I'm gonna leave this here

[lilac05]

I know it's all been said before, but it's worth repeating:

You deserve better. You are worth it. The kids deserve better. THEY are worth it, too!

Please call or email your bff and say exactly what you have posted here.

It doesn't matter if this is your second or 52nd marriage...anyone who would judge you for leaving this situation is worthless.

What would you tell your bff or daughter to do? Do that.

You have literally dozens (& probably hundreds) of women supporting you here. We will help you through this. You are NOT alone.

[frkls]

Holy shit. I'm so so sorry...please take good care of yourself

[catscatscats]

I'm so sorry to read this. Everything you wrote sounds so familiar. I've been there and there is a better life for you. You don't deserve this. Please reach out to your friend.

[dreamcrisp1]

There is a better life for you out there. A better life for your kids. You are so worth it.

[noradog]

I just want you all to know, you just encouraged me to text my BFF.
superduper you should do the same ( or call one of the hotlines)

[FormerlyRR]

Three failed marriages checking in. The last one passed away before I could divorce him, but he was verbally and emotionally abusive, and I felt it was just a matter of time before it became physical.
I am in a much better place emotionally, and have done some major work pulling myself up by my bootstraps. PM me if you want a sympathetic ear.
All the hugs sweet lady. All of them.

[deanlicker78]

I'm so sorry. You do not deserve this!

[runforrest]

Please stay safe.
You and your kids deserve so much better. You are not a failure if you leave this toxic relationship. Hugs.

[bugandbibs]

I'm so sorry you are living with this. You matter. You deserve better. You can get help. Please reach out to your friends and the people here. You are not alone.

[MrsPenny]

I really hope you are okay. I know what it's like to be with someone like this. It really scares me that you say you tried to kill yourself last year. I really hope you and your kids find a safer place. You all deserve so much better than this.

[medicmommy]

Please consider leaving. No one should have to live like that!

[sonrisa]

((hugs))

Your kids deserve to have you in their lives. This awful situation almost took you away. You know that means something has to change.

I'm talking about them, not you, because plenty of other people have told you that other truth - that you deserve better. But sometimes we are stronger when we act for our kids rather than for ourselves. So I'm making them my main argument. Your kids almost lost their mother and almost faced having only him, not you, in their lives. Something needs to change for you.

((hugs))

[flex]

I know how easy it is to talk yourself out of leaving a bad relationship. Only you can decide when it's going to end--you'll know when the time has come. It's just a matter of time.

[YeahSure]

Jan 29, 2016 21:31:13 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I want to give you 100 hugs.

 Starting over sucks, but I promise it's worth it. You are worth it.

^^ This right here. 

Also The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans is a good read.

[styme46]

Jan 29, 2016 23:30:29 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

((hugs))

Your kids deserve to have you in their lives. This awful situation almost took you away. You know that means something has to change.

I'm talking about them, not you, because plenty of other people have told you that other truth - that you deserve better. But sometimes we are stronger when we act for our kids rather than for ourselves. So I'm making them my main argument. Your kids almost lost their mother and almost faced having only him, not you, in their lives. Something needs to change for you.

((hugs))

Very much this.

I'm sorry you are going through this. We are here for you. (((Hugs)))

[tevagirl]

So many hugs! Your are strong, you can be a survivor. Please make a plan to get out before it becomes physical. For you and your kids.

[erbear]

I hope you're ok. The other girls have it covered. You are worth more than this and you deserve someone who loves you, and your kids deserve a mom who isn't scared or numb.

It sounds like you're local to me - please reach out if you need something. i'm going to PM you my number.

[Deleted]

Just ditto to everyone. Sweetie I'm so sad you tried to commit suicide last summer but so grateful you weren't successful. I'm begging you to get help. You are valuable! You are worth it! You deserve better.

I'm glad you posted bc I think it will help you take steps to get where you need to be. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. All the hugs I can offer are coming your way. Prayers too. Please talk to someone IRL

[DotAndBuzz]

So many hugs to you. You have value and worth. Even if you don't believe that right now, your kids believe that without question. Please talk to someone and allow yourself to ask for help. As someone else mentioned, leaving isn't failure, it's survival. Hugs, strength, and peace to you.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jan 29, 2016 21:40:50 GMT -5 Eagles said:

Oh, hon. You deserve better. You matter.

I'm not far from you. Do you want to meet for lunch one Sunday, just to get out and talk?

I can do this, too. 

The Philly girls are here for you. You deserve so much better. 

[liverandonions]

Get out. Now. You deserve better. Please get help. <3

[nicbreeful]

superduper, you are so strong and courageous just for posting this.

And you posting your story on this board tells me that you know you deserve better.

Please, PLEASE let us help you achieve that. You are important. You are wonderful. You do NOT deserve what he does to you. No matter how he tries to tell you that you deserve it.

It's scary and terrifying and he's probably spent years convincing you that you can't survive without him. But we both know that he's a liar.

You CAN. And you WILL. You just have to take that first step. And when you do, we are here for you.

[youhadmycuriosity]

I just want to echo all the PPs that said you do not deserve to be treated in this way. I would be MORTIFIED to treat my worst enemy the way your husband has treated you. It honestly does not compute in my brain to treat another human being that way. You deserve better. You deserve better. You deserve better. It has been said a ton of times in this thread, in a ton of different ways, but, for a countless time, you deserve better. I honestly hope this thread, whether you delete it or not, helps you come to a decision to leave. Sure, at least counseling- but I peeked at the Trump thread before I posted to make sure I wasn't missing something and the story about the $50 literally made my stomach drop. PPS have offered much more than I can, being in your area, but in case finances are part of the stability equation for you, I just wanted to offer any advice I might have to give, since I work in that industry.

Also, just, all the hugs.

[karmasabiotch]

Please get help. I know it's hard to leave but once you do you will wonder why you didn't sooner. The thought of it is so much worse than the actuality of doing it.

As far as self medicating and suicidal thoughts or actions, you need to het help now. Even if it's just on a suicidal prevention website where you can talk to someone rhrough their chat function if you aren't able to talk on the phone. I know the devastation of those left behind, and I can tell you it changes the course of the people that love and care about you forever, and also will make your children also think of suicide as a solution to those problems as they get older.

We are here for you, Use us now and even after you do d IRL help. We care.

[mrsukyankee]

I'm going to suggest you head over to the SO board. The women on there are amazing and will give you thoughtful suggestions. You and your kids do not deserve this. At all.

[MixedBerryJam]

I'm so sorry, (((superduper))). You ARE superduper and you deserve so much better than what he's giving you. You've gotten a lot of good advice here, and I really bet your bff won't be surprised if and when you tell her all this. She'll want to help, I'm sure of it. I hope you and your kids find peace. I know the feeling of staying for the "stability", but think also of the stability you will feel without the chaos your husband brings to the table.

[mom2twoboys]

I'm so sorry! You deserve to be treated better! No one should have to live like that.

[LizLemler]

I just wanted to include my support. This breaks my heart, and you and your little ones deserve better. If you are afraid to say where you are for fear that he will figure out, but would like help, please PM one of those that has offered, and if they are not near I'm sure they will figure out a way to get help to you. I am in Houston, and I know you don't know me from Adam, but am more than willing to help. Please keep posting.

[ECB]

I just wanted to add my support. You do deserve better. No one. NO ONE will judge you for leaving.

[Deleted]

I'm relatively new to posting here but I want to let you know that I'm also not far from Philly (moved over the bridge to NJ)

I left my abuser in January of 2010. I was in Delco at the time. I wasn't married, but I know attorneys, people at the domestic violence shelters, and have been through the ringer with courts there, etc when I left.

Please don't hesitate to reach out of there is anything I can do or if you ever want to talk. I've BTDT with having to "hide" conversations, being isolated from my friends and family, having to live with the gas lighting and walking on eggshells.

You may not be able to see how all of this is HIS issue right now because you're in the thick of it - but please know there is a much better way of life out there.

Many hugs.