Friday Randoms

[sometimesrunner]

Oct 18, 2024 9:10:54 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I regret changing my last name. DH didn't pressure me at all but I just did it because it seemed like what you were supposed to do. Its not a huge deal, but if I could go back in time I'd keep my maiden name.

Same. I really liked my maiden name. I should have kept it. 

DD asked me to eat lunch with her today, so I get the pleasure of eating McDonalds today for lunch. Ugh. I know the days where she wants me around are limited, so I'm going to enjoy hanging out with her at lunch, despite her poor choice in fast food.

[glw]

I'm maxed out on my vacation day accrual again so I'm trying to find random days to take off.
I decided to take off the day after Halloween to stay in my PJs, watch spooky movies, drink champagne and eat leftover candy. I invited a new friend to join me and she said yes! I'm pumped.

[mrsslocombe]

I told my husband I was born with this name and I intended to die with it. He was not surprised I didn't change it and he didn't care.

It's def the norm in my industry for people to keep their name when they get married, it always takes me by surprise when someone announces a name change, just because 99% of jobs are done by referral and changes your name really fucks things up.

[Vespasia]

Oct 18, 2024 9:43:41 GMT -5 tacokick said:

Me too! I am pro letting the best name win. 

One of my HS friend's maiden name was Dragon and she changed it to something more like Smith when she got married. I have never quite forgiven her. 


I think I would have changed my name if I got married younger but by the time I did I had been working with primarily female academics and not changing it felt more natural. I also don't love MH's last name and am quite attached to both my last name and my middle name, which is my grandmother's maiden name. 

[fernweh]

Oct 18, 2024 9:10:54 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I regret changing my last name. DH didn't pressure me at all but I just did it because it seemed like what you were supposed to do. Its not a huge deal, but if I could go back in time I'd keep my maiden name.

Honestly, I regret it too. I LOVE my maiden name and miss it so much. I got married young - 23 and I mentioned keeping my maiden name. H didn’t pressure me to change it basically said he would like me to but ultimately it’s my decision. My dad on the other hand pressured me to change it because “you can’t truly bond as a family if you don’t share a family name” which now in my elder wisdom is very WTF and I resent but I can’t go back in time.
It’s also shocking because my dad has always very much been supportive of me and raised me to be independent and believe I could do anything I wanted but that was a very misogynistic take on the last name.

[wildrice]

Oct 18, 2024 10:11:08 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

My first name and maiden name started with So as a kid who was always in the back, I wished to marry someone with a last name in the first half. I got to M 😂

My H and I both have the same first three letters of our original names, so even with changing my name I did not move in the alphabet AT ALL. Our name starts with an R so it's pretty late!

Fun fact, my married name has all the same letters as my maiden name, in the same order, but with removing some of the letters from my maiden name. When we first got married I thought I was hilarious when I just crossed out some of the letters on the name plate on my door at work. 

[bears]

Oct 18, 2024 9:10:54 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I regret changing my last name. DH didn't pressure me at all but I just did it because it seemed like what you were supposed to do. Its not a huge deal, but if I could go back in time I'd keep my maiden name.

I hyphenated and wish I didn't. I would have rather kept my name as-is

[mpc]

Oct 18, 2024 9:19:05 GMT -5 midwestmama said:

My maiden name is German, and for some reason, lots of people would pronounce the "ei" in my name as a long A or long E sound instead of the correct long I sound. (It always surprised me a bit, since pretty much everyone knows how to pronounce Budweiser, especially anyone who was in the US in the 90s and watched TV - the Budweiser frogs ad literally pronounced every syllable, so it was pretty clear the "ei" is a long I sound.)  So when I met DH, who has a last name is that pronounced exactly how it is spelled (it's an English or Scottish name, so that makes it easier too), I was happy to take his name. When we visited Germany in 2023, I was on a mission to find my maiden name somewhere. I did finally see it in Frankfurt, towards the end of our trip, and it was on a dumpster outside of an office, lol.

My maiden name is German with an "ei" too. Yes to people always pronouncing it like a long E when it is really a long I. My biggest problem though was it seriously messed me up as a kid when it came to the "i before e" rule. Like, my own name didn't follow the rule, how was I supposed to get it right for other words. 

I miss my maiden name sometimes. It is very uncommon even in Germany, so if you ever meet someone with that name they are somehow related to me. 

[erbear]

I changed my name. My maiden name was tough for kids to pronounce (I'm a teacher) so I was always Miss A anyway, but I do miss having the same name as my family. But I'm down with my married name too, and I took my maiden name as my middle name so I still have it somewhat. I did got from an A to a T though. Sigh.

This is truly random -- I am being inducted into my high school's Athletics Hall of Fame tomorrow. I have been out of high school for 30 years...why now? Also, I was a first team all state field hockey and soccer player -- the first ever in school history -- but I am being inducted for...basketball. Which I played, sure, but it was a throw away sport and I wasn't that good at it. I have questions.

[noodleoo]

I knew I would never change my name, I’ve never bought into that patriarchal tradition. H did pressure me and I’m like “have you met me?”. I was honestly surprised he thought I’d change it. I also gave the kids my last name as their middles. I kind of wish I’d just hyphenated their last name since no one uses it.

DD2 has been sick all week with a virus. The fever finally broke, but now DD1 is sick. I’m so bummed. It’s going to be a gorgeous weekend and we had so many plans (3 parties, trunk or treat and a babysitter so H and I could celebrate our anniversary from back in August!). 😔 She’s going to have a meltdown when she realizes everything she’s going to miss. I feel so bad for her (and me, I was looking forward to all this stuff too.)

[glw]

I've never been attached to my name (first or last). Maybe it's because my first name is so often misspelled or mispronounced, but I've always been meh-- it's just a sound you make to get my attention; as long as I know you're talking to me, I don't care what you call me!

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 18, 2024 10:11:08 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

My first name and maiden name started with So as a kid who was always in the back, I wished to marry someone with a last name in the first half. I got to M 😂

I felt this way too! I had a W and upgraded to a B! 

[bex1973]

Oct 18, 2024 11:02:40 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Oct 18, 2024 10:11:08 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

My first name and maiden name started with So as a kid who was always in the back, I wished to marry someone with a last name in the first half. I got to M 😂

I felt this way too! I had a W and upgraded to a B! 

I went from an A to an S.... womp, womp

[lilypad1126]

I always thought I would change my name when I got married. My name is hard for people to pronounce and spell, which is dumb b/c it's just exactly as it looks. But people like to add extra vowels for some reason. Then, I didn't get married until I was 30 and by then I was just like, eh it's too much work.

Anyway, people assume I changed my name and call my H Mr. MyLastname and it makes us both laugh. I don't have any particular attachment to my last name, I'm just overall too lazy to do anything about it.

[gretchenindisguise]

I've been telling H for months he needs to see someone for his anxiety. Yada yada yada he finally started blood pressure and anxiety medicine this week and he's already noticing a difference. I am so relieved and also irritated he didn't do it months ago. Hopefully this helps him come back and be more present in our lives again.

[maudefindlay]

Fall Break here still since last Friday. Yesterday and today while DS1 ran at cross country practice I did a run/walk workout on the track. Feels good to have that finished for the day. DD and I are going on a walk in a bit to look at some houses all decorated for Halloween, I need to do my strength workout, and I have some yard work to do as well. Tonight I'm parking it on the couch with wine!

[midwestmama]

Oct 18, 2024 10:34:38 GMT -5 mpc said:

Oct 18, 2024 9:19:05 GMT -5 midwestmama said:

My maiden name is German, and for some reason, lots of people would pronounce the "ei" in my name as a long A or long E sound instead of the correct long I sound. (It always surprised me a bit, since pretty much everyone knows how to pronounce Budweiser, especially anyone who was in the US in the 90s and watched TV - the Budweiser frogs ad literally pronounced every syllable, so it was pretty clear the "ei" is a long I sound.)  So when I met DH, who has a last name is that pronounced exactly how it is spelled (it's an English or Scottish name, so that makes it easier too), I was happy to take his name. When we visited Germany in 2023, I was on a mission to find my maiden name somewhere. I did finally see it in Frankfurt, towards the end of our trip, and it was on a dumpster outside of an office, lol.

My maiden name is German with an "ei" too. Yes to people always pronouncing it like a long E when it is really a long I. My biggest problem though was it seriously messed me up as a kid when it came to the "i before e" rule. Like, my own name didn't follow the rule, how was I supposed to get it right for other words. 

I miss my maiden name sometimes. It is very uncommon even in Germany, so if you ever meet someone with that name they are somehow related to me. 

Totally understand with more unique last names.  It is pretty to cool to have a name where you know someone else with the same last name is a relation of some sort.  I have done some genealogy research here and there, and found that the maiden name of one of my 5x great grandmas was anglicized after the family immigrated to New Amsterdam (NYC).  They came from the Netherlands, and they anglicized their name to Longstreet.  Apparently, people with that last name/ancestors with that last name can trace their ancestry to this one family (according to a short biography I found).  And yes, that means I am distantly related to the Civil War general James Longstreet; he and one of my ancestors shared a grandfather, or something like that.  Sad that he chose the wrong side to fight for.  (Coincidentally, my one of my 3x great grandpas who fought in the Civil War (and we (my mom's family) still own the land he received as payment for his service) for the North/USA was married to the ancestor related to Longstreet.)

[midwestmama]

Oct 18, 2024 11:09:17 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Oct 18, 2024 11:02:40 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I felt this way too! I had a W and upgraded to a B! 

I went from an A to an S.... womp, womp

I went from G to H, so not too bad. 

[penguingrrl]

I took H last name because I was so glad to get rid of my jerk father’s name. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken his name. My mom was upset I was doing that because she felt it wasn’t feminist until I said that the other option was to take her name (she went back after the divorce). In HS I had asked her to legally change my last name to hers and she wouldn’t because she felt it was wrong to do yo my dad. Had she done that I would have kept it and given it to my kids. Especially since the name officially will die ott it after this generation.

[pinkdutchtulips]

We have a site visit today at *fingers crossed* Miss R's eventual school for this year. I am NOT thrilled with how slow this process has been or the hit her mental health has taken over it but all things considered this is the most comprehensive solution to get her back into the classroom. 

[underwaterrhymes]

I still think it would have been fun to take the middle part of my maiden name and the last part H’s last name and made a whole new last name.

[maudefindlay]

pinkdutchtulips I hope this all works out.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I never took my xh's last name. He had ZERO attachment to it and understood that I had an attachment to mine so he let me decide. It was crazy to me given how controlling he was that letting me decide what to do w. my last name upon marriage was mindblowing. I kept mine. Miss R got his and we've had different last names her entire existence.

The wild part is that even has a little girl, I had ZERO desire to change my last name when I married. I'd either add on or not take his last name. Now that the subject of remarriage is getting louder, so is the discussion about my last name. I could do a multitude of things including keeping my maiden professionally (bc that's all I've gone by in 20+ years in law) or moving it to a second middle name or hyphenating. He wants me to take his but I can't give up my own. Ugh.

[circa1978]

Oct 18, 2024 11:39:52 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I still think it would have been fun to take the middle part of my maiden name and the last part H’s last name and made a whole new last name.

My husband has friends where they hyphenated and both took the new name. It's been 17 years and I still remember how much my mom, who addressed our wedding invitations, was all "new york city hipsters" about it when she's generally quite liberal. She didn't have a problem with me hyphenating MY name but that was apparently a step too far?

[pinkdutchtulips]

Oct 18, 2024 11:40:16 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

pinkdutchtulips I hope this all works out.

me too bc this would help minimize a multitude of issues and put her on excellent footing for school next year. 

[jane6672]

Oct 18, 2024 11:39:52 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I still think it would have been fun to take the middle part of my maiden name and the last part H’s last name and made a whole new last name.

I have a coworker that just got married and did this.

[Scout'sHonor]

I also had a hyphenated maiden name (since my mom didn't change hers) and it consisted of one long unpronounceable German and one short German name. I happily changed to my H's phonetic name.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

My husband told me right around our tenth anniversary that he wishes he’d taken my maiden name. I was so annoyed be I felt pressured into taking his name— by him, ugh. But Lucy uses my last name for her artwork so it lives on, kinda

[TR]

I currently have 16 library books checked out. This is a problem.

[eddy]

I took my husband's name because I had a unique first name and unique maiden name. I spent my whole life having to repeat and respell it to others just for them to get it wrong lol. The idea that I would only have to spell my first name to strangers was very appealing. I am that lazy. :-)

But I wish I would have changed my maiden to my middle name. That is what my sister did and that seemed to be the power move.