go on a shopping adventure together. When we were in Amsterdam last year, DH and the boys all wanted to veg out after about 3pm, so DD and I went on a "Miffy-hunt" to find tons of Miffy stuff b/c she's obsessed, find the Miffy statues, etc. It is one of our favorite memories.
--If you're in a small hotel room, designate "spaces" for everyone to lounge, even if it's just what side of the bed someone is sleeping on. It's prevents a lot of fighting.
--Arrange for easy transportation. I try to always arrange a pick-up at the airport after long flights (like when we land in Tokyo next week) or we take a lot of taxis. Yes, public transportation would be easier and cheaper, but few things are worse than dragging kids through an airport after a long flight to figure out public transportation. Or, starting a day with fighting to figure out the subway at commuting hour, with four kids, and arriving at our activity sweaty and bickering.
--Don't freak out if the kids won't eat the local food and just eat french fries for a week. In France last year, DS3 basically refused to eat anything but PBJ or McDonald's. I try to remind myself that everyting is new to them, it's overwhelming, and they may just want to control one thing--their food. So, we ate at McD a lot, but oh well. And, I fully expect in Asia that he'll just survive on french fries and fruit.
--Do kid-friendly activities. In France, going to the Paris Aquarium wasn't at the top of my list, but my kids LOVE aquariums, and had the best time. Same thing when we drove into Switzerland...going to Zoo Basel was their pick, even if it wasn't mine, and it was actually a super lovely day and a really good zoo.
For Europe, I think London, Amsterdam, or Copenhagen are great first trips.
All of these are great tips, especially the bolded. We took my kid to Italy and Greece in 2022 (when they were 6) and they basically ate nothing but bread, cheese, fruit, and fries for an entire month. And honestly, it was fine, lol. As long as they're fed and not whining, I consider that a win. We're planning a trip to Belize this November and I'm pretty sure my kid will eat nothing but plain tortillas and white rice. Oh well.
We always try to plan one thing per day, and even then, some days our plans just don't work. Our kid was pretty good in Europe but our day at the Vatican was basically one giant meltdown, so we just dashed through the whole Vatican museum, saw the Sistine Chapel, and left. They whined through an entire day at the Boboli Gardens in Florence, and at the time it sucked, but now it's a funny family story.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jul 27, 2024 19:09:28 GMT -5
My suggestions for a kid friendly Europe trip:
Belgium and the Netherlands were very kids friendly. They also have lots of French fries, crepes, and waffles.
Stay in one place and take day trips. We used Brussels as our home base.
For said day trips, use trains. The local trains (not the high speed ones where you have to book specific times). That way you have the flexibility to come and go whenever you want, and there are trains every 20-60 minutes.
My kids need down time, and the trains worked as downtime for them.
We also needed space beyond a hotel room. We found a family suite that was basically a 2 bedroom apartment, at a hilton garden inn.
Finally, here are some examples of activities we did and didn't do.
Did: science museum, Atomium, climbing up to the top of things (like church towers), wafel cooking class, anne frank museum, playgrounds, hot springs/swimming pools, interesting trains (double decker), looking at bike garages (this was endlessly fascinating for my kids, and every town we went to had them at the train station), eating vast quantities of croissants and refusing to eat much else
Didn't: long sit down restaurants, art museums, churches
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
Copenhagen is very kid friendly!
A couple of influencers I follow are in Copenhagen (or just left). Sgardnerstyle and renovationhusbands. The city looks lovely and she was gushing over the zoo and a few other things. Seems like it could make for a great kid trip.
Post by karinothing on Jul 29, 2024 6:29:13 GMT -5
I do want to point out there are ways to make kids like art museums! We always visit art museums. Kids can be appreciative of this stuff, you just need to find the right now and looking at portraits of people who died 300 years ago, is typically not the one! One thing that helps for us is finding museums with big modern installations vs. just portraits. My kids LOVE looking at art installations that are big and grand. The kind of project that takes over a whole room that experiments in light, sound, texture. That sort of thing. Anything that is immersive. Most big cities have modern art museums to check out. Anyway, just here to support the arts and encourage introducing kids to all the amazing art out there and helping them learn to appreciate it.
I think it helps to have one kid because then they can only fight with you but I guess that isn’t a real solution in most families but it helps that DD can only be annoying with us and as adults we have more tolerance.
Comparing 1 kid to 2 kids is completely night and day. Three or more kids? That's a different planet my lizard brain can't even comprehend.
Yes this! I feel like so much of our vacation woes are because my kids can't agree on what they want to do (one kid is much more active, one kid loves animals and wants to do anything that involves animals, one kid is a thrill seeker and the other has anxiety) and while we practice compromising and doing things that make other people happy and taking turns etc., and also split up at times (which is my least favorite thing to do on a trip, but I compromise), it just adds another level of trying to make everyone happy. We often travel with my bff's family, so that means 5 kids total, and while that actually usually works out well, walking around a touristy area with ALL the activities and trying to get the kids to pick 1 or 2 to do for the day was impossible.
Another vote for no screens during vacation. We do 100% no screens while camping, but in the hotel sometimes we’ll all watch a tv show once we’re in bed for the night as a treat. The kids are used to it by now so once the expectation is set there hasn’t been much fighting about it.
I really wanted to go to Europe next summer, but I can't figure out what 'kid-friendly' would look like exactly. Obviously they are not interested in going to like the Louvre lol. I don't really want to cross the ocean just to swim in hotel pools. Maybe that is a subject for another thread.
Obviously this has been covered now since you wrote the post, but there are for sure ways to do this! Wherever we go we find kind centered things we can do with ours. Aquarium, kids museum, playground, zoo, etc. When we were in Dublin last year my kid was enthralled with the double decker busses so we would ride those around the city finding the best playgrounds.
I also take Patsy Baloney 's tough love approach when needed. DS is an only child and the vast majority of our decisions centre around him. He is absolutely old enough to suck it up and endure an activity that isn't his most favourite because someone else in the group wants to do it. It's part of being a family and putting other people first sometimes.
We have not had to do this too much with my kiddo yet, but with my goddaughter who we travel with we do. And I think it is really helpful for us to do this starting now with our younger son so he understands and is aware that there is more than just him.
I think an adjustment in expectations has helped me
this this this. Overall, trips are different now that we have a kid, but I 100% feel like we are on vacation on not a trip. I love traveling with my son. When he was little I had this picture of being on the beach with him napping in the shade and my husband and I doing whatever we wanted and our kiddo just coming along. It took about 2 years to realize that won't work, but by the time S was potty trained and no longer napping, AND we adjusted our expectations, our trips really were enjoyable. My h and I would love to sleep in and relax for a bit in the am, but our son obviously does not want to sleep in, so he gets screen time for a couple hours every morning on vacation so we can sleep in. Then my h still prefers to lounge for an hour or so, while S and I want to go do stuff, so we will go explore together and have special one on one time before h joins us.
Other tips
We rarely stay in hotels that are not full suites with a separate sleeping area. We travel with friends a lot so they have built in entertainment. We try our best to find a place with a pool or beach right outside the door if going to a tropical/warm location. We research the best kid activities in the area, even if it means taking a few hours and going to a trampoline park or something we could do at home.
Post by aprilsails on Jul 29, 2024 17:08:21 GMT -5
I'm on a trip with the kids right now since I think they should get a couple of days in a hotel every year so that they know proper behaviour and so that it's a little treat. DH is at home since he cannot handle it. He hates travelling already, and travelling with the kids completely undoes him. I have much more patience and I enjoy travelling a lot and I think it's an important skill for them to develop.
I've taken them to a small city 2 hours away where I went to university. I've seen everything to see here so I don't really care. I get to go to some of my favourite restaurants and shops, we can hit the parks and the beach, go back to school shopping here at the outlet shops, and the kids have generally been well behaved so far. We took a boat tour of the harbour, visited with friends nearby, and then will go to a small aquarium on our way home.
Right now I'm trying to convince DD(8) that we should head to the restaurant right away since she will be hungry in half an hour and will be complaining when the food takes half an hour to show up. She doesn't want to leave the play area in the hotel. I told her if she dares complain at the restaurant she is in trouble since she has been warned.
I’m on the last full day of a trip right now with mixed results. Sometimes the kids complain that they’re bored during an amazing activity (like when we were in Paris this April—seriously, shut it, kids). I agree that having a low screens expectation—we allow one hour a day—makes things go smoother.
We also allow for tons of downtime. Two activities a day is enough for all of us. And when spirits start to flag, we will spoil them a little. I honestly wanted to smack my 12 year old today when she was whining incessantly at a pretty expensive water park that H and I were not doing for us, at all. But instead I bought both kids some cotton candy. Happiness ensued. I know she didn’t “deserve” it, but probably something was bugging her that she couldn’t articulate. It was so easy to change her mindset, and then we all enjoyed the rest of the day so much more.
We are starting to travel more and more with our kids (almost 8 and 12). We learned in 2021 that my youngest hates the beach. She declared it "too sandy, too wavy, and too salty" and just ate snacks on her towel and grumped til we went to the pool. She is more adventurous now but still NEEDS her own room/bed which makes travel more $$ and she is picky about food.
We allow unlimited ipad time on long travel days in the car or plane but otherwise no screen time on vacation unless we are watching a movie or something together. Knowing it's not an option means less griping about wanting to go back to the hotel room.
Mine like nature and we've done the junior ranger badges at about half a dozen national parks. They love aquariums, cool parks, and pools. Museums aren't interesting to my 8 year old but my 12 year old likes them. I will take just her with me to DC in two years and leave my younger one at home with my husband.
I think the more you do it the more you learn what works for your family, but I would not be taking kids that young and grumpy about traveling to Europe anytime soon. Keep it simple and focus on kid friendly activities.
Also, there’s a reason people go to Disney a lot. 🤣🤣🤣
I'm considering a 3-4 day "down and back" to Disneyland. (two driving days, one park day from rope drop to fireworks, maybe one calm day). It will be a mess, but no matter how miserable things are in the moment, they will remember having had an *amazing* summer vacation for under $1,500.
We last did this 7 years ago when my youngest was 3. It's got to be easier now, right?
We’re in the Swiss Alps right now (Wengen) and it’s been amaaaazing for all of us. It’s so kid friendly here - epic playgrounds at the top of mountains (and playgrounds have bars! Everyone wins!). My kids are currently racing around the village doing these intricate ball runs (Kugelbahn). We’ve hiked, boated, swam, taken every possible type of transportation (gondolas, trams, funiculars). I’ve been all over and this is the perfect place for a family vacation in Europe. I now feel like I never have to take the kids to Disney as it will never come close to the fun they had here. 10/10.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Jul 30, 2024 6:11:38 GMT -5
Are you planning in lots of things that the kids actually enjoy doing? That makes a world of difference for us. We spend most of the time in the car listening to audiobooks or reading aloud to her, which she likes. I seek out water slides and playgrounds to stop at along the way. Restaurants that serve breakfast all day. It can still be pretty exhausting, but it helps a lot if a lot of the stops are things she is genuinely interested in. Granted, it can make it so there isn't so much time for what the adults wanted to do, but we're getting better at finding our own joy along the way. We discovered on our most recent trip that our kid is ridiculously motivated by the national parks junior ranger program and passport stamps... and they seem to have them not only at every national park, but at all the smaller national monuments too. Penny presses are a surprising big motivator too.
I agree with the posters above who said there is a lot of trial and error involved. And resetting expectations.
For example, I have one kid who gets really bad motion sickness. This anxiety comes up the most during travel when we will be doing new things, new environments. Over the years I have figured out the perfect combo of meds, how much we can push it with activities (white water rafting last year was just fine) and what we need to do if he does get motion sickness. I only learned all of this by having some errors along the way. THere was one sequence of flights where he threw up 4 times and it was miserable.
We try to do shorter trips, make sure we have low expectations and a lot of breaks (and they carry snacks and water), and they usually help research and choose what they want to do. Also treating their ADHD helped a lot.So usually a lot of zoos, lol. My family was very nonstop when we traveled as kids, so it's laughable how little we "accomplish" on vacations now.