I think we as a community owe it to our black members to not make excuses when something like this happens. To me it's kind of a small example of the larger issue we have in our country. Maybe I'm way off but that's how I see it.
I'm not excusing what he said at all. what I'm saying is that if his dismissive as hell "whatever" is enough to get the amount of shit dumped on you then IMPO, that's a problem.
he didn't contribute to an ongoing conversation. that didn't help things AT ALL. but neither did the dismissive responses he got.
What dismissive response? He can't take what he dishes out. Let me tell you what I hear in this, I hear that I should feel bad for calling him out and expressing why what he said was problematic. No. I am not doing that for anyone.
Imma say it again so EVERYONE understands this - if I find that what you have said is offensive and fucked up - then I will say so. Nowhere did I call him out of his name. So, that tells me that he can't handle what he put out there - even after saying it was a ticking time bomb. So I'm not apologizing for shit I said to him. Am Not Doing it.
If you don't like it, then, that's your choice but I for one am sick to death of having to be gentle with folks feelings. He didn't give a shit about how I felt when he said what he said. The difference I'm a big girl and can deal with that. I've been around here long enough and had PLENTY of run-ins with folks who disagree with me. What I don't do is play the victim and roll out all butthurt.
I think we as a community owe it to our black members to not make excuses when something like this happens. To me it's kind of a small example of the larger issue we have in our country. Maybe I'm way off but that's how I see it.
I'm not excusing what he said at all. what I'm saying is that if his dismissive as hell "whatever" is enough to get the amount of shit dumped on you then IMPO, that's a problem.
he didn't contribute to an ongoing conversation. that didn't help things AT ALL. but neither did the dismissive responses he got.
Every one of his responses was dismissive on here. Every. Single. One. But, no one can respond to HIM in a dismissive manner? Dismissiveness begets dismissiveness. Is this the twilight zone? And again, he wasn't "run off" he CHOSE to leave. The entire board wasn't all, "Please leave and never come back" as I have seen happen on ML with multiple posters WHO STILL POST. Yes, his comments pissed people off and his refusal to engage after writing his WALL of text explaining how we ALL could vote for a racist douche, as if he knows our voting preferences better than WE do, lead to some nasty comments. But don't shit in a thread and then ask why it stinks.
Bingo. And laurenpetro - he's a grown ass man and that shit gets real damn tired. Every time someone calls him on the carpet for some off the wall comment he leaves in a "huff." Bye then. I ain't chasing after a damn man to ask him to stay and poo-poo his feelings. No. Sir.
FWIW I have no memory of his ever leaving in a huff before this.
He did it after folks came for him for constantly being an ass about religion.
I'm not excusing what he said at all. what I'm saying is that if his dismissive as hell "whatever" is enough to get the amount of shit dumped on you then IMPO, that's a problem.
he didn't contribute to an ongoing conversation. that didn't help things AT ALL. but neither did the dismissive responses he got.
What dismissive response? He can't take what he dishes out. Let me tell you what I hear in this, I hear that I should feel bad for calling him out and expressing why what he said was problematic. No. I am not doing that for anyone.
Imma say it again so EVERYONE understands this - if I find that what you have said is offensive and fucked up - then I will say so. Nowhere did I call him out of his name. So, that tells me that he can't handle what he put out there - even after saying it was a ticking time bomb. So I'm not apologizing for shit I said to him. Am Not Doing it.
If you don't like it, then, that's your choice but I for one am sick to death of having to be gentle with folks feelings. He didn't give a shit about how I felt when he said what he said. The difference I'm a big girl and can deal with that. I've been around here long enough and had PLENTY of run-ins with folks who disagree with me. What I don't do is play the victim and roll out all butthurt.
the "whatever" was the dismissive response. not yours. I liked your response in particular.
I'm not excusing what he said at all. what I'm saying is that if his dismissive as hell "whatever" is enough to get the amount of shit dumped on you then IMPO, that's a problem.
he didn't contribute to an ongoing conversation. that didn't help things AT ALL. but neither did the dismissive responses he got.
I'm really baffled as to how you think people SHOULD have responded to his intentionally pot-stirring nonsense. Why does Reeve deserve kid gloves?
Because he's a dude. And since there aren't many of them we should invest in them like the world Wildlife Fund. That's all I have.
I'm really baffled as to how you think people SHOULD have responded to his intentionally pot-stirring nonsense. Why does Reeve deserve kid gloves?
Because he's a dude. And since there aen't many of them we should invest in them like the world Wildlife Fund. That's all I have.
no. my personal interaction with him has been respectful. go for yours if that's not the case (as you pointed out with the religion thing) but that's where I'm coming from on this.
I'm not excusing what he said at all. what I'm saying is that if his dismissive as hell "whatever" is enough to get the amount of shit dumped on you then IMPO, that's a problem.
he didn't contribute to an ongoing conversation. that didn't help things AT ALL. but neither did the dismissive responses he got.
Every one of his responses was dismissive on here. Every. Single. One. But, no one can respond to HIM in a dismissive manner? Dismissiveness begets dismissiveness. Is this the twilight zone? And again, he wasn't "run off" he CHOSE to leave. The entire board wasn't all, "Please leave and never come back" as I have seen happen on ML with multiple posters WHO STILL POST. Yes, his comments pissed people off and his refusal to engage after writing his WALL of text explaining how we ALL could vote for a racist douche, as if he knows our voting preferences better than WE do, lead to some nasty comments. But don't shit in a thread and then ask why it stinks.
hence the reason I don't deal with ML. I'm fine right here.
are you serious? this is a seriously shitty fucking thing to say and you know it. there is a HUGE difference between me saying "HE'S SO SWEET! YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!!!" and what I actually said and you know it.
you know what is a pretty shitty thing to say? Accusing several people of running someone off who made his own goddamn pathetic decision to leave. Don't put that on anyone but good old respectful Reeve.
I'm really trying to imagine how having rightfully-angry black posters apologize to the poor, maligned white man is going to go down in any way that's good.
no. my personal interaction with him has been respectful. go for yours if that's not the case (as you pointed out with the religion thing) but that's where I'm coming from on this.
What he said was disrespectful to the women of color on this board. His flippant ass responses were even more so. Just because he never offended you personally, doesn't magically mean he wasn't offensive,?
Dev never was disrespectful to me personally, but that doesn't mean he wasn't still a disrespectful ass.
Again, your personal interaction with him doesn't get to trump what he said. By implying we somehow ran him off and it was wrong BECAUSE he's always been respectful to you, is saying that his disrespecfulness to the WOC on this board is less important.
That's the only time I'mma be nice about this too, because I'm trying not t break my keyboard again.
(to the bolded) I'm saying that my personal interactions with him shaped what I said. I had never before seen him condescending (which I said he was) or offensive (which I believe I said he was). what I said was that he wasn't ill-intentioned. which I still believe is the case. Nita filled me in on the backstory which I was unaware existed.
so no, I am not saying that anyone is less important than me (or anyone else on this board) and I am not saying that you guys should suck it up because he's a guy and his feelings are super important.
I'm really trying to imagine how having rightfully-angry black posters apologize to the poor, maligned white man is going to go down in any way that's good.
I'm.... pretty sure I never requested an apology. I'm more worried about who this is going to come down on next time.
ETA: and I'm nearly positive I said what he said was wrong.
I'm really trying to imagine how having rightfully-angry black posters apologize to the poor, maligned white man is going to go down in any way that's good.
That's why I said again - let the record reflect that at any point in time I feel offensive shit is said - I'm calling you out for it. I am not going to sit around and be nice about it.
And this is known. I can't think of a single person on GBCN who knows I won't go Miss Sophia on you when it comes to anything race related. I'm not playing that so if I see it and have this response -
I'm really trying to imagine how having rightfully-angry black posters apologize to the poor, maligned white man is going to go down in any way that's good.
I'm.... pretty sure I never requested an apology. I'm more worried about who this is going to come down on next time.
Oh I can tell you - the next person who is dismissive of black folks on CEP spending time talking about race issues and then telling me it's not that important than my right to live.
And if you can't sit here and take someone telling you why they vehemently disagree with your stance, a board that discusses politics all day everyday probably ain't for you anyway.
If telling someone off in response to some dumb/offensive shit is problematic here, please let me know so I can quit the poster exchange program forthwith.
Also, it was so gentle. It was less like a flaming, more like a warming. It was basically a warm hug from a grandmother.
What he said was disrespectful to the women of color on this board. His flippant ass responses were even more so. Just because he never offended you personally, doesn't magically mean he wasn't offensive,?
Dev never was disrespectful to me personally, but that doesn't mean he wasn't still a disrespectful ass.
Again, your personal interaction with him doesn't get to trump what he said. By implying we somehow ran him off and it was wrong BECAUSE he's always been respectful to you, is saying that his disrespecfulness to the WOC on this board is less important.
That's the only time I'mma be nice about this too, because I'm trying not t break my keyboard again.
(to the bolded) I'm saying that my personal interactions with him shaped what I said. I had never before seen him condescending (which I said he was) or offensive (which I believe I said he was). what I said was that he wasn't ill-intentioned. which I still believe is the case. Nita filled me in on the backstory which I was unaware existed.
so no, I am not saying that anyone is less important than me (or anyone else on this board) and I am not saying that you guys should suck it up because he's a guy and his feelings are super important.
As an aside, is there anyone on here who hasn't been condescending? I kind of thought that was CEP 101. We all are at some point.
THAT SAID, I am not so convinced it wasn't ill-intentioned*, but even if it wasn't, I don't even really think that's relevant. Reeve said Something Shitty. NitaX said, "Hey, that Something Shitty you said is shitty because here are the reasons this matters to me and other black folks." His very next response was, "Nothing I say will be taken as anything other than whitesplaining and mansplaining, so I'm out." Even if other people's responses were unwarranted (which they weren't, but I'm going with you for the sake of argument), Nita offered a firm but substantive response explaining why Something Shitty was, indeed, shitty. Sometimes people say Something Shitty without intending to offend. When that is the case and they realize they have offended someone, the appropriate response is to a) apologize for saying something offensive, b) inquire why it is offensive if you still do not understand, and c) reflect on why someone was offended by your statement. Reeve could have responded in any number of ways. He chose to flounce. That is basically the opposite of being run off. Look, we've run some people off from time to time. This is not one of those times.
*I am not willing to concede that it was not ill-intentioned because THE EXACT SAME DISCUSSION had just gone on with pixy, and he still rolled in here to tell black posters why climate change is worse than their number one political priority. If that's not dismissive, I don't know what is.
(to the bolded) I'm saying that my personal interactions with him shaped what I said. I had never before seen him condescending (which I said he was) or offensive (which I believe I said he was). what I said was that he wasn't ill-intentioned. which I still believe is the case. Nita filled me in on the backstory which I was unaware existed.
so no, I am not saying that anyone is less important than me (or anyone else on this board) and I am not saying that you guys should suck it up because he's a guy and his feelings are super important.
As an aside, is there anyone on here who hasn't been condescending? I kind of thought that was CEP 101. We all are at some point.
THAT SAID, I am not so convinced it wasn't ill-intentioned*, but even if it wasn't, I don't even really think that's relevant. Reeve said Something Shitty. NitaX said, "Hey, that Something Shitty you said is shitty because here are the reasons this matters to me and other black folks." His very next response was, "Nothing I say will be taken as anything other than whitesplaining and mansplaining, so I'm out." Even if other people's responses were unwarranted (which they weren't, but I'm going with you for the sake of argument), Nita offered a firm but substantive response explaining why Something Shitty was, indeed, shitty. Sometimes people say Something Shitty without intending to offend. When that is the case and they realize they have offended someone, the appropriate response is to a) apologize for saying something offensive, b) inquire why it is offensive if you still do not understand, and c) reflect on why someone was offended by your statement. Reeve could have responded in any number of ways. He chose to flounce. That is basically the opposite of being run off. Look, we've run some people off from time to time. This is not one of those times.
*I am not willing to concede that it was not ill-intentioned because THE EXACT SAME DISCUSSION had just gone on with pixy, and he still rolled in here to tell black posters why climate change is worse than their number one political priority. If that's not dismissive, I don't know what is.
*I took it as his standing up for a friend. that was my POV when reading that.
I will freely admit that I am don't read as many posts as I "should" for this but I'm a little disturbed at a long time regular being run off the board over this.
was what he said totally misguided? yes. condescending? yes. was it ill-intentioned? no.
he's not Dev, ffs. i've never had an interaction with him that was anything but respectful even when we totally disagreed on a topic.
I like Reeve. That said, we've all been flamed far, far worse than that and haven't left in a huff. That's what I don't care about. He got to say his thoughts, and then when he got called on them, whined, stomped, and peaced out. I get needing to step away. But when you do it like that, along with a deactivation, I'm not gonna be all sad and beg you to come back. I'm gonna wave and carry on. That's not running a regular off. That's a straight up temper tantrum.
So he took up for a friend, then posted snide shit and I'm supposed to feel bad he deactivated?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
No. I'm not and laurenpetro, I like you but I can tell you now, you can save your keystrokes because I'm not apologizing ESPECIALLY when I didn't do shit wrong. Not doing it. I have no gods to appease here.
ETA: And I take your comments laurenpetro as specific to me. I am the one who had the back and forth with Reeve. And I'm not apologizing. I said what I said and I stand by every single word of it. If what you feel is that I've wronged Reeve - SAY IT WITH YO' CHEST. His comments about leaving were quoted with mine. So, what exactly do you want?
You want me to be nicer to people? What's the ask here. I don't tip-toe around shit. If there is a problem, put all ya cards out on the table. Nothing beats a clear understanding.
I don't like to be all "I was here" in those kinds of threads because it feels awkward, so I've been trying to ask questions instead. It's two-fold because (1) it shows I read it - yay! and (2) it furthers the discussion.
This is a good approach. I read threads, but the larger, heavier threads I read, absorb and learn from. I feel that anything I say would be menial in comparison to the weight of the topic, so I just read and learn from it. But from now on I'll try to post in those threads more.
As for the rest of this thread.. eesh. I'm feeling some fremdschamen for some posters.
So he took up for a friend, then posted snide shit and I'm supposed to feel bad he deactivated?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
No. I'm not and laurenpetro, I like you but I can tell you now, you can save your keystrokes because I'm not apologizing ESPECIALLY when I didn't do shit wrong. Not doing it. I have no gods to appease here.
ETA: And I take your comments laurenpetro as specific to me. I am the one who had the back and forth with Reeve. And I'm not apologizing. I said what I said and I stand by every single word of it. If what you feel is that I've wronged Reeve - SAY IT WITH YO' CHEST. His comments about leaving were quoted with mine. So, what exactly do you want?
You want me to be nicer to people? What's the ask here. I don't tip-toe around shit. If there is a problem, put all ya cards out on the table. Nothing beats a clear understanding.
I have to drive (I am not driving right now pixy ) but I said a couple of times that I didn't ask for an apology and am not asking for one and certainly don't expect anyone, save for Reece, to apologize.
But why stand up for her after she's admitted she was wrong? And even if you initially saw her point, wouldn't everything else have followed have shown you that you were wrong along with her?
I have no idea. That was just my takeaway from this.
I think that's because work is kicking my ass though.
On the reeve front, he's an adult. Own up to saying your shitty thing and that always goes a lot further/farther (whichever - fuck it, I'm tired) than "whatever." If you haven't gotten that figured out by your 30s, then you probably can't be helped. Nobody's forced to stay here anyway.
Just replying directly to this after my last post - it wasn't you specifically. Not at all. Blame it on the board evolution. Things change, and move around. We'll always have non-political threads and Facebook.
I'm also (not) surprised that a number did not chime in during this thread. Ok. Not so surprised.
Trump - over it, not interested Then it became time to turn on each other because we're bored - not interested.