I think the difference between breast milk and formula is really exaggerated these days. Sure breast milk is easier to digest and baby gets antibodies, but I think the difference in percentages with babies who are sick vs. not are a lot slimmer than some would like you to believe. And by the time the kids are in school you can't tell who was breastfed and who wasn't.
Not saying this to downplay breastfeeding. I just don't think FF should be viewed as "taking the easy way out" like it seems to be these days. Entire generations before us were FF and we all turned out ok.
So I'll give BFing the old college try, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out. I'll actually be happy that DH can take over night feedings when I go back to work.
Post by littlemisschatty on Feb 21, 2014 11:20:32 GMT -5
I can't stand when people consider their spouse their only "best friend". I think it is essential to have best friends outside of your marriage. Two different things.
leonard131 - I gotcha on the excuses. But losing weight after 30 has been a different ballgame for me. Not to mention after baby. Despite my best efforts, seeing a doctor, seeing a trainer, etc. It takes longer for some to see results than others, don't you think? But yes, some people would rather complain than act. Which applies to a lot of things in life actually.
I will respectfully disagree with the first UO from leonard131. .mainly because all the small bumps in the road have added up overtime and with 3 kids, working full time, general lack of support, my anxiety depression have gotten worse over the last two years and I've tried bucking it up and putting my big girl panties on, but realized I can't do it alone and need some help so I started seeing a therapist. My 3rd apt is in in 40 minutes.
ETA: and one of the things I'm working on is finding time for myself and to motivate getting off the couch and doing exercise/something physical because I haven't really since DD1 was born.
I think the BIGGEST issue is the freaken internet. I mean I just say this because ALL of my friends from back home formula fed. It was 100% normal and no one cared about breastfeeding or formula. And I never heard of formual shaming until I got on the internet. I do think it is a very huge internet phenomenom. And I will say that while I think there is some IRL shaming that goes on, I dont' think it is anywhere near the number that is found on the internet and I think it is very seperated by socio-economic class.
I totally agree with this. I don't know if my circle of family and friends is just apathetic or what but 1/2 the stuff that people feel shamed for/judged over doesn't even cross my radar of real life. Nobody gives a damn I formula feed or CD. I don't care that my SIL is a big fan of CIO. Nobody I know cares where your kid sleeps.
I hop on the internet and it's martyrs all around for everyone and everything. Sometimes I'm jealous. I wish I had time to be THAT passionate about something...ha!
I also think we as women sadly enough read way too much into other peoples comments/opinions/concerns. I've seen people make statements even on here about what they like to do and all of a sudden some other mom is randomly feeling bad because it's not her ideal. Nowhere in the original comment did the poster point it out specifically or say anyone else was wrong.
Basically, people take advice and comments way too seriously..on here and IRL I guess.
I seem to have the opposite problem with friends IRL and BFing. The majority of my friends extended BF unless there was a medical reason for them not to. It made me feel bad when I was thinking about FF because it was kind of a "if they did it, why can't/shouldnt I?" But then I think about what is going to be best for DH, myself and the baby and FF seems to be the better option once I go back to work.
And then I worked with the BFing Nazis at my old job who would lecture ME on my SIL's choice to FF. Like it was any of my business what SIL chose to do and my decision.
I've also had people lecture me on why I should BF and all of that when they ask if I'm going to BF or not. It's like they set me up for an opportunity to school me on the benefits of BFing when they ask what my plan is. No answer seems to be the right answer and then I have to deal with someone else's opinion.
Post by Velar Fricative on Feb 21, 2014 11:36:24 GMT -5
I know I need to buck up and start running again. During my 2012 marathon training, I happily got up at 4:30 am to go run outside 4 out of the 5 weekdays. I loved running. Then pregnancy happened and I was told to stop running immediately due to my high-risk pregnancy and I have been miserable ever since with only inconsistent running this winter. I know I need to shut up and get out there again though, but this snow isn't helping and neither is DD's sleep regression. Add a 3-hour commute each weekday and it's HARD, man. But I know I need to do it.
I don't know if this is an UO or just b/c I'm a bitch eating crackers at my SIL, but
If you are a divorced parent and the other parents is involved in the child's life, then you are not a single parent. My SIL constantly talks about raising her 2 oldest (b/c oh btw, the youngest lives with dad) as a single mom. No, their father is very present in their lives and involved. You are a divorced parent. These are 2 totally different things IMO.
Now I know that some divorced parents are single parents b/c the other party isn't involved, but divorce =/= single parenting.
I don't understand the "we'll figure it out" philosophy regarding the financial toll of children. I hear it alllllll the time. You're barely scrapping by, but want more kids, but "you'll figure it out." I am befuddled. Do magical money trees exist? Did I miss the memo?
This message brought to you by my friend telling me they're trying for their third. While underwater on their condo, in consumer debt up to their EYEBALLZ, wracked with student loans, and living with her parents. I just cannot.
Yep I have a friend like this too. She says well my parents had it harder so it's ok. I just don't get piling on when you are struggling.
I assume that people who are married but have completely separate finances have some deeper issue in their marriage and aren't certain their marriage will last.
I think the difference between breast milk and formula is really exaggerated these days. Sure breast milk is easier to digest and baby gets antibodies, but I think the difference in percentages with babies who are sick vs. not are a lot slimmer than some would like you to believe. And by the time the kids are in school you can't tell who was breastfed and who wasn't.
Not saying this to downplay breastfeeding. I just don't think FF should be viewed as "taking the easy way out" like it seems to be these days. Entire generations before us were FF and we all turned out ok.
So I'll give BFing the old college try, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out. I'll actually be happy that DH can take over night feedings when I go back to work.
Here's my UO - I completely disagree with this. The benefits of breastfeeding are definitely not exaggerated (either for the baby or the mother), there's so much more of a benefit then just it being easier to digest and the antibodies. That being said, I don't give a shit how anyone feeds their kids. Couldn't care less. If mom is happy and baby is thriving who care how the baby is being fed, but to say the benefits are exaggerated is just bs.
****My disclaimer (not that it matters regardless) is that DS's 1 and 2 were a mix of BF and FF, DS3 has exclusively been BF****
I think the difference between breast milk and formula is really exaggerated these days. Sure breast milk is easier to digest and baby gets antibodies, but I think the difference in percentages with babies who are sick vs. not are a lot slimmer than some would like you to believe. And by the time the kids are in school you can't tell who was breastfed and who wasn't.
Not saying this to downplay breastfeeding. I just don't think FF should be viewed as "taking the easy way out" like it seems to be these days. Entire generations before us were FF and we all turned out ok.
So I'll give BFing the old college try, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out. I'll actually be happy that DH can take over night feedings when I go back to work.
I was able to BF easily for 9 months. All the BF campaigns make it out to be this wonder "drug" - yet my kid was still riddled with eczema. And my husband was BF'd, has eczema and food allergies.
I think it's really shitty to not have an 'in case I die' plan set up when you have a kid that includes a guardian, life insurance (or sufficient assets), etc.
I think the difference between breast milk and formula is really exaggerated these days. Sure breast milk is easier to digest and baby gets antibodies, but I think the difference in percentages with babies who are sick vs. not are a lot slimmer than some would like you to believe. And by the time the kids are in school you can't tell who was breastfed and who wasn't.
Not saying this to downplay breastfeeding. I just don't think FF should be viewed as "taking the easy way out" like it seems to be these days. Entire generations before us were FF and we all turned out ok.
So I'll give BFing the old college try, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out. I'll actually be happy that DH can take over night feedings when I go back to work.
Here's my UO - I completely disagree with this. The benefits of breastfeeding are definitely not exaggerated (either for the baby or the mother), there's so much more of a benefit then just it being easier to digest and the antibodies. That being said, I don't give a shit how anyone feeds their kids. Couldn't care less. If mom is happy and baby is thriving who care how the baby is being fed, but to say the benefits are exaggerated is just bs.
****My disclaimer (not that it matters regardless) is that DS's 1 and 2 were a mix of BF and FF, DS3 has exclusively been BF****
ITA w/this. Honestly, and I hope this doesn't sound mean. But I think when folks talk about the benefits being exagerated they don't really understand the science or what qualifies as best. No one (other than crazies on the internet) say that breastfeeding will cure cancer, or make it so your child NEVER gets sick. It does states that in some cases with certain illness when your kid gets sick the symptoms have shown to be less severe than w/formula. Like with RSV. The studies show breastfeeding reduces risk of RSV related hospitalization NOT reducing the rsik of RSV you know?
So like with excema. The numbers shows that EBF reduces the risk by 27% in a LOW risk population and 42% in a family with a positive family history. But this doesn't mean that your kid won't get excema. It just means they have a reduced risk of it.
Post by dulcemariamar on Feb 21, 2014 11:53:34 GMT -5
I actually think most people have a preference on the sex of the baby but are too PC to admit it or are afraid of jinxing it. Everyone wants a healthy baby but I also think people have a preference.
Post by Velar Fricative on Feb 21, 2014 11:55:14 GMT -5
Oh, I think I have one! I hope it's legit.
I want DD to be kept safe in the car, no doubt about it. We understand and obey safety recommendations and laws. But I think it's weird how many people on the internet seem really obsessed about anything car safety-related. Maybe this is all lost on me because I don't even drive? Yes, child safety is very important. But I don't see the same kind of passion (and judging!) on the interwebs for things like childproofing the home/daycare facilities even though kids spend a lot more time at home/daycare than in cars. So what is it about car safety that seems sooooo...I don't even know what word I'm looking for.
I think the difference between breast milk and formula is really exaggerated these days. Sure breast milk is easier to digest and baby gets antibodies, but I think the difference in percentages with babies who are sick vs. not are a lot slimmer than some would like you to believe. And by the time the kids are in school you can't tell who was breastfed and who wasn't.
Not saying this to downplay breastfeeding. I just don't think FF should be viewed as "taking the easy way out" like it seems to be these days. Entire generations before us were FF and we all turned out ok.
So I'll give BFing the old college try, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out. I'll actually be happy that DH can take over night feedings when I go back to work.
Here's my UO - I completely disagree with this. The benefits of breastfeeding are definitely not exaggerated (either for the baby or the mother), there's so much more of a benefit then just it being easier to digest and the antibodies. That being said, I don't give a shit how anyone feeds their kids. Couldn't care less. If mom is happy and baby is thriving who care how the baby is being fed, but to say the benefits are exaggerated is just bs.
****My disclaimer (not that it matters regardless) is that DS's 1 and 2 were a mix of BF and FF, DS3 has exclusively been BF****
From what I read on here, I would say your opinion isnt the unpopular one.
But I'll agree to disagree on me saying it's an exaggeration is bs.
leonard131 - I gotcha on the excuses. But losing weight after 30 has been a different ballgame for me. Not to mention after baby. Despite my best efforts, seeing a doctor, seeing a trainer, etc. It takes longer for some to see results than others, don't you think? But yes, some people would rather complain than act. Which applies to a lot of things in life actually.
I 100% agree but the difference between you and the people complaining who make me ragey is you are trying to do something about it. You fall into my catergory of people in first UO in that you do have legit reason to complain :-)
I know I need to buck up and start running again. During my 2012 marathon training, I happily got up at 4:30 am to go run outside 4 out of the 5 weekdays. I loved running. Then pregnancy happened and I was told to stop running immediately due to my high-risk pregnancy and I have been miserable ever since with only inconsistent running this winter. I know I need to shut up and get out there again though, but this snow isn't helping and neither is DD's sleep regression. Add a 3-hour commute each weekday and it's HARD, man. But I know I need to do it.
Do you have a TM? I know you live in a small place. But they make them so they can fold up and go in the corner when you're not using them.
Having a TM really takes away a lot of excuses of getting in runs. It's really become essential for me and my H to get in our runs while working full time and taking care of two kids.
I know I need to buck up and start running again. During my 2012 marathon training, I happily got up at 4:30 am to go run outside 4 out of the 5 weekdays. I loved running. Then pregnancy happened and I was told to stop running immediately due to my high-risk pregnancy and I have been miserable ever since with only inconsistent running this winter. I know I need to shut up and get out there again though, but this snow isn't helping and neither is DD's sleep regression. Add a 3-hour commute each weekday and it's HARD, man. But I know I need to do it.
Do you have a TM? I know you live in a small place. But they make them so they can fold up and go in the corner when you're not using them.
Having a TM really takes away a lot of excuses of getting in runs. It's really become essential for me and my H to get in our runs while working full time and taking care of two kids.
I would loooooove to have a TM but we live on the second floor and our downstairs neighbors will hate us when DD starts running around. A TM would also solve any potential childcare issues with DH's schedule becuase I know he wants to get back into the gym too and early mornings work well for both of us.
Do you have a TM? I know you live in a small place. But they make them so they can fold up and go in the corner when you're not using them.
Having a TM really takes away a lot of excuses of getting in runs. It's really become essential for me and my H to get in our runs while working full time and taking care of two kids.
I would loooooove to have a TM but we live on the second floor and our downstairs neighbors will hate us when DD starts running around. A TM would also solve any potential childcare issues with DH's schedule becuase I know he wants to get back into the gym too and early mornings work well for both of us.
Definitely true. Bummer! I hope you're able to find someway to get back into running. Don't beat yourself up too much. It will get better as she gets older.
I don't know if this is an UO or just b/c I'm a bitch eating crackers at my SIL, but
If you are a divorced parent and the other parents is involved in the child's life, then you are not a single parent. My SIL constantly talks about raising her 2 oldest (b/c oh btw, the youngest lives with dad) as a single mom. No, their father is very present in their lives and involved. You are a divorced parent. These are 2 totally different things IMO.
Now I know that some divorced parents are single parents b/c the other party isn't involved, but divorce =/= single parenting.
Amen sister- My SIL does this all the time. She has 3 and my brother has 2. Talking about how hard it is with ther 5 kids. Ummmm- both of the other parents take the kids for 2-3 days a week so my brother and SIL actually get 2-3 day a week WITHOUT kids.
@this I tried- sorry you don't agree
212 100% agree. I can't even fathom having a child and not being able to afford it- let alone 3!
And do clarify my weightloss vent it is not at the people who are actually doing some type of exercise like walking or trying to get in exercise. It is those that just point blank complain, say how much they hate exercising and have no time. I know it rough to get up at 5 am. I do it. So yeah, when you are trying and doesn't work that sucks. Complain away.
I will respectfully disagree with the first UO from leonard131. .mainly because all the small bumps in the road have added up overtime and with 3 kids, working full time, general lack of support, my anxiety depression have gotten worse over the last two years and I've tried bucking it up and putting my big girl panties on, but realized I can't do it alone and need some help so I started seeing a therapist. My 3rd apt is in in 40 minutes.
The difference is you are doing something about it. You are putting your big girl pants on in my book. I hope you are getting the help you need.
IDK if this is an UO or not, but I don't understand the obsession with exercise. At least as far as weight loss goes. I know there are many benefits, but from a weight loss standpoint, unless I'm Biggest Losering myself and working out 2+ hours a day, it has zero impact. Weight loss is 90% diet for me (and the majority of other people who struggle with weight IME).
Truth. As an exercise physiologist it used to pain me to say that to people because then all I heard was "well, then I'm definitely not exercising!." There are a TON of benefits from exercising but weight loss occurs in the kitchen (said as I just finished off a bag of sour patch kids in my office with my door closed so the students don't see their exercise physiology professor scarfing down candy).
IDK if this is an UO or not, but I don't understand the obsession with exercise. At least as far as weight loss goes. I know there are many benefits, but from a weight loss standpoint, unless I'm Biggest Losering myself and working out 2+ hours a day, it has zero impact. Weight loss is 90% diet for me (and the majority of other people who struggle with weight IME).
Not a UO! Diet is most important for weight loss. But because I have the metabolism of a tree trunk, I can't maintain any weight loss without exercising.
IDK if this is an UO or not, but I don't understand the obsession with exercise. At least as far as weight loss goes. I know there are many benefits, but from a weight loss standpoint, unless I'm Biggest Losering myself and working out 2+ hours a day, it has zero impact. Weight loss is 90% diet for me (and the majority of other people who struggle with weight IME).
I have found that for myself, exercising makes me want to eat better, but it can have the opposite effect for many. Either they are legitimately hungrier than they would be if they didn't exercise or they think "oh, I ran a mile; I totally earned this 300 calorie slice of cake."
IDK if this is an UO or not, but I don't understand the obsession with exercise. At least as far as weight loss goes. I know there are many benefits, but from a weight loss standpoint, unless I'm Biggest Losering myself and working out 2+ hours a day, it has zero impact. Weight loss is 90% diet for me (and the majority of other people who struggle with weight IME).
Truth. As an exercise physiologist it used to pain me to say that to people because then all I heard was "well, then I'm definitely not exercising!." There are a TON of benefits from exercising but weight loss occurs in the kitchen (said as I just finished off a bag of sour patch kids in my office with my door closed so the students don't see their exercise physiology professor scarfing down candy).
I do agree that what you eat is a huge factor and just exercise alone is not going make you lose weight. But it does have so many other benefits as well as helping with weight loss so I am of the camp it is combined effort- Eating well (which I also do think includes being able to healthly indulge in things like sour patch kids every now and then) and exercising.