How old to leave kids home alone - overnight?

[Deleted]

I'm sure that it is child specific, but what age do you think it is okay to leave a child home alone overnight? What about for an entire weekend?

[penguingrrl]

In my family, they will need to be adults. Neither of us was left home alone overnight in our parents house until we were in college. We have no intention of doing it differently.

[orangello]

My parents left me for a week when I was 16 - so I could drive myself to help, I guess? 😂 I was a very independent and responsible child and I still threw a rager. So, my answer is college.

[NewGirlNic]

College aged/over 18. 

[devonpow]

I would leave DS1 overnight this next year (he’s almost 16). He’s responsible with (at this point) fairly responsible friends, we live in a dense neighborhood with easy access to neighbors he knows and can keep a general eye out, etc.

I went to college 3000 miles from home when I was 17. I’m a believer in slow introduction to big responsibilities so they don’t flounder when all of a sudden they are expected to be on their own.

[beerlover]

I think 18, too. My parents were pretty flexible about most things and I started staying home alone pretty early, but I didn't stay at home alone for a night or weekend until I was probably 18.

[chedifuen]

I have a 16 year old and I would feel comfortable leaving him overnight, however we wouldn't because he is uncomfortable with the idea.

He's a super responsible kid and a big rule follower. I think it is very kid dependent.

[ssmjlm]

I was 17 and my sister was 13 when my parents left us for 2 nights. They were school nights, so we were busy with activities and no extra fun to squeeze in, lol.

[tripleshot]

We left our 16 year old home for a weekend earlier this year. He’s responsible and can drive and we have family nearby. He was fine and basically played video games all weekend. DH and I are going on a weeklong trip in March and he asked to stay at home vs going to grandma’s. We’ll probably let him. He’ll have school and sports everyday and we have cameras all over the house. We’ll arrange for him to have dinners with local family every night. He’ll be 18 in July.

[maudefindlay]

College age. I've got 3 kids elementary to middle school and so hard to imagine a situation where we'd have one home and not the other two which presents more issues, so I say college age for that reason as well because the oldest would need to be mature enough to manage the other 2.

[IrishBelle]

It depends on the child but we left our 16 almost 17 yo alone for 2 nights while we went away. She had her drivers license and access to a car to get to work. My parents love 10 minutes away if she needed them.

We also have a 11yo. She went to my parents house for the weekend and didn’t stay home with her sister.

[abs]

I was 17 when my mom left me overnight out of necessity (family emergency). My best friends all spent the night and we watched movies/ate every snack imaginable and didn't sleep. It was fun and no big deal. I would not have wanted to be alone alone though. No plans to leave DD overnight until she's an adult unless there are similar circumstances.

[winecat]

Nov 10, 2022 8:27:27 GMT -5 devonpow said:

I would leave DS1 overnight this next year (he’s almost 16). He’s responsible with (at this point) fairly responsible friends, we live in a dense neighborhood with easy access to neighbors he knows and can keep a general eye out, etc.

I went to college 3000 miles from home when I was 17. I’m a believer in slow introduction to big responsibilities so they don’t flounder when all of a sudden they are expected to be on their own.

My neighbors have left their kids alone overnight at the same age too.  But we also live in a dense, urban neighborhood and the kids know that I'm close by if needed and the parents ask me to watch out too.  

[madringal]

My almost 15 year old I would be ok with leaving overnight as long as she was comfortable. For a weekend, for this same DD I would say 16/17 - as long as she had a car and could drive herself if something happened.

My nephew is 16 and my sister is leaving him home for a week here soon. He will spend the weekend with us, but then monday - friday he will be home alone. My DH works real close to their home so he will check on him from time to time and of course he can always come stay with us if needed. But we are 30 minutes from his school and he needs to be there so early, it just makes sense for him to sleep at his own house and drive himself to school.

[bears]

My parents first left me overnight alone for 1-2 nights when I was going into my senior year. I'm sure the neighbors were keeping an eye on things to make sure I behaved. I was a pretty responsible kid.

I don't know how my kids will be at that age, but it seemed pretty reasonable.

[jwright]

Based on my childhood I would say 21 (or whatever legal drinking age is).

When I was in high school my parents went away and I stayed at a friends house. We had a drinking party at my parents house and then made it back to my friend's by her curfew to spend the night. I ended up puking from my hangover the next morning, and someone left a beer can in a hanging potted plant so we got busted.

When I was in college and home, I would have done the same thing.

In my area, parents or homeowners can be liable for things that happen to underage drinkers in their home (or at least it could be contested); that's why I'd want my hypothetical child to be of legal drinking age and hopefully out of the party mindset before being left home alone.

Edited to add:  I was also an AP student, got good grades, and played sports but the party culture in my high school was too much of a temptation at 17-18, and I was hanging out with those same kids when home from college on breaks. 

[dontlook]

I would hope to leave them alone before they left for college. 16? maybe. Once they can drive seems like I good idea. My mom currently lives pretty close so I’d feel better leaving knowing she could be there if they needed her.

[carmenere]

Nov 10, 2022 8:19:05 GMT -5 orangello said:

My parents left me for a week when I was 16 - so I could drive myself to help, I guess? 😂 I was a very independent and responsible child and I still threw a rager. So, my answer is college.

Same! And I was generally a rule follower 

[TR]

My mom left me at home for almost a whole week the end of my senior year of high school (so I was 17.5) for a work trip. My best friend was supposed to come stay with me so I wasn't ALONE alone. We ended up mostly skipping school to sleep all day and then hanging out with friends late, rinse repeat all week. No one got hurt, we weren't do anything TERRIBLE (there was no drinking or drugs), but we weren't exactly being responsible, either. And I think my mom would've said I was a total rule follower/goody two shoes kid.

[dontlook]

Nov 10, 2022 9:00:29 GMT -5 carmenere said:

Nov 10, 2022 8:19:05 GMT -5 orangello said:

My parents left me for a week when I was 16 - so I could drive myself to help, I guess? 😂 I was a very independent and responsible child and I still threw a rager. So, my answer is college.

Same! And I was generally a rule follower 

I threw parties while my mom was gone but they never got out of hand and I wouldn’t even be mad if my kids did the same. Still some of my best memories. I learned a lot about cleaning spots out of carpet which had served me well as a mom so I’m going with those being life skills lol.

[kath16]

my younger two are elementary, so hard for me to picture this as a parent, but...

without knowing which way you're swinging on this (i.e. are you trying to convince your STBX in one direction or another, etc.), i can provide anecdotes that are fine, or two that ended up in parents getting arrested

[VillainV]

It depends, but for a quick overnight with people around in case of emergency? Probably 15. For a whole weekend? Maybe 16-17 depending on the kid.

[Deleted]

Nov 10, 2022 9:05:09 GMT -5 kath16 said:

my younger two are elementary, so hard for me to picture this as a parent, but...

without knowing which way you're swinging on this (i.e. are you trying to convince your STBX in one direction or another, etc.), i can provide anecdotes that are fine, or two that ended up in parents getting arrested

It actually doesn't have anything to do with him, we don't have any kids together thank goodness. I'm in FB group and was being called a helicopter parent because *I personally* would not leave my 16 year old home alone for an entire weekend. Mostly because I threw many, many parties as a teenager when my parents would go away for the weekend, with one so legendary that people put it in their official "memories" section of our yearbook. So yeah, I can't risk that LOL

[stemmie]

Mine was at least 18, driving and out of high school before we did.

I know of a few instances where this went sideways even with otherwise good kids. In one situation a friend took advantage of a rule follower and invited other kids to a party at the house. In another a sibling group (18, 16 and 14) began in-fighting; immature 18 male threatened 16 female who was trying to make him follow the rules laid down. Neighbors called police in both these cases.

[macmars45]

My parents started going to Hawaii for a week every January when my twin sister & I were 14 and our older sister was 15. We lived in between a maternal aunt & uncle and our maternal grandma (literally in between; they were our direct neighbors). We had lots of other local aunts & uncles to check in on us. We rode the bus to school and they stocked the fridge before they left. They continued going on that yearly vacation until I was at least 18. We never threw any parties or anything.

Now, will I leave my DS alone overnight at 14? Probably not.

[lolalolalola]

We left out 14 & 16 yo alone for a weekend.

[yellow23]

I wouldn’t until at least college-age and possibly not until 21 depending on the circumstances. My parents offered more than once for me to stay home by myself for a weekend in high school when they went to visit older siblings at college. I always chose to stay with a friend because I wasn’t comfortable home alone overnight. I watched/read too many horror movies/books and our house was surrounded by woods on three sides so I could imagine all kinds of horrible things when home alone.

My older sister always stayed home alone when given the chance and she threw huge parties every time, but my parents didn’t find out until we came home early once and there was a party going on. She was the goody goody, valedictorian type and still couldn’t resist throwing parties.

I’ve also known kids who didn’t want to throw a party, but as soon as someone found out there wouldn’t be any adults at their house for a weekend they were basically forced/pressured into a party. The kids will just show up even if the kid whose house it is doesn’t want them there.

[waverly]

My sister left her 17 and 14 year old home alone for a week. They lost power and then the one kid was sick (possibly Covid). I thought that was the wrong call. Now, there was a MIL watching them but she refused to stay the night there. So they went to her house when they lost power, but she yells a lot and there were issues with pet grossness. So they went back to their house. They didn't make it to school one day. Then because they were sick my mom was going to watch them for the second weekend and then said no I'm not going if they have Covid. So I think it went pretty poorly overall, and I was surprised they didn't cut the trip short.  Now, I didn't realize at the time that they stayed part of the time at her MILs, but I am not sure if that was even 1-2 nights, it certainly wasn't the full 6-7 nights.  

[wildrice]

I don't think my parents ever left us overnight until I was in college. And honestly I don't even specifically ever remember being left overnight after that either, but I was not usually home enough for my parents to want to be away while I was visiting.

I had two younger sisters though so I think at least part of the reason they never left is because they wouldn't want to put me in charge of them for that long. I was a responsible kid and wouldn't have thrown a party (at least not one with alcohol) so if it was just me at home they may have been more willing.

Eta: my parents also rarely went anywhere overnight.

[mysteriouswife]

DD nope at 15/16. She has a very ditzy personality. She has no sense of urgency or gumption in emergency situations. She also sleeps like the dead. If there was an emergency she would stand there and watch it go down. She is overall a very smart kid, just lacks the common sense. I don’t think partying would be a problem. She is a rule follower. Two examples on why I cannot trust her to be home alone for more than a few hours. 1- we had our roof replaced. She slept through it. Didn’t budge once. 2- our smoke detectors went off for unknown reasons. I was grabbing the cat age and yelling for everyone to leave the house. She stood there and said “oh okay. Let me finish this…” she did not grasp this was an emergency. Thankfully it was a faulty detector.

DS I think he would be okay at that age IF (big fat one) he isn’t a partygoer. He is my wild card. I have no idea what his teen days will look like. He already has a sense of urgency in emergency situations. If the smoke detector goes off he is grabbing his shoes.