No word yet. But I’m entertained waiting with reading this thread!
LOL of course she didn't respond.
I think I acknowledged upthread that I'm just tired of people and planning events. The past two weeks at work has been spent listening to people bitch about the end of tax season party they throw annually. Last year 3 people out of an office 14 local people showed up (I wasn't here so who knows what their excuses were). So this year we're moving it to see if more people show. I sent out a poll with different date options. The same 6 people that show up to things responded to the poll, as did the 4 remote workers who said they obviously wouldn't attend. The rest decided to bitch to their admin about moving the date, but never responded to the poll. I had to hear about it from her, who then admitted that she herself never responded to the poll. The deadline was last night (after a full week). Do you think any of those fuckers responded? No. And I know she reminded them to respond. So now I'm going to send out RSVPs that these same people won't respond to, but will continue to bitch about. I'm tired, y'all. Why can't you just respond to things? I promise no one will hate you if you say no. I, personally, love when people say no because I'm not having to do extra party math to include food/beverages/chairs if you might show up.
As for whoever said upthread that I need to evaluate relationships, I have. We threw a party about 2 years after my kid died, so we were still emotionally vulnerable but wanted to do something. Gave people a month to know when the party was and plenty of time to RSVP. 30 people said they were coming. We even did spot checks on our notoriously fickle friends and they confirmed. Spent so much money, time and energy on the party. 5 people came. 5. I burned so many bridges after that. They all had excuses and were pretty much silent when I said that our party was DOA because so many people just never showed.
pixy0stix, in regards to your work party.. no one wants to go to a work party. But they feel obligated to RSVP yes or delay responding to try to get out of going without being shamed for not wanting to go. At this point, I'd just.. stop throwing the party.
In regards to your own personal party and circumstances around it.. I am sorry about everything in that post and I hope that you've since built a social circle of people who know how to be actual good people.
pixy0stix , in regards to your work party.. no one wants to go to a work party. But they feel obligated to RSVP yes or delay responding to try to get out of going without being shamed for not wanting to go. At this point, I'd just.. stop throwing the party.
I'd be fine cancelling! It's not my decision, though. What I don't understand is the bitching about the dates/times. Why am I being bitched at if they're not going to come anyway?
I didn't mean to make this post about me, sorry all!
pixy0stix , in regards to your work party.. no one wants to go to a work party. But they feel obligated to RSVP yes or delay responding to try to get out of going without being shamed for not wanting to go. At this point, I'd just.. stop throwing the party.
I'd be fine cancelling! It's not my decision, though. What I don't understand is the bitching about the dates/times. Why am I being bitched at if they're not going to come anyway?
I didn't mean to make this post about me, sorry all!
In my world? So they have an excuse not to go. "Well I SAID that only April 31 would work, but they insisted on April 30..."
Can you get off this party planning committee or is it part of your role? Thankless jobs don't deserve doing. Of course if your literally role at the company is event coordination, you're SOL. (But that also sounds like a terrible fit if it is!)
I'd be fine cancelling! It's not my decision, though. What I don't understand is the bitching about the dates/times. Why am I being bitched at if they're not going to come anyway?
I didn't mean to make this post about me, sorry all!
In my world? So they have an excuse not to go. "Well I SAID that only April 31 would work, but they insisted on April 30..."
Can you get off this party planning committee or is it part of your role? Thankless jobs don't deserve doing. Of course if your literally role at the company is event coordination, you're SOL. (But that also sounds like a terrible fit if it is!)
My guess is this person is a chronic complainer. Also if I am planning something and they are not helping then I’m ignoring them.
If they want input then they need to be taking on a task otherwise they are out of their lane and I’ll remind them of that or ignore because their opinion is irrelevant. The minimum they had to do was a survey, and they couldn’t even do that. They can “feel free to fill out the survey next year”. Otherwise change topic keep it moving.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Mar 29, 2024 13:39:47 GMT -5
I think the key to work party attendance is that the party needs to be held during work hours, like a catered lunch, then you hang out and do your recognition thing, and then everyone leaves for the day when it's done.
Every time there is one of these, I think about how much stress and judgement women put on themselves, and each other. Everything from rude for not making an immediate decision to rube for being b listed, and the reality is there is probably no malice, just life. And now I’m paranoid that someone thinks I’m rude for not immediately making decisions when there is a lot that goes into that.
Also, file us in the group of not having plans for Sunday yet. In fact, I just texted my H to contemplate the chances a restaurant that was expecting to open in 2 weeks, as of 10 days ago, would do a soft open on Easter weekend. Chances are slim, but I’m not above walking by and hoping.
I agree with this, too. One thing I have worked on over the years that has helped with my own happiness and self confidence is not taking things personally. If someone isn't responding to me it's usually not because they don't like me or don't want to ever see me - it probably has very little to do with me and more with whatever else they are doing or have going on. People are busy and also have any variety of mental processes that may delay responding or decision making.
I also agree with whoever said that sometimes you need to think about whether you even want to do something. Maybe it sounds nice but you know the day is going to be busy and want to consider if you want to take that on. I've definitely made the mistake of saying yes to things too quickly that are just going to stress me out - regardless of how much I like or enjoy spending time with the person. It's never intended to be rude!
this is where I am now! But I'm turning 50 this year and I've had four years of the best therapy of my life. It's not about me! I am a planner and like to respond right away, my older sister is not. I used to get so hurt about it but never said anything to her, I just simmered about it. So stupid. She later told me she's the type that doesn't like to commit, she loves to know her weekends are open. It was never about me. So now that I've really let it go, I am infinitely happier. I figure, if everyone cancels and I'm on the couch with my husband or it's just me at a restaurant--I will be happy. I do call the restaurant to change our numbers because that matters for their bottom line. But I'm letting go of expectations as best that I can. I think it depends on the person, some of my friends and planners and some are not
I just caught up on this thread and thought it was interesting that several people thought the other party was not replying because they were waiting for a better offer but not one person assumed their offer was the better offer and the other person just had to figure out how to make it work.
I would LOVE a last minute invite to brunch. But I already know I will be going to SIL’s house for dinner. What I don’t know is what time dinner will be served. It all depends on if SIL’s H’s grandparents will be there. If they go, dinner is at 4:00 because they will be standing by the door at6:30 announcing it’s late and they need to leave. They are in their 90’s and there is a greater than 50% chance they won’t feel up to going to Easter dinner so it will be served later and I won’t need to leave my house by 2;30 to drive an hour to SIL’s house, in which case I will gladly drink mimosas with you from 11-1. Trust me, it’s not like you asked me to help you move, I’m going to do my best to work it out to be there, just give me a full day to make sure it works.
If I think I’ll get a better offer, I’m not that into it so it’s an easy no. If I can’t answer right away, rest assured yours is the better offer and I’m figuring out how to be there.
I’m not that popular to be waiting for better offers. Maybe people with large extroverted friend groups. Most pictures that I see are family gatherings.