MM would have a field day with this couple

[Deleted]

They like really want a baby, guys but the big bad economy won't let them. I love unsympathetic journalism couples.

www.washingtonpost.com/news/storyline/wp/2014/07/18/dreams-of-having-a-baby-deferred-by-the-economy/?hpid=z2

I feel like this is a damned onion piece.

[ttt]

Okay, I've only gotten one paragraph into it, but who babyproofs their house before they've even conceived a child?

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 11:39:46 GMT -5 ttt said:

Okay, I've only gotten one paragraph into it, but who babyproofs their house before they've even conceived a child?

Keep reading, yo.

The basic premise here is that they want a baby but only if they can have it on their perfect, shiny, white privilege midwestern sensibilities.

[ttt]

I also don't understand how people who make $125k in some years can't manage to put away enough savings to cover buying new tires and fixing their washing machine.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 11:44:58 GMT -5 ttt said:

I also don't understand how people who make $125k in some years can't manage to put away enough savings to cover new tires and fix their washing machine.

Did you see the pics of their house? Nicely painted walls, new furniture, nicely decorated. He drives a truck, she drives an SUV. And the house is apparently in a nice subdivision, probably bought about five years ago judging by the timeline.

ETA: I'm obviously a poor but I can't help thinking that if they got rid of the trappings of what they think they should have, sold the house, moved into a one bedroom apartment for a while and downgraded their vehicles, they could afford a couple rounds of IF treatments in short order. Then they could move into a two bedroom apartment, live below their means for a while and eventually buy a house again.

MO is fairly LCOL, isn't it?

[pamela]

If she'd quit buying baby crap for non-existant baby and save, maybe she'd be able to afford to pay for the IVF instead of whining to a newspaper about how it's the "economy's" fault even though they bring home a decent salary for where they live.

[ttt]

“Why should the economy play into my family planning?” Melissa asks.

[ttt]

OK I know that Googling/Facebooking/etc. subjects of news stories is frowned upon here, but I just have to say that when you google them, one of the first things that pops up is their baby registry.

[sushi]

Jul 22, 2014 11:52:51 GMT -5 ttt said:

OK I know that Googling/Facebooking/etc. subjects of news stories is frowned upon here, but I just have to say that when you google them, one of the first things that pops up is their baby registry.

I don't frown upon your fine detective work.

[eponinepontmercy]

“What if we never have children?” Melissa asks her husband as they sit at the kitchen table. “What are we going to do, go on vacation all the time?”

I feel very sorry for people who can't have the family they envisioned, but this sort of makes me want to throw things.  

[Deleted]

Wait, we frown upon Googling/FBing subjects of news stories? Was I gone that long?

[Velar Fricative]

Jul 22, 2014 11:39:46 GMT -5 ttt said:

Okay, I've only gotten one paragraph into it, but who babyproofs their house before they've even conceived a child?

I read the first paragraph and then came back here to post this. Why the fuck would anyone put gate shit on doorways unnecessarily? Those things are annoying.

[meshaliuknits]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:30 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Wait, we frown upon Googling/FBing subjects of news stories? Was I gone that long?

LOL

I thought we just frowned upon googling minors a la Jaide?

[josieposy]

I understand their hesitation to a point, but somebody needs to shake them and tell them there is never an ideal time.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:09 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

“What if we never have children?” Melissa asks her husband as they sit at the kitchen table. “What are we going to do, go on vacation all the time?”

I feel very sorry for people who can't have the family they envisioned, but this sort of makes me want to throw things.  

Apparently, the child free having meaningless existences filled only with meaningless travel. Is it too late to give back my children? Because that sounds appealing as hell.

Is it natural to have felt such rage each time she mentioned her vision of perfect little Aryan race dream children?

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:47 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Jul 22, 2014 11:39:46 GMT -5 ttt said:

Okay, I've only gotten one paragraph into it, but who babyproofs their house before they've even conceived a child?

I read the first paragraph and then came back here to post this. Why the fuck would anyone put gate shit on doorways unnecessarily? Those things are annoying.

Or those cabinet locks.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 11:56:26 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:30 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Wait, we frown upon Googling/FBing subjects of news stories? Was I gone that long?

LOL

I thought we just frowned upon googling minors a la Jaide?

I think we frown upon engaging or interacting with the results of our googling but other than that, uhm that's what makes it fun, right?

[Velar Fricative]

“What if we never have children?” Melissa asks her husband as they sit at the kitchen table. “What are we going to do, go on vacation all the time?”

Uhhhhhh, yeah? That sounds heavenly.

I promise I am not making light of anyone who wants to become a parent more than anything, because infertility sucks and it sucks to have to pay thousands of dollars to conceive when most people can do it for free. But that was just a weird comment.

Okay, back to reading the article because it sounds like it's going to get better.

[Velar Fricative]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:09 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

“What if we never have children?” Melissa asks her husband as they sit at the kitchen table. “What are we going to do, go on vacation all the time?”

I feel very sorry for people who can't have the family they envisioned, but this sort of makes me want to throw things.  

Ditto, I posted about that too before I saw your post.

[ringstrue]

Jul 22, 2014 11:41:22 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Jul 22, 2014 11:39:46 GMT -5 ttt said:

Okay, I've only gotten one paragraph into it, but who babyproofs their house before they've even conceived a child?

Keep reading, yo.

The basic premise here is that they want a baby but only if they can have it on their perfect, shiny, white privilege midwestern sensibilities.

BUT THEIR CHILDREN WILL BOTH BE BLUE-EYED! Them blue eyeds needs their upper-middle-class cul de sac-y neighborhood with a house furnished in the latest from Home Goods!!!1 

[meshaliuknits]

Jul 22, 2014 11:58:50 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Jul 22, 2014 11:56:26 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

LOL

I thought we just frowned upon googling minors a la Jaide?

I think we frown upon engaging or interacting with the results of our googling but other than that, uhm that's what makes it fun, right?

Unless it brings up GlitterGate 2014 which would be acceptable. 

[nerdicorn]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:09 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

“What if we never have children?” Melissa asks her husband as they sit at the kitchen table. “What are we going to do, go on vacation all the time?”

I feel very sorry for people who can't have the family they envisioned, but this sort of makes me want to throw things.  

For real. I absolutely sympathize with people struggling with IF but these folks do have the means to pay for treatment-- something poor infertile people don't have. They just aren't willing to sacrifice anything to get what they want and sound like whiny assholes.

[pirate]

I have a Facebook acquaintance who has decided to try to solve this same problem with a gofundme page.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 12:00:52 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Jul 22, 2014 11:58:50 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

I think we frown upon engaging or interacting with the results of our googling but other than that, uhm that's what makes it fun, right?

Unless it brings up GlitterGate 2014 which would be acceptable. 

Hey! Once they come here, all bets are fucking off lol

[ttt]

Jul 22, 2014 11:55:30 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Wait, we frown upon Googling/FBing subjects of news stories? Was I gone that long?

There was a discussion about this in the thread about the couple who didn't feed their baby. And I think it has come up a few times before. 

It is not a viewpoint I particularly agree with. 

[ringstrue]

Isn't an electrician job one of those things you should basically plan on having swings in pay? Wont they need daycare if she is going to need her stable job?

I wonder what their car payments are like.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2014 12:01:23 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

I think its ones of those things that you will never know how much it sucks until you have kids and if they can't, they will always have this idealized dream that will be bittersweet b.c they cant have it. no amount of parents telling them it sucks will be believed, ever.

I'm honestly not upset with them for wanting kids. I truly understand that desire and I would be heartbroken if it looked like I would be unable to have children.

What I'm needling this couple for is their idealized vision of what having children looks like, what they need to accomplish that, and their seemingly unwillingness to sacrifice or even just alter their expectations in order to achieve it.

They don't just want two blond haired, blue eyed babies. They want a certain lifestyle model in which to raise those children. I just can't muster up much sympathy for that.

[Velar Fricative]

I definitely do judge the fact that they've bought baby shit instead of using that money towards IVF.

I do not judge them for being upset that IVF costs a lot of money. I understand why it does but it is a darn shame that IVF is out of reach for many families willing to go that route for a child or children. We make decent money but it would take a long time for us to come up with $15,000 for IVF.

But don't worry, I do judge them for other reasons so I'm not here to be a Debbie Downer lol.

[ijack]

I feel for them because IF is hard and I have a good friend that went into debt to do IVF. However the endless talk about knowing what their baby will look like is just ridiculous. There are so many other ways to be a parent - foster a kid, adopt (I know it's not cheap), sell your house and live bare bones for a year. Stop whining and do something!!!

[msmerymac]

Jul 22, 2014 11:52:51 GMT -5 ttt said:

OK I know that Googling/Facebooking/etc. subjects of news stories is frowned upon here, but I just have to say that when you google them, one of the first things that pops up is their baby registry.

I feel like this will be @nugget 's sister after her wedding.