Teen parent check-in

[mysteriouswife]

My DD is going to kill me before she moves out.

I told you guys about being woken up. Then her sending links to a dress for me to buy.

The icing on the cake… she told me my hair looked like a Halloween decoration. It wasn’t rude it was a brainless teen moment of a back handed compliment.

Guys I went on a job interview with this hair.

Anyone else barely surviving teen years?

[erbear]

Raises hand.

13 was fine. 15 might be the death of me.

[livinitup]

First day 11th grade happened over here today. She likes to be independent and I give her lots of credit that she is up and out for school on time. But god forbid I’m around or helping. Two years ago I didn’t get a first day of school photo because HOW HORRIBLE that would be. Last night, somebody asked “are you going to be here in the morning … you know … for the 1st day photo?”

Yes! I mean, sure, whatever. I’m not even allowed to be excited she wants a 1st day of school photo. Because that might frighten her like how bunny rabbits get frightened and run away.

[snapoutofit]

DS is 15. Sweet, sweet boy. Agreeable. Lovey. CANNOT wake him up in the morning to save my ever loving mind. I have found no alarm clock that can wake him. No amount of hounding. He’s perfectly pleasant when he wakes up. Goes to bed between 8:30 and 10:00. No phone in his room. No caffeine after noon. Works out all the time. Plays sports. I’m at a loss.

I’ve also taken two weed vapes off him in the last few months. privileges have been removed. He’s just…I don’t know. He does have ADHD and anxiety. The anxiety is almost exclusively around school. His ADHD sx have been fairly well managed with therapy and parental support and an outstanding school counselor who adores him. We are not taking the possibility of meds off the table and revisit regularly. But I see a huge difference based on diet.

[jinkies]

Well, DS (still has learners permit) bumped the car into the center post between our garage doors and set off a chain reaction that resulted in us needing all new garage doors and re-siding that part of the garage. he's a great kid and actually a very good driver but seems to be disproportionately prone to freak accidents.

Problems with DD are not as light hearted so I will spare you the details.

Suffice to say that one of us isn't going to make it through her teen years.

[luckystar2]

Sept 4, 2024 17:49:28 GMT -5 livinitup said:

First day 11th grade happened over here today. She likes to be independent and I give her lots of credit that she is up and out for school on time. But god forbid I’m around or helping. Two years ago I didn’t get a first day of school photo because HOW HORRIBLE that would be. Last night, somebody asked “are you going to be here in the morning … you know … for the 1st day photo?”

Yes! I mean, sure, whatever. I’m not even allowed to be excited she wants a 1st day of school photo. Because that might frighten her like how bunny rabbits get frightened and run away.

This is exactly my life lol! I always take pics before school and then on first day. She gets so annoyed but yet always is bugging me about when I’m doing them. She claims she doesn’t want to do them she just needs to know when I’m doing them. We got in a huge fight on Sunday doing them. She will mope and give me the worst smiles and I get pissed because she’s just wasting our time. First day of school pic is always terrible because she looks like she wants to kill me.

Today I came into kitchen after she got home from school. I wanted to ask how it went and she immediately yelled at me - why am I down here in the kitchen?! Sigh.

On one hand we are lucky - she’s a good kid, straight A amazing athlete. On the other she is so cranky and terrible to us.

[marshmallowhands]

Sept 4, 2024 18:18:29 GMT -5 snapoutofit said:

. But I see a huge difference based on diet.

Would you mind sharing what you’ve seen with diet?

[pinkdutchtulips]

I just want the school thing straightened out. 

Lots of DEEP BREATHS .... One thing I am proud of her for is that she tossed her 2 vapes. So we're dealing w withdrawals rn, not fun. 

[snapoutofit]

Sept 4, 2024 18:45:20 GMT -5 marshmallowhands said:

Sept 4, 2024 18:18:29 GMT -5 snapoutofit said:

. But I see a huge difference based on diet.

Would you mind sharing what you’ve seen with diet?

Mainly as many ‘whole’ foods as possible. Protein, fruit, veg. He has eggs almost every morning with some kind of fruit. Lower refined sugar. As little as possible. But, specifically the fat free, straight sugar candy (gummies, sour candies, twizzlers, jelly beans…you get the idea). Sugar with some fat (cookies, chocolate, ice cream) do not effect him as negatively. And we try to completely eliminate the red dye 40. For some reason that makes him wild. He’ll eat school lunch sometimes but mostly we’ll pack salad with roasted chicken.

[expectantsteelerfan]

snapoutofit, my 15 year old 10th grader also canNOT wake up in the morning. He has 2 alarms literally going off in his ear that he sleeps through. My complaint though is that he's supposed to have a 10 o'clock bedtime on school nights and 11 on weekends, and though he shuts off his computer at 9 and goes up to his room at 10 like he's supposed to, I hear him at small hours (like midnight/1 AM) going back downstairs. He claims he's hungry and getting something to eat, but I suspect he's taking his phone up with him at 10 and talking to his girlfriend and then going down to put it on the charger. His phone is locked down so that he can't do anything on it after 10, but if his girlfriend calls before 10, the call will continue without issue.

I just threatened that if he doesn't start actually going to bed at 10, I'm going to move his bedtime back to 9 on school nights and make him charge his phone in my room. It feels ridiculous to have to do this, but that's where we are.

[snapoutofit]

Sept 4, 2024 18:53:34 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

snapoutofit, my 15 year old 10th grader also canNOT wake up in the morning. He has 2 alarms literally going off in his ear that he sleeps through. My complaint though is that he's supposed to have a 10 o'clock bedtime on school nights and 11 on weekends, and though he shuts off his computer at 9 and goes up to his room at 10 like he's supposed to, I hear him at small hours (like midnight/1 AM) going back downstairs. He claims he's hungry and getting something to eat, but I suspect he's taking his phone up with him at 10 and talking to his girlfriend and then going down to put it on the charger. His phone is locked down so that he can't do anything on it after 10, but if his girlfriend calls before 10, the call will continue without issue.

I just threatened that if he doesn't start actually going to bed at 10, I'm going to move his bedtime back to 9 on school nights and make him charge his phone in my room. It feels ridiculous to have to do this, but that's where we are.

I do feel bad because teens are just kind of wired to be up at night and sleep later but that’s not how our world is set up. H is a night owl and weee on one level so he can’t really sneak out for the phone very easily.

[EvieEthelGarland]

In the midst of reading this thread, we'd had a blow-up over online PE. I have asked him repeatedly over the summer to log in with me so we can make sure he's on track but he never did until today. He missed submitting the fitness log due 8/26 and this is my fault because I should've argued with him all summer about logging in with me? It will likely be ok because there are 7 more weeks to log activity. Also learned that he did not read all the instructions to know there is a 10 day window to elect to do it Pass/Fail. "I was focused on the log!"

My besties son did not get his diploma because of online PE, so as long as we fix it before that, I guess we're ok? (and he's enrolled and doing well in university, so I guess it was ok for him too?)

[litebright]

DD1 is at her first activity that she has driven herself to without a parent -- volleyball practice. It is less than a mile away, she did a test drive by herself the other day and it was FINE, but I am still going to be on pins and needles until she is home. She's been licensed for a couple of months, she is a careful driver, etc., etc., but GAH.

I know this is definitely a Teen/Young Adult Parent Thing that has been coming, but it is my first time!

[abs]

Sept 4, 2024 17:49:28 GMT -5 livinitup said:

First day 11th grade happened over here today. She likes to be independent and I give her lots of credit that she is up and out for school on time. But god forbid I’m around or helping. Two years ago I didn’t get a first day of school photo because HOW HORRIBLE that would be. Last night, somebody asked “are you going to be here in the morning … you know … for the 1st day photo?”

Yes! I mean, sure, whatever. I’m not even allowed to be excited she wants a 1st day of school photo. Because that might frighten her like how bunny rabbits get frightened and run away.

I relate to this so so much. Sure DD. I mean if you want to do ___ it’s fine. Can’t show too much enthusiasm or she will immediately change her mind. Teens, lol.

[abs]

The teen roller coaster is always something. Right now things are good. Just got home from open house where her Spanish and Social Studies teachers raved about DD. Said they can count on her to participate and help out. Got to listen to the band and they sound fantastic. All her teachers seem great and it should be a good year. She seems very settled and happy right now so I am enjoying that while we can.

However I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop after getting blindsided last year with depression issues. Therapy and good friends really helped DD through it. Maybe I need to do the same!

[rubytue]

I don’t know why I’m in here. But, for those with teens with difficulty waking up, years ago, H mentioned that he had such a hard time waking up, his mom got an alarm clock intended for the hard of hearing. It had a vibrating pas that went under the mattress. And it apparently worked. And personally, I find my vibrating Apple Watch is better than any alarm clock I’ve ever had.

Signed,
The 50 year old who has never adapted to the adult world sleep schedules. Midnight to 7:30 is the best I can do.

[abs]

Sept 4, 2024 20:05:41 GMT -5 rubytue said:

I don’t know why I’m in here. But, for those with teens with difficulty waking up, years ago, H mentioned that he had such a hard time waking up, his mom got an alarm clock intended for the hard of hearing. It had a vibrating pas that went under the mattress. And it apparently worked. And personally, I find my vibrating Apple Watch is better than any alarm clock I’ve ever had.

Signed,
The 50 year old who has never adapted to the adult world sleep schedules. Midnight to 7:30 is the best I can do.

This is great advice. DD does better waking up to her vibrating Apple Watch, too. She doesn’t always hear her alarm because she’s a deep sleeper but can she feel it. I hate sleeping with my watch but need to try again because I’ve been having issues myself! Mornings are dumb in defense of all teenagers everywhere.

[dontlook]

I’m just here nodding my head at it all.

I know nothing. She wants my advice, but ewww, not that advice. She wants me close but not close at all. Can’t be too excited. Can’t chew too loud. If I’m quiet and trying not to poke the bear she will cry that I’m mad at her. Clothes and apps are some of our biggest fights. I’ve resulted to calling my mom (her beloved grandma) for reinforcement. Somehow when grandma says it it’s ok. 5 more years until college!

[gretchenindisguise]

Confessions of an Honest Toddler has been rebranded to Diary of an Honest Teenager and it's giving me life.

Example from yesterday:

Diary of an Honest Teenager:

Rule #357 When you drop me off at school, DON’T LINGER. Watching me from a distance is criminal, creepy, weird, unhinged behavior. I will call the authorities if you can’t control yourself. In the future, don’t even stop. Just slow the car down and I’ll roll out. Please go somewhere. If you call out my name or any instructions from the car again I will pursue immediate emancipation. Talking to me in front of my class? Just drop me off two blocks away from now on. The trust is BROKEN. You did this. 😡💔

Also what’s your door dash password I forgot my lunch

[AdaraMarie]

I don't have a story to add at the moment because typing is too much work, but my 11 and 14 year old girls are giving me a hard time and I feel this post very much.

[meganew]

My kid just turned 13 a few days ago and now I belong in here. ::cry, sob, throw up::

[mysteriouswife]

Hugs and love to all of us!

My brother calls the teenage years “sour patch kids.” He has 3. We were swapping war stories today. He told me tomorrow will be better and she will be sweet.

She did watch DS so H and I could go to Avril and Simple Plan tonight. ❤️

[cjcouple]

Sept 4, 2024 20:05:41 GMT -5 rubytue said:

I don’t know why I’m in here. But, for those with teens with difficulty waking up, years ago, H mentioned that he had such a hard time waking up, his mom got an alarm clock intended for the hard of hearing. It had a vibrating pas that went under the mattress. And it apparently worked. And personally, I find my vibrating Apple Watch is better than any alarm clock I’ve ever had.

Signed,
The 50 year old who has never adapted to the adult world sleep schedules. Midnight to 7:30 is the best I can do.

We had one of thise got my oldest.....it didn't work!! He still slept through.

But Im happy to report, He is now in college and he is getting up for his 8am MWF and 9:30 TuTh classes each day.

I just hope it sticks. 🤞

[bittybomb]

My kids go to a private high school about 20-25 minutes away. My freshman made the JV A soccer team. Their first game was yesterday at 4:30. she texts me in a panic at 3:11 that she left her uniform shorts gone. I’m at dunkin with her younger brother getting him some pumpkin spice latte bullshit to celebrate first day of school. And they’re being slow. I race home, grab the shorts and abandon my work for the day. She is texting me she needs them by 3:40. I get there at 3:44 and she’s strolling over to my car in her nearly identical color blue gym shorts. I tell her to hustle. She tells me coach said don’t rush. I sit there for the next 45 minutes waiting for the game because it doesn’t make sense to go home for 3 minutes. I had grabbed her high school pullover to show support during the game.

She says this morning as she throws it on what did you do to it? It’s all stre…. I was like are you seriously implying something right now. And she quickly realized and recovered by saying no I didn’t mean it was stretched out, it feels so cozy and it smells so nice. Thank you.

Man. Parenting teens is not for the sensitive.

[snapoutofit]

Sept 5, 2024 7:03:25 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

My kids go to a private high school about 20-25 minutes away. My freshman made the JV A soccer team. Their first game was yesterday at 4:30. she texts me in a panic at 3:11 that she left her uniform shorts gone. I’m at dunkin with her younger brother getting him some pumpkin spice latte bullshit to celebrate first day of school. And they’re being slow. I race home, grab the shorts and abandon my work for the day. She is texting me she needs them by 3:40. I get there at 3:44 and she’s strolling over to my car in her nearly identical color blue gym shorts. I tell her to hustle. She tells me coach said don’t rush. I sit there for the next 45 minutes waiting for the game because it doesn’t make sense to go home for 3 minutes. I had grabbed her high school pullover to show support during the game.

She says this morning as she throws it on what did you do to it? It’s all stre…. I was like are you seriously implying something right now. And she quickly realized and recovered by saying no I didn’t mean it was stretched out, it feels so cozy and it smells so nice. Thank you.

Man. Parenting teens is not for the sensitive.

. We had a similar situation for a travel baseball game where DS thought he needed one uniform but when we got there it was the other one. H had to drive back home and get the other one. And it was far. I made DS pack both uniforms for every single game after that. He was not happy about it but oh well. They can be such little jerks sometimes.

[bittybomb]

Sept 4, 2024 17:49:28 GMT -5 livinitup said:

First day 11th grade happened over here today. She likes to be independent and I give her lots of credit that she is up and out for school on time. But god forbid I’m around or helping. Two years ago I didn’t get a first day of school photo because HOW HORRIBLE that would be. Last night, somebody asked “are you going to be here in the morning … you know … for the 1st day photo?”

Yes! I mean, sure, whatever. I’m not even allowed to be excited she wants a 1st day of school photo. Because that might frighten her like how bunny rabbits get frightened and run away.

I have an 11th grader too. I was under strict orders to take the back to school photo inside by him and his 9th grade sister. Their bus stop is up the block and we have several sibling sets who live on our block who go to the same Catholic high school whose houses they pass. Last night they were all gasping “Jack and Izzy’s mom took their back to school picture OUTSIDE” (a senior and junior) 😱 and I was like “so did Conrad and Connor’s mom since I saw it on Facebook” and they were like 😱😱😱

Kids, man 🤣

[calamity]

Mine are 13 and 15 and OMG they are making me go gray so quickly.

PDQ-Found out that BOTH have snuck out before. DS actually told us about DD (and incriminated himself) but we can't tell her how we know. We are getting cameras and some of those chime door things. We told her some horrifying stories and hopefully have scared her straight.

Oh and DS left our house yesterday for a few hours with the doors unlocked and left the dogs in the back outside (fenced, but still!)

They are good kids in a lot of ways but holy shit this is stressful

[DotAndBuzz]

I feel like I'm parenting a different kid this year, as compared to last. In a good way.

11th grade now, and if last year was clawing our way through each week and face planting 3 inches short of the finish line every.single.week (she had so many health issues last year), this year feels like what I imagine "normal" should be. I think we've finally got her meds balance out, and her getting her license and the privilege of driving to school has exponentially changed her responsibility behavior. I told her being up and ready in time to leave for school, AND eat breakfast, was non-negotiable for being allowed to drive to school. And people.....SHE'S DOING IT. I'm not fighting the *type* of breakfast, because she's sitting at the table, eating food, with time to spare. Is it Nutella toast? Yes. Is it CALORIES? also yes, so not picking that battle.

I seriously feel like I've leveled up in parenting since she takes her sister with her to school. It's wild. Her sister is 13, and hasn't had the "difficult teen" time yet, so it may still come, but for now she's just the hilarious smart ass teen. Like, she told her sister last night (they were talking about dating long-distance): You know, you could just double dip. no one would know." They turned her head up to the sky and CACKLED. This kid cracks me up daily, and for now, I'm savoring this calm in a relative storm.

[gummybear]

Sighing in commiseration.
The soon-to-be 17 year old is actually quite lovely. She has always been "mature for her age" (and I am not using mature as a compliment) so I feel like the 13/14 years were our Superbowl of shittiness with her. last night she came into the library with her "friend" (NOT BOYFRIEND MOM IT ISN'T OFFICIAL) which was nice. However, after 2!!! days someone hit her new car in the school lot. All the juniors park together. a bunch of 16 year olds in cars with tiny spots. What could go wrong?

The 13 year old....this summer was rough. She is SO moody and just, IDK...glum? She was always such a sweet, happy, chatty kid. We've talked extensively and she swears she's not sad or depressed but man. I want my baby back. It's strange bc her sister was always a volatile, prickly, hard to manage kid so we never had the switch from sweet to scary that everyone talks about. So this is all new. The good news she was super happy and chatty after her first day of school and pretty much her old self so I am fairly certain she was just bored and lonely.

[raleighnc]

Sept 4, 2024 18:18:29 GMT -5 snapoutofit said:

DS is 15. Sweet, sweet boy. Agreeable. Lovey. CANNOT wake him up in the morning to save my ever loving mind. I have found no alarm clock that can wake him. No amount of hounding. He’s perfectly pleasant when he wakes up. Goes to bed between 8:30 and 10:00. No phone in his room. No caffeine after noon. Works out all the time. Plays sports. I’m at a loss.

I’ve also taken two weed vapes off him in the last few months. privileges have been removed. He’s just…I don’t know. He does have ADHD and anxiety. The anxiety is almost exclusively around school. His ADHD sx have been fairly well managed with therapy and parental support and an outstanding school counselor who adores him. We are not taking the possibility of meds off the table and revisit regularly. But I see a huge difference based on diet.

My girls take Jornay for ADHD, and it's delayed release so it starts working before they wake up in the morning. It's the only thing that allows them to wake up. Lots of kids with ADHD have sleep/wake up issues. My younger daughter has to take clonidine and hydroxyzine to fall/stay asleep.

And my DD1 with anxiety had a really hard time falling and staying asleep until she started meds. Now she is generally fine. Still has a hard time waking up to an alarm, but it's better.

And yes, the vaping can definitely be an attempt at self-medication as well as lack of impulse control. They're hardwired for substance issues with ADHD (and anxiety). I'm sure you know that, but I know a lot of people don't.