If I was financially able and had a support system in place, then yes I would. Being a mother was/is something I always knew I would want to do. When DD was born, my H was out of the house from 5 am until 8pm. His schedule remained that way for about 2 years. He only saw DD on weekends because she was asleep by the time he got home and he saw DS (then 4) for about 1/2 hour before bedtime. I had/have no local family so for the most part, I was on my own with the kids. It was hard. But DD is 4 now and DS is 8. The baby stage and the toddler stage and all the difficulties that come with it...they pass. And even when they're happening, the joys, IMO, far outweigh the parts that are really, REALLY hard. I joined and then subsequently was in charge of a local mom's group so I ended up building a great support system and had many women I was able to commiserate with as far as having an H who was rarely present.
My best friend, through no choice of her own, became a single parent when her DD was 3. Her H was a jackhole and they got divorced. Her daughter is now 12 and is an amazing, AMAZING young girl. I have so much respect for my friend and to be honest, I think that some women are just meant to be mothers. I don't think having a partner is what dictates whether or not one should have a child. I think it should be based on ones willingness and ability to love and raise a baby to become a respectable adult who contributes to society. (All one has to do is pick up a paper to see that there are many people who fail in this regard...even with a father figure present)
Yes, parenting is hard work, especially at the beginning of a child's life. Statistically with divorce and death, many of our children will wind up in single parent homes. It doesn't seem that far a leap for them to start out in one.
I have a friend who was reaching 40 and had no mating prospects in sight. She desperately wanted a child. She went out when she knew she was ovulating and took some guy home from a bar. She said she "vetted" him as much as possible in the bar. He was attractive, had a degree, etc. I question her methodology, but I certainly don't question her wanting a child and doing what she could to have one.
Yikes. So not fair to the guy.
Unless she poked holes in the condom, he knew he was taking a big risk.
And as far as getting people to agree to 'help'. Holy shit. Plenty of people are happy to offer to help someone with a non-existent child that might never be born. You can't call those people at 1 am when the child has been screaming for hours with colic or teething or croup or whatever and say HEY come over, remember you said you'd help, I have to sleep so I can go to work. They'll say UH, SO DO I. That kid is yours and yours alone.
Yup. I have really awesome, generous parents. My mom came to help me out when we had our third child this summer. She took time off from work and stayed with us for SIX weeks. It was an enormous amount of help and I am so grateful that she did it. She didn't do night duty but she really did help me out a lot during the day. She did eventually have to go home though and then DH and I were on our own again (thankfully his parents and siblings live nearby). DD was colicky from weeks 6-12. I don't even want to think about what it would have been like if I was doing this by myself.
Even with really generous, helpful family members the brunt of the work will still fall on you as the parent, as it should.