I would. It's something I have thought a fair amount about here lately. I have a long ways to go before I would be ready for that, but its a possibility.
Yes. I wouldn't say it's super common, but I know a handful of people in this situation and they've done it. Things have worked out well for them and they seem very happy with their choices.
I think the key here is "finances are in order." I also think that there's a difference between becoming a single mom by choice v. by circumstance in their general outlook & attitude.
Yes. I would have. Being a mother has always been inside of me. I had "plans" with a guy friend that of we were both still single by 35 we would have a baby together.
My DH and I haven't had a kid yet mainly because it appears to be a lot of work and we also enjoy being able to travel and spend money freely.
I know there are single moms who do a wonderful job taking care of their children, but I can't imagine purposefully signing up for that gig. I have yet to reach the point where I think my life would be incomplete if I don't have children.
Nope, it is too much work for me to want to do it on my own. Maybe if I didn't already have kids and know how non stop it is to care for them I would have a different answer. When DH is away for work or just out for bedtime I often think of how exhausting single parenting would be. Maybe with a lot of family support and some great babysitters to give you a break sometimes I would change my answer, but I just feel like the day to day would have me feeling too beaten down to enjoy my time with the child.
Before kids I would have said yes. Like PP though, now that I know how hard they are I would be on the fence... but probalby yes because I wouldn't know what to expect.
I don't know. I'm not thrilled about the idea of single parenthood, but I also might regret not having a child in the future. Hopefully I'll find someone I want to marry and have kids with within the next 10 years so I don't have to make such a decision.
It would be hard but I have lots of family to help. And I'm assuming that child would still be my DD, and she is awesome. Often I do feel like a single parent bc of Hs job.
Although the adoption of a 3 yo isn't a bad idea either.
If its something I really wanted sure and I could afford myself. Adoption probably the way to go there though in that situation. There is no age limit to bringing a child though to a household.
No. It is hard work and I really like having another person who is as vested as I am in our child. My husband travels a lot for work and works long hours, but when it comes down to it, he can/will step it up. Very different from having to do it alone.
I'm selfish. I hate being the only one to take care of our dogs when FI is gone. I can't imagine dealing with pregnancy and raising a kid alone. That would be stressful. I'm also not one of those people that has dreamed about becoming a mom for my entire life. I'm still on the fence about kids because the though scares me to death.
Post by indianchica on Oct 17, 2012 7:02:30 GMT -5
No. Before I had kids and knew how much work it is, I probably would have said yes but now, no way (as greekypie stated). Having adopted a 2.5 yr old, no way I'd adopt a child - young or older - as a single mother either.
No. I love my kids, but I'm going crazy when DH is on a trip for week, ready for a break, even with them in school/daycare. With him around, I love having kids, but I'd never choose to do it on my own with no help.
I used to think I would definitely do this if I was still single by then because I've always known that I wanted children. I probably still would but only if I had A LOT of support: parents and siblings nearby who were eager and willing to pitch in as well as money for regular babysitters and maybe even a part time nanny (in addition to daycare).
Raising a child is a lot of work, especially if you end up having more than one. A woman who goes into this alone needs to make sure she will get regular breaks and help so she doesn't end up feeling totally overwhelmed and ultimately get burned out.
Absolutely not. I believe kids deserve to have a father and mother in the home. Yes, sometimes things happen where that isn't possible, but it shouldn't be the plan.
I used to think I would definitely do this if I was still single by then because I've always known that I wanted children. I probably still would but only if I had A LOT of support: parents and siblings nearby who were eager and willing to pitch in as well as money for regular babysitters and maybe even a part time nanny (in addition to daycare).
Raising a child is a lot of work, especially if you end up having more than one. A woman who goes into this alone needs to make sure she will get regular breaks and help so she doesn't end up feeling totally overwhelmed and ultimately get burned out.
This, and if I did it, I would make sure I had a very solid plan in place for guardians if something happened to me (my mother died while I was still a minor).
I have a friend who is doing this, and I admire the hell out of her for it. I think it took a lot of courage to make the decision - in a way, first she had to let go of the "dream" that she'd be making kids with a partner. But families come to be in all sorts of different ways, and she seems much happier with her life now than our other friend who is rounding her mid forties still waiting for Mr. Right.
No, I wouldn't. My desire for children is primarily to be able to share them with MH, not just plain wanting to be a mother no matter what.
That being said, I don't think that a lack of a spouse should stop a person from becoming a parent if that's what they really want and if they're prepared to care for a child on their own.
Yes. Being a mom is really important to me; I would not have given that up because of life circumstances that rendered me partnerless. I would have moved to the city my family lives in for support, had one child, and made an effort to raise him/her around cousins, aunts/uncles, etc. Actually having kids hasn't changed my feelings on this.