My marriage is over, H is done.

[cleo29]

I know I have posted about this here and there over the past two years and received wonderful support here.  Things have been dicey for the past 8 months or so. I think i tried so hard to think it had more to do with H coping with his mom dying and turning 40 and all that can come with that milestone, but no.  He feels he has changed and with it his feelings for me and what he see for his life.

i can't say i feel shocked, but feeling like this might happen and then having it actually happen are two different things. I am scared about how i will be able to take care of my kids as I have only started working over the past year and that is just teaching cycle two times a week. so, not much there.  we live in a very HCOL area and honestly, i don't think i will ever make enough to really support myself and my girls here. I'm just feeling sad and scared and that once again, there is something about me that pushes people away. Maybe i took it for granted that we would just be together. ridinging out the tough times and stresses and make through.

I don't know. but now, i feeling defeated.  Sorry, this is all over the place. Went to bed late last night after our talk and then did not sleep well and now I have a raging headache. oh and I still have that meeting tonight with my co-troop leader where I can hear how much I have let her down this year, which is true and I totally own that and feel terrible about it, so that will be some additional fun today.

I feel like one of the toughest things is letting go of how I thought things would be.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and letting me let it all out as we are not really telling people anything for a little while.

[Deleted]

I am so sorry you're going through this. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know that's easier said than done, but he played a part in it as well. Don't let yourself shoulder all the responsibility.

[CurlyQ284]

I'm so sorry Cleo ((hugs))
You don't have to make any decisions today, just take some time to process.

[nextbigthing]

I'm so sorry. Divorce is awful but you will get through this and come out better on the other side. We are here for you.

Please start looking for an attorney eventually (not today). Depending on the laws in your state make sure you get what your worth. I know this is the last thing on your mind but it is important.

[Monica Geller]

I’m so sorry. Cancel on your co-troop leader. You don’t need that today. Take time to process this. You don’t have to have it all figured out today.

[anonymous]

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m sure your feeling will be all over the place for quite some time. I think that is to be expected, so be kind to yourself.

Instead of going tonight can you email or text the co leader and say I know I’ve let you down this year, I own it and I’m sorry. I am more than willing to sit down to discuss further but I cannot do that tonight.

[tripleshot]

I’m so sorry, Cleo.

[goldengirlz]

I’m so very sorry, Cleo. You are strong and you will get through this, one step at a time. Be kind to yourself; it’s not your fault.

[carmenere]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Be kind to yourself. You’re a good mom to your girls and you’ll come out on the other side of this.

Please take steps to make sure you’re protected through the process - namely making copies of all your financial documents (tax records, bank and credit card statements, etc.) and keeping them somewhere safe. You don’t have to start the process of finding an attorney right now but it’s important to start preparing.

[cabbagecabbage]

Mar 17, 2019 10:17:57 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

I’m so sorry. Cancel on your co-troop leader. You don’t need that today. Take time to process this. You don’t have to have it all figured out today.

This. Family emergency.

[cjcouple]

So sorry, Cleo. Please take care of yourself and know we are all in your court.

[TR]

Oh Cleo, I’m so sorry.

[namasteak]

I’m so sorry Cleo (((hugs))) Take care of yourself ❤️

I will think about remote fitness industry work I have come across for you. Have you considered working in gym management?

[pumpkin]

Oh Cleo, I'm so sorry.
This is a hard time but remember to be kind to yourself. And we're here for you.

[flex]

Oh dear friend...I'm so, so, sorry!! If you'd like you can PM me here or on FB.

[circa1978]

Sending you so many hugs. And yeah, that troop leader can just suck it up.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m so sorry Cleo. I hope you can find peace.

[jezebel]

I’m really sorry, Cleo. Just know that this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes it doesn’t work and it’s not one persons fault. We’re all here for you. Hugs.

[Poeticxpassion]

I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

[ssmjlm]

I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself emotionally and financially.

I had an acquaintance where the husband left and she had not worked since having 3 kids. Her attorney worked to make sure she was protected while re-entering the workforce here in Virginia.

Hugs.

[pandora89]

I’m so sorry Cleo. ((Hugs))

[cleo29]

I did ask him if counseling is something he is open to and he said yes, definitely though the process to help us be better at co-parenting. and then i asked is it worth going before that to try one more time or do you just feel it is done and he said i don't want to give you false hope, which i agreed with as i don't want that either.

I don't want someone if they have to try and convince themselves they want to be with me. that's not how it should be.

Honestly, I think I would feel less scared and everything if i had kept working and at least had real means. that is one of the worst parts because in a way i am at the mercy of what we can work out together. it is a terrible feeling.

Thank you all again for the support; i can honestly say I don't know what i would do without you all, as sad as that might sound. especially when you have very few people you can go to IRL, this place means a lot.

i did reach out to my best and oldest friend, so I know I can lean on her.

[cville]

I am so very sorry. I know how much you've tried to be patient and thoughtful and I know you wanted it to work out. I know you know all the good steps to take to take care of yourself. Get a good lawyer and you can end up--amicably--protected while you work to get back into a better paying career.

Your co-troop leader can take a hike today. You have a family emergency. And, frankly, based on your posts here you've had a slow motion family emergency pretty much for the past 18 months. It's Girl Scouts, not finding a cure for Ebola. She can lay off. And if she can't, you don't have to deal with it TODAY.

[morecoffeeplease]

I'm really sorry Cleo :-(

[penguingrrl]

I’m so very sorry. That’s a terrible feeling. Just remember that you’ve spent however many years out of the workforce supporting his career. You deserve to be protected financially as you build a career now, and that should absolutely be worked into the divorce agreement. He wouldn’t be where he is professionally and financially if you hadn’t run the household, and he should expect to keep you and the kids up to the standard of living you’ve been accustomed to while you build the ability to do so on your own, which will take time (and many judges agree with that, especially when he is the one who initiated this).

[mrsukyankee]

I'm so sorry Cleo. Sending all the hugs.

[cleo29]

Mar 17, 2019 11:28:59 GMT -5 cville said:

I am so very sorry. I know how much you've tried to be patient and thoughtful and I know you wanted it to work out. I know you know all the good steps to take to take care of yourself. Get a good lawyer and you can end up--amicably--protected while you work to get back into a better paying career.

Your co-troop leader can take a hike today. You have a family emergency. And, frankly, based on your posts here you've had a slow motion family emergency pretty much for the past 18 months. It's Girl Scouts, not finding a cure for Ebola. She can lay off. And if she can't, you don't have to deal with it TODAY.

I kind of just want to get it over with. i fully intend to explain that the past year or so has been pretty bad and i have not been doing well. Not excusing, but wanting her to understand it is not personal to her. I have been dropping the proverbial ball all over the fucking place.

We have a meeting tomorrow, so getting this sit down done is for the best.

[idoinjuly]

I'm so sorry Cleo.

[cville]

Mar 17, 2019 11:34:26 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Mar 17, 2019 11:28:59 GMT -5 cville said:

I am so very sorry. I know how much you've tried to be patient and thoughtful and I know you wanted it to work out. I know you know all the good steps to take to take care of yourself. Get a good lawyer and you can end up--amicably--protected while you work to get back into a better paying career.

Your co-troop leader can take a hike today. You have a family emergency. And, frankly, based on your posts here you've had a slow motion family emergency pretty much for the past 18 months. It's Girl Scouts, not finding a cure for Ebola. She can lay off. And if she can't, you don't have to deal with it TODAY.

I kind of just want to get it over with. i fully intend to explain that the past year or so has been pretty bad and i have not been doing well. Not excusing, but wanting her to understand it is not personal to her. I have been dropping the proverbial ball all over the fucking place.

We have a meeting tomorrow, so getting this sit down done is for the best.

Got it.

Just picture me kicking her ass on your behalf if she gives you too much guff.

[cleo29]

Mar 17, 2019 11:31:41 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I’m so very sorry. That’s a terrible feeling. Just remember that you’ve spent however many years out of the workforce supporting his career. You deserve to be protected financially as you build a career now, and that should absolutely be worked into the divorce agreement. He wouldn’t be where he is professionally and financially if you hadn’t run the household, and he should expect to keep you and the kids up to the standard of living you’ve been accustomed to while you build the ability to do so on your own, which will take time (and many judges agree with that, especially when he is the one who initiated this).

I know and he does not disagree with that at all. but, I don't want to rely on that forever. I need to get to a point where there is child support and that is all.