Good for her. She has love in her life, a partner to raise her children. I actually think given the tragedy of her first husband's illness and demise, that she more than deserves a quick transition to a new loving and supportive partner.
Post by oliviapope on Sept 27, 2016 16:46:04 GMT -5
Good for her. What an incredibly sad situation, I'm glad she's been able to move on. And given that she's known her new husband for 10 years, I don't find it to be judgeworthy.
But unless she rekindled their friendship and then decided to marry him all within a few months.... This relationship started before her husband passed.
And if she did decide to marry him within just a few months... Well if it was anyone else making that decision ML would be ALL OVER IT with how bad of a decision that is.
That said I don't follow her. The funeral pictures are a tad over the top. She looks so pretty in them but I know if my husband had just died I would look like a hot mess.
No judgement at all though. Cause that is sad to be so young to have to go through something so devastating.
I hate these types of statement. It implies that you love your spouse more than she loved hers.
And yes, you are judging her when you make statements like that.
That is not what I meant. But I guess I can see what you mean. I have never been a fan of funeral pics. So maybe I am judging that. That does not mean I think she didn't love her husband. From the little I read she obviously loved him and there is no comparison being made my love vrs her love.
Maybe I'm butthurt because this mirrors my mom and dad's relationship as well, but gtfo of here with that bs speculation.
Her husband was ill and dying. You don't think, during his decline, she was already grieving? What is the suitable time period to wait? She has 5 kids. If she's ready to move on, so be it.
My parents were married shortly after my dad's first wife died. She had been ill for some time. He had 2 young children. He wanted to be married. He loved my mom. Right place, right time. This speculation is so disgusting.
This is similar to grandpa and his first wife (my dads mom). She died of brain cancer when my dad was a kid and my grandfather got married a few months later. He was accused of cheating on his wife while she was dying which is just disgusting.
And while that marriage didn't last, the accusations that were made against him did a whole lot of damage.
Post by deanlicker78 on Sept 27, 2016 17:14:20 GMT -5
That's a lot to ask of those children. To see your father dying to grieving their dad's death to meet your new father in a few months time is a lot. I get that they're young, but still.
I think it's great she was in a place to move on, but idk. Not even thinking of just her and the kids, but this man went from a single dude to a married father of five very quickly. That's huge.
I judged emiliemadison and her goat farm for the same reason. Oh her kids were totes fine with moving out of their home with their dad directly in to a new home with the boyfriend because they knew him already. Right. No adjustment necessary.
Rushing into a new relationship after a major life upheaval is never usually a good thing. I hope it all works out for them, they certainly deserve some happiness. However I don't think that it's necessarily cruel or mean for people to side eye this.
Eta: I guess the way some people are questioning it is a little cruel. The, his body isn't even cold, comment in particular.
Post by RoxMonster on Sept 27, 2016 17:15:08 GMT -5
I don't know this blog or blogger, but I cannot and won't judge this.
We found out my FIL's diagnosis a little over a year before he died. My DH and MIL grieved immensely when we found out what the cancer was, the stage, and the prognosis. That was when the grieving took place. All those months leading up to his death when the person they knew was not really there anymore (and I felt the same way, but am just talking about this in terms of spouses/kids). By the time he did pass away, he was a shell of himself and they were ready--ready for him to not be in pain anymore and they had prepared for this moment for months.
My MIL is not remarried, but I would not judge her one iota if she remarried soon after and I don't even like the woman! People actually told my DH in the days after his father's death that they were surprised he wasn't more upset and I wanted to tell them to fuck off. They weren't there for the 14 months before this where he knew he was going to lose him and grieved for him then. Death is a mindfuck and I don't judge how people handle it when it happens or after.
I hate these types of statement. It implies that you love your spouse more than she loved hers.
And yes, you are judging her when you make statements like that.
That is not what I meant. But I guess I can see what you mean. I have never been a fan of funeral pics. So maybe I am judging that. That does not mean I think she didn't love her husband. From the little I read she obviously loved him and there is no comparison being made my love vrs her love.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using proboards
One of those "offhand" remarks that people make goes like this: "You look great [comforting pat here]! If I just [insert loss here] I'd be a mess" is beyond hurtful to someone who's suffered a loss, so don't say it irl.
I have no idea who this is, but think that blog post was really sweet. For all we know, they rekindled things before her husband passed, with his blessing. Or maybe it really did just snowball quickly. Who knows. Regardless, the pictures of him with her kids are cute. I hope it works out for them. He's certainly a champ for being willing to take on raising 5 kids. That's a lot to handle.
Yeah. It takes a special kind of awful to call into question the truth of an internet posters cancer diagnosis.
Thank goodness those kind of people stick to GOMI.
Oh we definitely have our share of shitty posters, gomi just seems to be overrun with them, or at least that was my impression when I glanced at it. I'm sure there are plenty of crossover posters too, wasn't that a favorite place of booby's?
Post by MixedBerryJam on Sept 27, 2016 18:02:18 GMT -5
Is pharmashill a troll? Because she's beyond disgusting in this thread. I don't want to go look at the rest of her albeit brief post history. Dead people's families ARE forever. What an assholish thing to say.
she probably had a lot of time/energy for an extramarital affair, caring for 5 small children and her dying husband in home hospice care. bowel care is sexy.
But unless she rekindled their friendship and then decided to marry him all within a few months.... This relationship started before her husband passed.
And if she did decide to marry him within just a few months... Well if it was anyone else making that decision ML would be ALL OVER IT with how bad of a decision that is.
Well, maybe she did. Didn't you get engaged after a few weeks of dating?
I have no illusions about ML but bar a few, I think most wouldn't jump to accusing a recent widow of cheating.
I don't read this blog, so if you have firsthand proof of her being unfaithful, I'll take back my words.
A whole lot of people in this thread can go fuck themselves.
Even if you've been through this exact situation (and I have by the way) you don't get to judge her or anyone else. Grief does not have a goddamn timeline. Fuck you.
That said I don't follow her. The funeral pictures are a tad over the top. She looks so pretty in them but I know if my husband had just died I would look like a hot mess.
No judgement at all though. Cause that is sad to be so young to have to go through something so devastating.
Sorry her grief isn't good enough for you. Obviously you'd take it so much harder if your husband died. Guess what, after it happens you get up every day and function because there isn't another choice.
Post by hungrycaterpillar on Sept 27, 2016 20:07:00 GMT -5
I really hope that those of you passing judgement on this woman are never in a similar situation. I can't even begin to fathom how she must have felt - 25, five kids, and alone for probably the first time since she left her parents home. I can't imagine how isolating that must feel. If she can have support, happiness, and love, and her children have the same, I don't fault her for one moment.
Some of these comments/speculation are just unspeakably ugly.
Post by turnipthebeet on Sept 27, 2016 20:12:22 GMT -5
I didn't initially realize the gap in time from when the OP was posted to when she posted her blog about being remarried. So for 1.5 pages, my only question was how did she find time to get married the day after her H passed. No judgement, more logistics.
I don't know this family or follow her blog, but assuming they are Mormon/in Utah (which is often a safe assumption with lifestyle blogs like this), strangers often meet and get married in less than 2 months here. It is far more common than a 12 month engagement. I am glad she's happy.
But unless she rekindled their friendship and then decided to marry him all within a few months.... This relationship started before her husband passed.
And if she did decide to marry him within just a few months... Well if it was anyone else making that decision ML would be ALL OVER IT with how bad of a decision that is.
Well, maybe she did. Didn't you get engaged after a few weeks of dating?
I have no illusions about ML but bar a few, I think most wouldn't jump to accusing a recent widow of cheating.
I don't read this blog, so if you have firsthand proof of her being unfaithful, I'll take back my words.
She eluded to it in her post, I believe. Not cheating, but at the timeline of him coming in. So it would appear she did have time for it prior to Martin passing. I was harsh in my wording. I would imagine he was a source of strength for her during that time and then it led to more.
I was engaged after two weeks (married after 9 months) but I did not have 5 kids (or any kids) who just watched their father die.
I cannot say what I would do in that situation, but I can say with absolute certainty that I would not remarry in a matter of months after my husband passed. NOT because I wouldn't want to, because only she knows her grief and heart, but I would not remarry that quickly because of my kids. Date? Sure. Think about a future with someone? Absolutely. Have a man move in, replace the father figure in my children's life (as per her blogpost) and get married in a few months? No, I would not do that.
She is 25, a widow and has five kids. I don't necessarily think this quick marriage was a good decision. But hey, this is her life, that she chooses to blog about on the internet. I am only seeing one part of it, the part she chooses to share.
I was also the first one to say that Emile breaking up her marriage and making her kids move from a house with their father into a home with a man they considered their "uncle" and moms best friend, wasn't romantic.