Friday Randoms

[fernweh]

Most of my coworkers are in 1 of 3 European countries or Brazil. My last name is German I get asked all the time if I was born in/from Germany. I always explain that we have a lot of people with last names from other countries because we are historically a country almost completely made of immigrants.

When I explain that my husbands grandparents were immigrants from Germany and that’s where the name came from, I always get shock and confusion why H’s grandparents have anything to do with my last night. I never realized it wasn’t common for women to take their husband’s names in so many other countries.

[sent]

fernweh , I took my spouse's last name and now I wish I could undo it. I likely can't change it until I retire from my current work position because my professional license & billing is tied to the married name. At the time when I made the decision, I barely knew a handful of people who didn't take their spouse's last name. I felt like it would've somehow made me less committed to the family if I didn't change my name. Now 15 years later, I realize that the patriarchy was a very strong, invisible force that influenced my decision. Maybe those countries have been more equal toward women for a longer time now that it's normal for them to keep their names.

[scm1011]

I've been solo parenting all week while DH camps with his 6th graders in Northern Vermont. I know I have the better end of this deal but man am I looking forward to him coming home. He does a lot more around the house than I appreciate.

Today was stuffy day in DD's kindy class, which we forgot about until we got to school and saw all her classmates happily clutching their stuffies. Cue crumple face and tears. I sprinted the half mile home to grab a stuffy and then sprinted back. Crisis averted, but a chaotic start to the day. TGIF!

[lavenderblue]

I feel so bad for my kids, especially my daughter. Not only have they had to cut their abuse father out of their lives, but now their Grandmother. I'm not surprised that the Grandmother has taken his side in all of this, but my daughter begged her to stay out of it to try and maintain their relationship (Grandmother use to be DDs most favorite person in the world) but now today she had to make the choice to cut her out and block her as well. It breaks my heart.

[Jalapeñomel]

I got superintendent approval to do a trip to Iceland over spring break 2026 for 30 juniors and seniors.

[candreco]

I had a hyphenated maiden name that being a less common situation when I was growing up I wanted to get rid of; otherwise I would have kept my name when I got married.

Glad it's Friday, but the weekend is jammed packed with DD's theatre fall fest, DS's soccer game, my mom's birthday, and all the myriad weekend chores and errands, and we're still likely going to have to skip things like church stuff on Sunday. I am dying for DH to get home; he was home for the first week of school in late August, then one week mid-Sept, and otherwise has been OOT for work. Every time we talk it's another two weeks. My job is also insanely busy right now and I am just exhausted :/

[ssmjlm]

I’m waiting for them to take blood. The estimated bill is $900 before insurance. I have no idea what tests my Gastro requested, but damn. Thankful for my ridiculously expensive insurance I guess.

ETA: 8 vials of blood 😳

[lilypad1126]

I have a cold and I'd rather be on the couch napping than working. But I have a bunch of deadlines today, so I guess the nap is going to have to wait. Blah.

[NewGirlNic]

Finally Friday. It's been a long week. 

I'm alone today, since H is in the office. His usual in office day is Wednesday, but for some reason they are now doing every 5th Friday in office (and that week he stays home Wednesday)

I wanted to grab a coffee from my favorite coffee shop. It's usually my Friday treat after I drop DS at school, as it's on the way home. But since H was heading downtown, he took DS to school. I procrastinated too much and now I have back to back to back calls from 10-12 and another at 1. Afternoon coffee and I don't get along (I'll never sleep) so I guess I'm drinking coffee from home today. 

My grandma is in the hospital. She's been sick with a "cold" for almost 2 weeks and wasn't getting better. My mom said she wasn't eating and was staying in bed all day. On Wednesday my dad called her doctor and he told him to take her to the ER for a chest xray as he thought she might have pneumonia. Since my grandma has a hard time getting around on a good day, there was no way my dad was going to get her in the car on his own, so he called an ambulance to take her. (she lives in an attached in-law apartment with my parents) They admitted her since her oxygen levels were low. No pneumonia, but she did test positive for Covid. No clue where she could have picked that up, since she never leaves the house and my parents have been healthy. Unless one of them had it without symptoms. I just talked to my dad and her vitals are all good and have been since yesterday afternoon, so they might release her today. I'm relieved, because at 94 I wasn't sure she'd recover from it. 

[Jalapeñomel]

I hated my maiden name, so I was glad to see it go.

[scm1011]

I regret changing my last name. DH didn't pressure me at all but I just did it because it seemed like what you were supposed to do. Its not a huge deal, but if I could go back in time I'd keep my maiden name.

[bbdoll]

Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I like the tradition of taking my husband's name. It never occurred to me to want to keep my maiden name.

[beerlover]

Yay for Friday. DS is off today and I didn't realize that and scheduled an oil change for H's car, so we got breakfast at a McDonald's next door and now I'm working from the dealer while he's on his iPad. Hopefully we'll be done soon; its chilly in here.

H has some paper he's trying to finish so I don't know what we'll do tonight, if anything. If he has to work on that, maybe I'll invite a friend over to drink some wine or something. Tomorrow, we have a housewarming party at 6pm so we're getting a sitter for that for a bit. At some point this weekend we're going to take our boat out for a last cruise and winterize it, too.

[midwestmama]

TGIF!! It's been a long week.

My maiden name is German, and for some reason, lots of people would pronounce the "ei" in my name as a long A or long E sound instead of the correct long I sound. (It always surprised me a bit, since pretty much everyone knows how to pronounce Budweiser, especially anyone who was in the US in the 90s and watched TV - the Budweiser frogs ad literally pronounced every syllable, so it was pretty clear the "ei" is a long I sound.)  So when I met DH, who has a last name is that pronounced exactly how it is spelled (it's an English or Scottish name, so that makes it easier too), I was happy to take his name. When we visited Germany in 2023, I was on a mission to find my maiden name somewhere. I did finally see it in Frankfurt, towards the end of our trip, and it was on a dumpster outside of an office, lol.

Should be a pretty low-key weekend. We're going to the HS varsity football tonight (except DD, who is going to a haunted forest with friends). The weather is supposed to be amazing (for October in MI), so I'll be trying to get outside as much as I can.

[Susie]

I did change my last name when I got married, but I bumped maiden to middle and dropped the middle.

Then I gave DS my maiden last name as his middle, so he and I 'match'.  I kind of like that.  DD is named after her two grandmothers, so I don't regret that per se, but I kind of wish I'd given her my maiden name as a middle name too.

[cville]

My election anxiety is through the roof.

So I've taken up sudoku. I am very very bad at it.

[TR]

I have what I think is a pinched nerve and am finally going to the doctor today. Just seeing my PCP at first. I've had the pain since mid-August and enough is enough.

Today I also woke up with the whole "one eye is bloodshot" thing that has now happened 3 times. Each time it doesn't hurt, burn, itch, weep, crust, or anything. Just my right eye bloodshot and the past two times it's been better by the following evening. Don't know what it is.

Add in my stomach issues acting up more than usual for the last couple of months and apparently my 40s are for falling apart.

[emilyinchile]

Within the context of US culture (and others where it applies!), I totally see why people take their partners' last name, and I likely would have. From the perspective of a culture where that isn't the norm, it really is weird. In a place like Chile where people have two last names the kids have both parents' anyway.

[cville]

Also. I use MS Planner to track tasks, including flagged emails. When you check a task it makes a chime sound. I am Pavlov's dog because I LOVE the chime and it fills me with a sense of accomplishment.

If you delete an email that's flagged, the task disappears from the list with NO CHIME. So I frequency will click out of email, go click the task in Planner so I can hear the chime, then go delete the email.

No, I'm not an extrinsically motivated grade grubber, why would you ask that?

[cville]

Oct 18, 2024 9:23:38 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Within the context of US culture (and others where it applies!), I totally see why people take their partners' last name, and I likely would have. From the perspective of a culture where that isn't the norm, it really is weird. In a place like Chile where people have two last names the kids have both parents' anyway.

I'm a mostly conventional boring married mom. So not taking my husband's last name makes me feel a tiny bit like the rebellious iconoclast I wish I was. Sad to know I'd be normal outside of the US. If I move, I'll have to get a really wild haircut or something.

[circa1978]

Does anyone have a automatic ball thrower for their dog and/or can recommend one? Our terrier poodle mix is a fetch machine and can literally keep going until one or both of us collapses. I think she'd love it but they are kind of $$ for a dog toy when, as my husband points out, she already has designated "fetching hours" first thing in the morning and in the evening after dinner.

ETA: I also want a doggie DNA kit for her because our retriever doesn't retrive this aggressively and something else has to be in there, so more $$.

[wildrice]

I am so excited to NOT have guests this weekend! I had people staying here the last two weekends and while I had a lot of fun and very much appreciated that they made the effort to come visit me, two weekends in a row was a LOT and I need some downtime. We are going to a beer festival at the zoo tomorrow, but otherwise I have no plans and can't wait. Depending on how I feel I may go for a hike on Sunday, but I may also just stay in my pajamas all day and do nothing.

I took my H's last name. I took my XH's, too. I regretted it with my first marriage - even before we divorced - but it just felt right with my current H, and I haven't regretted it. Especially since we don't have kids, I feel like it helps signify that we're a family unit. I can definitely see the case for keeping your own name, but I also feel like if there is one thing I've learned from changing my name 3x (lol) it's that none of it really matters all that much. It has also solidified my stance that if someone wants to change their name for gender reasons, it's really not that hard for people to get used to calling you something different if they just try a little bit!

[followyourarrow]

When I got married I took exH's last name. Being in rural Kansas in my early 20's, it never crossed my mind not too. When I got divorced I didn't go back to my maiden because of issues with my father and his family, plus I was adopted by him and he and his family always made a big thing about how I wasn't one of them. I never dreamt I'd be single for 12 years and keep exH's last name so long. I do plan to take FI's last name, but it's mostly to get rid of exH's last name. FI and I have talked about both changing our name, but that seems complicated. His last name is a really complicated German last name.

[tacokick]

Oct 18, 2024 9:00:13 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I hated my maiden name, so I was glad to see it go.

Me too! I am pro letting the best name win. My married name sounds a millions times better and is more memorable.

I have friends who made up a new last name and they share that.

[lavenderblue]

On the conversation of changing names, I always felt like it was the "traditional" thing to do. When I got divorced the first time, I kept my married name because of my kids and it drove my exH insane. He use to beg me to change it and even offered to pay, so eventually I kept it out of spite. Then again I took my husbands name when I got married the second time, because, tradition. This time, the ink was barely dry on my divorce papers when I changed back to my maiden name. And if I'm ever stupid enough to get married again, I'll be keeping my maiden name, because now, at almost 50 years old, eff tradition

[circa1978]

I hyphenated my name and regret it. We have our 17th anniversary next week and I wish I'd just taken his name. I didn't at the time because I was a reporter and my byline meant something to me. LOFL.

[HRH Queen Dick I]

I have reached the 7 day pill case stage of my life.

[hermione]

My kid has pneumonia. The doctor wants her to do child’s pose several times a day to help her lungs. Quincy is helping.

[maudefindlay]

I hate to like your post hermione, but that is super sweet. Hope your DD is well soon, pneumonia is so hard on the body.

[ssmjlm]

My first name and maiden name started with S, so as a kid who was always in the back, I wished to marry someone with a last name in the first half. I got to M 😂