So since the parents at bus stops is often school mandated, can we judge the schools for damaging children's independence? Like, I get maybe having a rotation where one parent monitors the bus stop each morning, but requiring every parent every pickup and dropoff? That's insane! And I'm guessing those rules were instituted because one time one kid was dropped off at the wrong place or missed the bus and somebody made a big stink about it.
I have no desire to be in charge of anybody else’s children unless it’s truly of my own choosing.
I can’t imagine how I’d feel if the bus forgot to drop my kid off, or the bus driver made them get off at a stop that wasn’t theirs. I’d be making a “big stink” about that!
I honestly don't judge nearly as much as I used to because I think I just care less as I get older, lol. BUT I really judge this fucking bitch in the school pick up line that always skips ahead. I want to lay on the fucking horn when she does this to me. If you're in that much of a hurry, park your car and walk up you dumb asshole.
At X's old school, I'd get legit rageful in car line. Line cutters have their own seat on the bus to hell.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
So since the parents at bus stops is often school mandated, can we judge the schools for damaging children's independence? Like, I get maybe having a rotation where one parent monitors the bus stop each morning, but requiring every parent every pickup and dropoff? That's insane! And I'm guessing those rules were instituted because one time one kid was dropped off at the wrong place or missed the bus and somebody made a big stink about it.
You bet your ass I'd make a stink if the bus dropped my 7 & 10 year old off at the wrong stop. We're rural, dropping them off at the wrong stop with no adult would me they would have no way to get home.
I judge gym goers who don't know proper gym etiquette. Like reracking weights and or putting back fitness items after they use them.
I judge my gym for not enforcing this too. It drives me fucking nuts. Re rack your goddamn weights and don't put the 45 pound plates on top of the stack of 10s and get them all mixed up. How hard is it to put your weights back in the proper stacks!?
Also, "not talking about your work" smacks to me of ppl who have more money than sense and their "job" is collecting from a trust fund while pursuing a masters in Renaissance Cartography.
usuallylurking and jreeds - what I really meant was that obviously it's a big deal if a kid misses a bus or gets dropped off in the wrong place, but it seems like a typical overreaction to require a guardian at all pickup/dropoffs. It's much easier for the school but puts a huge burden on parents and relieves children of any possibility of independence.
ETA: and don't you think a 10 year old would be able to tell they weren't in the right place before getting off the bus?
The lazy slugs in my neighborhood do the same thing. No one lives more than a short block from the stop and they all drive and the kids sit in the car until the bus comes. I judge them in the winter and when it's raining as well.
In general I don't buy into this whole no judging thing. I'm judging all goddamn day.
I don't really get the waiting with your kid at the bus stop. This was not the norm growing up. We knew people at the houses near the stop, so if we needed help, we knew where to go.
devonpow , I cannot see McConnel and not think he looks like a turkey.
My son's school goes up to the 4th grade. They will not dismiss kids off the bus without a parent or other pre-named adult there waiting. When he is in 4th grade he will not be allowed to walk 1/2 a block home. Isn't that ridiculous/outrageous? I have no doubt other parents would call the police if I ever dropped him off at the bus stop.
usuallylurking and jreeds - what I really meant was that obviously it's a big deal if a kid misses a bus or gets dropped off in the wrong place, but it seems like a typical overreaction to require a guardian at all pickup/dropoffs. It's much easier for the school but puts a huge burden on parents and relieves children of any possibility of independence.
ETA: and don't you think a 10 year old would be able to tell they weren't in the right place before getting off the bus?
I'm happy to have my kid be dependent on me through grade 5 if it means she makes it home safely without being bullied, run over, kidnapped, locked out, dawdles and wanders too far, etc. She's nine. Having someone be responsible for her well-being is okay by me.
And at age 9, the shit she will lie about to avoid getting in trouble (like not paying attention and missing her stop and then getting off at the next one) is unbelievable. So yes, she'd know she wasn't at the right stop, but would never admit it to anyone. [insert comedy of errors here]
And that huge burden on parents (ha!) is easily resolved by people everywhere, every day. I'm sorry YOU don't want to stand at the bus stop every day, but it's not 1940 anymore. Things have improved. This is one of them.
So here's a question about bus stop rules - does your driver actually monitor who gets on/off & where, what parents are there, etc?
This is really more about the afternoons, TBH. But sometimes kids get off at a stop that isn't theirs (purposely- to go play with a friend), or their parent isn't at the stop at drop off (as we live right across the street, I rarely go out to the stop in the afternoon if I'm home when the bus comes).
One time - a kid got off at the wrong stop because he misunderstood what his parents told him to do. Luckily, a parent who knows the kid was at that stop and texted the kids' parent at our stop. This was a rare exception, though.
Our driver is great and we love him, but he absolutely doesn't monitor that kids are getting off at their stop or that their parent is at the stop. Honestly- nor would I want him to! Our neighborhood is a contained, smallish neighborhood - I want DS to be able to go straight to a friends house if he wants to.
usuallylurking and jreeds - what I really meant was that obviously it's a big deal if a kid misses a bus or gets dropped off in the wrong place, but it seems like a typical overreaction to require a guardian at all pickup/dropoffs. It's much easier for the school but puts a huge burden on parents and relieves children of any possibility of independence.
ETA: and don't you think a 10 year old would be able to tell they weren't in the right place before getting off the bus?
Yes, my 10 year old would know she is not at the right stop. My 7 year old may not though. And he frequently rides the bus without her. The added extra layer is that DS is on the spectrum and has an anxiety disorder. Dropping him off at the wrong spot would not have a good outcome.
I get your point but there are a whole host of reasons why it's a better idea to have a guardian at pick up/drop off for the younger kids. And there are plenty of other ways to foster independence.
So here's a question about bus stop rules - does your driver actually monitor who gets on/off & where, what parents are there, etc?
This is really more about the afternoons, TBH. But sometimes kids get off at a stop that isn't theirs (purposely- to go play with a friend), or their parent isn't at the stop at drop off (as we live right across the street, I rarely go out to the stop in the afternoon if I'm home when the bus comes).
One time - a kid got off at the wrong stop because he misunderstood what his parents told him to do. Luckily, a parent who knows the kid was at that stop and texted the kids' parent at our stop. This was a rare exception, though.
Our driver is great and we love him, but he absolutely doesn't monitor that kids are getting off at their stop or that their parent is at the stop. Honestly- nor would I want him to! Our neighborhood is a contained, smallish neighborhood - I want DS to be able to go straight to a friends house if he wants to.
Ours does to a point. He won't let the kids get off at a stop other than their own without a note or say so from the school. But he will let kids who are getting off at the same stop get off with a familiar adult. For example we have about 10 kids get on/off at our stop. If I'm late getting down there and one of the other adults offered to take them he would let them. But only because he has spoken to us all and knows it's ok.
I'm also judging my niece about her breastfeeding posts on Facebook. She's very pro-breastfeeding and that IS great.. but I don't need to see a picture of your boobs everyday or a picture of the baby barely covering your nipple and some stupid caption like "dreaming about the milkies". I have now saw her boobs almost everyday for the last 4 months and I'm sure there's at least 6 more months of this.
I judge poor grammar.
and all republicans at this point.
That is fair. I don't feel like prefacing every post with pardon my English. Not everyone is fluent in English.
I don't really get the waiting with your kid at the bus stop. This was not the norm growing up. We knew people at the houses near the stop, so if we needed help, we knew where to go.
devonpow , I cannot see McConnel and not think he looks like a turkey.
My son's school goes up to the 4th grade. They will not dismiss kids off the bus without a parent or other pre-named adult there waiting. When he is in 4th grade he will not be allowed to walk 1/2 a block home. Isn't that ridiculous/outrageous? I have no doubt other parents would call the police if I ever dropped him off at the bus stop.
I think it is stupid. When we bought out house, I loved that were basically 1 1/2 blocks from the school (they have access to a path that leads to the school and a patrol.). Right now I walk to the top of the path, but I will most likely cut that back next year.
So here's a question about bus stop rules - does your driver actually monitor who gets on/off & where, what parents are there, etc?
This is really more about the afternoons, TBH. But sometimes kids get off at a stop that isn't theirs (purposely- to go play with a friend), or their parent isn't at the stop at drop off (as we live right across the street, I rarely go out to the stop in the afternoon if I'm home when the bus comes).
One time - a kid got off at the wrong stop because he misunderstood what his parents told him to do. Luckily, a parent who knows the kid was at that stop and texted the kids' parent at our stop. This was a rare exception, though.
Our driver is great and we love him, but he absolutely doesn't monitor that kids are getting off at their stop or that their parent is at the stop. Honestly- nor would I want him to! Our neighborhood is a contained, smallish neighborhood - I want DS to be able to go straight to a friends house if he wants to.
Ours does. She's amazing in many ways. Someone filled in for her for a while and he was so awful I was going to stop putting my son on the bus. There's no way he would have monitored anything and I could definitely see him leaving children in random places. I think our driver did things a little more loosely last year and this year she asked me for a list of people who could take my son off the bus (even though it's only ever me LOL). She told me someone sent a family friend to pick her child up from the bus. They didn't tell the driver or the school. The kid said she didn't know her and wouldn't get off the bus. The person had died their hair and the child only knew the person by a nickname, not her given name that she was giving the bus driver. I mean - what is the driver supposed to do with that?
I don't think that all kids should be dumped out of the bus with or without someone waiting for them. But I believe it's the parent's decision to make and that should be an option. The same way I gave the driver names of people who can pick him up, "no one" should be an option before he gets to the 5th grade.
usuallylurking and jreeds - what I really meant was that obviously it's a big deal if a kid misses a bus or gets dropped off in the wrong place, but it seems like a typical overreaction to require a guardian at all pickup/dropoffs. It's much easier for the school but puts a huge burden on parents and relieves children of any possibility of independence.
ETA: and don't you think a 10 year old would be able to tell they weren't in the right place before getting off the bus?
Yes, my 10 year old would know she is not at the right stop. My 7 year old may not though. And he frequently rides the bus without her. The added extra layer is that DS is on the spectrum and has an anxiety disorder. Dropping him off at the wrong spot would not have a good outcome.
I get your point but there are a whole host of reasons why it's a better idea to have a guardian at pick up/drop off for the younger kids. And there are plenty of other ways to foster independence.
Ok, but you're missing my point. If you want to drop off and pick up your kid personally every day from the bus stop, nobody is stopping you. Your freedom to helicopter parent or appropriately supervise (depending on the child, etc) is up to you. I dislike being required to helicopter parent. I'm a proponent of free-range kids as appropriate, but it's getting more and more difficult as childhood independence is practically criminalized. There needs to be an opt-out, the ability for parents to sign a waiver that says their kids don't need a parent at the bus stop. That's all.
My son's school goes up to the 4th grade. They will not dismiss kids off the bus without a parent or other pre-named adult there waiting. When he is in 4th grade he will not be allowed to walk 1/2 a block home. Isn't that ridiculous/outrageous? I have no doubt other parents would call the police if I ever dropped him off at the bus stop.
I think it is stupid. When we bought out house, I loved that were basically 1 1/2 blocks from the school (they have access to a path that leads to the school and a patrol.). Right now I walk to the top of the path, but I will most likely cut that back next year.
The people here are absolutely convinced their children will all be kidnapped if they are outside. "Sex trafficers" are apparently hiding behind every trash can. A woman posted to facebook to warn that a car slowed down when it passed her house while she was outside with her children. She snatched them up and ran inside. She was petrified and wanted to give everyone a description because "better safe than sorry". So, of course they aren't going to let them walk a block to school. Imagine what they dream might happen if they walked a block home from the bus by themselves. I think it definitely limits their independence.
I don't really get the waiting with your kid at the bus stop. This was not the norm growing up. We knew people at the houses near the stop, so if we needed help, we knew where to go.
devonpow , I cannot see McConnel and not think he looks like a turkey.
My son's school goes up to the 4th grade. They will not dismiss kids off the bus without a parent or other pre-named adult there waiting. When he is in 4th grade he will not be allowed to walk 1/2 a block home. Isn't that ridiculous/outrageous? I have no doubt other parents would call the police if I ever dropped him off at the bus stop.
It is crazy that a 9 year old cannot walk a 1/2 block home. DS is 9, and he walks or bikes to and from school by himself most every day. It is more like 10 blocks. Is the school on an 8 lane road they can't have crossing guards on or something?
Post by vanillacourage on Oct 4, 2018 13:28:54 GMT -5
RE: requiring a parent at the bus stop, is it because the school is also trying to minimize the chances of the kid being home alone? I.e. avoiding a situation where a kindergartner gets off the bus and goes to an empty house.
I have no idea if our school requires a parent, but this is our first year with a bus rider and my son is in 5th grade. It’s possible that if there is a policy that he’s aged out.
Also, "not talking about your work" smacks to me of ppl who have more money than sense and their "job" is collecting from a trust fund while pursuing a masters in Renaissance Cartography.
Post by penguingrrl on Oct 4, 2018 13:32:58 GMT -5
I find the bus stop thing interesting. I’m in a non busing district where legally 99.8% of children are “walkers.” Once it’s November of 1st grade the teachers stop walking them out. They come out and get home however was pre planned (with a friend, parent picking them up, walking, etc) and my 4th grader is authorized to be the “person” her brother is “picked up” by. Last year she biked a mile to and from school alone, and did wonderfully. Later this year I may let her walk her brother home instead of me going to meet them.
I’m not saying my decisions, made knowing my children’s temperaments and the safety of our particular walk home, are right for everyone. But I also think that it’s insane for the school to dictate that I can’t make reasonable decisions in this, which rules requiring a parent at the bus stop until very old ages, does. Nobody is saying you shouldn’t have the right to go, just that we should be able to allow our kids to move independently if we feel the situation is safe.
My son's school goes up to the 4th grade. They will not dismiss kids off the bus without a parent or other pre-named adult there waiting. When he is in 4th grade he will not be allowed to walk 1/2 a block home. Isn't that ridiculous/outrageous? I have no doubt other parents would call the police if I ever dropped him off at the bus stop.
It is crazy that a 9 year old cannot walk a 1/2 block home. DS is 9, and he walks or bikes to and from school by himself most every day. It is more like 10 blocks. Is the school on an 8 lane road they can't have crossing guards on or something?
He's bussed, so that's where he would be walking from. But the school won't dismiss walkers without a guardian picking them up so he couldn't walk alone if we were a block from the school, either. LOL, no neither place is the least bit dangerous. The street goes right into the school grounds/parking lot and there is a crossing guard where the school property begins. No bicycles/scooters/skateboards allowed at all. So must be accompanied and cannot ride. And the schools try to say kids aren't coming prepared and parents don't give their kids enough responsibility or independence? Stuff it.
Also - he's my only child. He changes schools for 5th and 6th grade and I don't know what their dismissal policy is. I have no idea if they let kids off the bus at that age either, but we'll live too close to qualify for the bus. But I'm certain none of these people will "risk" having their kids walk half a mile because of all of the danger lurking in this perfectly safe suburb. Of course, if everyone was walking/riding their bikes to school the streets would be teeming with people and be even safer. But that kind of logic is lost on people who have never lived on another block, much less braved the world in any way.
Post by mrsukyankee on Oct 4, 2018 13:35:08 GMT -5
I live in "Europe". Everyone I know talks about their job very happily. I think it's a myth. And I know people from all over Europe in London who talk about their jobs. Eh. If you don't want to, fine.
RE: requiring a parent at the bus stop, is it because the school is also trying to minimize the chances of the kid being home alone? I.e. avoiding a situation where a kindergartner gets off the bus and goes to an empty house.
I have no idea if our school requires a parent, but this is our first year with a bus rider and my son is in 5th grade. It’s possible that if there is a policy that he’s aged out.
In our particular case it isn't, because Kindergartners are in a separate school and ride only with Kindergartners.I don't even think that should be the school's call to make. It's an extremely small town. There isn't a high rate of neglect or people having to leave their children home so they can work multiple jobs to keep food on the table. If they had reason to believe a child was being neglected they can report it like they would do in any other situation of abuse or neglect. If this was a big problem and known to be occurring widely I could understand better doing whatever you could to stop that. But an adult could also be letting that child into the house and leaving them there. Where does the supervision end? A 12 year old should be able to walk his 8 year old sibling home from the schoolbus if that's what the parents choose. It shouldn't be outlawed because there's a chance someone else might leave their 5 year old home alone.
I honestly don't judge nearly as much as I used to because I think I just care less as I get older, lol. BUT I really judge this fucking bitch in the school pick up line that always skips ahead. I want to lay on the fucking horn when she does this to me. If you're in that much of a hurry, park your car and walk up you dumb asshole.
In the same vein, I can't stand the one dad who PARKS in the drop off lane and leaves his car there while he walks his children to their lines and hangs out for the Pledge. The school even sends out email blasts that the parents are not to get out of the car and if your child needs assistance getting out of the car or you're one for longwinded goodbyes, to please park in an actual parking spot and walk your child to the line. This guy fucking does what he wants and I give him the goddamned death glare every single day. Every morning my blood pressure spikes.
I'm judging people who don't get the flu shot (baring medical reasons) and (obviously) anti-vaxers.
Also judging people who use their cell phone at inappropriate times. There is this women at the barre studio I go to and she will keep her cell phone on her mat and check it multiple times during class and text. The other day she answered her phone while class was still going on. It was like the final stretch series of class, but still... if the call is that important, get up and go in the hallway to take it. She sat there on her mat just chatting away with someone after class had ended and everyone else was cleaning up their equipment. The instructor was so annoyed... I hope she said something to her afterwards.
I'm judging people who don't get the flu shot (baring medical reasons) and (obviously) anti-vaxers.
Also judging people who use their cell phone at inappropriate times. There is this women at the barre studio I go to and she will keep her cell phone on her mat and check it multiple times during class and text. The other day she answered her phone while class was still going on. It was like the final stretch series of class, but still... if the call is that important, get up and go in the hallway to take it. She sat there on her mat just chatting away with someone after class had ended and everyone else was cleaning up their equipment. The instructor was so annoyed... I hope she said something to her afterwards.
I have no idea if this is the case, but a woman at my yoga studio is an ob/gyn. She brings her phone into class because she has to. Then again, she steps out to take the call.
I honestly don't judge nearly as much as I used to because I think I just care less as I get older, lol. BUT I really judge this fucking bitch in the school pick up line that always skips ahead. I want to lay on the fucking horn when she does this to me. If you're in that much of a hurry, park your car and walk up you dumb asshole.
In the same vein, I can't stand the one dad who PARKS in the drop off lane and leaves his car their while he walks his children to their lines and hangs out for the Pledge. The school even sends out email blasts that the parents are not to get out of the car and if your child needs assistance getting out of the car or you're one for longwinded goodbyes, to please park in an actual parking spot and walk your child to the line. This guys fucking does what he wants and I give him the goddamned death glare every single day. Every morning my blood pressure spikes.
Someone needs to actually go out to his car as he pulls up and make him go park. We had an issue with parents pulling into the bus loop to drop off their kids and despite a million emails, they then had to put saw horses up with a "guard" to keep parents from driving in. AND THEN, people STILL tried to drive in. The audacity of some parents floors me.
ETA: No matter how many emails are sent out, as long as they are generic, the person committing the "crime" will ALWAYS think "Oh, they don't mean ME!!!!".
The principal or someone needs to get the nerve up andjust go out and directly tell that parent that he can't park in the carpool lane.
But the school won't dismiss walkers without a guardian picking them up so he couldn't walk alone if we were a block from the school, either. LOL,
The stuff we learn here...
how does this work? How big is the school? The end of the day is a madhouse at DSs school!! I can't imagine them trying to keep the walkers inside waiting while they check off who has a guardian there and who doesn't. WIth the buses pulling up, some kids going to clubs, some going to after care... truly, the idea that the staff would really have to monitor all the kids to that level is intriguing to me.
That is fair. I don't feel like prefacing every post with pardon my English. Not everyone is fluent in English.
I was mostly teasing. I do not really judge poor grammar because I, too, am guilty of not capping things that should be, not using appropriate punctuation and spelling things incorrectly.
It bothers me, but I do not judge it so much.
I wish I had the balls to point out every instance of poor grammar and misspelling I see on FB. Like when someone posts something so profound or some shit and they have a glaring error in the spelling I want to always go correct it. I never do.