In your line of work, how important is the reputation/prestige of your school to getting a good job? General line of work, not important at all. That being said, my college is one of the few that gets you extra attention and helps your chances at getting that first job or two, as it did in my case.
What is your job? Recruiting for a political firm
Do you feel that the reputation of your school help or hinder your job prospects? Helps if I continue in this line of work. Even if I change, but stay in this state (where the college is located), it will probably still help.
Without my college's name on my resume, I probably would not have gotten any of my current jobs to date. My first job, i got attention because of the school. My second, same, and because of first job. Current job, I got into it because of the network with the college. Still, we hire a lot of people with diverse education backgrounds, many with no higher education at all.
I do have mixed feelings about biological relatives being prioritized at seemingly all costs.
Can you say more about this? Have you experienced this personally or are you meaning generally?
Overall generally but in my nephew's adoption out of foster care it went on much longer than normal and it gave me concern. Prior to his adoption, my SIL fostered several children who were reunited with their families (yay!) so I'm in support of that, but I was concerned in that particular situation.
I'm also just nervous about the perspective that biology and blood relation trumps all but my experience colors that for me. I'm really happy with my life and I love my (adoptive) family very much, and never knew anything else. To know that some people believe I would have been better off in the circumstances I was born into because of blood relation doesn't make sense. It makes sense that the birth mother/family should not experience that heart break, loss, grief, etc. and her life may have been better w/o adoption but mine? I don't agree.
Now, I say that as a domestic, infant, caucasian adoptee. I recognize that race and cultural issues come into play ex: white family adopting a non-white child and that child being able to experience their birth culture, having important figures in their life from their birth race or culture, etc.
I find the title of the article misleading, but nothing was surprising to me. When I hear "anti-adoption" I think of people who don't think it should ever happen, at all, because they either think children should remain with biological relatives at all costs or from the perspective that you can't love a non-biological child as your own.
Regarding the article and the coercion and abuse in the adoption world, it's not new to me but it is still heart-breaking. I'm considering adoption myself and I'm nervous that my research, questions, etc. won't be thorough enough to make sure I work with an agency that is ethical. We are currently decided against international adoption for many of the reasons, including how "orphan" is defined (if at all) by other countries and the ethical issues arising as a result.
I don't have experience with the white savior complex situation. My brother is mixed race (also adopted) and neither of us (or our other adopted friends and relatives) have that experience as domestic, infant adoptions.
I do have mixed feelings about biological relatives being prioritized at seemingly all costs. Given my own birth family's circumstances that would have been very difficult, if not impossible. I have read that Primal Wound book referenced by OP and some parts resonated with me but many parts did not. I talked about it with other adopted friends and they didn't agree either. It's hard to look at the life I have today and think that I would have been better off with my birth family.
It's hard to know what is really in the best interest of the child v. the interests of adoptive or birth parents. It begs the question of what does it mean to be an adequate parent? How much do we take temporary circumstances into account when determining these things?
That's a lot of rambling, but I felt the need to contribute as an adoptee, if for no other reason than to have that voice shared here.
I'm adopted and did this just to get the country/area of origin information as I was just curious. I did it w/o even thinking that it would connect me to my biological relatives. I just didn't think that many people used the kits. The account is through my husband, so most of the information built out is his family tree. We received several messages from second and more distant cousins asked who I was. I never responded. I didn't think it was the right time/place to share that one of their cousins had a child as a teen and put her up for adoption. I figure, if they didn't know about it already, it's not the time for sharing.
It will be interesting to see if some day a more close relative is connected.
What are you asking or hoping for? A 10 cup food processor, silicon baking mats, 2 pullovers from llbean
What are you getting others? Probably a golf bag or beer subscription for H, golf lessons for my dad and brother, a pet photography session for my mom
Have you gotten anything yet? Nope
Any good deals? Nope
How are you handling tips? Trash collectors, postal workers, daycare, teachers, whatever? I've never tipped our postal worker, I guess I'll look into that. Otherwise I live in a building with larger trash service and even our concierges seem to be different every month, so probably nothing there.
Going anywhere, either to visit loved ones or on a vacation? We're going to Michigan where our parents live for 6 days.
Having/attending a party? Some friends host a Friendsgiving so we're going to that.
Looking forward to cooking/eating/drinking anything special? I'm hosting Friendsgiving Part II this year (many of the same people from the other party, but on Thanksgiving itself, plus a few others). I love the menu planning!
Got any nice holiday outfits planned? My "Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal" sweatshirt I wear every year. My mother hates it
As long as it fits/is flattering and in good condition. I keep a capsule wardrobe (though loosely, I suppose) so the few things I do have I wear a lot. I do, however, still have a dress from 2004 that looks great. Jeans and shirts get worn more often/quickly so I buy jeans once/year but they are also Target it's not really high quality.
I'm starting on my third month at Xtend and I love it! I enjoy variety of classes and that I've never had the same routine twice. It's a 15 min walk from another barre studio and our classes sell out frequently (so clearly it's popular).
We are 30, HCOL, both work, and have 3 months. We want to focus on paying off my student loan debt (H has none) and then we'll beef up the efund to 6 months/start saving for a house...which will take eternity (the house, not the 6 month efund).
Really, if one of us lost our job we could get by on the other person's income although on complete bare bones.
We want to live near a body of water (could be a small lake, great lake, ocean) in the country but within 3 hrs at most of a major city, ideally no more than 1.5 hrs. We want some peace and quiet but then opportunities for extensive travel.
We did wine tasting at Poggio Antico in the countryside and loved it. We also loved our lunch at Officina della Bistecca by Dario (famous butcher). Come hungry. Literally worst restaurant for a vegetarian though lol.
One of the days we were in Florence the weather was terrible - downpouring all day. We spent the entire day in the Mercato Centrale and had a marvelous time. There's a traditional market downstairs and then more of a trendy food court (including a vendor devoted completely to truffles.) We just tried the different foods, drinks, etc. all day.
Yes. He holds me accountable to the woman I want to be. He calls me out on my shit. He understands, appreciates, and respects my personal goals and helps me get there.
I think it's rude. There are better ways, IMO, to reference/clarify something already stated.
I prefer, "Per our previous conversation". Generally, I only reserve statements like that for delayed items or when someone is trying to tell me ABC didn't take place.
"Like I said" is too personal for work and sounds like it belongs in an argument with your partner or someone else you're close to.
Nothing good can come from starting a conversation that way. It can immediately put the recipient on the defensive.
This is a good point, and more of what I actually do. Using the word "like" is kind of what makes it take a turn for rude.
OP, knowing your colleague is generally rude, though, I can see how they're continuing that pattern here.
I don't find it condescending but if it's in written communication the writer better be damn sure they actually said it. I do write it on occasion but I literally look in the email chain to confirm that I did, indeed, state it already. I find I have to do it because half of our department does not read emails carefully and then tries to say something was never explained, shared, etc. It covers my ass more than anything.
Christmas Eve: Chili with white cheddar beer bread
Christmas Day: Roast leg of lamb, parmesan roast potatoes, brussel sprouts with dried cranberries and balsamic reduction, and popovers. Dessert will be Christmas cookies and chocolate truffles.
H graduated with his PhD and got a job in May. This increased our income significantly. We were able to move to an ideal neighborhood and a great apartment building.
We paid off our car 1.5 years early and other than my SLs have no debt. We are now in a position to start saving for a DP and maybe buy in 1.5-2 years.
We hit our savings goal of a 3 month e-fund.
I reached my salary goal for my age.
I am now contributing 15% to retirement.
We continued to give 10% to our churches and additional funds to charities important to us.
It's just H and me this year so we're cutting back on sides and doing a turkey breast (butterflied, and rolled with herb butter).
All you folks contemplating apple pies, I encourage you to try making your own crust. It's really not that bad. Annie's Eats has a great recipe and I use Pastry Affair's Apple Crumble Pie for the filling. If you follow none of that advice, I insist on adding a pinch of nutmeg to the filling and that you use 3 lbs of apples (about 5-6) so you have a full, hearty filling. You want it to be a mound on top. It may look excessive but they do cook down substantially.
My dog was doing better after having a Behavior Specialist come out and then dropped his basket 1.5 years later. We are just now (a few months later) getting to a new routine. We basically trick him to thinking we're still there. We modified the triggers that would tip him off we were leaving including:
Feeding him Walking with purpose while getting ready (we have to dawdle, it's annoying) Jingling keys Opening the door (we do so very quietly now) Putting shoes on (change the order of when we do it) Putting coats on
He's a smart little pup so he figures things out so well. H is also almost done building our own bark/treat dispenser.
We also play somewhat loud music while we're getting ready and then leaving so he can't hear us leave. This isn't a trigger because we play music all the time anyway. He is crated in our bedroom and he can't see us physically leave.
Doggy daycare is a good suggestion if that works for you. Our dog doesn't like to play with other dogs, and all the daycares here are open play so it would just be miserable for him.
I'm a Roman Catholic and I believe in life after death. I was raised Catholic, left the faith for awhile, and came back. This is common for many people. Many faith journeys include doubt and personal failures, so please don't let that keep you from pursuing a relationship with God. Some days, weeks, months I suck at being a good person. Other days I'm better. It's that, in general, over time, I choose to seek a relationship with God and good things for myself, my friends, my family, and my community grow from that.
You ask some big, good questions. I am by no means a theologian, but I am happy to discuss further to the best of my ability and make recommendations for you to seek additional resources that may be helpful, or find a spiritual mentor/counselor.
If nothing else, if you want to grow in your faith, it doesn't have to be complicated. You can just spend a little time in prayer (start with a few minutes) each day. It doesn't have to fancy, or a memorized prayer, just a conversation. The God I believe in is always listening.
OG Jo Addressed this well. Just commenting to say I'm sorry they gave you partially incorrect information and how much it will impact your work and that of your colleagues.
Know that the HR profession overall opposes this change and regulation and we feel awful for having to abide by it. It's going to have a big impact on a lot of people.
You can purchase an antenna for relatively cheap (just bought one at menards for $7) which will pull in all local channels and you can watch the local and/or nightly news
This is what we do and we only use it for football and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Otherwise, I get all news online, especially from my M-F newsletter, The Skimm (highly recommend!)
Mom: Hand painted portraits of her dogs. She definitely loves them more than my brother and me. She otherwise has everything.
Dad: University of Illinois apparel.
Brother: Video games
H: Probably the watch he put on his Christmas list.
I put together a list for myself, but now that I'm newly pregnant much of the clothing may not be able to be worn for awhile. I did also put things like a fondue pot, a coffee mug I like, a cookbook, new toiletry bag, and a new band for my fitbit.
Thing is, don't look like you're trying too hard. It's awkward, you might be uncomfortable and that's why I wholeheartedly suggest jeans, boots and a tee or button down shirt. Nothing with fringe. Nothing too flashy. No urban cowboy wanna be. Lol.
So basically, don't look like Marty McFly in Back to the Future II. Got it
What does one wear to a honky tonk? H and I are going to a wedding in the south. The couple invited a bunch of friends to join them at a honky tonk the night before. H and I are very...yankee...so we don't own anything obvious for the occasion. HALP.
Seriously, though, I feel for her. Teenagers are the worst. I think she and you are doing all the right things. Anything you guys can do this weekend, or maybe have her do something extra special with the new friend?