Post by UnderProtest on May 19, 2015 15:24:45 GMT -5
Yes, I would tell my husband. It is unfair for your mil to unburden herself on you and expect you not to tell your husband (who may or may not want to get involved).
Yes, it is if it is just because you don't want to be bothered to go to the "boring" part of the day. But in this case, it is a better option than bringing an uninvited guest.
It is driving me crazy that I can't find any etiquette on whether uninvited parishioners of the church should come to the wedding. Does anyone have better google skills to help me find this?
To be clear, my post had nothing to with the actual OP here and I have no idea on the venue for the ceremony she is talking about. But in general, especially in Catholic churches where weddings are a full Mass, there is an open door policy. Parishioners often attend these Masses, same with funeral Masses. If it is a tiny church with limited seating and a huge guest list, I could see this maybe being an issue, but in decent sized churches, this is not really out of the ordinary at all, which is why I could understand OP bringing her kid.
And just for anecdote time, I had a Catholic wedding Mass and a child-free reception. People knew their kids weren't invited to the reception because the invitation explicitly said "adult reception" on it, but it made no such mention regarding the ceremony. So it's possible that that is what OP is referring to when she says kid wasn't invited.
This is exactly why I was trying to figure out etiquette rules on it. I would think it is more acceptable and common at Catholic churches where people are trying to fulfill their Mass requirement (we had a priest in training at our wedding, but it wasn't a full Mass so we had to let him know). I come from a Protestant background and don't see the same need. Just trying to figure out what the is "right" thing since as usual this is a hot topic on MM.
Yes, it is if it is just because you don't want to be bothered to go to the "boring" part of the day. But in this case, it is a better option than bringing an uninvited guest.
It is driving me crazy that I can't find any etiquette on whether uninvited parishioners of the church should come to the wedding. Does anyone have better google skills to help me find this?
Aren't there some religions/areas where not only is the congregation encouraged to attend, but the bride and groom are obligated to feed them afterward? Like, they have a short cake and punch reception in the church basement for everyone, and then the actual invited guests get a dinner at a banquet hall or whatever?
Oh, and I do consider it very rude to skip the ceremony.
Yes, it is if it is just because you don't want to be bothered to go to the "boring" part of the day. But in this case, it is a better option than bringing an uninvited guest.
It is driving me crazy that I can't find any etiquette on whether uninvited parishioners of the church should come to the wedding. Does anyone have better google skills to help me find this?
OK, I have to say, I don't get this. Random people showed up to a wedding I was coordinating once and I kicked them out. It's just weird IMO.
I had a bunch of uninvited guests at my wedding ceremony - one of my coworkers, my mom's coworkers, someone brought a young granddaughter, etc. It didn't bother me. Most of them sat near the back and nobody did anything to call attention to themselves. I was kind of in the zone anyway and wouldn't have noticed. My church was also HUGE, so there was no way I could've known exactly who was there. I only found out about a lot of them once I got the photos back.
When I was an altar server for weddings (different church, but a similar size), my mom would drive me there and then sit in the back.
And, like kadams767 and dexteroni said, it's not like you can really kick people out of a church. I can totally understand asking random passersby to leave a wedding on a golf course or in a museum or something private like that. Or even a really small church where seating is limited and/or where random people would be a disturbance.
But you aren't this bride. If she didn't specifically invite this kid, then he isn't invited. It doesn't matter what her reasons or if random people can stop by. Thank you, monsterz for understanding this.
First question.....was Junior invited to the wedding?
He was not invited to the reception. If I do decide to being him I will check with the bride and groom if it is OK.
Explain how he is invited to the wedding then? Unless they have already specified that he IS invited to the ceremony, he isn't. Don't put them in an awkward position of saying yes to you and then having a dozen other people mad at them for not allowing their precious children to attend. You WILL be talked about.
Post by UnderProtest on May 19, 2015 9:44:30 GMT -5
@upnorth
It's not always just for the educational aspect, some of the "inner city London" schools can be rough safety wise. Also, you have a lot more choice in locations and such with private schools. The school systems are much different over here so don't discount it just because you wouldn't send your kids to private schools in the US. My kids are in private nursery school here (preschool), but will be going to public schools when we return to the US.
Ha, on the medical insurance. I've complained about the medical stuff a ton. I would HIGHLY recommend insisting on private coverage. While the NHS does have its merits (and we are covered under NHS because of our visa status), I much prefer the private route, especially with kids and any ongoing medical issues. We had issues at first because of the way my husband's assignment was structured, but now we have global coverage. It isn't cheap, so you might need to ask for an allowance to cover it, but we have had a much better experience with private doctors. Private is more similar to the US system and easier to navigate.
Post by UnderProtest on May 19, 2015 9:20:03 GMT -5
My wish list:
- location (both in terms of what city-someplace warm and close to amenities) - 2+ car attached garage - 4+ bedrooms - 2.5+ bathrooms - open floor plan - lots of windows and natural light
I would love a house that has character and is ready to move in, but I'm willing to put some money/effort into it if its the right location.
The money thing would be huge for me in Western Europe. HUGE.
Who is the poster with B/G twins who moved to London last year? UnderProtest?
Yup, that was me. Also RockNVoll just moved here too (tagged her since she probably doesn't visit the Moms board much). She might actually have better suggestions as to how to negotiate. With my husband's job, it was a take it or leave it package, no negotiating room. But it was a good package and came with a promise of promotion so it was a no brainer
You should consider things such as: a housing allowance (amount between cost here and cost in the US), cost of living allowances (as my H is still paid in the US in USD and we came from a fairly LCOL to a VHCOL, this was big for us), relocation assistance (house hunting trip, corporate apartment, moving services, etc), tax equalization and tax return preparation, tuition assistance (depending on where in the UK you are, hint, hint, London, you may not want to send your kids to the free public schools), home leave (paid flight to visit "home") home sale assistance (depending on how long you will be gone and the terms, sometimes companies will pick up real estate fees or such) allowance for purchase of new electronics and setting up a new home (ex. new vacuum, hair dryer, tv, fees for set up of utilities) visa assistance (fees, etc.) My husband took care of all of this so all I know is that there was A LOT of paperwork and forms, plus we had to be fingerprinted and such.
This is all I can think of right now, but please feel free to ask any questions!
Post by UnderProtest on May 16, 2015 14:06:23 GMT -5
Thanks Pom The sad part is that I don't even feel like drinking today. I just want to go to sleep until this is all over, but no, I have to deal with chicken pox that are apparently starting to itch and 5 eyes worth of pinkeye. God I hope I don't get it.
Do they not give kids the chicken pox vaccine in Britain? I'm so sorry. Keep pouring drinks!!
Private doctors do, but the NHS does not. My kids had the vaccine before we left the US though. It only has a 30% effective rate, hence why my kid is still sick. Although the doctor did say that the kids who get the vaccine and still get chicken pox tend to have a milder case.
Post by UnderProtest on May 16, 2015 5:02:31 GMT -5
I like it! We toured a mid century modern home in Seattle and I drooled over it. It was professionally decorated in the 60s and hadn't been touched since. It was in amazing condition.
Post by UnderProtest on May 15, 2015 16:49:38 GMT -5
Can I afford to burn my house down with everything in it and run far away until the kids and husband are no longer contagious? Its a rental if that helps.
Post by UnderProtest on May 15, 2015 15:23:32 GMT -5
4 drinks in......two rum and cherry cokes and two glasses of red wine (and an amazing peanut butter s'mores thing) and I'm about to crash. Oh, and my husband really does have pinkeye. Dumbass for giving me attitude about washing his hands before and after helping me give our son eye ointment. No sympathy here, at all. This could be worse than a man cold.
You need medicine. Kahlua in your coffee, vodka in your oj. Something. Hellsbells.
Rum and cherry coke are being consumed now. I had to wait until after school pickup before I started reeking of alcohol. It is past 5 here so it is cocktail hour anyway.
I'm so sorry, and we were just talking about this last night! Is there anything I can do for you? I'm off in about 45 minutes and could pick up dinner or something.
You don't want to have Friday night dinner with us?!?!?!?
H is supposed to be off work soon, but thanks. I might be calling you next week though.
Post by UnderProtest on May 15, 2015 10:59:05 GMT -5
Yeah, this week can go to hell. On Monday my son was home sick from preschool and diagnosed with pinkeye and an upper respiratory infection. Today while at the doctor's office picking up a prescription for my man child husband who thinks he also has pinkeye, I asked the doctor to look at a spot on my daughter. Yep, it is chicken pox. My son still has to have ointment 4 times a day for the pinkeye but can go to school, my man child husband has to have eye drops either every 2 hours or 4 times a day for his "pinkeye" and now my daughter has to stay home until the spots go away (a week or more). Oh, and the week after next is half term and the school is closed for a whole week. Oh, and my husband is traveling 3 days next week.