Right now I'm still in shock. I don't know if the marriage can be saved. I really don't know. But I owe it to myself and to my children to figure out if it's possible to move past this. Some couples do move past it. I'm in contact with a family friend right now whose husband had an affair, they worked it out, and she says their marriage is stronger than ever, so I do believe that it's possible for some people. I just don't know if it's possible for us yet because this is all so new.
I know everyone is saying DTMFA, and I still may, but I need to sort through a lot of stuff before I make any kind of decision.
Just to be clear...I think there are quite a few of us who are not telling you to DTMFA outright. I think your situation and his response looks pretty darn bad, but I've been on the receiving end of the calls for DTMFA, so I know how that goes....and I will never presume to know you, your husband, or your marriage better than you do.