@natariru, I have often wanted to start a post for POC only. Usually it's when I want to say how the hell do y'all deal with this shit? Some of my closest friends to this day are women I met on a wedding planning board for AA brides over 12 yrs ago. Anyway, I know you guys don't know me, but I would def be interested. And welcome back to work! I only have one DD who is almost 9, but my transition back to work was so hard for so long. To this day I wish I'd reached out more and earlier for support. Good luck!
If I'm honest about where I struggle with all this, especially with experiences like wesley's and redwino and imnotstaying (sorry on my phone and can't quote) is that my personal fear and discomfort and dislike for white women, especially middle to upper middle class white women, seems to be growing by the day. I think sometimes I lurk here for confirmation that not all white women are self absorbed racist assholes. But, as this election season has gone on, I'm beginning to worry those here are the exception rather than the rule. People will probably read this and think I sound insane, but lately I truly have a heightened sense that the only safe places for me and my DD are communities and spaces where minorities are the majority.
I don't think you sound insane. I only continue to come here because otherwise I wouldn't interact with any non-black people at all outside of work. And to be fair, I've "met" a lot of wonderful women who I would be happy to call a friend. The problem for me is that I've yet to find the effort worth the reward IRL. It's too much work, and there's no convenient "x" in the upper right hand corner when people show their asses. There are very few safe spaces for POC.
Yep. Part of why I... just don't make friends very well outside message boards. I'm a SAHM and student, and in the past my social circle consisted of a lot of military wives who are part of a certain culture and way of thinking. Many are very conservative and espouse some pretty bigoted and racist attitudes, hence my lack of desire to get all friendly.
This past May my son wanted to set up a play date with a classmate before the end of the school year. When I went to pick him up I saw his friend get into his mother's car, who had a Trump bumper sticker. Yeah, no play date is happening now. Not even sorry. I just don't chance it. I remember being in situations around wives of my exH's co-workers (military) who would open their mouth and insert the entire shoe store with racist comments, which they thought was okay because they were in "like" (white) company. People say some racist and bigoted shit when they think they can get away with it because they're around people who are like them. But I'm not like you. I may pass for white, but half my family is Black, and your racist bullshit doesn't fly with me. I feel like it's too much work to make friends IRL only to have to break up with them because they'll damage my calm with their unchecked racism.
So I stick to my online communities where I can properly vet folks I associate with.
I have a lot of feelings about this around these parts, especially on MMM. I've found it harder to ask questions or discussing parenting as my oldest gets older (he's 3.5 now) without feeling like I'm going to be judged or like I have to walk on eggshells. Surely can't start a post with "MothersOC only please" so lots of my questions/venting happen off board (thank you @246baje & @stilljustash )
Being called mean or scary by the delicate, pink nutsacks who don't even tag to properly call you out on that board gets old FAST. I dealt with that shit enough in high school and was able to purge people like that out of my life by early adulthood. I'm fucking over it. Especially when it's said enough times that I started to pause and question myself, like damn maybe I am mean? If I really sit and think about how things go down around here I wonder why I stick around.
Right here with you. There are many times I have to go to black moms (@kirkette @246baje thejackpot and others) and say ok am I crazy here? Is it really ok for Daniel Tiger to tell you to stomp 3 times and I am supposed to let my child stomp at me even though I wanted to knock her on the floor when she did? Is xyz age just age appropriate behavior? Because I feel like MMM is an alternate universe sometimes. And I get called mean, angry, passionate (in a negative way) too often at work. I don't need it outside of it.
Post by laurenpetro on Aug 23, 2016 11:55:48 GMT -5
I just want to put down a "laurenpetro was here". I haven't forgotten the post where someone (maybe @kirkette?) mentioned acknowledging reading these posts as being important in and of itself.
I will never understand how people can ignore how someone else's experiences and history can be completely different from their own.
@natariru , I have often wanted to start a post for POC only. Usually it's when I want to say how the hell do y'all deal with this shit? Some of my closest friends to this day are women I met on a wedding planning board for AA brides over 12 yrs ago. Anyway, I know you guys don't know me, but I would def be interested. And welcome back to work! I only have one DD who is almost 9, but my transition back to work was so hard for so long. To this day I wish I'd reached out more and earlier for support. Good luck!
All of my favorite people are women I've met on messages boards over the years. There were many times I felt out of place, or that something was missing, when I'd make friends even online. This was back when I didn't have Myspace and there was no Facebook, so it wasn't like I had the option to get in touch with old classmates. The majority of women I come into contact with, both online and IRL, are white, and this is especially true for military spouse circles. About six years ago I joined a milspouse forum with a fairly diverse makeup. There were your typical right-wing conservatives, moderates and some progressive folks. Just before I joined there was a mass exodus of veteran members who created their own forum, and this is where I found a safe space with several Black women and other WOC. It was a serious "Holy shit! My people!" moment for me because up until then, apart from relatives, I didn't have the opportunity to really associate with other Black women. They weren't on base, or off base in the areas we lived, and even my area of Atlanta when we lived there, was mostly white.
So small groups within message boards became my safe space. The one group where I made friends with other Black women went defunct once everyone migrated to Facebook.
I had the same reaction when I joined GBCN. I was beyond ecstatic to see several WOC posting here, and learning the history of the boards, the many issues involving overt and covert racism, is all too familiar.
And then there is the matter of my daughter who is treated like she is white by virtually everyone, even people who know her brother. She's just white to them and honestly, I've heard stories from people who were presumed to be white and I am fucking terrified of what that means for her as she grows up. Lord knows it took me years to understand privilege and discrimination. I didn't experience it myself as a biracial, light skinned girl in predominately white areas. I didn't know how deep or pervasive or problematic various things were until late in life. And I don't want that for Pinky.
Ugh. I worry about this stuff. I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
I am very grateful for the other WOC who help me to articulate/examine a lot of my feelings. I remember when a coworker called me angry and implied she was scared of me. The horror I felt that people felt compelled to tell me that they never saw me as angry. I just was floored to see how she was spinning the narrative and people wanted to give me hair pats instead of placing blame on her for perpetuating a stereotype. It just felt so unfair. Historically we have had to hide or emotions or grin and bear it. The older I get the more I experience my race in a different way. I am not making me small so that you can be big. I owe it to my children to do the hard work and if I have to unfriendl so be it.
Hoooo Boy! Did I ever tell publicly how I fell out with my old TIP crew? Yup, those people on that board right over there.
After more than five years of friendship, these silly little white girls are gonna come tell me that they've always thought I was angry, they were just really afraid to tell me.
And then they couldn't understand why I went the fuck off. They just saw it as proof of what they always assumed about me, that I was just angry and ragey full time.
And I'm angry just thinking about it. More than five years of friendship gone in a blaze because they finally confessed I'm just a stereotype to them.
Pisses me right off. Here you are thinking there is a bond of friendship and shared understanding and they are afraid of you? You're too angry?? Screw all of them!! Just makes my blood boil.
I have jumbled thoughts. Mostly frustration with my people. But I wanted to check in because I feel like I've been doing a lot of silent reading along in posts of actual substance and not contributing .
The pieve posted about how gen xers and adjacent all got taught that we should be colorblind really speaks to me though. I struggle with finding the language to talk a about race. It just feels taboo or something. And I know my mama did her damnedst to raise me right on this issues, but she's not perfect and then god knows the place I grew up was white AF and full of bullshit.
I am hopeful I can do better by my kids, thanks in large part to the education I've gotten here. Trying to just keep on learning and not let shit slide when I see it from loved ones.
I'm just going to quote wawa on this because she summed up exactly what I was thinking. I've been here silently reading these threads to learn how to do better and how to raise my daughter so that she can do better too.
Ugh. I worry about this stuff. I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
I worry about what my girls will hear, and honestly already hear, from being two different shades, even though they both light. The little one is clearly lighter and brighter, so we experience all sorts of foolishness.
This is why if something, god forbid, happens to me and H, my children are going to live with my sister. They need a regular reminder that they're black, too. That won't happen with H's family and I already have suspicions about some of those people.
I have a lot of feelings about this around these parts, especially on MMM. I've found it harder to ask questions or discussing parenting as my oldest gets older (he's 3.5 now) without feeling like I'm going to be judged or like I have to walk on eggshells. Surely can't start a post with "MothersOC only please" so lots of my questions/venting happen off board (thank you @246baje & @stilljustash )
Being called mean or scary by the delicate, pink nutsacks who don't even tag to properly call you out on that board gets old FAST. I dealt with that shit enough in high school and was able to purge people like that out of my life by early adulthood. I'm fucking over it. Especially when it's said enough times that I started to pause and question myself, like damn maybe I am mean? If I really sit and think about how things go down around here I wonder why I stick around.
Right here with you. There are many times I have to go to black moms (@kirkette @246baje thejackpot and others) and say ok am I crazy here? Is it really ok for Daniel Tiger to tell you to stomp 3 times and I am supposed to let my child stomp at me even though I wanted to knock her on the floor when she did? Is xyz age just age appropriate behavior? Because I feel like MMM is an alternate universe sometimes. And I get called mean, angry, passionate (in a negative way) too often at work. I don't need it outside of it.
WAIT. Say what now? Some cartoon is encouraging kids to stomp at their parents? Did I read this correctly?
Right here with you. There are many times I have to go to black moms (@kirkette @246baje thejackpot and others) and say ok am I crazy here? Is it really ok for Daniel Tiger to tell you to stomp 3 times and I am supposed to let my child stomp at me even though I wanted to knock her on the floor when she did? Is xyz age just age appropriate behavior? Because I feel like MMM is an alternate universe sometimes. And I get called mean, angry, passionate (in a negative way) too often at work. I don't need it outside of it.
WAIT. Say what now? Some cartoon is encouraging kids to stomp at their parents? Did I read this correctly?
I have not seen that episode. All I know is, "when you get so mad, that you wanna roar, take a deep breath and count to four."
And then mama tiger is all, "WHY IS THERE SAND ALL OVER MY FLOOR i SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END BOTH OF YOU." i mean...no...she says, "WHY IS THERE SAND ON THE FLOOR. *pause* *deep breath* *counts to 4* You're going to need to clean this up."
Reading this thread now. Thanks for the tag, @kirkette
I hate that POC don't feel comfortable posting certain things on MMM. I absolutely think posters should start threads specifically for mothers of color if they want to, and I am happy to take on anyone who suggests otherwise.
Post by sunshine608 on Aug 23, 2016 13:37:14 GMT -5
I would love to be part of the FB groups as I struggle recently with posting stuff on MMM that relates to raising kids and being a POC. For the first year or so I was part of a group on FB. IT wasn't a "safe place" but it was immensely refreshing. Then it ballooned to to many members and with that came drama and it was deleted. I really miss that space.
I also find it really...something when some posters will say shit like "sorry, I don't come to these boards for serious stuff, I just come to vent about my day/family/job/h/etc., so I don't participate in race-related threads."
like, chickadees, racism isn't just ripped from the news headlines. this is actually in our day-to-day lives. are you kidding me? how nice for you.
I'm so over it. like many others have said, I regularly ask myself what I'm still doing here.
I feel like this is the most valid usage of "must be nice" ever.
This is why if something, god forbid, happens to me and H, my children are going to live with my sister. They need a regular reminder that they're black, too. That won't happen with H's family and I already have suspicions about some of those people.
The girls would live with my mother/my side of the family during the school year, and their white side during summer. Both sides of the family are on the same page about this set up.
Kirk also knows, if something happens to me, he's never to let Veronica pass. Ever. He's currently reading, The People Could Fly each night with Kirklette, and V. Why? Because he knows he's just as responsible for teaching his Black babies that they are Black before anything else.
H's folks are cool, but some of his extended family activate my side eye. And his, frankly. H's extended family lives in WA, which I think explains some of it. Boonies WA at that.
H would do his best by the kids without me. BabyLiu's hair would be a mess for a few months though. You shoulda seen my poor baby's hair when I was gone for a week.
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
My favorite is the handwringing over whether to tell your children that they're smart and beautiful. Or whether you should say "good job" vs. "strong work". It's fascinating that this is a legitimate concern for some, but it makes sense when people will automatically assume that your child is both until proven otherwise.
I'm 100% certain that I will never have that problem. My daughter is smart and beautiful, and I tell her every day.
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
Oh, I think it's very much this. I've had a woman tell me "oh, my son didn't get into (college I went to) because they decided they had enough white men enrolled already." But I was thinking this in the s/o thread about racism among white women. Most are straight and marry white men and so they benefit from not only white privilege, but also white male privilege and have a vested interest in keeping the status quo. Having white children just exaggerates that.
WAIT. Say what now? Some cartoon is encouraging kids to stomp at their parents? Did I read this correctly?
The craziest part is that on MMM the response was all "well she has to express her frustration somehow"
NAWL. What you not gone do is stomp at me. You can say you're angry and when you get finished, you can take your lil ass to your room until your mood changes. Stomp at me tho? No.
Meanwhile they'll judge everyone, including their mother literally, say and think the most horrible shit about others who aren't "classy" aka uptight, real white, and likely running from the truth about their humble beginnings.
I swear, during Unpopular Opinons, one day I'm going to snap and say: 1. I like ethnic things 2. I don't enjoy being miserable 3. I'm okay with listening to diverse perspectives 4. I go out of my way to be kind to babysitters, daycare workers, and service workers, and treat them as equal human beings.
I've never even read that board, but it sounds ridiculous. I hate talking to people about kids and parenting in general. Don't care, and I don't need any advice.
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
All of this. ALL OF THIS. It's beyond crazy how far these moms take things. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time an insecure UMC white mother tried to bully or take things out on my 3 year old, well, let's just say Donald Trump might think I'd crossed the poverty line into the working class.
The girls would live with my mother/my side of the family during the school year, and their white side during summer. Both sides of the family are on the same page about this set up.
Kirk also knows, if something happens to me, he's never to let Veronica pass. Ever. He's currently reading, The People Could Fly each night with Kirklette, and V. Why? Because he knows he's just as responsible for teaching his Black babies that they are Black before anything else.
H's folks are cool, but some of his extended family activate my side eye. And his, frankly. H's extended family lives in WA, which I think explains some of it. Boonies WA at that.
H would do his best by the kids without me. BabyLiu's hair would be a mess for a few months though. You shoulda seen my poor baby's hair when I was gone for a week.
I had a discussion with my now-husband about the kids being raised around my side of the family should anything happen to me, and I want my mom to take my youngest should something happen to both of us. My in-laws are pretty liberal, but they're part of that colorblind era, and they're not without their own unchecked racism. They're the smug white liberals who think they're all set 'cause they're college-educated, upper-middle class folks, but they can be just as backward in their thinking. No thanks.
And my exH's family, racist as fuck, and from hickville USA. He knows it. They're not exactly subtle about it. When my older two and I visited his parents years back his stepmom was all "Your kind of hair is interesting. I know some Black women who have unique hair." trying to make nice conversation. (In my head I was like "There are like no Black people in this area. None. What nonsense are you talking about? How many Black people could you possibly know!?) I just sat there looking at her like "WTF!?"
She's also the one who gave former SIL shit for marrying a Filipino man and later dating a Puerto Rican/Italian man. She'd say racist shit like "Why can't you date a local boy?" Translation: white country boy. And the rest of his family is so much worse. My exH's best friend growing up, his only friend, is Black, but he wasn't allowed to bring him over. And one relative made a comment that it was a good thing my father is white and that I look more like them. Needless to say, we very rarely visited.
I'm sad my kids aren't around their Black relatives. It was great when we lived close to my mom and sister before moving from Atlanta, but that was over three years ago. A lot of my extended relatives, cousins with biracial children, are in So Cal. All of my first cousins on my mom's side are Black and white. We have many shared experiences with figuring out our place in two cultures and our own identity. And now almost all of us have children of our own. They're going to spend a few weeks with my family in So Cal next summer. They need that exposure to their Black culture and relatives. I have ongoing talks with my older two about their heritage and racism. They know they pass for white, but they know they're mixed. (Not surprisingly, Black folks know. One of DD2's classmates asked if she's mixed, and one of DD1's BFFs is Black and she knew DD1 is mixed.)
Meanwhile they'll judge everyone, including their mother literally, say and think the most horrible shit about others who aren't "classy" aka uptight, real white, and likely running from the truth about their humble beginnings.
I swear, during Unpopular Opinons, one day I'm going to snap and say: 1. I like ethnic things 2. I don't enjoy being miserable 3. I'm okay with listening to diverse perspectives 4. I go out of my way to be kind to babysitters, daycare workers, and service workers, and treat them as equal human beings.
Ha, I just totally flashed back to that one woman on MMM who (rightly) got flamed off the boards for talking about her purposely cheap gift of crappy hot chocolate packets she wanted to give to specific teachers (assistant teachers?) instead of a comparable gift she was giving her favorites. That woman was a piece of work omg.
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
All of this. ALL OF THIS. It's beyond crazy how far these moms take things. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time an insecure UMC white mother tried to bully or take things out on my 3 year old, well, let's just say Donald Trump might think I'd crossed the poverty line into the working class.
Its disturbing how far so many will take it. I know you've got it handled, and will shut those bags down but it still makes me mad that you and your babies encounter it.
It's sad but I've started noticing it a lot more as my kids age when it comes to sports and academics. I also think it's so stark to me because it's not something I worry about. Maybe it's overconfidence in myself, my husband, our parenting and the access/advantages we can provide due to our financial position or overconfidence in our kids, in general, but I don't worry that my kids won't be able to compete on their own merits. They are both bright and intelligent with parents who prioritize their education and raising them to be good human beings above pretty much everything else. I don't feel threatened on their behalf by leveling the playing field for minorities, let alone feel the need to have others at a disadvantage for them to succeed, but the more I look around me, it's the only thing that makes sense to me as the reason why I see my peers acting the way they do, even if they don't verbalize it.
I also think the Trump bullshit has made me notice it more as I look around me. Because voting R has never been something I judged out of hand or thought was some sort of moral failing and I could assume people were supportive of fiscally conservative policies or hell, really cared about abortion. Trump has been basically peddling white nationalism and when I see my own peers supporting him I'm like "but why? What about this appeals to you as someone who has a very good life? What are you angry and scared about? How does immigration or BLM affect you or threaten you?" It really seems to boil down to fear that they or their children won't be able to compete if the field is level because they are simply mediocre if white isn't a built in advantage. And that is disgusting.
I've never even read that board, but it sounds ridiculous. I hate talking to people about kids and parenting in general. Don't care, and I don't need any advice.
But I do! I have no fucking clue what I'm doing and white people advice AIN'T CUTTING IT. ETA: I mean that in a tell me your secrets kind of way. Bc I'm drowning.
I have no secrets! My secret is ignoring all of that advice that you obviously don't feel applies to you. Some things just ain't for you, and that's cool. Plus, everyone is drowning in some way. Sitting around talking about it doesn't do me any good.
How's that for unhelpful advice? Lol. Told you I'm bad at this. For real though, I don't run a particularly tight ship, and I'm sure some of my elder black folks would side-eye my approach. Guess how much I care. If I didn't ask you, your opinion doesn't matter. I don't think many of those parenting techniques are particularly sound either.
I think mommy/parenting boards are particularly susceptible to the UMC head up her ass white lady demographic for a variety of reasons. The whole cult of mommy hood does not help either. It's like the intersection of the top five things that can really insulate a person's world view, heightened by the way parenting is viewed and the ease of obsessing over every little thing and thinking the world revolves around you and your precious.
The above is not intended as an excuse. Just my pondering of mommy boards in general and my own experience on them when my kids were little, even though I fit that main demographic.
It also fits into my thoughts about UMC white parents and the way I think they are over the top competitive about their kids and always trying to get a leg up. I think on some level (possibly subconscious) they worry about their kids being mediocre and not having the automatic white privilege anymore as the world changes. That's probably harsh but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently when I see support for anti immigration policies or resistance to BLM or the like. Like what exactly are these well off well educated people worried about exactly? What is the threat?
Oh, I think it's very much this. I've had a woman tell me "oh, my son didn't get into (college I went to) because they decided they had enough white men enrolled already." But I was thinking this in the s/o thread about racism among white women. Most are straight and marry white men and so they benefit from not only white privilege, but also white male privilege and have a vested interest in keeping the status quo. Having white children just exaggerates that.
I think this is very true and I think it's this same fear of"other" that causes people to say Christians are being discriminated. Just bc everything isn't mirroring you doesn't mean that you are being discriminated against.
I definitely think you see the white privileged bubble emerge/rear its ugly head when you talk about college.
I remember in some thread on affirmative action or college on MMM, @kirkette said something along the lines of "I don't feel sorry for mediocre white men." And I agree with that.
Mediocre white men/women don't get into a college.....its not because a black person "took your spot." It's because you just weren't qualified enough.
That idea will never do though, so there has to be another reason. A minority taking your spot is a much better one, gives you something to blame.
When really, the only person to blame is yourself. It's kind of like Jon Stewart and the whole "it was never your country to begin with." It was never "your spot." It was A spot.
The college admissions concern kills me. You know what, there were presumably even more spots for mediocre white men in the years before the nation's elite private colleges became co-ed. Yet mysteriously, there seem to be lots of white women who are worried that affirmative action will cause their white sons to lose their spots, but none who are advocating returning to a time when white women were excluded from elite educational institutions. Hmm, I wonder why that is...
I want to thank all of the women of color on this board who have bent over backwards to explain this over and over again to us white women on the board. It must be absolutely exhausting, but I hope that you know you've made a difference in the way that I see things and the way I talk to my kids about race. It's also opened my eyes to the many, subtle ways that white liberals perpetuate racism and micro aggressions.