She sounds like she's is never satisfied. How is the relationship on their terms when they are coming to see her and even that still isn't enough? We stay at MIL's but I would prefer a hotel. She would probably kill me though. Actual murder.
I'd think we were related except I'm the only black person in H's family. I checked. lol
You saw MIL naked, or you walked in on MIL and FIL going at it, or MIL or FIL walked in on you and your H. Did I get it right?
Oh Jesus.
I am not clear where they sleep when we are not there. MIL sleeps in a twin bed in the other bedroom when we are there, and FIL sleeps in a recliner. But MIL keeps her clothes and makeup and stuff like that in the bedroom where we sleep. Last time we were there, it was for one night. MIL had left some clothes on the bed, which turned out to be a pair of pants with a pair of underwear inside. I picked them up to move them, and...something was...wet.
Talk about not trusting your one hand to get the other hand clean.
PDQ. My H doesn't check here regularly or anything, but he knows my SN so I may delete this later.
Oh god, I started reading this and thought it might be my MIL. I like my ILs well enough, but the thought of staying with them kind of makes me want to claw my eyes out.
For me it isn't even a space issue, it is a smothering issue. And the whole family unit makes it worse. So MIL might not say STAY WITH ME but both SILs will say STAY WITH MIL/FIL, You owe them. Combine that with a constant insistence that we spend every.waking.moment with them and FIL not really talking to me, and yeah I just want my space.
Luckily, DH loves my parents. And my parents are very breezy. So when we stay with them, they are fine just leaving us alone.
Post by cattledogkisses on Nov 4, 2015 12:45:11 GMT -5
I have no desire at this point in my life to be sleeping on a blow up mattress on someone's floor. I would absolutely get a hotel room in that scenario.
ETA: Not meant to be snarky - it's hilarious and words won't do it justice. Just trying to give some advice, because it's NSFW.
Huh. It's..
Huh.
I mean, I guess so. Makes sense there's a market for that. Would have picked a different name though cause fleshlight sounds a little... "Silence of the Lambs" skinsuit-y.
A male masturbatorial (is that a word?) aide. It looks like a flashlight, but where you would have the glass and bulb, there is a piece of fleshy material (silicon? rubber?) with an opening that looks like a mouth.
tacosforlife, just give us a hint. If you can't bring yourself to say it, say, "It rhymes with..." For example, "I opened a bathroom drawer and found something that rhymes with 'fresh bright.'"
WAIT! I feel like I'm remembering someone's story here! Didn't someone go in the shower after her FIL or father and there was a flesh light just sitting there? Was that you?
ETA: Not meant to be snarky - it's hilarious and words won't do it justice. Just trying to give some advice, because it's NSFW.
Huh. It's..
Huh.
I mean, I guess so. Makes sense there's a market for that. Would have picked a different name though cause fleshlight sounds a little... "Silence of the Lambs" skinsuit-y.
Post by cattledogkisses on Nov 4, 2015 12:49:13 GMT -5
The bottom line really is that there's no point in making people miserable or uncomfortable just so you can say that you all spent the holidays under one roof. There's no point in togetherness if everyone's in a rotten mood.
ETA: Not meant to be snarky - it's hilarious and words won't do it justice. Just trying to give some advice, because it's NSFW.
Huh. It's..
Huh.
I mean, I guess so. Makes sense there's a market for that. Would have picked a different name though cause fleshlight sounds a little... "Silence of the Lambs" skinsuit-y.
Huh.
I went to one of those Pure Romance parties, and they sold something called a "pocket pussy." It looked like a much smaller version of one of those pool floaties that you stick on your arms.
God, I can't wait until the day that we have children and I can convince my H that we need to stay in a hotel when we visit his parents. I do not enjoy sharing a double bed (what are we, animals?) that smells like dog and hearing MIL's oxygen machine clicking while I try (unsuccessfully) to sleep.
Last time we were there, one of the grossest things ever happened to me. So gross that I have told nobody, not even H. Typing it out seems like it would make it real. I almost vomited from the grossness. Ugh. I do not want to go back at Christmas.
My MIL gets on my nerves but at least she gives me the king size bed I desire and deserve. They have three bedrooms with king size beds, it's glorious. Their house is ridiculous for two people, but nice for us when we visit.
That said, we have 4 bedrooms at our house and a huge bonus room. In the past, my BIL and his wife have come to visit with their kid (they now have two, but just had one during these previous visits). One time, I was convinced to let everyone stay with us. So it was BIL/SIL/kid, MIL/FIL, OtherSIL/Other/BIL and us. I was like... NEVER AGAIN. The next time it came up I put my foot down and told my MIL/FIL they had to get a hotel, because a) they only told us they were coming 1 week before the actual trip and everyone lives 6-9 hours away, so I had figured they weren't coming (they had already declined when we invited them initially, b) my brother was also going to be here instead of OtherSIL/BIL and I wasn't going to inflict my in laws on him more than necessary since he's not legally or blood related to them, and c) the bathroom situation. We have 3 bathrooms. With my BIL/SIL/kid and my brother here, I could give each adult or adult couple their own bathroom which I think is necessary. Technically we could have moved the kids into our bedroom instead of having them share Jackson's room or set up something in our bonus room (but we actually put the baby in the bonus room) and had my ILs share a bathroom with their son/his wife or have my brother share with my BIL/SIL but to me, the bathroom situation is important. EVERYONE NEEDS THEIR OWN SPACE FOR SHITTING. Also their own space to use washcloths on their ass or not. THE END.
I was cringing reading that. Carolyn responded much nicer than I would have. I hope the lady takes her advice.
There is no way the mother will take the advice. I know that because she considered them staying 1 day at her house a compromise. That's not a compromise!!!!
Post by ChillyMcFreeze on Nov 4, 2015 13:09:37 GMT -5
OMG this is my life!! My mom might have written this!
DH has major social anxiety. He can be around family for the holidays, but he will hang out upstairs if there isn't explicitly a family activity happening downstairs. We can go to visit on Friday, but we're leaving at midnight on Saturday so he can wake up at home on Sunday. He will find an excuse to run to the store every couple of hours just to get away. That doesn't mean we don't like seeing family or we hate our parents. He just has different social needs, and my mom cannot seem to wrap her mind around that.
I mean, I guess so. Makes sense there's a market for that. Would have picked a different name though cause fleshlight sounds a little... "Silence of the Lambs" skinsuit-y.
Huh.
I went to one of those Pure Romance parties, and they sold something called a "pocket pussy." It looked like a much smaller version of one of those pool floaties that you stick on your arms.
This is something I just did not expect to see in this thread.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Nov 4, 2015 13:19:50 GMT -5
We get hotel rooms whenever we visit family. I HATE not having my own space. And I like to be able to leave whenever I want and get away. I'd be really resentful of anyone who tried to make me change that.
My MIL, YSIL and I went to NC for OSIL when she was having a baby. MIL tried to make me sleep with YSIL who was 12/13 at time on a fucking futon. While she got the blow up all by herself. All 3 of us in little room in an apartment. I laid down and it awkward as fuck so I got up and slept on the couch for 2 weeks. I had been in my accident 6 months before this so I was in pain.
She also said some brainless shit about the accident. I lost family and it made me want to throw her off the 3rd balcony.
I went to one of those Pure Romance parties, and they sold something called a "pocket pussy." It looked like a much smaller version of one of those pool floaties that you stick on your arms.
This is something I just did not expect to see in this thread.
decemberwedding07, thanks for that last post. I couldn't remember what it was that I bought for DH from one of those parties, lol. The fleshlight sounds better as a disguise.
But honestly DH said he felt ridiculous trying it out. He'd just handle the situation when I was out of town the traditional way. Pun intended.
tacosforlife, that is a horrible thing to experience. And then again, I think I'd still rather that than seeing my FIL's junk or something creepy like that, which is what I was thinking.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Nov 4, 2015 13:38:19 GMT -5
MIL once offered up our house to BIL's family to stay. At the time, we lived in a 2-bedroom townhouse and our spare bed was a futon.
She also got really indignant that the entire family wouldn't spend the night at Christmas after she and FIL split up. Woman, I live 4 miles from you. I'm not sleeping on an air mattress in the living room with my single-digit age cousins, and if I'm too drunk, I'm getting a cab.
Post by granthamite on Nov 4, 2015 13:39:00 GMT -5
I agree with everyone else in that mom needs to back off. On the other hand, I'm also the mom to two boys and I dread that one of them will marry a shrew and we'll never see him again.
After 10 years together though, I'd just be honest as to why I want a hotel room. Not enough guest bedrooms, uncomfortable mattress, you keep your house too damn hot, pet allergies, bathroom sharing, etc. I wouldn't leave it vague especially if they persisted like this woman does.
How does she think this is going to go?? The DIL is going to receive her letter and say "oh my goodness I am so sorry! I want to come and stay with you right this minute! Let's all have a group hug!"
Post by tacoflavoredkisses on Nov 4, 2015 13:54:54 GMT -5
I don't understand the part about the MIL and DIL needing to accept each other the way they are in her answer. It didn't sound to me like the DIL doesn't like MIL- just that the son and DIL didn't want to carpool or stay overnight.