are you sure you aren't just wanting everything nownownow because it seems like the next big thing now that school is over?
you are free and happy and in love now. enjoy it! you will have your entire life for parenting and married life. this is the only time you get to enjoy being engaged.
I know it is insane to feel this way. Well over half of my graduating class of 400-500 has a husband or kid by now. Seeing all these weddings and babies just gives me marriage/baby fever. I'm happy that I chose the career path, but I'm still not happy. I'm just at that awkward place in life where I still want to be young and fun, but everyone else my age is settled down.
Meh, your current job will last longer than half of those marriages. Seriously - enjoy things now. You live with your FI and share a life together. If you can really look at your life and say you are unhappy now, a wedding won't change that. BE young and fun, lol!
I know very few women who love their weight. Skinny or fat or in between. I think nearly everyone is insecure. I would take being skinny over being fat, but I've never been skinny so I don't know what it's like. Even though I'm guilty of it too, I find it annoying when people complain about their weight, period. Either accept who you are/what your body is like, or do something to change it. If you can't change it, then that's the hand you're dealt and no amount of complaining will make that change so why waste your time feeling bad about it and complaining about it?
I guess my flameful today would be that a friend of mine just broke up with her fiance. Her fiance has a daughter (I think 4th grade?) from a past relationship where the mother isn't involved at all. My friend has been a "mom" for the last 5+ years and the girl calls her mom, etc. I guess since they broke up there hasn't been much talk about maintaining a relationship with the daughter. I'm trying to keep an open mind and I really like my friend and think she's a smart person so I assume there is more to the story I haven't heard yet. But I'm really feeling heartbroken for the little girl who loses her 2nd mom in this breakup (and her dog, too). I hope that her dad and "mom" are making her a priority in this. I understand if my friend wants to walk away - and I don't know how viable a long term "mom" relationship in this circumstance is anyway - but I think the whole situation sucks and I'm really sad for them.
I've never had a vaginal orgasm. I don't think I'm capable of them. I do, however, have very long clitoral orgasms. Like one orgasm can go for 30+ minutes if I want it to. Apparently this is unusual, as I learned the other day on ML.
Also, I hate when people think I can't have an opinion about kids BC I don't have one. I never claimed to know what it is like to be a mom, but damn it...I have my opinion too
" YOU " don't deserve a medal for popping out a child
When DH and I were dating we went to a strip club for my friends 19th birthday. We were sitting in "perverts row", an the stripper came over to us an whispered something in DH's ear, an then smiled at me. I thought this was weird but I soon forgot about it.
Later that night while driving home DH pulled into a parking lot. (It was 2-3am) we had sex in his truck. After the sex he asked if I wanted to know what the stripper said. I said sure.
"She made me promise to "get you off" tonight, mission accomplished!" He said with a huge grin on his face.
As we left the parking lot I noticed a motorhome parked in the corner of the parking lot. He was giving DH the thumbs up signal.
I was so embarrassed. This was not something that I even did before DH can along. Since then we make a "date" of it at least once a year!
Confession: I pulled out $100 cash to go to an art show 2 weeks ago. I didn't end up buying anything there. Instead I have eaten lunch out too many times to count. Now my money is almost gone and I feel guilty...
Random: A new-ish girl at work isn't pulling her weight. She's holding me and my boss back. I know they'll let her go, but I hope it's sooner rather than later. She's dead weight.
Random: DH started (another) new job yesterday. I really hope he can stick with this one for awhile. He was instant gratification easily gets frustrated when things aren't immediate. In order for us to take the next step I need him in a secure position.
And thanks, all. I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I just haven't told anybody else, and H's reaction today wasn't what I was expecting, so I needed to re-vent it, heh.
I love that Bliss's complaints are that she's too skinny and orgasms too easily. LOLOLOL.
She also probably thinks that other women don't like her because she is so skinny and attractive and that is why all of her friends are men.
I just want to interrupt this thread the thank Bliss for not even bothering to change her behavior along with her screen name. I appreciate immediately knowing the new screen name isn't worth my time. Now back to your regularly schedule thread.
I went camping with a large bunch of old friends I hadn't seen in years this weekend (mostly guys, only two other girls involved that weren't the "plus 1 of a guy"). DH had to work. While I wanted him to come and get to hang out with my friends more, I'm glad he wasn't there--I could get wasted and geez with them without worrying if he was having fun or not.
I don't understand how it's so difficult to believe that "skinny" women can have body images too. Or is it not that, but that you just don't think they have a right to express their issues with it..
Bliss, It probably seems like people are ganging up on you but honestly, I have seen you express many times that you have such a "hot bod", "perfect 10". You can see why people would side-eye your sudden lack of confidence. Not that you would be the first to overcompensate for a lack of confidence otherwise.
I wish H was smaller in girth. I've never told anyone this except H. For this reason, he has not had a BJ since before we were married 5 years ago. Hurts my jaws. He understands so he doesn't mind.
I had the same problem with H until I read a post on the nest. I lurked one time at the Sex and Romance board. There was a thread where someone gave very specific directions on how to give a BJ, what to do if girth is an issue.
H was very surprised, shocked and very pleased with my performance. LOL. ;D
I am going back to work next week when LO is 10 weeks even though I get 12 weeks off. I'm missing structure and a schedule and feel like I may get depressed if I don't get back soon. Ive never had depression but I feel like I could be heading down that path. I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM. I know friends and family are judging me but I'm more concerned with my sanity than their opinions.
I exclusively BF for 10 months last time with my first and never really enjoyed it. This time I am having trouble losing the last 10 pounds and part of me wants to quit BFing and go on my hard core protein diet, which is the way I've had success losing weight in the past. I can't diet as much while BFing so I want to quit. What a dumb and selfish reason.
Overall I just feel like a selfish mom but I'd rather be selfish and avoid depression than suffer.
I don't understand how it's so difficult to believe that "skinny" women can have body images too. Or is it not that, but that you just don't think they have a right to express their issues with it..
Bliss, It probably seems like people are ganging up on you but honestly, I have seen you express many times that you have such a "hot bod", "perfect 10". You can see why people would side-eye your sudden lack of confidence. Not that you would be the first to overcompensate for a lack of confidence otherwise.
Meh, I'm used to the gang ups.
I have to agree with your first statement though. Because I'm skinny it's like I'm not allowed to have fat/i hate my body days. Sure I've said I have a hot bod, but that doesn't mean that I don't have days that I hate it too. Or that I ultimately dislike my body but suck it up because it's what I've got. The whole, fake it til you make it thing.
It's not a sudden lack of confidence. It's that I'm just not happy with my body and if I could change it I would. Or rather, I'm working on a changing it, but not getting my desired results. Doesn't mean that I don't love bits and pieces of my body; I have great legs and a six pack. I try not to complain too much. But I hate when people assume that because I'm skinny I'm completely comfortable in my own skin. I'm not.
I agree! I loved my days of being a rail without trying at all. I am curious about what sucks about it.
What sucks? Well, clothes don't fit me, I look like a child, and everyone thinks it's awesome to be "super skinny". Oh and random strangers tell me I need to eat more. People ask me if I have an eating disorder. People assume I do drugs. And comments like these; like because I'm skinny I'm not allowed to be upset/annoyed/uncomfortable by it. My feelings aren't valid because I'm suppose to LOVE being skinny.
Just because I'm skinny doesn't mean I'm comfortable in my body or enjoy being skinny. It may be awesome to you but when your body doesn't change from 15 to 25 it's a little depressing.
Well here's something I never expected to say: I agree with Bliss. (ETA: Wait! Only with the above statements. Not with all the subsequent craziness.)
I remember when I got my first "real" job and had to buy suits for it. I went to several stores, the last of which was Petite Sophisticate. Nothing fit. It was all too big in various areas. I was in tears in the dressing room. I pulled myself together, went out and the saleslady asked how they fit. I said that they were all too big. She goes, "Oh, I wish I had that problem."
Thanks, bitch. I started a new job two days ago and was told to buy suits pronto. I can't f'ing find one that fits.
I don't miss those days. And I don't miss people saying to me, when I was in my mid-twenties, "Oh, you look about 12!"
What sucks? Well, clothes don't fit me, I look like a child, and everyone thinks it's awesome to be "super skinny". Oh and random strangers tell me I need to eat more. People ask me if I have an eating disorder. People assume I do drugs. And comments like these; like because I'm skinny I'm not allowed to be upset/annoyed/uncomfortable by it. My feelings aren't valid because I'm suppose to LOVE being skinny.
Just because I'm skinny doesn't mean I'm comfortable in my body or enjoy being skinny. It may be awesome to you but when your body doesn't change from 15 to 25 it's a little depressing.
Well here's something I never expected to say: I agree with Bliss. (ETA: Wait! Only with the above statements. Not with all the subsequent craziness.)
I remember when I got my first "real" job and had to buy suits for it. I went to several stores, the last of which was Petite Sophisticate. Nothing fit. It was all too big in various areas. I was in tears in the dressing room. I pulled myself together, went out and the saleslady asked how they fit. I said that they were all too big. She goes, "Oh, I wish I had that problem."
Thanks, bitch. I started a new job two days ago and was told to buy suits pronto. I can't f'ing find one that fits.
I don't miss those days. And I don't miss people saying to me, when I was in my mid-twenties, "Oh, you look about 12!"
Ok, I really don't want to get into the fat v. skinny people wars but come on. You make it sound like someone of "average" size can easily walk into a store and wear something. That's ridiculous.
Every woman is built different. I'm a "normal" size but I have a huge ass and I'm as tall as a lawn gnome. When something doesn't fit right you know what I do? I go to a tailor. Done. No self loathing, no bemoaning my gnome-like stature and curves. I mean, I recall most stores didn't even carry short and tall sizes in pants, for example, until maybe 10 years ago?
Can we all just agree buying clothes sucks and move on?
Well here's something I never expected to say: I agree with Bliss. (ETA: Wait! Only with the above statements. Not with all the subsequent craziness.)
I remember when I got my first "real" job and had to buy suits for it. I went to several stores, the last of which was Petite Sophisticate. Nothing fit. It was all too big in various areas. I was in tears in the dressing room. I pulled myself together, went out and the saleslady asked how they fit. I said that they were all too big. She goes, "Oh, I wish I had that problem."
Thanks, bitch. I started a new job two days ago and was told to buy suits pronto. I can't f'ing find one that fits.
I don't miss those days. And I don't miss people saying to me, when I was in my mid-twenties, "Oh, you look about 12!"
Ok, I really don't want to get into the fat v. skinny people wars but come on. You make it sound like someone of "average" size can easily walk into a store and wear something. That's ridiculous. Every woman is built different. I'm a "normal" size but I have a huge ass and I'm as tall as a lawn gnome. When something doesn't fit right you know what I do? I go to a tailor. Done. No self loathing, no bemoaning my gnome-like stature and curves. I mean, I recall most stores didn't even carry short and tall sizes in pants, for example, until maybe 10 years ago?
Can we all just agree buying clothes sucks and move on?
I think that's a great point. I am happy to agree that buying clothes sucks.
Well here's something I never expected to say: I agree with Bliss. (ETA: Wait! Only with the above statements. Not with all the subsequent craziness.)
I remember when I got my first "real" job and had to buy suits for it. I went to several stores, the last of which was Petite Sophisticate. Nothing fit. It was all too big in various areas. I was in tears in the dressing room. I pulled myself together, went out and the saleslady asked how they fit. I said that they were all too big. She goes, "Oh, I wish I had that problem."
Thanks, bitch. I started a new job two days ago and was told to buy suits pronto. I can't f'ing find one that fits.
I don't miss those days. And I don't miss people saying to me, when I was in my mid-twenties, "Oh, you look about 12!"
Ok, I really don't want to get into the fat v. skinny people wars but come on. You make it sound like someone of "average" size can easily walk into a store and wear something. That's ridiculous.
Every woman is built different. I'm a "normal" size but I have a huge ass and I'm as tall as a lawn gnome. When something doesn't fit right you know what I do? I go to a tailor. Done. No self loathing, no bemoaning my gnome-like stature and curves. I mean, I recall most stores didn't even carry short and tall sizes in pants, for example, until maybe 10 years ago?
Can we all just agree buying clothes sucks and move on?
No because it's not about buying clothes that sucks as a skinny person. It's the whole notion that because I'm skinny I'm not allowed to complain about it. I'm suppose to be happy with the way my body is because it's skinny. That's what I'm trying to get across and a few posters have agreed with me.
It's the comment from the salesperson above "I wish I had that problem," that completely invalidates how a skinny person feels. It's ridiculous. Like I said, it's the idea that I'm not allowed to have body insecurities because I'm skinny. That I'm suppose to enjoy being skinny and it's all rainbows and unicorns.
Also, tailoring clothes are expensive and when I barely have enough extra money for new clothes I can't afford a tailor.
No one really wants to hear anyone complain about anything. Fat/skinny/ugly/pretty/dumb/smart. Just shut the fuck up already.
You shut the fuck up. If you don't want to hear/read my complaints then use the fucking block button. I'm not holding a damn gun to head forcing you to read my fucking opinions.
I am going back to work next week when LO is 10 weeks even though I get 12 weeks off. I'm missing structure and a schedule and feel like I may get depressed if I don't get back soon. Ive never had depression but I feel like I could be heading down that path. I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM. I know friends and family are judging me but I'm more concerned with my sanity than their opinions.
I exclusively BF for 10 months last time with my first and never really enjoyed it. This time I am having trouble losing the last 10 pounds and part of me wants to quit BFing and go on my hard core protein diet, which is the way I've had success losing weight in the past. I can't diet as much while BFing so I want to quit. What a dumb and selfish reason.
Overall I just feel like a selfish mom but I'd rather be selfish and avoid depression than suffer.
you are not being selfish. Happy mom = happy baby. You need to do whats right for you.
And thanks, all. I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I just haven't told anybody else, and H's reaction today wasn't what I was expecting, so I needed to re-vent it, heh.
Have you had your testosterone levels checked?
yes, this. i had mine checked a few weeks ago and they were 8... normal levels are 30-40 although they say the range is 8-40, the doctor said it was really low. i'm picking up a prescription tonight to hopefully correct this, my lack of interest in sex is really causing an issue in our marriage. DH actually made the comment that i'm a great wife, great mom to our son, but not a great lover.
I feel like I'm really behind life-wise. Everyone my age seems to either be married, pregnant, or already has kids. I feel like i will be the only one at my class reunion that hasnt started a family. I wish I could just get married tomorrow, but my mom is still being weird about talking about it. I know that unlike those people, I have a career and I should be happy, but I'm not. Part of me wants to ignore my family's feeling and just elope, but I don't know if I could handle a lifetime of backlash.
I think I might skip out on FI's family's holidays. I don't want to be bugged about when we are going to have kids when it seems like we will never be able to have a wedding. Let us live at our own pace damnit!
I'm sorry Steph. If I remember correctly, you are about my age, so you are still pretty young. There is so need to rush or feel like you are behind in life. On the other hand, I understand. I dont know how long youve been engaged, but Im sure if youve been engaged for awhile it can be frustrating if you feel like you're ready to get married and you cant bc of family issues. I remember reading one post about this, but I dont know the whole story. But if you and FI are ready to get married, just do it. Have a JOP wedding, elope, whatever. Do what makes you and FI happy. It's very nice that youre thinking about your moms feelings, but I think you also need to think about YOUR feelings. Thats just my two cents.
I am going back to work next week when LO is 10 weeks even though I get 12 weeks off. I'm missing structure and a schedule and feel like I may get depressed if I don't get back soon. Ive never had depression but I feel like I could be heading down that path. I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM. I know friends and family are judging me but I'm more concerned with my sanity than their opinions.
I exclusively BF for 10 months last time with my first and never really enjoyed it. This time I am having trouble losing the last 10 pounds and part of me wants to quit BFing and go on my hard core protein diet, which is the way I've had success losing weight in the past. I can't diet as much while BFing so I want to quit. What a dumb and selfish reason.
Overall I just feel like a selfish mom but I'd rather be selfish and avoid depression than suffer.
you are not being selfish. Happy mom = happy baby. You need to do whats right for you.
I am going back to work next week when LO is 10 weeks even though I get 12 weeks off. I'm missing structure and a schedule and feel like I may get depressed if I don't get back soon. Ive never had depression but I feel like I could be heading down that path. I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM. I know friends and family are judging me but I'm more concerned with my sanity than their opinions.
I exclusively BF for 10 months last time with my first and never really enjoyed it. This time I am having trouble losing the last 10 pounds and part of me wants to quit BFing and go on my hard core protein diet, which is the way I've had success losing weight in the past. I can't diet as much while BFing so I want to quit. What a dumb and selfish reason.
Overall I just feel like a selfish mom but I'd rather be selfish and avoid depression than suffer.
you are not being selfish. Happy mom = happy baby. You need to do whats right for you.
I agree 100%. I'm back to work early (especially in Canada where most women take 12 months off) and I get judgement on that. It bugs me a bit but I need to do whats best for ME, and that means working.