I am curious as to who people consider the "in-crowd" because to me the board dynamics are far from black and white like that.
This. There are a trillion sub groups it seems.
Though even some of the girls I would consider friends can make me want to stab my eyes out every once in a while. I think that can be normal. Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards
I am curious as to who people consider the "in-crowd" because to me the board dynamics are far from black and white like that.
This. There are a trillion sub groups it seems.
Though even some of the girls I would consider friends can make me want to stab my eyes out every once in a while. I think that can be normal. Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards
I was in a sorority in college. Totally normal. ;D
I feel guilty and a little lame, that I didn't bother to send out xmas cards this year. I couldn't find any good pics of the kids and I gave up after a day.
Though even some of the girls I would consider friends can make me want to stab my eyes out every once in a while. I think that can be normal. Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards
I was in a sorority in college. Totally normal. ;D
I wouldn't want to name names, because that's mean.
I think the people who get on my nerves here (and in real life) are the ones who think they know best and they are the coolest. If you disagree with them, you're stupid. If they post something, everyone is supposed to fawn over them and act like it's the greatest thing ever posted.
Honestly I don't know that there is anyone here that I consistently don't like. There are a couple of posters who annoy me more often than others, but even they sometimes post things I find redeeming. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
Oh I've been saving this one (but maybe it's more of a confession?): I judge the hell out of my husband for liking Spam. But I could eat bologna (like, the fake stuff in the yellow plastic package) all the livelong day. YUMYUMYUM.
There, now everyone can hate me for being entitled. Huzzah.
I think kids are kind of allowed to be entitled. I mean, none of us asked to be born, and our parents didn't have to have us. But our parents did decide to have create kids because they felt that kids would bring love and happiness into their lives. I think that, in exchange, they should feel obligated to support those kids the best they can. Of course, some parents can't afford to send their kids to college or whatever, and I think that's totally okay and they shouldn't feel at all guilty about that, but I think it is really selfish to (for example) buy a brand new 7 series but then tell your kids they're on their own for college. I think rich parents *should* feel some sort of financial obligation to their kids.
I agree with this. And if your parents paid for your college, I think you should try very hard to pay for your children's college. And I totally side eye the people I work with who don't save for their children's education. Many are 2 lawyer couples (with at least one in biglaw).
I am pissed that DH's extended family's Christmas is scheduled on the night that a local band that only reunites every few years is playing. We the Christmas is over 4 hours away and starts at 4pm so no chance in hell that we could make it back in time.
songforyou, I think its boredom that makes people want to know. It's like watching reality TV when people are having a fight. It's interesting drama.
Which is funny to me because drama between people I know is stressful to me. I always think it will be entertaining until it happens and then I hate it.
I was in a sorority in college. Totally normal. ;D
Truth. If I had a quarter for every time I heard "I love her BUT..." lol
I agree that it's not interesting if you don't name names. Why bother to bring it up then?
Unrelated: I think this board would be more interesting if the money threads had actual numbers in them. If people are meeting irl I get why that might be uncomfortable but maybe we could start using AEs or something. On the old board I once saw a "state of the union" thread that was really interesting.
There, now everyone can hate me for being entitled. Huzzah.
I think kids are kind of allowed to be entitled. I mean, none of us asked to be born, and our parents didn't have to have us. But our parents did decide to have create kids because they felt that kids would bring love and happiness into their lives. I think that, in exchange, they should feel obligated to support those kids the best they can. Of course, some parents can't afford to send their kids to college or whatever, and I think that's totally okay and they shouldn't feel at all guilty about that, but I think it is really selfish to (for example) buy a brand new 7 series but then tell your kids they're on their own for college. I think rich parents *should* feel some sort of financial obligation to their kids.
I see both sides. I definitely side eye people who I know make a decent amount of money but aren't saving much for their kids' college education. But otoh, 20k in loans isn't much if you're talking about a private university. It's like a drop in the bucket :) And aren't his parents allowed to enjoy life too? You only live once.
I was in a sorority in college. Totally normal. ;D
Truth. If I had a quarter for every time I heard "I love her BUT..." lol
I agree that it's not interesting if you don't name names. Why bother to bring it up then?
Unrelated: I think this board would be more interesting if the money threads had actual numbers in them. If people are meeting irl I get why that might be uncomfortable but maybe we could start using AEs or something. On the old board I once saw a "state of the union" thread that was really interesting.
Agreed. I am coy about money here because everyone is coy about money here, but it seems odd that an anonymous board about money requires that kind of politeness. If these people are never going to know who you are, why *can't* they know what you make each year? It would be interesting to know how things actually do shake out in different worlds.
But on the other hand, I think there's enough jealousy/insecurity/competitiveness/martyrdom/"I would NEVER spend x on y and it therefore it is stupid for anyone to do so"/embellishment here (all of which I think is also bizarre for an anonymous message board) that I can see why frankness doesn't always go well.
Agreed. I am coy about money here because everyone is coy about money here, but it seems odd that an anonymous board about money requires that kind of politeness. If these people are never going to know who you are, why *can't* they know what you make each year? It would be interesting to know how things actually do shake out in different worlds.
But on the other hand, I think there's enough jealousy/insecurity/competitiveness/martyrdom/"I would NEVER spend x on y and it therefore it is stupid for anyone to do so"/embellishment here (all of which I think is also bizarre for an anonymous message board) that I can see why frankness doesn't always go well.
I just ignore them. And also I do think they are just jealous (maybe that is flameful? lol)
I've been cursed out and told I should leave the board, so for that reason, I know that everyone who notices me doesn't like me, but guess how many fucks I give LOL?
I know/notice you AND I like you. You are funny and often agree with me- what's not to like?
I think kids are kind of allowed to be entitled. I mean, none of us asked to be born, and our parents didn't have to have us. But our parents did decide to have create kids because they felt that kids would bring love and happiness into their lives. I think that, in exchange, they should feel obligated to support those kids the best they can. Of course, some parents can't afford to send their kids to college or whatever, and I think that's totally okay and they shouldn't feel at all guilty about that, but I think it is really selfish to (for example) buy a brand new 7 series but then tell your kids they're on their own for college. I think rich parents *should* feel some sort of financial obligation to their kids.
I see both sides. I definitely side eye people who I know make a decent amount of money but aren't saving much for their kids' college education. But otoh, 20k in loans isn't much if you're talking about a private university. It's like a drop in the bucket :) And aren't his parents allowed to enjoy life too? You only live once.
If you're talking about my husband (I think that's what you're referring to), they're not the hypothetical that you quoted.
He didn't go to a private university and we graduated over 10 years ago, so $20,000 was almost a quarter of his college costs. I just think it is weird that they handed his sister a down payment when he was taking out loans for college (I'd argue that college is more important than making sure that your 3L daughter is buying instead of renting), and I'd also argue that they could have sent him to public school for, say, grades 1-4 instead of sending him to a super mediocre Catholic school because that money could have gone to college instead. I understand why they paid for Catholic high school (which was a much better regarded school than his elementary school), but it seems weird to spend so much for his private education for the first 13 years, and then basically make him pay for his own senior year of college.
But again, they aren't the hypothetical of the rich parents that I was talking about above. That situation is different.
I, too, would love to see more real numbers. I have posted our income/rough budget before (and a detailed budget a long time ago) and would do so again if it would help people.
However, I don't think it's as easy as "anonymous message board posters". Many people here have known each other for years and years, have IRL and off-board friendships, and so I think hesitate to bring up details that they wouldn't share IRL. Plus, this board has a history of remembering EVERYTHING and bringing it up later, which I think scares people off.
Nobody wants the chorus of "How can you be stressed about money now? I know you spend $1,800 a month on food!? I only make $1,800 a month blahblahblah"
I will say that I don't buy the whole "we are big dogs, posting our budget won't help anyone." I have learned tremendously from those who are "ahead" of us in terms of HHI and net worth, and have shaped our own strategies as a result of that. I am very thankful to those posters for sharing.
I see both sides. I definitely side eye people who I know make a decent amount of money but aren't saving much for their kids' college education. But otoh, 20k in loans isn't much if you're talking about a private university. It's like a drop in the bucket :) And aren't his parents allowed to enjoy life too? You only live once.
If you're talking about my husband (I think that's what you're referring to), they're not the hypothetical that you quoted.
He didn't go to a private university and we graduated over 10 years ago, so $20,000 was almost a quarter of his college costs. I just think it is weird that they handed his sister a down payment when he was taking out loans for college (I'd argue that college is more important than making sure that your 3L daughter is buying instead of renting), and I'd also argue that they could have sent him to public school for, say, grades 1-4 instead of sending him to a super mediocre Catholic school because that money could have gone to college instead. I understand why they paid for Catholic high school (which was a much better regarded school than his elementary school), but it seems weird to spend so much for his private education for the first 13 years, and then basically make him pay for his own senior year of college.
The down payment part with the sister is weird. I think it's sad when parents are that obvious about treating siblings unequally.
I know a few people irl (and I've seen a few on this board) who are committed to sending to their kids to private k-12 and then just doing what they can for college because they think the private school is that much better than public. I don't agree because personally I think a bright kid can do well even in a mediocre school and I would rather have the money for college but maybe they are right that they are setting their kid up to get decent scholarship money. Who knows.
You all are ruining my delusions of one big happy board.
I don't genuinely dislike anyone. I'm not even sure how people can dislike people they've never met in person. There are people who rub me the wrong way but I assume they really have no idea or don't care how they come across online.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't like me, but I still like them, so that just makes them an asshole. ;D
I, too, would love to see more real numbers. I have posted our income/rough budget before (and a detailed budget a long time ago) and would do so again if it would help people.
However, I don't think it's as easy as "anonymous message board posters". Many people here have known each other for years and years, have IRL and off-board friendships, and so I think hesitate to bring up details that they wouldn't share IRL. Plus, this board has a history of remembering EVERYTHING and bringing it up later, which I think scares people off.
Nobody wants the chorus of "How can you be stressed about money now? I know you spend $1,800 a month on food!? I only make $1,800 a month blahblahblah"
I will say that I don't buy the whole "we are big dogs, posting our budget won't help anyone." I have learned tremendously from those who are "ahead" of us in terms of HHI and net worth, and have shaped our own strategies as a result of that. I am very thankful to those posters for sharing.
Two of the posters here are very wonderful off-board friends of mine, and so I understand that people here are real friends, but I guess I don't understand why they can't be friends who you're more honest about finances with? I think that's the situation that my poster friends and I have (maybe also in large part because we do the same thing for a living and live near each other). I actually have pretty open financial discussions with many of my closest friends, because many of them also do the same thing as I do (which means that we know each others' salaries) and live near each other, so any mystery is gone anyway. It is kind of nice. I don't understand why IRL friends from these boards can't be frank with each other like that.
I don't think that seeing someone who makes a million dollars a year's budget would be at all worthwhile to me because all that I'd learn from that is that to be in that financial situation, I'd have to earn a whole lot more than I'm earning. And I completely understand why bigdogs aren't jumping up and down for the opportunity to AW themselves with a "Hey poors -- listen up! I'm going to share my budget not because I have any questions, but because I'm special enough that I think you'll find my circumstances interesting." It would be interesting to see, certainly, but I can see why people don't AW that just for the hell of it.
I fully agree with you v. I share financial details with my friends, both IRL and those who also post on this board. I was just trying to explain why I think many are hesitant to do so.
I'm hesitant to post my financial details because we'd get reamed out by MM. We're behind on retirement, and we have not insubstantial CC debt at this point. We were on track to pay off almost all of the CC within a few months until I threw a wrench into everything and moved. We basically feel like a financial wreck right now. I'm such a fraud posting on a money board.
I lurk on MM more than I post, but on days where I am not feeling good about our financial picture, I don't even like coming in here. I don't want to see posts about saving the max for retirement when we are trying to survive on one income.
Oh and speaking of disliking posters...there was someone I wanted to call out on PCE for being a nosy sancti-mommy but by the time I read the thread it was already dead. This woman wanted to call 911 because she saw someone returning to their kid alone in the car. She admitted that she didn't know anything else about the situation (like maybe the woman forgot something in the store and was only gone for a few minutes max?) and by the time that she wanted to call the police, the woman was already back. So what purpose would calling 911 serve? I wonder how the police would see this, if they would be annoyed at her for wasting their time and possibly directing resources away from a true emergency.