I get ragey when a mom asks about sleep training on FB and people just chime in with "we don't BELIEVE in sleep training and practice WIO (wait it out), I can share info on that with you!" Wait it out basically means "suck it up", your kid will grow out of multiple night wakeups by the time they are 5. I find most of the time the people pushing WIO are stay at home moms with only one child.
sleep training is not the devil
Attaching to this.
People who also respond to those posts or relieved triumph posts of 'my kid finally slept more than 2 hours at a time last night' with:
Well, we love cuddles here. They're only little once. It's such a great bonding time.
Implying that, y'know, people who sleep train or are happy their kid is finally sleeping more than 2 hours don't like cuddles, don't think they're little only once and thus don't appreciate their kids, and don't like to bond with their kids.
Freaking-eff-that.
I love cuddles during the day. I don't need them at night. Of course, they are only little for so long but if I want to look back on this time with fond memories, I am going to need my sleep.
IDK if this is an UO or not, but I don't understand the obsession with exercise. At least as far as weight loss goes. I know there are many benefits, but from a weight loss standpoint, unless I'm Biggest Losering myself and working out 2+ hours a day, it has zero impact. Weight loss is 90% diet for me (and the majority of other people who struggle with weight IME).
I have found that for myself, exercising makes me want to eat better, but it can have the opposite effect for many. Either they are legitimately hungrier than they would be if they didn't exercise or they think "oh, I ran a mile; I totally earned this 300 calorie slice of cake."
This is totally me. So for now, I'm not exercising and getting my diet in check. Once that's established, I will add exercise back in.
I get ragey when a mom asks about sleep training on FB and people just chime in with "we don't BELIEVE in sleep training and practice WIO (wait it out), I can share info on that with you!" Wait it out basically means "suck it up", your kid will grow out of multiple night wakeups by the time they are 5. I find most of the time the people pushing WIO are stay at home moms with only one child.
sleep training is not the devil
Attaching to this.
People who also respond to those posts or relieved triumph posts of 'my kid finally slept more than 2 hours at a time last night' with:
Well, we love cuddles here. They're only little once. It's such a great bonding time.
Implying that, y'know, people who sleep train or are happy their kid is finally sleeping more than 2 hours don't like cuddles, don't think they're little only once and thus don't appreciate their kids, and don't like to bond with their kids.
Freaking-eff-that.
This is why I ultimately left the Kellymom FB group (they did have some helpful BFing tips though). Mommy Martyrs galore.
I actually think most people have a preference on the sex of the baby but are too PC to admit it or are afraid of jinxing it. Everyone wants a healthy baby but I also think people have a preference.
I do, too. I've had a preference with each baby and I got what I wanted the first two times. Would I jinx it if I admitted what my preference is for #3? If it helps, it's almost completely for logistical reasons.
My parents have made no bones about the fact that they were hoping for a girl when they had boys #2 and #3, and that they stopped because baby #4 was a girl (me). It doesn't bother any of us. We know they love us.
I want DD to be kept safe in the car, no doubt about it. We understand and obey safety recommendations and laws. But I think it's weird how many people on the internet seem really obsessed about anything car safety-related. Maybe this is all lost on me because I don't even drive? Yes, child safety is very important. But I don't see the same kind of passion (and judging!) on the interwebs for things like childproofing the home/daycare facilities even though kids spend a lot more time at home/daycare than in cars. So what is it about car safety that seems sooooo...I don't even know what word I'm looking for.
What I find strange is that a lot of these same people will put their kid in their lap in a cab. I don't get it.
I want DD to be kept safe in the car, no doubt about it. We understand and obey safety recommendations and laws. But I think it's weird how many people on the internet seem really obsessed about anything car safety-related. Maybe this is all lost on me because I don't even drive? Yes, child safety is very important. But I don't see the same kind of passion (and judging!) on the interwebs for things like childproofing the home/daycare facilities even though kids spend a lot more time at home/daycare than in cars. So what is it about car safety that seems sooooo...I don't even know what word I'm looking for.
What I find strange is that a lot of these same people will put their kid in their lap in a cab. I don't get it.
I actually think most people have a preference on the sex of the baby but are too PC to admit it or are afraid of jinxing it. Everyone wants a healthy baby but I also think people have a preference.
I did not have a preference with this pregnancy (my first). But now, I def want another girl. Because then I don't have to buy shit. I won't be devastated if #2 is a healthy boy, obvs, but hells yes I have a preference now. And this being a "money matter" spin off board, I assume people would get that reasoning, no?? lol
ETA and before I was pregnant I totally wanted one of each. Now I see that was folly! lol
Post by mollybrown on Feb 21, 2014 12:58:32 GMT -5
I think Girl Scout Cookies are gross and overpriced. I get caught up in the hype every year and buy some, and I'm always disappointed. I think I'll just pass next year and buy some Oreos for 25% less.
I wanted a girl and thought DS was a girl up until I saw his wang hanging all out there on the u/s screen. I admit it took me a little bit to get used to the idea that he was a boy.
Now I'm happy I'm having a boy but yeah. I get it.
I think modern parenting, with all its theories and ideas and books and the internet and research and studies that can prove just about anything, has created a culture where people are afraid to sneeze for fear they're doing something wrong in parenting or will fuck up their kids forever.
Knowing stuff is great. Asking questions is great.
Questioning every single decision you need to make for your child? Is it avocados or peaches today? If I give an avocado now, will it ruin baby forever?
The fact that you don't have the spine to figure out what works best for your family is probably more detrimental to your kids long term than anything else you might do.
UO: Modern parenting is one of the direct causes we have a generation of kids that don't know how to behave in public, and a generation of parents who are the 'Oh well, what can you do' types.
Put your damn big girl/boy panties on and parent your child already.
Re: gender preference. I wanted a boy but since we were team green I never admitted it IRL. I would have been happy either way yada yada but that's what I wanted.
Post by mollybrown on Feb 21, 2014 13:14:38 GMT -5
Here's a parenting related one...I feel like we are raising a generation of kids that aren't that well behaved overall, even when we think they are. Just in the last week, I had 2 instances where I side-eyed my friends who brought their children to my house. We don't wear shoes in our house, and one friend allowed her children to wear their shoes inside (no biggie, we never make anyone take shoes off on the first floor). I only judged her when she allowed them to walk and jump on my furniture with their shoes on. The other friends children just come in and destroy any toy in their path without her saying anything about it. These are the same kids that were playing "slam the plantation shutters shut as hard as we can" while both parents observed and said nothing. I worry that my children probably come off like assholes too to other people without me realizing it. I think we're all trying to be more relaxed than our parents, but in some ways it probably isn't a good thing.
I would never have been allowed to act like most kids do these days as a kid, and I wonder what affect it will have on the teens and adults these kids become.
I don't actually breastfeed for the health benefits. I'm in it for the added cookies and beer in my diet, the convenience, the oxytocin high, the fact that my kids love it, and because I can't imagine quitting for no particular reason. Plus I've saved a bajillion dollars over formula and WCM.
So part of me gets confused when all that gets cited in the "breastfeeding isn't that awesome" arguments is eczema and colds. Health benefits are great - me having a reduced rate of cancer sounds peachy - but I don't really think anyone does it just because the food quality is better.
I have A LOT of MMM related UO's, but I am not going to post them because I am afraid I will want to take them all back once baby is here.
LOL, that's part of the fun of it. I had SO MANY opinions before I had kids . I mean, I still do but they've changed quite a bit. Post away!
Ok fine. I am not looking to fight with anyone (because I frankly don't care if people disagree with me) and I KNOW THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A CHILD.
-I have had one drink of alcohol (wine or champagne) several times during pregnancy & have no issues with it at all -I think it's really weird that parents "these days" stay at birthday parties & playdates -I always thought we would start buying organic when I was pg or we had a baby, but I feel like I am too lazy & that's not going to happen -I am still thinking about that post about moms carrying guns in their diaper bags. It is horrifying to me. -Although I am sure we will comply with any laws necessary, the rules about grade schoolers in car seats is still so bizarre to me -I am totally mentally ok with the idea of leaving my child overnight and hope to do it sooner rather than later. I think it's good for everyone involved (child, parents, caregivers) -I do judge home birth in many situations and find it scary/dangerous -I don't have strong opinions on how my birth will/should go, and I probably will not write a birth plan. The main reason I am considering trying to do it without drugs is just to see if I can. -We are leaning towards choosing a daycare that is not the best/fanciest we can afford -We are going to travel with our baby/kids as much as we can, knowing full well that of course it won't be the same -I have no burning desire to own a home and would not sacrifice other goals/stability just to say we own one -I told people I was pregnant way too early -I firmly expect my children to work in HS/College AND get good grades (barring any exceptional issue/disability/extenuating circumstances of course) -I think it's good for kids (and parents) to go away to summer camp & the like -I am scared that our daughter will be very quiet/shy because I do not understand those types of people nor do I know how to relate to them
I mean, should I go on? I could probably do this all day.
LOL, that's part of the fun of it. I had SO MANY opinions before I had kids . I mean, I still do but they've changed quite a bit. Post away!
Ok fine. I am not looking to fight with anyone (because I frankly don't care if people disagree with me) and I KNOW THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A CHILD.
-I have had one drink of alcohol (wine or champagne) several times during pregnancy & have no issues with it at all -I think it's really weird that parents "these days" stay at birthday parties & playdates -I always thought we would start buying organic when I was pg or we had a baby, but I feel like I am too lazy & that's not going to happen -I am still thinking about that post about moms carrying guns in their diaper bags. It is horrifying to me. -Although I am sure we will comply with any laws necessary, the rules about grade schoolers in car seats is still so bizarre to me -I am totally mentally ok with the idea of leaving my child overnight and hope to do it sooner rather than later. I think it's good for everyone involved (child, parents, caregivers) -I do judge home birth in many situations and find it scary/dangerous -I don't have strong opinions on how my birth will/should go, and I probably will not write a birth plan. The main reason I am considering trying to do it without drugs is just to see if I can. -We are leaning towards choosing a daycare that is not the best/fanciest we can afford -We are going to travel with our baby/kids as much as we can, knowing full well that of course it won't be the same -I have no burning desire to own a home and would not sacrifice other goals/stability just to say we own one -I told people I was pregnant way too early -I firmly expect my children to work in HS/College AND get good grades (barring any exceptional issue/disability/extenuating circumstances of course) -I think it's good for kids (and parents) to go away to summer camp & the like -I am scared that our daughter will be very quiet/shy because I do not understand those types of people nor do I know how to relate to them
I mean, should I go on? I could probably do this all day.
Ok fine. I am not looking to fight with anyone (because I frankly don't care if people disagree with me) and I KNOW THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A CHILD.
-I have had one drink of alcohol (wine or champagne) several times during pregnancy & have no issues with it at all -I think it's really weird that parents "these days" stay at birthday parties & playdates -I always thought we would start buying organic when I was pg or we had a baby, but I feel like I am too lazy & that's not going to happen -I am still thinking about that post about moms carrying guns in their diaper bags. It is horrifying to me. -Although I am sure we will comply with any laws necessary, the rules about grade schoolers in car seats is still so bizarre to me -I am totally mentally ok with the idea of leaving my child overnight and hope to do it sooner rather than later. I think it's good for everyone involved (child, parents, caregivers) -I do judge home birth in many situations and find it scary/dangerous -I don't have strong opinions on how my birth will/should go, and I probably will not write a birth plan. The main reason I am considering trying to do it without drugs is just to see if I can. -We are leaning towards choosing a daycare that is not the best/fanciest we can afford -We are going to travel with our baby/kids as much as we can, knowing full well that of course it won't be the same -I have no burning desire to own a home and would not sacrifice other goals/stability just to say we own one -I told people I was pregnant way too early -I firmly expect my children to work in HS/College AND get good grades (barring any exceptional issue/disability/extenuating circumstances of course) -I think it's good for kids (and parents) to go away to summer camp & the like -I am scared that our daughter will be very quiet/shy because I do not understand those types of people nor do I know how to relate to them
I mean, should I go on? I could probably do this all day.
None of these are UOs!
WHAT?? But some of them directly contradict other opinions already stated!
I give up on UO's. Last time I tried on the main board, I got so many likes that it boggled my mind.
Home birth is awesome. I really think more people should consider it. I never thought I would ever have a homebirth. I don't come from a crunchy background. I was born via planned c-section since I was a twin and my Mom never BF me or my sister.
I wish that I could have gone back in time and have had a homebirth for DS as well, but I understand why I didn't and part of me just wants to have another baby so I can have another home birth. Then I remember that I have to actually pay for this baby to go to daycare and college some day and realize how much that would drain our finances.
LOL, that's part of the fun of it. I had SO MANY opinions before I had kids . I mean, I still do but they've changed quite a bit. Post away!
Ok fine. I am not looking to fight with anyone (because I frankly don't care if people disagree with me) and I KNOW THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A CHILD.
-I have had one drink of alcohol (wine or champagne) several times during pregnancy & have no issues with it at all -I think it's really weird that parents "these days" stay at birthday parties & playdates -I always thought we would start buying organic when I was pg or we had a baby, but I feel like I am too lazy & that's not going to happen -I am still thinking about that post about moms carrying guns in their diaper bags. It is horrifying to me. -Although I am sure we will comply with any laws necessary, the rules about grade schoolers in car seats is still so bizarre to me -I am totally mentally ok with the idea of leaving my child overnight and hope to do it sooner rather than later. I think it's good for everyone involved (child, parents, caregivers) -I do judge home birth in many situations and find it scary/dangerous -I don't have strong opinions on how my birth will/should go, and I probably will not write a birth plan. The main reason I am considering trying to do it without drugs is just to see if I can. -We are leaning towards choosing a daycare that is not the best/fanciest we can afford -We are going to travel with our baby/kids as much as we can, knowing full well that of course it won't be the same -I have no burning desire to own a home and would not sacrifice other goals/stability just to say we own one -I told people I was pregnant way too early -I firmly expect my children to work in HS/College AND get good grades (barring any exceptional issue/disability/extenuating circumstances of course) -I think it's good for kids (and parents) to go away to summer camp & the like -I am scared that our daughter will be very quiet/shy because I do not understand those types of people nor do I know how to relate to them
I mean, should I go on? I could probably do this all day.
Well crap, I'm going to need more if you're going for UO. Admittedly a lot of these are in the line of "breezy parenting" and I'm definitely in that camp, so no UO for me (although you already said you don't care if they are UO's, ha).
WHAT?? But some of them directly contradict other opinions already stated!
I give up on UO's. Last time I tried on the main board, I got so many likes that it boggled my mind.
I know but I think the ones you said that contradicted others mentioned here are the more popular opinions, both around these boards and outside of these boards.
Okay, maybe the overnight one is more unpopular here but it's not a flameful UO, IMO.
Home births skeeve me out the same way I don't like food on my plate to touch. I need things to be separated. Labor and delivery=hospital, sleep and sex=bed, I really can't deal with mixing things.
I don't actually breastfeed for the health benefits. I'm in it for the added cookies and beer in my diet, the convenience, the oxytocin high, the fact that my kids love it, and because I can't imagine quitting for no particular reason. Plus I've saved a bajillion dollars over formula and WCM.
So part of me gets confused when all that gets sited in the "breastfeeding isn't that awesome" arguments is eczema and colds. Health benefits are great - me having a reduced rate of cancer sounds peachy - but I don't really think anyone does it just because the food quality is better.
These are actually all of the reasons I'm going to try it. Because if it was just for the food quality, I would just say fuck it and not even try.
Post by Velar Fricative on Feb 21, 2014 13:52:27 GMT -5
Oooh, I have another one!
I think overthinking middle names is weird. I also don't like when people call their kids by their First Name Middle Name all the time. I see this a lot IRL. There is nothing wrong with these kids' first names so I don't know why the first name isn't enough.
WHAT?? But some of them directly contradict other opinions already stated!
I give up on UO's. Last time I tried on the main board, I got so many likes that it boggled my mind.
Have you spent any time on here? You UO's are preaching to chior of the sane women of MMM. Well maybe the house ownership but even that has merit because it sure is nice to call the landlord when something is broken.