The poster wrote she got married the day after her DH died and wanted clarification. Shrug.
Hmm. I did not read she asked for clarification. What I read that you wrote came across as judgy like another person in this thread.
I really think this entire thread needs to be deleted. Especially with the news of another poster. It is not helpful. Nor is it kind.
You're right - I wasn't asking for clarification. I completely missed that someone bumped a 3 month old thread at first, so I was reading it all as though it happened within a 24 hour period. And just to clarify, I absolutely wasn't judging. Until I realized that I was wrong, I was just taken aback by the logistics.
Can we not consider that perhaps these 5 children would ALSO like a father figure in their lives, as the mother does? Sure the kids might be sad as well - that's of course normal. But as the mother feels happier with an attempt to return to normalcy, might the kids as well? I have not had this experience so I am just speculating here.
I don't think it's a good idea to speculate on what is best for grieving children.
Or anyone grieving, period.
Hopefully a therapist is helping them all through this time.
Really? You can say a lot is shit without actually saying it, Laz, and you really should feel like more of an asshole about that.
Just another example of her complete and utter inability to show empathy for another person. Â
She won't come back until someone makes an equally shitty comment so some of the heat is taken off of her and she can have an "ally," because as I recall, every time she posts something gross, she makes sure to point out that she isn't the only one who feels that way.
Until then, she will just boat on by this thread and go on with her sanctimonious self.
Yes, but I can't remember why. I feel like she made a racist comment or something along those lines. Might not have been race related.
The last thing I remember about her was when she came to tell all of us fat moms how if we had used waist trainers like her after giving birth, we'd all have banging bodies just like her. That went as well as expected. I don't think she came back after that, if she did I missed it.
Yes, but I can't remember why. I feel like she made a racist comment or something along those lines. Might not have been race related.
The last thing I remember about her was when she came to tell all of us fat moms how if we had used waist trainers like her after giving birth, we'd all have banging bodies just like her. That went as well as expected. I don't think she came back after that, if she did I missed it.
Yes, I was going to say she was (not unfairly) accused of being a BOTAH and sort of disappeared after that.
Yes, but I can't remember why. I feel like she made a racist comment or something along those lines. Might not have been race related.
The last thing I remember about her was when she came to tell all of us fat moms how if we had used waist trainers like her after giving birth, we'd all have banging bodies just like her. That went as well as expected. I don't think she came back after that, if she did I missed it.
Yes, I was going to say she was (not unfairly) accused of being a BOTAH and sort of disappeared after that.
Was that before or after the not letting her daughter hang out with boys thread because her husband is religiously conservative and that is traditional or something? I remember her generalizing/stereotyping a group of people, but not the details. I thought that was her last appearance but I could be wrong.
Oh yes, you're right. That's what happened. That thread was after the waist training thread.
Yes, I was going to say she was (not unfairly) accused of being a BOTAH and sort of disappeared after that.
Was that before or after the not letting her daughter hang out with boys thread because her husband is religiously conservative and that is traditional or something? I remember her generalizing/stereotyping a group of people, but not the details. I thought that was her last appearance but I could be wrong.
I didn't think that was her, but yes you're right, it was her. Her dd wanted to hang out with two boys and she was freaking out but we didn't get it because of her H's culture.
Yes, I was going to say she was (not unfairly) accused of being a BOTAH and sort of disappeared after that.
Was that before or after the not letting her daughter hang out with boys thread because her husband is religiously conservative and that is traditional or something? I remember her generalizing/stereotyping a group of people, but not the details. I thought that was her last appearance but I could be wrong.
Yes! I knew it had something to do with race/culture. She was blaming it on the fact that her husband is middle eastern or something. It was odd.
For the record I was not placing any judgment on her at all. Just when I saw she was married the day after the funeral it just peeked my interest so I asked for clarification.
I am sorry if anyone thought I was judging. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I am sorry.
For the record I was not placing any judgment on her at all. Just when I saw she was married the day after the funeral it just peeked my interest so I asked for clarification.
I am sorry if anyone thought I was judging. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I am sorry.
Jesus Christ. STOP. JUST FUCKING STOP.
This is what you wrote. "The poster wrote she got married the day after her DH died and wanted clarification. Shrug. "
You never asked for clarification. You said the poster did. And she never did! She even posted she didn't ask for any. What happened is you were writing a shitty ass judge comment. You got called out for it. You tried to back peddle.
Just stop making god damn excuses. Why is it so damn hard to just say. "I said an asshole thing. I'm sorry."
I think Nikki is saying that SHE, as in Nikki, wanted clarification b/c the way the other poster wrote it, made Nikki think that she was saying the blogger got married the day after the funeral. I really think all of this was just a misinterpretation of everyone's words.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Sept 28, 2016 12:11:19 GMT -5
Oh, okay, hi. I wondered why this was a popular thread.
Judging a widow is gross as shit. Judging a widow when you know we have SEVERAL widows among us - some very recently widowed - just means you can go fuck yourself. Beloved members of this community have expressed to us their fear of judgment for dating after their husbands' passing. Why? BECAUSE OF COMMENTS LIKE THE ONES MADE IN THIS SAME FUCKING THREAD. Don't add to the pain of grief. Subtract from that shit by being, I don't know, not a judgmental asshole.
This is what you wrote. "The poster wrote she got married the day after her DH died and wanted clarification. Shrug. "
You never asked for clarification. You said the poster did. And she never did! She even posted she didn't ask for any. What happened is you were writing a shitty ass judge comment. You got called out for it. You tried to back peddle.
Just stop making god damn excuses. Why is it so damn hard to just say. "I said an asshole thing. I'm sorry."
I think Nikki is saying that SHE, as in Nikki, wanted clarification b/c the way the other poster wrote it, made Nikki think that she was saying the blogger got married the day after the funeral. I really think all of this was just a misinterpretation of everyone's words.
Yes. I think there is a big misunderstanding. Another poster wrote " she got married the day after her dh's funeral." I responded asking if I read that correctly or was a typo for clarification. That's all.
Was that before or after the not letting her daughter hang out with boys thread because her husband is religiously conservative and that is traditional or something? I remember her generalizing/stereotyping a group of people, but not the details. I thought that was her last appearance but I could be wrong.
Yes! I knew it had something to do with race/culture. She was blaming it on the fact that her husband is middle eastern or something. It was odd.
She's always been a bit odd. In, like, every post, lol
I think Nikki is saying that SHE, as in Nikki, wanted clarification b/c the way the other poster wrote it, made Nikki think that she was saying the blogger got married the day after the funeral. I really think all of this was just a misinterpretation of everyone's words.
Yes. I think there is a big misunderstanding. Another poster wrote " she got married the day after her dh's funeral." I responded asking if I read that correctly or was a typo for clarification. That's all.
Your confusion is basically the least important thing happening in this thread, but here is what I had written:
I didn't initially realize the gap in time from when the OP was posted to when she posted her blog about being remarried. So for 1.5 pages, my only question was how did she find time to get married the day after her H passed. No judgement, more logistics.
Yes. I think there is a big misunderstanding. Another poster wrote " she got married the day after her dh's funeral." I responded asking if I read that correctly or was a typo for clarification. That's all.
Your confusion is basically the least important thing happening in this thread, but here is what I had written:
I didn't initially realize the gap in time from when the OP was posted to when she posted her blog about being remarried. So for 1.5 pages, my only question was how did she find time to get married the day after her H passed. No judgement, more logistics.
You are right it is the least important thing. But I was getting called out as an asshole when there was a misunderstandings. I read your post wrong and was asking you if I read that right. That is all. There are more important things going on. I am sorry.
I saw the funeral pictures and was blown away by how pretty she is, but I don't think there's anything wrong with looking pretty at a funeral. I feel like I'd probably try to look pretty at my husband'a funeral, but there's also a big difference in if he died in a freak accident/suddenly versus you knew this was coming and had time to start grieving before the day he actually died.
There was a little girl locally who passed away recently after a battle with cancer. I heard about people judging her parents for being able to praise Jesus during the funeral and that they didn't look sad enough. Screw you - 1) we can all put on a good show now and then and not look how we feel inside, 2) just let them be how they are and don't judge or try to deny that they loved their daughter (or in this case husband).
I gave pause that she was remarried, but it's because I've never been in that situation and can't imagine losing my husband or wanting to be married again quickly. I don't know if I'd feel differently in the situation, it it's not my decision to make right now and it's not my life. I'm sure she's doing what's best for her and her family, and if she's happy then just let her be happy.
There was an app on Shark Tank last week that recognizes if you say something rude or bullying and asks you if you really want to send it. Too bad that isn't available here based on what's happened lately.
There was an app on Shark Tank last week that recognizes if you say something rude or bullying and asks you if you really want to send it. Too bad that isn't available here based on what's happened lately.
More like too bad that it has come down to people needing, or it even being suggested, an APP to figure out their jerks.