Post by icedcoffee on Aug 23, 2018 14:36:46 GMT -5
You could also ask if she can take a picture of it because you want to repeat the pattern for someone else and then see what she says. Maybe she'll say it's at her moms and you can go "borrow it".
I mean--this is still a terrible idea, but it's an option. LOL
Post by mrs.jacinthe on Aug 23, 2018 14:39:45 GMT -5
I understand the (gentle) flaming because it really is tacky to ask for a gift back 7 years later, but I'll be honest; there are some things I received at my wedding that I'd be happy to get rid of if the original gifter asked for them back. (I'm looking at you, baby afghan given to the IF couple. )
I think I'd probably go with something like, "Hey, I know this is a little awkward, but would you mind letting me know if you ever decide you don't want that quilt I gave you at your wedding? I was really proud of it and I'd love to give it a good home if you ever don't need or want it."
You could also ask if she can take a picture of it because you want to repeat the pattern for someone else and then see what she says. Maybe she'll say it's at her moms and you can go "borrow it".
I mean--this is still a terrible idea, but it's an option. LOL
I know it's terrible but I kind of like this. I feel bad liking it though!
WOUNDTIGHT, I would never recommend or encourage asking for it back. That's just tacky. Just saying she might get it back stained, bug-filled or worse. Wouldn't be worth the embarrassment of asking IMO.
Also on a different note, people should always skip handmade gifts like this unless you know that the recipient wants the item. I received crocheted outfits for DD, crocheted blankets, all stuff that I never used and its really awkward because I don't feel like I should donate them because I know someone worked hard on them, but I also didn't want them in the first place.
Yesssss. I'm currently storing the most unfortunate knitted infant sweater.
Also on a different note, people should always skip handmade gifts like this unless you know that the recipient wants the item. I received crocheted outfits for DD, crocheted blankets, all stuff that I never used and its really awkward because I don't feel like I should donate them because I know someone worked hard on them, but I also didn't want them in the first place.
See: all the glass objects my sister has painted and given to me as gifts. Never give someone a painted wine glass and say "but you can't wash it."
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I think it's awkward in the first place that the quilt was inquired about. If you asked my H about any household items I wouldn't trust his answer. We have a quilt that was made for our wedding by the wife of my boss's boss at the time. If she asked him if we had it, he would be like....ummm....
Can we just make it a blanket rule to not give gifts to people if you're attaching invisible strings to them? I would think it being the most annoying fucking thing in the world to get a gift from someone who then keeps track of what you're doing with it would be a unity horse, but apparently not.
Also on a different note, people should always skip handmade gifts like this unless you know that the recipient wants the item. I received crocheted outfits for DD, crocheted blankets, all stuff that I never used and its really awkward because I don't feel like I should donate them because I know someone worked hard on them, but I also didn't want them in the first place.
This is why I stopped making baby blankets. Okay I made like 3 and gave up after that because people started having kids waaaay faster than I could make blankets, but I realized that I was expecting the receiver to use them often and it hurt my own feelings that they didn't. And that's on me, not them! I STILL have my own baby blankets that were made for me, so I just kind of expected it to be like that for them.
Once people find out how much I spend on yarn for a sweater then how much time it takes, people's reactions of "OMG you need to make me a sweater too!!" suddenly turns to "oh wow that's a lot of work/effort/time/money." It becomes apparent that it's not something valued equally by them, which again is fine, but you have to realize that if you make something for someone.
Post by morecoffeeplease on Aug 23, 2018 14:56:02 GMT -5
I have a few quilts in our closet that have been given to us from someone and that's even after donating some more. I'd like for them to ask me for them back, lol.
Post by litskispeciality on Aug 23, 2018 14:59:17 GMT -5
My mom made my cousin (her goddaughter) a giant king size quilt. They got divorced and my mom actually said "well I hope she keeps the quilt". Yup, that was weird, as if she has nothing else to worry about. Unfortunately you can't ask for it back. It sucks that you did all that work. I hope that someone will think to donate it because it was rude to just leave it in the basement for that many years, but unfortunately it's just not for you to decide.
And I'll add it's easier to buy or give cash than make home made gifts. The cost of materials and time just isn't worth it for how little use it might get.
Also on a different note, people should always skip handmade gifts like this unless you know that the recipient wants the item. I received crocheted outfits for DD, crocheted blankets, all stuff that I never used and its really awkward because I don't feel like I should donate them because I know someone worked hard on them, but I also didn't want them in the first place.
I agree. Stick to the registry or give cash. Only give a handmade gift if the recipient specifically asked for it. One of my SILs is very crafty and ALL her gifts are handmade. She crocheted scarves for H and I but we never use them because the yarn is super thick and they are very short. It barely goes around our neck. I don't know what to do with it.
I’m imagining OP : “Hey, so I’m sorry your marriage went to shit and you’re probably staring down the barrel of many thousands of dollars in lawyers fees but, I want my gift back. That’s cool, right?” It’s making me cringe and guffaw at the same time.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Also on a different note, people should always skip handmade gifts like this unless you know that the recipient wants the item. I received crocheted outfits for DD, crocheted blankets, all stuff that I never used and its really awkward because I don't feel like I should donate them because I know someone worked hard on them, but I also didn't want them in the first place.
I agree. Stick to the registry or give cash. Only give a handmade gift if the recipient specifically asked for it. One of my SILs is very crafty and ALL her gifts are handmade. She crocheted scarves for H and I but we never use them because the yarn is super thick and they are very short. It barely goes around our neck. I don't know what to do with it.
My sister also made me a "blanket" once that was maybe 18 inches by 3 feet. It's my dog's blanket now lol.
I agree. Stick to the registry or give cash. Only give a handmade gift if the recipient specifically asked for it. One of my SILs is very crafty and ALL her gifts are handmade. She crocheted scarves for H and I but we never use them because the yarn is super thick and they are very short. It barely goes around our neck. I don't know what to do with it.
My sister also made me a "blanket" once that was maybe 18 inches by 3 feet. It's my dog's blanket now lol.
Post by thelurkylulu on Aug 23, 2018 15:18:01 GMT -5
Obviously, no you cannot ask for a gift you gave seven years ago back. That’s just weird and tacky. However, thank you for asking and providing entertainment.
Post by jennysmitten on Aug 23, 2018 15:33:48 GMT -5
Would I do this? No. But it sounds like you have nothing to lose. Do it and report back. Also, be prepared for her to say yes and never follow through.