I missed the OP, but it sounds like some crazy crap went down.
It also sounds like you are being proactive and taking the steps necessary to care for yourself and your kids in the immediate timeframe, which is _awesome_. Go you!
I have no advice beyond what others have posted. Take care of you. Take care of your kids.
Remember to take half of his 401k. Also are you in a state where you can sue Jump Offs??? CAUSE I WOULD.
Unluckily, he doesn't have a 401k, one small retirement fund and a confusing employee owned ESOP payment agreement with his company that we were counting on for his part of the retirement. I'm going to have to learn what they are worth now and what that means for "splitting." Basically I carry most of the retirement savings and might have to give some to him. I was the main earner for 10 of the 13 years married and the 9 years together before that.
What is a jump off?
Jump off is slang for side piece/mistresss/etc
In some states you can (or at least could) sue the person your spouse cheated with for alienation of affection.