So long as the kids have a decent roof over their head, they aren't sleeping in rubbermaid tubs a la Emily $1k/mo blogger (for instance, IMO you need to have at least a 3 BR house to have 4 kids so long as you have 2 boys, 2 girls or all one gender), are well-fed and clothed, why would I? Having a lot of kids is just as much a valid choice as having one or none.
I was reading this blog (Rebecca Wolf at Girl's Gone Child) who has 4 kids, two who were surprise twins, and she says that she gets judgmental looks and comments every time she takes them out somewhere. Just wondering if this is a thing or if maybe she's imagining it?
They live in LA where large families are not the norm, which is probably part of it.
I was reading this blog (Rebecca Wolf at Girl's Gone Child) who has 4 kids, two who were surprise twins, and she says that she gets judgmental looks and comments every time she takes them out somewhere. Just wondering if this is a thing or if maybe she's imagining it?
They live in LA where large families are not the norm, which is probably part of it.
I was reading this blog (Rebecca Wolf at Girl's Gone Child) who has 4 kids, two who were surprise twins, and she says that she gets judgmental looks and comments every time she takes them out somewhere. Just wondering if this is a thing or if maybe she's imagining it?
They live in LA where large families are not the norm, which is probably part of it.
Well, the judgmental looks could be that if there are four kids sitting at a table at a restaurant, I'm going to assume that they'll be twice as loud as if there are two kids there? Or they could just be "Wow, that's a lot of work" or "Wow, you don't see that often anymore" looks? If I see a family with four kids who appear to actually reside in my neighborhood, I'd probably be a bit curious because there are so few homes that could fit four kids. But I look the same way at people with more than one big dog -- where do they live that they can fit two big dogs in their apartment?
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jan 24, 2013 10:10:49 GMT -5
No. Large families are pretty normal out here. We have Brady Bunch friends that have 9 kids together. She has 4 and he has 5. His kids are all teenagers or older. Most of them are already on their own.
I'm confused about how this is judgeworthy - maybe they get looks because the kids are unruly? Or just because slightly larger families aren't the norm these days? A college friend has four daughters, all little and blonde and blue-eyed. She jokingly calls them her cute freak show, because they get stared at and garner comments all the time. "You're going to have your hands full!", "Hope Dad is saving up for all those weddings!", etc, etc, from random strangers.
Post by LoveTrains on Jan 24, 2013 10:11:46 GMT -5
Eh, I admit that I kinda do. I mean, I don't really care how many kids anyone has, but I think large families like the Duggars and the Bates are absurd.
I definitely raise my eyebrows a little at anything over 3 or 4 kids because I just think wow, that must be so expensive and the parents must be exhausted.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jan 24, 2013 10:13:22 GMT -5
Most large families I see at play groups seem to have better behaved kids than some of the other ones. I'm always impressed with how well they keep a group of little kids together when walking through the mall or whatever.
No but I come from such a family & am about to have one myself. Yes people comment & give looks when you are out all together. It's true. Just like people comment on only children.
I'm confused about how this is judgeworthy - maybe they get looks because the kids are unruly? Or just because slightly larger families aren't the norm these days? A college friend has four daughters, all little and blonde and blue-eyed. She jokingly calls them her cute freak show, because they get stared at and garner comments all the time. "You're going to have your hands full!", "Hope Dad is saving up for all those weddings!", etc, etc, from random strangers.
She says she gets comments about the impact on the environment, how do you handle that many kids, how can you afford it, do you know what causes it, etc. etc.
Not unless they're out of control and being brats. (I'd judge that even with one or two kids, but a larger family would make me wonder why the hell you had more kids if you obviously couldn't control the first few.)
I don't judge them. I don't even consider four large. My family has four. But I do admit it's unusual (at least where I'm from) so maybe I would look them over a bit and try to guage ages.
My sister just announced her 5th and I'm amazed how many people are complete assholes about it. They make good money and they are very fiscally conservative, so I'm not sure why people feel the need to judge.
I'm confused about how this is judgeworthy - maybe they get looks because the kids are unruly? Or just because slightly larger families aren't the norm these days? A college friend has four daughters, all little and blonde and blue-eyed. She jokingly calls them her cute freak show, because they get stared at and garner comments all the time. "You're going to have your hands full!", "Hope Dad is saving up for all those weddings!", etc, etc, from random strangers.
She says she gets comments about the impact on the environment, how do you handle that many kids, how can you afford it, do you know what causes it, etc. etc.
She says she gets comments about the impact on the environment, how do you handle that many kids, how can you afford it, do you know what causes it, etc. etc.
Yes, yes, yes...these are the comments you hear.
It seems like only the first one is judging, and I'm guessing that's a random crazy or two. The rest just sound like curious people who can't keep their mouths shut, or people who think they're funnier than they are. Or maybe they're trying to express some kind of sympathy if she looks like she has her hands full.
I admit I've stared a bit at larger families with lots of very young kids if I see them out and about, just because it looks like WORK. But I don't judge. And I wouldn't comment.
Having a large family isn't particulay judge worthy IMO.
I would judge someone for making a decision to intentionally have a kid or multiple kids when they can't support them but that could 1 kid or 9 kids. Most people I know with large families do just fine at supporting their kids.
She says she gets comments about the impact on the environment, how do you handle that many kids, how can you afford it, do you know what causes it, etc. etc.
Yes, yes, yes...these are the comments you hear.
Meh. People make judgey comments to all sorts of people all the time. We get judgey comments about not having kids. We get judgey comments about things like "You'll finally understand what tired is when you have kids." We get questions about how we can afford our apartment, and how much it costs, etc. We get comments about why my husband has such a crappy car. Some people are tactless, and it isn't like those with 4+ children are the only ones who get tactless comments.
All the time...sorry had to comment. I have a 15 year old, 7 year old twins, and 5 year old. I am exhausted but live it. We typically get comments about how well behaved the boys are,etc. We are broke but that's more the medical bills which are because 3 of our boys have autism and I had heart surgery this summer. Before I stopped working we were fine.
My sister just announced her 5th and I'm amazed how many people are complete assholes about it. They make good money and they are very fiscally conservative, so I'm not sure why people feel the need to judge.
Wow! I am actually jealous. If hubby and I each made 6 figures I would love to have a family that size!