OP, I would not be waiting for a pta meeting. It should obviously be discussed there as well, but I would not hesitate another day before taking this to the superintendent and/or the school board, ideally using miso's lettee.
What a horrible experience for your son. I'm so sorry he had to go through that.
In addition to burning shit down, I would ask why parents weren't informed of such a rule at orientation. If it's a school wide rule, everyone should know about it. And it should be in writing.
Post by RoxMonster on Sept 1, 2015 19:04:17 GMT -5
OMG I cannot imagine a district or school having this policy. Absolutely go to the superintendent and if his/her response is not acceptable, escalate to the school board/local media.
This coming from a HS teacher who is fully aware a select few kids may try to misuse their restroom pass but I still always let kids go to the restroom when they must.
I would be "burn the motherfucker down" livid. Not okay.
This!
Not quite the same thing but when I was 13 I had my first kidney stone. The doctor told me I had to drink a crazy amount of water (like 2 gallons a day) to prevent more. Schools response - why didn't I just drink it during lunch and when I was home. Umm, really? So I had to get a doctors note to carry water.
Well, what happens when you drink all that water? You have to pee frequently. The teachers had issue with the fact that I had to go during class and couldn't always just go between classes and would refuse to let me leave. There were many times I just went even when told no because I just couldn't wait. I had to get another doctor note allowing me to go to the bathroom during class.
I get that class time is important but when it's a one time thing (emergency) or when it would make logical sense (all that water) when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Post by thebuddhagouda on Sept 1, 2015 19:08:23 GMT -5
If the principal wasnt helpful i would be escalating to the district. No child should have to popping their pants. That is so unacceptable. I just can't fathom the teacher not caring that had happened to a 6 yo. That's still a baby.
Unbelievable. But on the other hand, this policy is clearly needed to avoid going down that slippery slope towards....6-year-olds going to the bathroom when they need to. Yeah, sorry. I'd drop a Steaming Hot Carl in that teacher's purse.
I would be "burn the motherfucker down" livid. Not okay.
Totally this!!!!!
ETA- read further- not acceptable district policy- at all. Demand a copy of the written policy, including an owner of the policy and the adoption date. Call your school district; make an appt to see the school board member assigned to your school; email your local education news reporters. Also submit an open records request asking about when/ how this policy was developed and what data they have to support it/ include in there requests for all correspondence arising out of it related to adoption of the policy, including all emails, meeting minutes, notice of said meetings. Good luck!
You've gotten a great letter here. I would also include dowagers article and see if you can find any others. Also see what you can find as far as research articles regarding reasonable expectations for bodily habits of elementary age children. Pull it all together and insist on meeting with the superintendent tomorrow.
Post by hopecounts on Sept 1, 2015 19:19:36 GMT -5
I would be livid. I would be asking to see the written policy and contacting the school board in the morning I would also send the article above about the school system being sued over this. While students should try to make use of the bathroom breaks our bodies are not always that compliant if a student needs to go they should be allowed to excuse themselves.
As others have said, you have EVERY right to be angry. Poor guy. How humiliating.
There are children who ask to go to the bathroom hourly, just to get out of class. Even if he was one of those children (not saying he IS), the district and your teacher need to have some compassion in the first fricken week of school!
Post by lovelyshoes on Sept 1, 2015 19:24:54 GMT -5
I am so sorry that this happened to your son. That completely unacceptable! I would have the dr call the principal, tell my son to use the restroom whenever he needed it and contact the board ASAP. This is some Bull!
I'm pretty sure I would channel my fury into a lawsuit. Because I would sue that school if the district didn't temporarily suspend the policy pending further review and a permanent change. I don't know what the exact claim would be, but false imprisonment, child endangerment, negligence, fraud, and infliction of emotional distress, all sound like interesting theories
I wouldn't sue for money - at least, not for myself. That makes you look like the McDonalds coffee woman* and undermines your claim. But I would sue on behalf of a class of students to get the law changed, and maybe for punitive damages that I would then donate to a child abuse charity. You might not be able to make punitives stick, but I bet you could get the rule changed.
I actually think that this comes pretty close to be criminal. She may have only been reckless, and maybe that's enough to keep it civil, but regardless, it was egregious and you don't have to accept the principal's approach to this.
If you don't get an answer you like from the school, I would seriously urge you to start googling children's rights groups and local plaintiffs lawyers who do class action cases. You will want a big firm with a good reputation, ideally one that sues schools for things like disability violations, because this might take some creativity and risk, I'm sure there's little precedent and there may be sovereign immunity issues, but if it were me, I would try it unless they change the rule.
But- I don't see the problem with making him go to the nurse's office. Presumably they don't want them alone in the students bathroom to prevent older kids from hurting them.
*She actually was not overly litigious, she had serious scars after the coffee burned her.
Post by orangeblossom on Sept 1, 2015 19:38:35 GMT -5
Ridiculous.
Who approved this policy? It's not medically prudent to make children only go at certain a times, and I'm, this is life, and people may need to go outside of the prescribed times.
This sounds like a lot of school policies, where's they thought in black and white, and it's going to be more trouble to go back tans advise, once it's challenged (as it should be), than if they'd written an appropriate policy in the first place.
So upset for your DS I had to post again. There is so much emphasis on stopping bullying...but they will let a kid shit their pants...that is one way horrible nicknames get started.
Not to mention UTIs, constipation, fecal retention and encopresis.
Also, print of articles about bladder or urinary tract infections as well as spastic colon. These are side effects from holding it too long.
Yes! This is what I was thinking reading through the responses. Holding urine can cause UTIs and bladder infections.
In what fucked up world does any human tell another person that they may not relieve themselves? Jesus. This pisses me off so much and I just want to give your son a hug. Poor kid.
Please update when you know more. I'm very curious to see how this plays out.
When I first read this I thought he was in 6th grade. I was livid! Then I saw that he was 6 and I am burning mad for you. I would be "burn that shut down" level made and then some. Not ok! That is fucking ridiculous. Policy shmolicy!
My dd just started K and the teacher said that if they have to use the restroom, they are to put their hand up with a thumbs up.
I just asked my 5 year old DS. His teacher has them raise their hand with their fingers crossed and she gives them permission. They take breaks as a class, but they do have the "three times per day" rule...but that is three times individually, outside of their group bathroom breaks, since children have different bowel and bladder habits, and aren't trained to only pee at certain times, like my dog does.
This story makes me so angry - I swear my blood pressure just shot up when I read it.
Fwiw, that happened to me when I was in first grade. I kept telling the teacher that I had to go....and she wouldn't let me. I peed on the floor and blamed it on another boy (!). My mom's friend had to bring a change of clothes to school since mom was somewhere else.
My mom went in and had words with the teacher, who apologized profusely to both of us.
Doctor's note is being picked up first thing in the morning. I should have added that I spoke with the principal immediately after speaking with the teacher, and while very apologetic, she basically echoed everything the teacher said and stuck to the "district policy". He'll have to use the office restroom, with the doctor's note. He, under no circumstances, will be allowed to walk the 3 steps to the restroom across from his classroom. Ridiculous.
It's time to go over the principal's head. That's BS.