I'm gonna leave this here

[compassrose]

You deserve a million times better than this. Your life doesn't have to be this way.

I'm also willing to help even though I'm not local. You would not be the first poster we helped leave an abusive as asshole. This is amazing community and we are here for you.

[franklin]

I said this in the other post, but I want to say again - NO ONE deserves to be treated this way. You would not be failing by leaving, in fact, it sounds like it would be a win. Anyone who would make you feel otherwise can fuck off. Please reach out to someone. You deserve to be treated like a human being.

Eta: Maybe an overreaction, but do you feel that you and your kids are safe? Again, please reach out to someone.

[Eagles]

Jan 29, 2016 21:40:20 GMT -5 BaliHai said:

You're in the suburbs, right? Me too. You can PM me if you want; please do, if I can help you in any way. And you know the Philly crew has you.

You don't deserve this life. You really don't. Big hugs.

Eta- Eagles can vouch for me, and I her. We are not posting here wearing each other's skin.

We are totally legit.

[slcjess]

I am so sorry. It can be so hard to admit verbal/emotional abuse to yourself and see that just like physical violence, you don't have to endure. I know I spent many nights thinking 'well, he's not wrong, I am fat. I am lazy. Those are both true things so I must deserve this', and someone told me 'if it was my husband saying those things, what would you tell me?' Obviously, my answer was to leave, without hesitation. You are worthy. You deserve better. Being alone is better than this. Hugs.

[sparkythelawyer]

Oh my goodness.

You have value. And more strength than you could possibly know.

If you are in the Chicago metro area I can put you in touch with some local resources.

You are worth so much more than this

[ginandjucie24]

You deserve so much more than this. So do your kids.

Please, please reach out for help, here or irl.

[cuddlyevil]

Whatever you need, please let us know. I am not "local" but you're welcome to visit. Hell, bring the kids, mine love making new friends.

You are loved and deserve all happiness.

[tictac]

Given the choice, I'd much rather say "yeah, I've been divorced twice, but I've grown as a person and I'm so much happier/better for the experience" than "Well, yeah, he supports Trump, has the worst possible taste in candy, and makes me feel like shit on regular basis ... but as least I'm married!"

You can do better for yourself, you really can. So do better-DTMFA.

Your kids will thank you for it when they're old enough to understand, I promise.

[katb]

Ditto what many have said here. You deserve better, no one deserves to live like this. Most important - come up with a plan. Start to save money, put money in your own name (even if it is a credit card with out him knowing right now), and reach out so you know a safe place for you and your children to go, if needed. Please reach out to other women, they will help you

[laurack]

Oh my god, you poor girl. Please tell someone, tell your bff. Please do not feel like a failure for having two failed marriages. You deserve happiness. I'm sorry for being flippant in the trump thread, I had no idea

I hope you can get out soon and have a new start.

[kaybee85]

Someone else echoing that you deserve better. I hope you realize that each message saying that means it. I know you may not be ready to leave yet, but you have people here who will help you find local resources if you need it and be here for you to vent.

[AHappierHour]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope your ok and please call someone and tell them what you said here.

[oliviapope]

I just want to give you a huge hug.

You mention staying for stability; there is no stability when you live with an abuser. You deserve better and the title of married means nothing if it means you are miserable every day of your life. Please tell someone in your real life, you need to leave.

[spartyfan]

My heart is breaking for you. Please call someone for help - you deserve a much happier life, free from abuse. Hugs.

[eddy]

In the past we have made threads where we just state where we are from. Or if you give us your region we can pm you if we are in the same area. Then you know who is around to help n

[lauralala]

I am so sorry. There is a lot of great advice and offers of help here. Think about it, and remember that there are a lot of people on your side because you deserve people on your side. You deserve better.

[Eagles]

The Women's Center of Montco has a 24 hour hotline.
www.wcmontco.org/
1-800-773-2424

So does Laurel House.
laurel-house.org/
1‑800‑642‑3150




It's a big county, but I can delete if it's safer.

[rex]

you can do this. you deserve more, and you are worth more.

please tell someone.

[elleblue]

{{{superduper}}} I said it in the other thread but I'll say it again, you deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve to be loved. Please reach out to your bff or others here who are offering help, you don't have to do this alone.

[anlo]

You have worth, and you are stronger than you believe. Keep reading this thread and let these posts sink in. Then take the next step and tell someone what is happening. (((Hugs)))

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I just finished reading the Trump thread, and I almost commented to you there that I understand not discussing stuff like this with him. I once got into a giant screaming fight about Obama vs McCain with my XH, and it did nothing to change his mind but it did ruin our night out. With some people it's just not worth the hassle of fighting.

That said, it's not worth it to live your life avoiding a fight either. It sounds like your H is a real dick and there is NO reason you have to spend the rest of your life this unhappy. Yes, you chose to marry him but I highly doubt you chose this. Even if you did, anyway, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind when you realize it doesn't work for you. What's worse - being judged for being divorced twice, or being so unhappy every day for the rest of your life that you have to drug yourself to get through the night?

I know it's hard, but I also know you'll be so much happier once you get out.

[cbwm1]

You deserve so much better than him, superduper. And so do your kids. Please let us know how we can help.

[atlas]

This is heartbreaking. Please listen to Eagles and use her help. She is one of the most caring people I've met through the internet and I swear she is good-people.

You don't deserve a bad marriage. You deserve the best.

[emsumm]

Sending love. And courage ❤️

[goaskalice]

You deserve to be safe and loved. Taking care of yourself may seem impossible right now, but the hotlines people have posted can help make it a little bit easier.

I'll be thinking of you.

[janegold]

Huge hugs to you. Take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to talk to someone - a family member, a friend, a therapist. We all need help sometimes, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry.  You don't deserve this.  Please don't regret sharing.  I was in a similar situation with my xh.  I walked on eggshells constantly waiting for the next explosion, nothing I did was right, I had pretty bad panic attacks and was in a constant state of anxiety.  He yelled and picked on everything I did or didn't do.  He isolated me...he broke my cell phone more than once.  At the end it became physical.  It took me some time to realize that he was never, ever going to change...my life was actually in danger.  Can you live exactly like this for the next 10...20...30 years?  
Please don't stay with him.  PM me or any of us, please.  You are worth so much more.  

[joshlyman]

I am so so sorry you are dealing with this. You do not deserve this, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. I am going to say it again, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Nothing about you caused this. Nothing you have done or said made you deserve this.

I know all too well that leaving is hard. There are many survivors of abuse on this board, and and all of them will say that getting the courage to leave was one of the hardest things they have done. But they will also tell you how much better their lives are because of it. There is a better life out there waiting for you. One where you are free to be yourself and not walk on eggshells. You can leave. You do have the strength and courage to do it. You are so much stronger than you believe. And you are worth it.

[Deleted]

superduper You need to leave that man with only his ugly maroon man chair as company.

You have value and worth and you deserve to be treated well. The first step is treating yourself well.

By harassing you about calling/ texting with your BFF he is isolating you. This is a classic step towards further abuse.

Please reach out to someone. You may honk that YOU can survive this, but by staying you're silently telling your daughter that this kind of treatment is acceptable, this setting her up for the high likelihood of also being abused. You can break the cycle!

[curtains]

I think you are close to me. If you need anything at all you can pm. I can come get you for lunch or drinks or even drive the getaway car if you ever need.

You deserve so much better.

I am so so sorry.