WWYD??

[wildrice]

The more I think about it, the more I amend my previous answer to say I would likely NOT ignore this - I would want to know what this was about! Even if it's totally innocent and you really did change his life in some way, I'd want to know so I could pat myself on the back, lol.

I think the exception would be a handful of people from my past who I truly want to leave in the past - but if it was someone I had generally liked or had positive interactions with I'd want to know.

That sucks he doesn't have social media though - that complicates things a lot! Do you have any mutual contacts other than your XH?

[TR]

Sept 24, 2024 12:38:01 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

I have to admit hearing "I would risk getting murdered to figure this out because I am just that fucking nosy" is making me feel seen lol

I’d be calling his mom’s house FO’ SHO’.

[fernweh]

I once saw a Ted Talk about lollipop moments “ that are essentially tiny moments that are so forgettable to you but are life changing to someone else. That’s what this made me think of.

That said I would probably keep the flowers and reach out if you can find him. I feel like if it was nefarious he would have tried something in the last 20 years.

[tacokick]

Someone who is not on social media seems exactly like the kind of person who would do this sort of thing.

I bet he calls instead of texting too.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Maybe he decided to keep on keepin on, per your advice, and it paid off?

[Roc A Bee]

I’d definitely keep the flowers. And also message him, and say something neutral about receiving the flowers and ask why.

[Nugget T. Brain, The OG]

Sept 24, 2024 13:01:01 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Maybe he decided to keep on keepin on, per your advice, and it paid off?

LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST, MA'AM.  LET US NOT RELIVE OUR MISTAKES. 

[mcsangel2]

This is giving me creepy incel vibes and there is negative a billion percent chance I would follow up on it.

[mcmel]

Sept 24, 2024 14:57:54 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

This is giving me creepy incel vibes and there is negative a billion percent chance I would follow up on it.

With the update I’m here.

[dexteroni]

Sept 24, 2024 15:50:26 GMT -5 mcmel said:

Sept 24, 2024 14:57:54 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

This is giving me creepy incel vibes and there is negative a billion percent chance I would follow up on it.

With the update I’m here.

Right? Nugget T. Brain, The OG the only logical next move is to hire someone to impersonate a gas company worker, have them show up at his mother’s house and say they have to check for gas leaks, and search every room to see if there’s a wall covered in pictures of you.

[marie]

Is there any chance he used this florist before and had your name/address saved on his profile? Maybe he selected the wrong “saved” contact for sending gifts? Super weird for sure!

[ellipses84]

Sept 24, 2024 12:34:34 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

He doesn't have a FB, both of my sisters are all over this and the one who is like a personal CIA agent and can find ANYONE hasn't been able to find anything on him other than an Insta with 10 posts that's locked.

She did find his address though and it looks like he's still living with his mom at the same place as when I last talked to him 20 years ago, so.....

This is so my oldest sister too. CIA level online sleuth. She clearly needs to create a Finsta that looks real and add his account.

[ellipses84]

Another thought, since it’s obviously a bold move to send flowers when you haven’t been in contact, don’t know if the person still lives there, don’t know they are divorced, etc. I once had a guy call my parent’s home phone out of the blue after we hadn’t talked for years. It’s because he’d been visiting a friend nearby and had to drive down their street, thought he saw me arriving in a car and decided to call. It actually wasn’t me, it was one of my sisters, who looks enough like me from a distance. There could be some non-nefarious reason he knows you still live there (he wasn’t stalking me, their house had great visibility and he had a really recognizable car).

[sadlebred]

I'd create a gmail account rather than using whatever primary email you use. That way you can delete it if he turns out to be creepy, and he doesn't have your actual email.

[sofamonkey]

Did you move? Or are you in the same place as when you were married?

[joy]

The message is so …generic. That’s what stands out to me. Like a greeting card: it can be sent to anyone.

Did the florist actually see the man in person? Did he come into the store? Was it a phone call? Can you actually know for sure it came from that man? Did this guy lose his credit card and havoc is being thrown around in his name? It’s a weird MO for a lost card or stolen wallet but I dunno. People are weeeeird.

Do you have any mutual friends? I’d put out some light feelers on what this guy is up to recently. Anything that would help this make sense.

[katieb4tom]

Sept 24, 2024 11:17:18 GMT -5 brooke77 said:

I’d ignore. It feels like a romantic gesture and icky. I might be way off base, but I’m imagining he somehow found out about the divorce and sent the flowers as a way to get a reaction. Maybe he doesn’t know your maiden name? No matter the reason, I wouldn’t respond. It’s too weird.

I agree with this.

[Bad Dingo]

This is super weird! Is it at all possible that your ex is somehow messing w/you?

[underwaterrhymes]

Sept 25, 2024 6:35:45 GMT -5 Bad Dingo said:

This is super weird! Is it at all possible that your ex is somehow messing w/you?

This is where my mind went also.

[cville]

I would never be able to let this go.

I see three main potential options here:

1. Awkward dude who crushed on you/perceived you as kind and wise and is thanking you for something you don't remember but meant a lot to him in the goofiest way possible.

2. Your ex or the hussy or someone else who sucks messing with you.

3. It's from him, and he's having a mental health incident.


I'd call the florist and find out if he called or came in person. If in person, I'd ask questions to help identify that he is the person who came in (i.e., it's not your ex or someone else messing with you). If he called, I'd ask if the name on the credit card used for payment matched the name signed to the written card. They probably won't be willing to tell you WHO if it wasn't the same, but that's another data point.

I'd continue having CIA sister work her magic, but if I knew someone in common with this dude who I trusted, I may reach out to them (after florist confirmatory activities) to see if they knew what he was up to and if he's OK. Which could then lead to I got these flowers and I'm confused.

[sonrisa]

I’d assume he sent them to me by mistake. That they were intended for someone with the same or similar first name,

Especially with an uncommon first name. All the more likely he’d assume the Bronia, Fredericka or Doretta whose address popped up was the right one.

(My maiden name is uncommon. Enough so that when you google it, google thinks I don’t exist and wants to auto correct to a more common spelling. I am literally the only one in the world with my married name since I just added a second last name to that rare maiden name. I’ve still been on the receiving end of mixed up emails people meant for someone else..)

[fangoriagurkel]

Sept 24, 2024 14:41:42 GMT -5 Nugget T. Brain, The OG said:

Sept 24, 2024 13:01:01 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Maybe he decided to keep on keepin on, per your advice, and it paid off?

LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST, MA'AM.  LET US NOT RELIVE OUR MISTAKES. 

Anytime I see the local news interview someone at what is clearly a gas station, I think of you.

(I am not a creep, i just have a good memory).

[Nugget T. Brain, The OG]

Minor update: sister texted my ex and was like "hey have you talked to Captain Creepy lately" and he was like "Nope, why?" She didn't tell him but there goes my hope that he either sent flowers to both of us or somehow remembered me by running into him.

Don't think it's the ex because it's not his style, he's extremely avoidant so he's probably been pretending I just don't exist.

BUT. CIA Sis found an email address. So now I'm considering shooting him an email like "Hey, sooooooo.....thanks?" But I dunno if I even want to open that channel of communication up.

MY BIGGEST DECISION THIS WEEK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IF I GO TO THE CAT SHOW ON SATURDAY OR SUNDAY NOT THIS SHIT.

[mcsangel2]

Don't do it, Nugget!

[Tacocat]

I would be dying to know why he sent the flowers but I also feel it’s super risky to open up communication with him via email. Seems so random after 20 years to reach out with flowers. Gives me a total creepy vibe.

[HRH Queen Dick I]

I just want an update on the Nugget Sister who charged admission to her wedding. Please and thank you.

[TR]

Make a new email and send it from that.

[heyyounotyouyou]

Sept 25, 2024 10:14:17 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

Don't do it, Nugget!

Bad advice lol. We want to know!! 

[Nugget T. Brain, The OG]

Sept 25, 2024 10:26:19 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

I just want an update on the Nugget Sister who charged admission to her wedding. Please and thank you.

GIRL. 

She moved and is still up to her shenanigans and tomfoolery, bless her heart.  

[sonrisa]

somehow I missed the post where you said you moved when I first read the tread.

The closest to this was when a high school friend of DH reached out to his parents out of the blue after decades of no contact. It was part of a psychotic break and he fixated on FIL as someone who could save him.

I’m sure that isn’t it. But after remembering that, I’m firmly in the ‘do not contact him/do t return the flowers/don’t acknowledge he exists’ camp.