Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 10:37:45 GMT -5
Everyone is gonna flame me, but I'm taking him. His situation is shit right now. This will be his 3rd home. I have all of the doggie stuff he needs, and J said he will help me if the dog needs to go to the vet. I rebudgeted and I should have an extra $300 a month without my second job. J will watch Chester when I'm at work because we work opposite shifts. Plus he will be hanging out with J's dog, Tim so they will be friends.
We got a free dog and while I adore her, I've dropped close to $1000 on her in the first 2 months. She needed shots, teeth cleaning, fixing and then had a hematoma on her ear that needed to be dealt with.
Everyone is gonna flame me, but I'm taking him. His situation is shit right now. This will be his 3rd home. I have all of the doggie stuff he needs, and J said he will help me if the dog needs to go to the vet. I rebudgeted and I should have an extra $300 a month without my second job. J will watch Chester when I'm at work because we work opposite shifts. Plus he will be hanging out with J's dog, Tim so they will be friends.
Yeah, I don't think it is the right decision for the dog. I am sure that you will love him but he could also find a home that has love and more financial stability.
Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 10:43:28 GMT -5
I am moving in with J. I do not have to pay rent at all while I am there because he knows I don't have a lot of money. I will be paying for all groceries and necessities and home fixes like paint, and DIY stuff. I can post my budget if you guys would like to help?
Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 10:48:05 GMT -5
That sucks because I'm really really trying hard. You guys know this because you haven't been mean to me lately LOL. I think everyone knows I'm really pushing to get better and get a full sense of myself again. I think the dog will help because I need that responsibility to get a grasp on my shit again. J is a good guy. I DO love him. I know it's not the most ideal situation but financially it will be good.
That sucks because I'm really really trying hard. You guys know this because you haven't been mean to me lately LOL. I think everyone knows I'm really pushing to get better and get a full sense of myself again. I think the dog will help because I need that responsibility to get a grasp on my shit again. J is a good guy. I DO love him. I know it's not the most ideal situation but financially it will be good.
I really do think you've been doing better and taking advice like a champ, but I don't agree with these decisions. Just a few weeks ago, you were playing with fire (lusting after a co-worker) so moving in doesn't really sound like the most stable plan. And moving in to be less strapped financially just makes you dependent on J....and I really think you should be focusing on being an independent adult.
Also, this logic isn't healthy...it's like saying "I'll just have a baby so I have something to keep me grounded and a reason for us to work on our relationship".
I think the dog will help because I need that responsibility to get a grasp on my shit again.
That's a big job to put on an innocent dog. I hope you understand what I mean by that.
Agreed. And really? Moving in with J cause it makes financial sense?
Shit if that were the case I should still be with my XBF! LFF, I don't doubt that you love J but let's be honest. You can't love him that much if you were willing to cheat on him with a co-worker.
I will say the same thing that I have said over and over and over to you: You NEED to be single. You NEED to work on yourself. Taking in this dog because it will teach you responsibility and moving in with J. are steps that are moving you in the WRONG direction.
Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 10:56:42 GMT -5
I just miss my pugs so much b/c xH has them. And I want my own dog. I have been doing really good getting myself together except for the work dude snafu. I seriously have been thinking long and hard about what I want. I think it's achievable. J and I work different schedules, we still will only see each other mainly on the weekends. Same as now. Instead of going back and forth between apartments/houses now we'll be in the same house. It just seems easier to me because we spend a lot of time driving back and forth.
How can J help out with dog expenses like Vet if he only has $70 left over each month? Annual visit is minimum $150-$300 for shots, etc. PLus you never know when they are going to get sick and you have to take them in and pay $50 exam fee + $$$ meds
ALSO moving in bc it makes FINANCIAL sense is the WORST idea ever.
Post by starburst604 on Sept 18, 2012 10:59:47 GMT -5
It seems like you're going to move in with J no matter what we say, so will you just promise us that you will squirrel away as much money as possible when you live with him? I'm serious, live like you are now, make every penny count. I really am pulling for him being a good guy and you guys working out. Just make every effort to not be in a situation where you aren't able to haul ass out of there due to your finances, if things don't turn out the way you want them to. That is a really shitty situation to be in, but if you have a financial cushion it makes it that much easier.
Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 11:01:07 GMT -5
And it may seem like I'm arguing and doing the typical Liubot "but but but but" but I'm not. I know where you guys are coming from. I really do. I understand and I appreciate it. I just have a lot of stress on my end, too. I have both of my parents who ADORE J, pushing for us to move in together, his family, too. That's all I hear. My mom and dad live very close to J's house and they told me flat out that I cannot move home. No if's and's or butt's. This is the next best thing. Everyone is really worried about me, and I understand why, but i'm okay. I'm better now than I've been in months. I know all of my decisions aren't perfect, but I'm trying to find my way.
It seems like you're going to move in with J no matter what we say, so will you just promise us that you will squirrel away as much money as possible when you live with him? I'm serious, live like you are now, make every penny count. I really am pulling for him being a good guy and you guys working out. Just make every effort to not be in a situation where you aren't able to haul ass out of there due to your finances, if things don't turn out the way you want them to. That is a really shitty situation to be in, but if you have a financial cushion it makes it that much easier.
This is the master plan. I make about $300 a month from my 2nd job. In addition to the $240 extra I have, it's all being banked into savings. I'm building my nest egg because I have NO idea where the future will bring me. It's been so crazy the past few years that I've learned to not be able to plan for much, but I do plan on having a huge chunk of change saved up. I've been anal about my money lately and I'm trying super duper hard. I have a plan to cancel my phone and get a prepaid and start rolling my own cigarettes to save money. I'm being as smart as I can.
Plus if I get the job at Planet Fitness it will be $500+ extra a month and I'm really hoping I get it.
I called an did a followup today to my interview and the GM said he will be calling me back for a second interview, so I'm very very hopeful. Plus I will be getting back in shape.
I can feel my life falling into place again and I don't feel so lost anymore.
Post by dakotadangerdog on Sept 18, 2012 11:10:44 GMT -5
WHY are you parents trying to get you to move in with him? You are supposedly an ADULT, you need to be living on your own, making your own decisions, and telling your parents to back the fuck off. It's not their business where you live. They should not have any say in your life decisions.
Neither of you can afford this dog. My dog chewed on a bone wrong, cracked a tooth, and it cost 600 bucks to fix. Then one day she got an eye infection, there's another 200 bucks with vet visit and meds. DOGS ARE NOT CHEAP.
Agreed. And really? Moving in with J cause it makes financial sense?
Shit if that were the case I should still be with my XBF!
Move in with me!!!!!!!!!!1 Let's all move in together!!!! It makes financial sense yo
BK if you didn't make me pay rent and I paid for groceries and essentials, I'd move in with you in a heart beat! LOL. I would rather live with a girlfriend than my SO right now, but it's too difficult to come up with the money. I've been out on my own for the past 9 years. It's so hard to just be like "um, I'm fucked can I move home to mom and dad?" and when they say no it's like "Oh shit. What now?" I'm making the best of a shitty situation. He loves me and tries to do everything he can to take care of me. I don't want to be taken care of, but at the same time it is nice since xBF never did any of that. He'd just rather beat me up or make me think I was crazy. I'm just trying to sit back and enjoy the ride for a while. I've got NO plans on engagement, marriage, or anything of the like. I just need a place to stay with someone quasi stable.
Post by liubotflittyfud on Sept 18, 2012 11:13:52 GMT -5
I know how much dogs cost. I have a care credit card just for vet bills. I had 2 pugs for years. I do know this. I will make it work, believe me. It's not like i'm a little kid going "ooh puppy so cute!" I know they eat, shit, piss, get sick, get worms, get hurt, etc. I know they need shots and regular check ups. I work 2 jobs. I will make it work.