Oh and speaking of disliking posters...there was someone I wanted to call out on PCE for being a nosy sancti-mommy but by the time I read the thread it was already dead. This woman wanted to call 911 because she saw someone returning to their kid alone in the car. She admitted that she didn't know anything else about the situation (like maybe the woman forgot something in the store and was only gone for a few minutes max?) and by the time that she wanted to call the police, the woman was already back. So what purpose would calling 911 serve? I wonder how the police would see this, if they would be annoyed at her for wasting their time and possibly directing resources away from a true emergency.
I saw this and was like WTF. There were so many logical, non-negligent explanations for why the kid might have been in the car. What purpose would calling 911 do?
As a board newb, I am hesitant to post anything truly flame worthy. You don't know me yet so I have to keep a fairly pristine image. :-)
I got flamed for something I wrote on ML the other day because it made me sound like a crazy person. So if I never post anything over there again, the first and last impression I made will have have been that of a lunatic.
I fully agree with you v. I share financial details with my friends, both IRL and those who also post on this board. I was just trying to explain why I think many are hesitant to do so.
I would share except it wouldn't be that interesting because most of our income comes in the form of two big bonuses. Sooo I could tell you what we did with the money this year (which would serve no purpose except Awing) but I can't predict what 2013 will be like.
I did once include our income this year in a post but then I saw that no one else was doing that and realized it was a faux pas for an anonymous internet message board that is supposed to be about money. Oops, lol.
I lurk on MM more than I post, but on days where I am not feeling good about our financial picture, I don't even like coming in here. I don't want to see posts about saving the max for retirement when we are trying to survive on one income.
See, it's all about how you look at it. When H and I met we were making ~$75k combined and he had well over $70k in debt (credit card, personal loans, car). It was MM that got me excited to pay it all off and helped me to do just that. You can't take it personally because there will ALWAYS be someone better off than you.
I know plenty of people dislike me here. I'm fine with that. The feeling is probably mutual.
I know I'm late posting, but this post is hilarious to me because I was just going to name you as someone who had previously named names and posted unpopular opinions that I shared. Then I click to the next page in this thread, and find this. LOL
Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G. K. Chesterton
I don't hate anyone here. Not even cosmos. I appreciate the frank answers and honest feedback I get. I will agree that there can be different attitudes dependent on the poster and how well we know them but even if gypsy asked about Asian people driving fancy cars, she would get flames. Probably, "normally I like you but..."
I like when the cliffords post their budget because I like knowing how they allocate things. Obviously I'm a little envious, but aren't we all envious of someone. I wish there were more numbers too, but then I'm kind of a hypocrite because I know MM would ream me if they saw out budget.
But on the other hand, I think there's enough jealousy/insecurity/competitiveness/martyrdom/"I would NEVER spend x on y and it therefore it is stupid for anyone to do so"/embellishment here (all of which I think is also bizarre for an anonymous message board) that I can see why frankness doesn't always go well.
But on the other hand, I think there's enough jealousy/insecurity/competitiveness/martyrdom/"I would NEVER spend x on y and it therefore it is stupid for anyone to do so"/embellishment here (all of which I think is also bizarre for an anonymous message board) that I can see why frankness doesn't always go well.
BRAGPLAINER!!
I am definitely once bitten/twice shy after an honest (I SWEAR!) question about tipping for hair services set off a flamefest on several fronts.
This is my flame-worthy comment. I'm bothered that so many of the things being sent to Newtown, CT are in multiples of 26 for the twenty children and six adults at the school. But he killed twenty seven people. He murdered his mother. Is she somehow not fit to be remembered? Why doesn't she count?
I'd post my financial information...I don't really care if y'all know about it. But I don't need any advice, I know what the issues in my spending/income are. So unless you just want to know how two people live in an expensive city on shitty pay, I can't really contribute.
I don't hate anyone here. Not even cosmos. I appreciate the frank answers and honest feedback I get. I will agree that there can be different attitudes dependent on the poster and how well we know them but even if gypsy asked about Asian people driving fancy cars, she would get flames. Probably, "normally I like you but..."
you aren't on my list, Hanna!
Honestly, my list is pretty small. There are people I once didn't care for that are now some of my good buddies, and other people who don't post enough to get my panties in a wad. I dont even hate bliss.
This is my flame-worthy comment. I'm bothered that so many of the things being sent to Newtown, CT are in multiples of 26 for the twenty children and six adults at the school. But he killed twenty seven people. He murdered his mother. Is she somehow not fit to be remembered? Why doesn't she count?
I've posted my budget before, and I'm thinking about doing it again once I know what my raise is (if I get one, that is) since we are getting desperate about moving out of our house.
I often wish I could have more frank money conversations, both here and IRL. At times I will share details with people so as not to be a hypocrite about this, but I think what holds a lot of people back is the fear that these details will drive a wedge in the friendship. Things often get weird when money is involved, especially when there are big disparities, and I wouldn't want to risk losing a friend over some casual money conversations.
ETA: Oh, and that was totally not a flameful, just musings on other posts here. Fail.
I'm tacky and talk about money because people ask. H is in grad school full time and I work as an assistant so clearly we're not bringing in a ton of money. Still, people seem envious of our lifestyle and ask how we can do x, y, and z. It blows my mind that they're jealous because we're comfortable but we don't spend money on a, b, and c when other people do. I don't do it to brag, rather just show people that we all have different spending priorities and none of it's usually better than the next person. I make it clear that when we can't afford something it's because we choose to do not do it be it a restaurant with $20 drinks (seriously) or renting a vacation house with friends. Yes, I suppose I could not spend it on what I want, but that's just stupid.
I'd post my financial information...I don't really care if y'all know about it. But I don't need any advice, I know what the issues in my spending/income are. So unless you just want to know how two people live in an expensive city on shitty pay, I can't really contribute.
Same. I know how I can improve, but we're fine, so I don't really care.
This is my flame-worthy comment. I'm bothered that so many of the things being sent to Newtown, CT are in multiples of 26 for the twenty children and six adults at the school. But he killed twenty seven people. He murdered his mother. Is she somehow not fit to be remembered? Why doesn't she count?
I agree but it seems like a lot of people are blaming her for teaching her son how to shoot and keeping the guns in the house. Not all the information is available to the public yet so I might change my mind later (if say, it turns out that she was abusive) but I can't believe that she ever imagined a scenario like this. As far as we know, she was a victim too.
I've not posted a budget yet, but I've thought about doing it under an ae. I'm super private about some things and totally not about others, but that's not why I haven't posted it. I remember people getting reemed out about spending money on cable, and I don't want that to happen to me!
This is my flame-worthy comment. I'm bothered that so many of the things being sent to Newtown, CT are in multiples of 26 for the twenty children and six adults at the school. But he killed twenty seven people. He murdered his mother. Is she somehow not fit to be remembered? Why doesn't she count?
I agree but it seems like a lot of people are blaming her for teaching her son how to shoot and keeping the guns in the house. Not all the information is available to the public yet so I might change my mind later (if say, it turns out that she was abusive) but I can't believe that she ever imagined a scenario like this. As far as we know, she was a victim too.
It reminds me of "We Need to Talk About Kevin". VERY difficult book and movie. This is not really a spoiler, but after everything happens, his mother is a complete pariah with people vandalizing her house and car, physically attacking her on the street, destroying her mentally and physically.
I agree but it seems like a lot of people are blaming her for teaching her son how to shoot and keeping the guns in the house. Not all the information is available to the public yet so I might change my mind later (if say, it turns out that she was abusive) but I can't believe that she ever imagined a scenario like this. As far as we know, she was a victim too.
It reminds me of "We Need to Talk About Kevin". VERY difficult book and movie. This is not really a spoiler, but after everything happens, his mother is a complete pariah with people vandalizing her house and car, physically attacking her on the street, destroying her mentally and physically.
Slightly sidetracking, but this is part of why I oppose the death penalty. Yes, this person killed a person or multiple people, but they have a family that probably loves them, even with their mistakes, and is hurting. Killing that person just hurts another family that much more.
My flame-worthy opinion is this -- I am hard core judging one of my clients for the crappy ass Christmas gift they gave me. She and I are friendly outside of our daycare relationship. Our kids are the same age and in an activity together. She has been a client here for almost 4 years.
We were discussing holiday tips and she told me how much she tipped the paper delivery guy, mailman, and her hair stylist. She told me that she gave the karate instructor a $50 gift card - her dd has been in karate for 8 weeks. So when she handed me an envelope and a gift bag, I thought it was sweet. Until I saw the Dollar Tree plastic snowman holiday plate, a candle with a clearance sticker for $1.97 still on it, and a holiday card from her family, I was bummed.
Later, I got mad. Her entire "gift" to me cost under $5. The gift her kid made for her mom and dad cost me about $15 and about an hour of time to help her make it. I frequently do them favors above and beyond my job. Taking her dd early, waiving late fees, caring for her kid when she is borderline ill because I know her boss is a jerk, etc. I am done. I was planning on driving her dd back and forth to preschool next year, but I won't do it now. I feel really unappreciated. Not even a thank you card. WTF?
So maybe I am gift grabby, but I am super pissed off today.
I agree but it seems like a lot of people are blaming her for teaching her son how to shoot and keeping the guns in the house. Not all the information is available to the public yet so I might change my mind later (if say, it turns out that she was abusive) but I can't believe that she ever imagined a scenario like this. As far as we know, she was a victim too.
It reminds me of "We Need to Talk About Kevin". VERY difficult book and movie. This is not really a spoiler, but after everything happens, his mother is a complete pariah with people vandalizing her house and car, physically attacking her on the street, destroying her mentally and physically.
I don't want to blame the mom, AT ALL, because I'm certain she was in a very tough situation with this kid and she was a victim obviously too. I dislike comments I've seen on CNN and such saying she should be excluded from victim lists.
With that said - I do want more information about why she was so free with guns around someone who was this unstable. I know she couldn't have possibly imagined he would do THIS, but I would think it would be best to err on the side of caution and not give a potentially unstable family member shooting lessons and easy access to guns.
I am not against people owning or using guns, but be responsible about it. This sounds irresponsible but I'd like more information before making a solid judgement on that I guess.
Tuesday night we did Xmas at my parents. My mother had us open this giant gift. It was something like this:
I couldn't hold in my laughter and blurted out, "This is just as bad as the quesadilla maker and sandwich maker...You better not have spent over $10 for this!"
I don't feel bad for saying it. And my mom is taking it back to get me something else. I would have been estatic to get just plain ol' Christmas socks. She gives me those in my stocking every year.
On the way home, MH told me, "I'm so glad I wasn't the asshole who said it."
I'd also like to see the budgets of those ahead of us. we are lucky enough to have low overhead and a pretty comfortable income. I sometimes wonder how we are doing with the save for the future/enjoy the now balance. I know that's a judgment largely made on our own but I would like to see where others, who also have flexibility in their finances, draw the line.