I do think things are a little different when kids are involved and that the ages of the children and the circumstances surrounding the death are also a factor. If the kids are really young, they might take to someone easily and readily (as I would have, most likely), but if they are older they may have a much harder time seeing this new person with their parent and taking the other parent's place, as they see it. Because of this, I think it really depends on how your kids are doing. When you introduce this person to your children. Apparently my mom did date some after my dad passed, but we never met them. She said, if things had progressed to a more serious place, she would have, but did not want us getting attached and then having to explain things not working out.
A mom knows her kids better than anyone else. I just hope in any situation the person is doing what is best for everyone. That they are happy, but so are their kids.
I am happy that you have met someone.
I don't have any kids...but thank you
And seriously fuck anyone who will judge you and how you took care of your H. It is so easy to say what I would do when, in reality, most people don't have a clue. When the person you love is sick, you try everything to make them better. I know you did that and I can tell you that loved him to the fullest. and most importantly, he knew that. He knew all that you did for him. And if they cannot just be happy for you, then fuck em!
Also, laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions. After my Gram's wake, we were sharing funny stories about her because we all needed that. We needed to remember how much she made us laugh, and not always intentionally, and how much she loved us and us her. I mean, they played a Bob Seger song at my dad's funeral because it was his favorite. It is about remembering that person as they were and everything that brought to our lives and that should always include smiles and laughter.
Big hugs and again, so happy you have met someone.