If it's someone who's gender isn't obvious I'll use non-gendered language. I do recognize that this does make assumptions based on physical appearance that may be incorrect if they look more traditionally male or female. If I spot a pronoun pin or a non-binary flag I'll use whatever pronouns are appropriate or non-gendered language until corrected. I notice them much more now than a few years ago, both because they're more common and because I'm looking for them. Big Kid's Best Friend who is also the youngest child of my closest friends is non-binary and it has made me very conscientious of gender indicators.
Grammar rules are always changing. It feels more natural now to use they/them than it did just a few years ago. I am also trying to get Little Kid to recognize they/them. Best Friend is the only one in our circle who uses they/them and I have corrected Little Kid on their pronouns for literally years, but it wasn't until now in Kindergarten that she finally is consistently using they/them for Best Friend. My hope is that she (Little Kid) never feels uncomfortable using they/them appropriately.
EDIT: I'll also add that I made a very deliberate choice to not use gendered language in my business.
Parenting a pre-teen may break me. Parenting a pre-teen with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD WILL break me. Big Kid has been nothing but a challenge lately, and every time we try to get to the bottom of it we uncover more evidence of ADHD. Fortunately her 12 year well visit was yesterday and we laid it all on the table for her doctor, who referred us to their psych practitioner and he has an opening at the end of the month to start the diagnosis process. I've suspected AHDH for months, thought H would disagree but when I laid it out for him with the specific things she does he was open to at least talking about it. After the past few weeks he's just as convinced as I am.
H got the eGO i think when our riding mower crapped out. he loves the thing. I don't cut the grass, I have no opinion. I know the battery is plenty to do our front yard. Our back is much bigger (3/4 of an acre total) and that requires several charges. But he usually breaks it up and does it in sections anyway, especially when it's hot in the summer.
EDIT: ALSO literally 4 out of 6 of us on the court have the eGo now. The two hold outs are one with a really old push mower that she's still limping along and another who pays someone else to cut the grass. Everyone with one loves it.
I will just say that we also have dogs that jump on our couch with wet/muddy paws, but I refuse to let them ruin our furniture. Our solution has been to buy blankets to cover our couch (better than the clear plastic of yore, at least?) that are easy to wash when they get disgusting from the dogs, and then if we want to sit somewhere the dogs have gotten dirty but don't want to wash/change the blankets yet, we just fold over the blanket or move it before sitting, and put it back when we get up. When people come over, we just take all the blankets off and throw them in the laundry room. My kids honestly just sit on top the blankets (they are the Big Ones from Kohls and at least match our decor).
Our sectional is from Wayfair, and we took a huge risk in ordering online without sitting on it but it worked out (3 pieces recline and it's super comfortable). It's a pain to wash all the blankets, but I do it weekly at least, so I can't imagine how much a pain it would be to do the covers of a couch.
I think we will leave a light sheet or something on it to help prevent damage and make it easier to de-fur it.
This is what we did. Sheet or just yardage of fleece. Easier to wash. And she was a heavy shed-er too.
I haven't read all the replies, but we've had ours for 6 years now and I love it. I regularly sleep on it when I'm having trouble sleeping in bed. It has held up to the kids well, including one who was a baby/toddler. Held up great for the dog. Covers are easier after you do it a few times and the cushions wear in.
It's not the same as DQ, but don't forget about SoftStuff on 40 and Cindy's in Elkridge. Neither are as expensive as the Charmery, and they're locally owned.
Never heard of it but OH MAN am I going to take the kids. It's right down the road from where I buy my birdseed! Thanks! My favorite ice cream place is my former place of employment and I refuse to go there because the owner is batshit (traditional ice cream, not soft serve).
Wait wait wait. Are we talking Nacho Cheese Doritos or Cool Ranch? If it's cool ranch it's not even a hard choice. Cool Ranch all the way. If it's cheese Doritos, then plain Lays.
Nooo mel! That would be so disappointing. I hope you can get a different treat to make up for it?
I miss DQ. I guess there are a few in this general area but nothing convenient to me (last I looked it was a 20+ minute drive). It's probably better for my health that there isn't, but nothing hits like a Blizzard sometimes.
If it's the DQ off 26, it's probably the one in walking distance of my house. I've lived here for 15 years (how did that sneak up on me) and I've only been once.
We had a Bosch for three years and loved it. Then something shorted out in it and almost caught fire. There's chared wiring in my basement. Scary. Just out of warenty. Still haven't replaced it but leaning to a kitchenaid.
Oh that’s scary.
Very. It was probably a random thing, no reason to think it's Bosch specifically or will happen to another one, but H doesn't want to go with another Bosch because he doesn't trust them. I double checked the warranty and it may be covered up to 5 years depending on what was wrong with it. But it's a whole thing now and so I'm looking at kitchenaid which are the quietest according to the stats.
We had a Bosch for three years and loved it. Then something shorted out in it and almost caught fire. There's chared wiring in my basement. Scary. Just out of warenty. Still haven't replaced it but leaning to a kitchenaid.
It's almost 1pm and I haven't been able to make myself get started on work. I just realized I forgot to take the med I'm supposed to take at 10am. Well there's the problem. I have now set yet another alarm in my phone to take the damn meds.
My mom's birthday is also on mothers day this year. So we always do something for her. I don't get or expect to be celebrated. I'm still unpacking this in therapy.
beerlover, I was talking to my therapist about Little Kid maybe having ADHD. She's just turned 6 but she has some behaviors that seem to point to ADHD. According to her (so by all means fact check this) the biggest indicator of ADHD in kids that young is emotional disregulation. Big reactions to seemingly small things. I've also realized that Big Kid also shows all the signs of ADHD, including emotional disregulation which she has struggled with all her life (and I've been told repeatedly she'd grow out of but she hasn't). Now I struggle with knowing when to have them evaluated. I don't think either needs to be medicated or have accommodations yet, but knowing how their brain works would be a big help to both them and us as parents.
What do you use on your cuticles (well maybe cuticles isn't the right word) The skin around the whole perimeter of your finger nails. My fingers have so many little hangnails right now. During the winter, I use O'keefes on my dry hands, but wondering if there is a good product specifically to decrease hangnails.
The body balm that I make. #nothelpful. Look for any nail oil that is high in either jojoba oil or sunflower oil (high oelic if it's listed is best). If you use it daily you should start seeing improvement in a few weeks.
You call someone to come catch and release. If you can post a pic & your rough location I can probably tell you what kind. If they're all flying they didn't hatch today, though they may have fledged today.
Hang in there! Hopefully this does help for your area.
In promising news, we spied on a Howard Co M4L meeting this week. And it was so far out there that even the M4L people had concerns (speaker is trying to get an Apogee school in HoCo)
I love how resoundingly rejected M4L is getting in Howard
Big Kid finished her school project at 1030 last night. Usual bed time is 9. As usual she utterly hated me when I was making her work on it, but after it was done she said thank you for the help & making her do it because otherwise she'd either have been up later or not finished. Break my damn heart kid. The older the kids get the more I realize how... not great.... my parents were. #DebbieDowner
Plus side, because of Little Kid's allergy I'm guaranteed a chaperone spot on their class field trip to the zoo! At least I don't have to be uncertain and questioning if I'll be part of the lottery to go with them.
Fingers are crossed that this helps and somehow the board can be voted out.
This year we vote on two of the other seats. 2026 is when the two ultra-conseravitve M4L crapbags are up for reelection/replacement (along with a third seat held by a decent human being).
Going into effect immediately was the Freedom to Read Act — a response to a rise in challenges to books in schools and public libraries, including dozens in Carroll County schools, that primarily tell the stories of LGBTQ+ youth or that deal with race. The law sets standards for content in libraries for the first time and makes Maryland one of the few states to enact such legislation for a trend seen nationwide.
I know we talked about the book bans in school libraries in Carroll County MD lead by Mom's For Liberty. Wes Moore just singed a bill to combat some of the bans. It still allows them to ban books on the basis of sexual context (which includes several of the books banned in schools here). It also says books under review stay on the shelves and establishes procedures for review.
Fuck you Whistler (school board stooge) Fuck you Kiler (county commissioner who wanted to strike the budget increase for the public library from the county budget in retaliation for librarians publicly supporting this bill) Fuck you Moms for Liberty, you're a fucking hate group you motherfuckers.
And that offices does get people in quickly! I think they know ADHD people need that lol Good luck!
Yeah, but they still said it would take 2-3 months total. The guy yesterday did give me something that may help, but not a stimulant (Wellbutrin). And I’m kind of handwringing on if I should start it or wait. I was really not expecting to get in so soon.
I started Wellbutrin two weeks ago. It's going fine, except I had a period of really terrible sleep that I think was my usual terrible sleep at that part of my cycle exasperated by the Wellbutrin.
My life turned upside down a week ago when my mare gave birth to surprise twins. It has been utterly exhausting ensuring they are cared for 24/7 while still working full-time. It's a miracle mom and babies survived and both babies are thriving despite the 2nd one being teeny tiny.
Big Kid is having a tough time with this assignment she's doing. It's a room model and they have to figure out volume and area and stuff. But she's so unmotivated and getting frustrated because now it's 830 and she's SO TIRED and doesn't want to do it. If she doesn't do this part tonight so the glue can dry, she cant do the next part tomorrow night. I hate that I can't just tell her to do it tomorrow when she's not so tired.
My SD gets so overwhelmed when tired. It’s pointless. I always say, go to sleep let’s try again tomorrow. If it’s not perfect or parts don’t get done, some is better than all. And it’s never productive at this point in the night.
Usually I would do the same, but she'd been avoiding this work literally since she got home from school. If it were more than measuring, cutting, and gluing down paper I would have sent her to bed and figured it out tomorrow. She did finish with a lot of guidance at 930, which isn't that much later than her usual bedtime. She thanked me for helping her before she went up, which almost made me cry. She gets overwhelmed if she looks at the project as a whole, splitting it into parts like this helps her get a better grip on the next steps so she can actually do the project. Tomorrow should be easier now that she's got a start.
Big Kid is having a tough time with this assignment she's doing. It's a room model and they have to figure out volume and area and stuff. But she's so unmotivated and getting frustrated because now it's 830 and she's SO TIRED and doesn't want to do it. If she doesn't do this part tonight so the glue can dry, she cant do the next part tomorrow night. I hate that I can't just tell her to do it tomorrow when she's not so tired. I hate that I can't do this for her. I am trying to toe the line of helping her with directions without just telling her what to do and it's so hard to not just give her step by step directions.
My parents never helped like this. I would have been up in secret in my room in the middle of the night before it was due to try to finish. Or I'd take the letter grade off and turn it in a day late.
I'm 99% sure she has ADHD. I will be bringing it up at her well visit in a few weeks. I think this frustration with larger projects is going to get worse as she gets older and it may be time to get her help before it becomes more of an issue. Even just confirming it's ADHD would be a big help.
I'll also add that as you go through OIT, in my experience, the anxiety does lessen. Little Kid is sitting at 6 peanuts a day with no reaction, and we're allowed to have peanut butter in the house again. The anxiety about it hasn't gone away, but I am much more comfortable about her with peanuts and significantly less anxious about her having a reaction at school.
Therapy was really tough today. Almost had a panic attack in my session rough. Now I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot until I feel more comfortable driving and I decide what I'm doing next. I did my errands yesterday. My therapist is all about self care after session, but I have no idea how to take care of myself today. I don't want to go home for a bit, both because a furnace tech is doing maintenance and I don't want to be around my H who was in a foul mood this morning and I cant handle if I go home and he's still grouchy.
Oof, I'm sp sorry the first time ended that way! The panic I felt starting OIT was intense, and Little Kid has a comparatively minor response. I can imagine how tough it is with an anaphalactic reaction. It does get better & easier with time, but it's also ok to stop for now and reasses in a year or whenever you are all ready.
I had no idea adults were into Bluey, I thought it was a kid's show? I've never seen it.
It has a large adult following. It's not annoying and it's very wholsome/sweet. Also shows good relationships between characters including a very involved dad which is lacking in kids programming.