But for real, that's pretty shitty of him, op. I know what it's like to be married to a man with an insanely high sex drive, and it can sometimes feel like a burden (I don't know if that's the right word). It's exhausting either way.
He'll come home from oot and instantly want to have sex. I've had to tell him many times, HELL NO. I spend all that time dealing with kids, the pets, the house, etc. I need a day to unwind and get back to feeling myself. He still doesn't get it. Either that or he's playing dumb.
If I say I'm too tired for sex,where I do 1/2 the work and get 1/2 the benefits, you have got some mother fucking brass ones thinking you can follow up by asking me for a bj, where I'm stuck doing all the work for none of the benefits.
Right? I cannot get over that part. I could conceivably still watch tv during sex but my view is definitely blocked during a bj. Plus more work. Way way way more work.
H acted all hurt and offended once when I glanced at the TV while he was going down on me.
Ooookay, like you've NEVER sat there watching full episodes of American Pickers while I give you a bj.
Right? I cannot get over that part. I could conceivably still watch tv during sex but my view is definitely blocked during a bj. Plus more work. Way way way more work.
Did you see the Adele skit? So funny. I would have had to pause for that shit.
I just don't get how they can, like, transition in 10 seconds from building an IKEA bookcase to wanting to have sex.
Their brains are broken, yes?
I think my mom read a book back in the 70s that was all about how men are just deformed women. I think it brought up how most things in nature are symmetrical. Our XX chromosomes to their XYs.
dirtyred I can totally understand where you're coming from. I got those kind of "suggestions" right after DS3 was born (I mean right after I got home after having a c-section) and he'd give me what he thought were "sultry looks". Barf. I wanted to poke both his eyes out with a V of my hand. I mean here's a grown man of 45. What part of "NO, I'M TIRED AND STRESSED AND GRRRRRR!" don't you understand??
This was 22-1/2 years ago and it still pisses me off.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
You wanna know the fastest way to get me to want to have sex? Don't expect it. Just make out with me. Make me think it isn't going to happen.
Nothing makes me want something like thinking I can't have it. So....make me think its off the table. lol
Sunday I had just come back from grocery shopping, I had been feeling like crap all day....but while my kid was napping, H started making out with me. No expectations. And that got him something he hadn't had since early October. lol
I just don't get how they can, like, transition in 10 seconds from building an IKEA bookcase to wanting to have sex.
Their brains are broken, yes?
We can be sitting in the living room playing with our INNOCENT CHILDREN and he will whisper "wanna go into our room?" and wink.Â
WE ARE PLAYING DOLLS WITH OUR TWO YEAR OLD. HOW, LITERALLY HOW, CAN YOU BE THINKING ABOUT SEX RIGHT NOW?!?!
Yes, I don't understand any of this!!! They're able to switch it on so fucking fast- I'd love to know what that feels like, but here I am burdened with thinking about allllllll the shit that has to get done or planned or calls that need to be made. I can't just float along through life on a boner kite.
Right? I cannot get over that part. I could conceivably still watch tv during sex but my view is definitely blocked during a bj. Plus more work. Way way way more work.
I'm not saying I watched SNL while we had sex Saturday night... but I sorta watched SNL while we had sex Saturday night. In my defense, I paid attention to H during commercial breaks.
Not saying I've done something similar in the past, but not saying I haven't either. lol
Meanwhile, update: I came down from stressing upstairs and he was asleep on the sofa. I shit you not. We had it out- I laid out all my shit, I cried (which I don't do while fighting), and he feels like a huge fucking asshole. Tons of apologies. I told him to prove it, so, we'll see.
He is sufficiently remorseful though. And embarrassed.
Agreed on all accounts. xH never quite understood that a little blatant manipulation (kissing, nuzzling, saying "I want you") was worth the effort. Just flopping your dick out and saying, "I just took a shower. Wanna put it in your mouth?" isn't enough damn effort. And no, showering isn't incentive enough to want to dole out gratuitous blow jobs. Sorry not sorry, idiot.
We can be sitting in the living room playing with our INNOCENT CHILDREN and he will whisper "wanna go into our room?" and wink.
WE ARE PLAYING DOLLS WITH OUR TWO YEAR OLD. HOW, LITERALLY HOW, CAN YOU BE THINKING ABOUT SEX RIGHT NOW?!?!
Yes, I don't understand any of this!!! They're able to switch it on so fucking fast- I'd love to know what that feels like, but here I am burdened with thinking about allllllll the shit that has to get done or planned or calls that need to be made. I can't just float along through life on a boner kite.
I'm not saying I watched SNL while we had sex Saturday night... but I sorta watched SNL while we had sex Saturday night. In my defense, I paid attention to H during commercial breaks.
Not saying I've done something similar in the past, but not saying I haven't either. lol
A little while after we were married, I was lobbying for a TV in the bedroom. DH found some stupid online thing that said that couples who have TVs in the bedroom have less sex. I said "If you want to get me in the bedroom for sex, the best way to do that is to put a TV in there." Boom! TV!
And during those times when I take one for the team I absolutely watch TV. In fact, he has to wait until I find what I want to watch before he can start.
And during those times when I take one for the team I absolutely watch TV. In fact, he has to wait until I find what I want to watch before he can start.
But why would your H even want to have sex those times when you are clearly so uninterested?
Because he has the libido of an 18 year old. In his perfect world, we'd be having sex twice a day, so he doesn't mind the occasional time when I watch TV. I'm sure he'd rather I be a more active participant, but he'll take some sex over no sex.
Also what makes me mad about the turning it on in10 seconds at inopportune times is that you come off looking like the bad guy if you turn him down. I hate to feel guilty for your bad planning and lack of common sense.
Also what makes me mad about the turning it on in10 seconds at inopportune times is that you come off looking like the bad guy if you turn him down. I hate to feel guilty for your bad planning and lack of common sense.
YESSSSS!!! This is our major sex issue.
He'll want sex at 10pm when I'm in bed, reading a book, and already sooo tired. EVERY.TIME. And I'm like, I'm winding down here! I need a head's up (lol) if you want sex later! Like at least a couple of hours notice!
Post by phdprocrastinator on Nov 23, 2015 18:49:01 GMT -5
This is our number one fight. DH doesn't get it, at all. I know it's not sexy, but I've got to schedule sex. Then we can plan around the craziness and get in the right head space. Otherwise I'm likely to be thinking about 10 million other things.
The other night I told him I fear having some ailment that makes sex difficult/impossible and he was surprised/denied that he's a jerk if he has to go a week without sex. Or, rather, he claimed he wouldn't be pushy if there was a legitimate reason for me to say no. Yeah, right.
I'm getting mad all over again.
(No sex was had after that fight and he eventually realized what a jerk he was being and apologized profusely).