Why do people deliver bad news via text?

[Deleted]

Am I seriously undeserving of a face to face conversation or at least a phone call?

I don't want to say more that than right now because I myself am still waiting for all of my questions to be answered, but what the hell? Put down your phone an come talk to me!

[speckledfrog]

Sometimes that is easier than making the same terrible phone call over and over. Sorry you got bad news that way.

[kirra]

Texting is more remote. When you have bad news, and you have to notify someone but you're still emotional, a text means you can let them know without having them hear you crying or upset.

It's also easier than making an awful phone call a hundred times, and it means that you can notify all the people you need to before you get burned out.

But since you were vague about your situation, I don't know if you're undeserving or not.

[Deleted]

Our friends had a stillborn baby at 31 weeks. She is my best friend. She texted me that she lost the baby when she was in the hospital.


I think it was easier than saying it out loud. And when I found out I knew exactly what to do. Go to her house. Clean. Put groceries in her fridge and then take her food to the hospital.

Sometimes you want people to know but you can't say it.

Depends on the news.

[hisno1girl]

My cousin sent out a text on Monday morning informing everyone that Grandpa died <(He's not my Grandpa, he's my uncles> but I was all WTF about it.

[hisno1girl]

Sept 25, 2013 21:33:43 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Our friends had a stillborn baby at 31 weeks. She is my best friend. She texted me that she lost the baby when she was in the hospital.


I think it was easier than saying it out loud. And when I found out I knew exactly what to do. Go to her house. Clean. Put groceries in her fridge and then take her food to the hospital.

Sometimes you want people to know bit you can't say it.

Depends on the news.

I this case, I think a text is okay.

Informing anyone of the death of a loved one isn't easy but the loss of a child is different, IMO.

[bania]

It depends on what you mean by bad news.

[jinkies]

When my SIL died, my brother called my mom, and asked her to call me. Everyone else got a text. I don't judge. I appreciate that he felt I should get a call, but honestly a text would've been OK too. The guy's wife just died, I'm not going to make it about WHAT I DESERVE, you know?

As for the OP-- have we come up with a word for the GBCN equivalent of vaguebooking yet? We need to get on that.

[lemon]

Way to make it about you.

I texted my BFF when my 5 month old died. Frankly, I felt like a zombie that was in shock and by the end of the day, I was interested in talking to no one. I avoided phone convos for days and let everything go to voicemail.

So like people have said, it depends. But it's not always about you or your worthiness of a phone call.

[cleo29]

I thought maybe this was a breakup situation, the "put down the phone and come talk to me" made think that it is more about a relationship status vs. a death.

I could be wrong though.

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 21:45:16 GMT -5 lemon said:

Way to make it about you.

I texted my BFF when my 5 month old died. Frankly, I felt like a zombie that was in shock and by the end of the day, I was interested in talking to no one. I avoided phone convos for days and let everything go to voicemail.

So like people have said, it depends. But it's not always about you or your worthiness of a phone call.

I'm so sorry

[zoidberg]

When it is my bad news to share, sometimes it's just easier to do it in writing. Same reason I will post about difficult things here long before I am ready to tell anyone in real life. You can let it out without having to deal with the other person's emotions and to some extent your own. I do not judge this at ALL.

[Captain Serious]

Sept 25, 2013 21:45:16 GMT -5 lemon said:

Way to make it about you.

I texted my BFF when my 5 month old died. Frankly, I felt like a zombie that was in shock and by the end of the day, I was interested in talking to no one. I avoided phone convos for days and let everything go to voicemail.

So like people have said, it depends. But it's not always about you or your worthiness of a phone call.

Oh, heavens, Lemon. I'm so sorry you had to live through this. I wish you all the comfort in the world.

[bania]

Sept 25, 2013 21:45:16 GMT -5 lemon said:

Way to make it about you.

I texted my BFF when my 5 month old died. Frankly, I felt like a zombie that was in shock and by the end of the day, I was interested in talking to no one. I avoided phone convos for days and let everything go to voicemail.

So like people have said, it depends. But it's not always about you or your worthiness of a phone call.

I'm so sorry lemon. ((hugest hugs))

[meganew]

Sept 25, 2013 21:45:16 GMT -5 lemon said:

Way to make it about you.

I texted my BFF when my 5 month old died. Frankly, I felt like a zombie that was in shock and by the end of the day, I was interested in talking to no one. I avoided phone convos for days and let everything go to voicemail.

So like people have said, it depends. But it's not always about you or your worthiness of a phone call.

(((Lemon)))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[isabel]

I texted my mom and my best friend/boss that my dog died earlier this year. I wasn't able to have an actual conversation with anyone without bawling my eyes out and sounding like I was choking for at least a couple days. Texting just seemed easier.

My mom texted me yesterday that my grandfather had a heart attack. Again, I think it's easier to explain things via text than over the phone.

I don't judge it. The information is given either way. At least I know.

eta: Hugs to lemon and all of you who have lost someone close.

[melindafelinda]

My ex told me he wanted a divorce via text- not okay
Delivering terrible, unspeakable, tragic bad news via text- okay

I feel like vaba is never coming back here to explain herself

[speckledfrog]

Watch it be something like her roommate ate her leftovers or something like that.

[Deleted]

There's a little bit of backstory here. Before we got married his parents wanted me to file for bankruptcy for my ~$7,000 debt. I didn't want to so I has to sign a prenup. I did it because I figured I was actually marrying him because I loved him so what did it matter. He doesn't have money, his parents do.

Long story longer, we are moving on Sunday. We applied and we accepted for this cute little house. Everything's fine. I found out today that that's not where we are actually moving and that he bought a house with his parents as a co-signer and it's been kept a secret from me.

I'm afraid that he's getting ready to leave me or something, and there won't be anything I can do about it.

[speckledfrog]

Yes.  That is some serious shit right there.

[janegold]

What the actual fuck.


Yeah, that's not the sort of thing that would be appropriately delivered via text message. Or ever.

[TrickyBob]

Uh, if my husband went behind my back and bought a house with his parents without telling me, I wouldn't be worried he'd leave me.

I'd leave his co-dependent ass.

[zoidberg]

That does not fall under the heading of "delivering bad news". That is dropping a bomb.

[melindafelinda]

How old are you two crazy kids?

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 23:36:16 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

How old are you two crazy kids?

I am 24. He just turned 28.

[bania]

Delivering bad news via text is what's least worrisome in this scenario. How did they know about your debt in the first place? Why would anyone expect someone to declare bankruptcy over $7,000? I can't believe he did this. This is insane.

[sugarbear]

Yikes.
I don't think I'd wait around to see if he's leaving. I think I'd be out the door myself.
I'm sorry

[birdistheword]

Holy shit. That's some shady stuff. Is he the one who sent you the text? Was there no follow-up explanation from him? Sorry you are dealing with this

[Ace]

Damn. This more than just bad news. That house would not be where I would move to.

[annyong]

Wait, what? We need more details / information. You were approved for the other house? So he bought two houses? Or you thought you were approved / never signed anything for the one house?

What exactly did his text say? This is crazy.