The one that came to my head first is random, but I always tell brides that they should pick one aspect of the wedding where they give their vendor full reign to do whatever they think would be awesome. We did this with our cake--just said no fondant, gave her a copy of the invitation for colors, and let her at it. It turned out amazing, and it was so fun to have a surprise for us at the wedding.
I've learned to stop giving a shit what people think of me. You can't please everybody anyway. I'm much happier, and much more "myself." And, ironically, I think it makes me more likeable to a lot of people.
Post by redredwine on Feb 26, 2014 13:33:25 GMT -5
I feel like I'm giving quite a few people this advice (and usually the same people, lol) The only person that can make you happy is YOU-not a paycheck (though that helps!), not a person, etc. If you're not happy, the only way to change that is to do something about it. This goes for a job, a relationship, a location, a career, etc.
Don't sell yourself short and think you're ever "stuck" in a situation-a career, school, a relationship. Do not settle. It's easy to get complacent and think there's no way out. There's always a way out. You always have options, but you may have to work hard to make that option happen.
On a related note: if you're not happy with your self, you can't expect to be happy in a relationship.
Great advice shared with me: If you don't like your boss, that sucks but you're stuck with them. Find out what they like/how they work and make them look good. Get on their side, they'll support you. (yes, doesn't apply to EVERY boss, but this has certainly helped me a time or two with a big payoff)
Also: You're stronger than you think you are.
from MM: stop using credit cards and start using mint.com
Post by jerzgirl25 on Feb 26, 2014 13:34:41 GMT -5
"Fake it 'til you make it"
Don't have babies until you've done some living yourself. Now that dh and I have ds (and no family help), I'm really glad that we followed this advice; traveled, barhopped, had tons of time for just us, etc.
Never try to use the sewing machine after 10 pm is advice my mother once gave me that I have found to be true over and over again. Not going to change your whole life, but whenever I find myself cursing at the machine I realize it's always after 10 and I just turn it off.
Some of the best advice I ever got came from my dad when I got married. He said that you always need to working to build your spouse up. Every day when you go out into the world there are so many people ready to tear you down, and it's important that when you regroup at the end of the day you have someone there to help build you back up.
advice i'm always giving - be willing to try new things. yet, if you start down a path and realize it isn't where you want to be, admit it and correct course. very few things in life are irreversible - they might be costly to reverse (money, time, and energy), but that fear shouldn't hold us back from trying.
If you don't know exactly what your passion is or how you would turn that into a career, just get good at something marketable and get on with it. Be as good at that as you can, and leverage it into a life with enough time and flexibility to meet your wants and needs.
Letting go of the idea that I need to discover my PASSION and pursue my DESTINY has been wonderfully freeing.
"if something hasn't been completed by 4pm on thursday, it doesn't get done that week." j/k, that was advice from my 1st manager, and somehow his swarmy voice has stuck with me
More importantly: dont' be afraid to ask for what you want.
On our wedding day, a work client and friend of mine took us both aside and said: "Always be a team. Pull together like those big horses and you can move mountains. With teamwork, you can do anything together." He died soon after and we have never forgotten his words and we both give this advice out to others since it has never failed us, not even on our darkest days.
To all my single girlfriends and nieces: "If he doesn't make your life better, he is not for you."
ETA: This last one sounds sexist when I read it again. I would say this to any person in a relationship of any kind.
Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side simply because there's more manure over there.
Worrying isn't going to help. Do something about it, and if you can't then let it go.
Sometimes happiness means more than money.
My mom used to say, "If it's not yours, don't touch it." I found myself repeating that a lot when I was a substitute teacher and I imagine I'll say it if/when I'm a mom.
Relationship related was the song "Hold On Loosely" by 38 Special - basically don't smother the person. Work wise - was a discussion with a early boss of mine who told me how important it was to have a good work / life balance. Finance wise - just the example of my parents who were great role models in not going into debt, not spending above their means etc.
If you're stuck on a problem, go out for a run/walk/whatever repetitive motion you dig & let your mind wander. I got this advice a decade ago when I entered a graduate program. I had forgotten it until recently, on ML, I was spending a bunch of time rocking my baby to sleep. I found solutions to several problems for my thesis (different grad program) during those 2am rocking sessions.
Post by explorer2001 on Feb 26, 2014 14:16:32 GMT -5
You are enough. Whatever is going on in your life (work craziness, illness, family trouble), you are enough. You can handle more than you think you can.
You can't be everything to everyone. You can please some people some of the time, but you can't please everyone all of the time. Make sure you please the people who matter including yourself.
Be the best you that you can be, you will never get the chance to be anyone else.
Whatever you do, you will have to live with the consequences (good and bad).
Make sure you can look yourself in the mirror every morning and say I did my best.
Your best will change with time. It can even be different from one day to the next.
Honor, integrity, compassion and justice are priceless.
When you have to choose between laughing and screaming or crying, laugh. Then cry if you need to.
There is no courage in strength that is never tested. There is no courage without fear and choosing to do it anyway.
Being vulnerable is not the same thing as being weak.
The truth comes out in the end. Your true character is shown in your everyday actions.
When having a hard time trying to make a decision, a friend would tell me to look ahead, and figure out which option I would regret later ... I've found that it's helpful to pin down my feelings on choices I'm having a hard time making.
Post by changedname on Feb 26, 2014 14:28:27 GMT -5
I always think about the famous Maya Angelou quote " When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time ". I think it is often very true.
My family has a family motto (I think my grandma made it up) "trust no bugger". Basically it means to always be a little skeptical and question things, don't blindly trust everyone. It's a bit cynical but I think the general idea is a good one to follow (be your own advocate etc).
Post by dr.girlfriend on Feb 26, 2014 14:38:17 GMT -5
I've mentioned this before, but in college I did a study on regret, and (for a variety of reasons) people vastly regret the things they DIDN'T do, not the things they did. This has really helped me make some big leaps in my life, and I've never regretted any of them. "Anything worth doing is scary as hell" is another mantra of mine. :-)