This is no longer about post about cute kids

[satsuma]

Aug 31, 2016 10:32:00 GMT -5 awkwardpenguin said:

Part of my point, which was not well conveyed, is that it is very easy to overlook how many people read that comment and didn't immediately realize there was something off about it. Or automatically assigned a "she must not have meant it that way" meaning to it and moved on, because that is easier. I know I did the latter, and I'm sure I'm not alone. The fact that I initially brushed off an offensive comment is deeply troubling to me, and I want to be able to explore that, examine myself, and do better. But it's also really hard to do, and I'm not sure how to do it in a way that doesn't cause people hurt. I want to be able to talk about that, but maybe it is work I need to be doing on my own.

I never said people should get a free pass on racism. I don't believe that, and on further reflection I would not want to be told how to feel or react to something hurtful. It is very important to me that racism within our community is addressed and I've stayed engaged in race discussions even when it's been difficult.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Like, you would like WOC to discuss it with you on this board? Much has been written on racism specifically for the white audience. I'd suggest reading up rather than asking people to guide you through this. I could provide links at some point if that'd be helpful.

The other thing, regarding "she must not have meant it that way," multiple posters did this. IMO, this was worse than the original offending post. I think it's very telling that they were so quick to put themselves into the shoes of another white woman rather than stop for a second and think of how this must have felt to mothers with brown kids who society might tell them that are attractive despite their color but rarely specifically because of it. Yes, people are sometimes going to slip up and say something dumb. They need to be called out and then given a chance to respond. They don't need a protective bubble wrap made of other white women to come out to give intent to a comment that they didn't even write. 

[awkwardpenguin]

Aug 31, 2016 11:35:05 GMT -5 satsuma said:

Aug 31, 2016 10:32:00 GMT -5 awkwardpenguin said:

Part of my point, which was not well conveyed, is that it is very easy to overlook how many people read that comment and didn't immediately realize there was something off about it. Or automatically assigned a "she must not have meant it that way" meaning to it and moved on, because that is easier. I know I did the latter, and I'm sure I'm not alone. The fact that I initially brushed off an offensive comment is deeply troubling to me, and I want to be able to explore that, examine myself, and do better. But it's also really hard to do, and I'm not sure how to do it in a way that doesn't cause people hurt. I want to be able to talk about that, but maybe it is work I need to be doing on my own.

I never said people should get a free pass on racism. I don't believe that, and on further reflection I would not want to be told how to feel or react to something hurtful. It is very important to me that racism within our community is addressed and I've stayed engaged in race discussions even when it's been difficult.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Like, you would like WOC to discuss it with you on this board? Much has been written on racism specifically for the white audience. I'd suggest reading up rather than asking people to guide you through this. I could provide links at some point if that'd be helpful.

The other thing, regarding "she must not have meant it that way," multiple posters did this. IMO, this was worse than the original offending post. I think it's very telling that they were so quick to put themselves into the shoes of another white woman rather than stop for a second and think of how this must have felt to mothers with brown kids who society might tell them that are attractive despite their color but rarely specifically because of it. Yes, people are sometimes going to slip up and say something dumb. They need to be called out and then given a chance to respond. They don't need a protective bubble wrap made of other white women to come out to give intent to a comment that they didn't even write. 

What I mean is that it seems like even acknowledging that your first response was a reflexive response that gave someone the benefit of the doubt when they didn't deserve it can cause hurt.  It is a hurtful way to respond, but I don't know how we can acknowledge and move beyond our implicit bias if it can't be talked about.

[NandaB]

I didn't come I here yesterday because mobile doesn't tell you how many pages something is until you open it, and reading about how everyone thinks their kids are soooo cute sounds lame as hell, but it pisses me off that people are still so fucking shocked and amazed that saying racist shit is offensive. And honestly the "waah help me leeeaarnnnnn" shit is just as bad. If you really want to learn something fucking Google.

It makes me mad that members of your actual community Keep being run off by foolishness.

[kristenbell]

Wow. I'm really disappointed. I'm sad that we are losing such great posters and that we keep having to have these very same conversations over and over.

I think a good assumption to make as a white person is that you have unconscious bias. Period. From there, you should then decide to check yourself before opening your mouth. Like, all the time. From there, if you do make a racist comment, you should expect that people who have been dealing with racism their whole fucking lives will not want to hand-hold you through the process of understanding why what you said is bad. And then you can go, "oh, hey, I am awash in privilege and the worst thing that happened to me today is that a POC called me out on a racist comment. No need to be offended, I should know better." I understand it's tough to feel "piled on," but get some perspective, FFS.

[callalily]

Here's the thing. We need to stop expecting POC to educate us on racism. We need to take the giant leap out of our white boxes of privilege and educate ourselves. Of course people get angry. Wouldn't you get angry having to constantly defend yourself or explain yourself? There have been some amazing resources posted on this board and CEP that really delve into the history of the US and the background of racism. It's worth every second to read and listen and absorb. I cannot recommend the Yale course enough. Do it. Take the time and listen. It's time to educate ourselves.

[emoflamingo]

You have the internet at your fingers. We can do better, folks.

I'm so sorry @natariru and @wandering are leaving. I didn't even come back until I saw the catch up thread on CE&P. I'm not a WOC, I will never know the struggles, but goddamn, have some empathy. Use the internet for the substance it has to offer you.

[curbsideprophet]

Just catching up now and I am not sure what to say.

Sorry to see @natariru and @wandering go but I can understand why.

[Deleted]

It's such fucking bullshit some of you dumb fucks can't use cognitive ability to think before you fucking type are creating yet another space where smart, funny, amazing women don't feel they can be apart of the community because of your fucking backwoods idiotic stupid ideals based on nothing but fucking idiocy.

Wtf it's not anyone's job to educate these dumb fucks. They have plenty of avenues to view reality themselves. A harsh dose of truth is what's needed. If you don't have the brain cells to check yourself after that, fuck you and the blue eyed pony your ass rolled in on.

[Deleted]

If you are sitting on your hands when you see or hear a comment that makes you uncomfortable you're so part of the problem. There's so much entitlement wrapped up in that.

[mishy]

Aug 31, 2016 10:32:00 GMT -5 awkwardpenguin said:

Part of my point, which was not well conveyed, is that it is very easy to overlook how many people read that comment and didn't immediately realize there was something off about it. Or automatically assigned a "she must not have meant it that way" meaning to it and moved on, because that is easier. I know I did the latter, and I'm sure I'm not alone. The fact that I initially brushed off an offensive comment is deeply troubling to me, and I want to be able to explore that, examine myself, and do better. But it's also really hard to do, and I'm not sure how to do it in a way that doesn't cause people hurt. I want to be able to talk about that, but maybe it is work I need to be doing on my own.

I never said people should get a free pass on racism. I don't believe that, and on further reflection I would not want to be told how to feel or react to something hurtful. It is very important to me that racism within our community is addressed and I've stayed engaged in race discussions even when it's been difficult.

ETA: Personal request - please do not "like" this post. "Likes" build my ego (embarrassingly-so), and I'm working on separating out what feels good to write bc it's the right thing to do versus what people "like." I am striving to put my effort forward for the cause not for my image, and the likes confound it for me. When I get "likes," I find myself patting myself on the back and it feels gross when it comes to this especially when WOC on this board get such backlash for saying the same damn thing.

There isn't a way to do it that doesn't cause hurt. The rest of my response stems from this but is not directed at just you.

Coming to terms with that is what's helped me speak up. I had to confront that I was being complicit and had to give up trying to be universally-liked; even if the latter were possible, it's in no way worth the cost. Not only was I being complicit to it around me, I was unknowingly engaging in some inexcusable behavior (e.g., tone policing). It took more than one person pointing that out (and at the time it didn't feel nice and gentle, but in retrospect it wasn't harsh either even though it felt like I was attacked at the time; I wasn't) and some hard, uncomfortable self-reflection. I don't like bringing this up because I want that to be behind me, I don't want people to see that I'm capable of being racist like that - it physically hurts in my chest and causes the start of tears to type that because it's so hard to admit but that is my white fragility because it's about who I am and what I look like to others, not what POC are experiencing. There are other times I feel my chest hurt and tears well up - like when I read about what cubed and her son experienced (I'm so sorry, cubed , my heart aches for you and your son as well as the knowledge that this ugliness is not any sort of exception or isolated incident). That is my humanity. But when the tears come up at the thought of me being racist - that is not my humanity, that is my white fragility. I'm learning the difference more and more. I should hurt when I'm engaging in things that allow or perpetuate this ugliness. I never want that to stop.

For everyone who is white and coming in and saying how awful and horrible this is, please stop to reflect on your role in it. For example, maybe a month ago, there was a thread titled with a question for white people with a link to common racist behaviors and attitudes. It got 13 replies: @starry , minniemouse , @vicmo , patbutcher , Marmee , matildasun , niq , @villainv , rugbywife , gravytrain225 , @savestheday , t , and katrinabennett . If your name is on this list, thank you for putting yourself out there; it's a step in the right direction for all of us. If your name isn't on this list, it doesn't mean you are racist or you have to explain why you didn't post there (and if you do explain, I'm going to punch you in your internet face). But given the number of posters on this board, that is shameful. And if you NEVER engage in race-related topics or discussions on here, then do better or fuck off. We all risk doing it wrong, but we have to suck at it before we get better. Silence is not ok. This doesn't mean you have to participate in every thread ever. Stop explaining your absence. Just do something about it if you aren't already.

It also shouldn't be some awareness we turn on and off, based on another senseless murder of a black person in the news or based on call-outs here. Notice at least once a day how your whiteness affects your life experiences and perceptions, here or elsewhere. Actively seek out exposure to cultures different from your own. CEP has tons of resources. There are a lot of things related to black history that I need to read about, and I'm guessing that's true for many of you. Buy books for your children and for gifts for others that feature POC. Buy the AG Melody doll (@kirkette (heart) ). Talk to our children about skin color and our privilege. There are zillions of ways to increase our awareness. If you come into this thread and express how appalled you are and then do none of these other things, then fuck you. And I mean that as kindly as possible (which is not at all btw). Don't focus on a "fix" or how insignificant your effort might feel, focus on making consistent effort and awareness a part of your life. If all of us on MMM and on GBCN can do that, think of what we will achieve. In a single instance, this community of women raised $55k for a struggling community member; we are quite powerful as a group. Let's start acting like it.

[jennistarr1]

I'm sorry

[darnkatz]

I avoided this thread because I thought it was a random cute kid thread and I can't see how many pages there are on my phone. Holy fuck, people. We need to do better. This is downright shameful. We've lost some incredible voices on this board because of idiocy. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

[mrssandro]

Aug 31, 2016 13:52:43 GMT -5 jennistarr1 said:

Not a model but I do think she is way cuter than other kids and DEFINITELY cuter than what I thought my husband and I could produce.

[countthestars]

Aug 31, 2016 13:52:43 GMT -5 jennistarr1 said:

Not a model but I do think she is way cuter than other kids and DEFINITELY cuter than what I thought my husband and I could produce.

omg

[bex]

oh FFS.


I just made a PSA.

[suzubell]

Aug 31, 2016 14:04:06 GMT -5 connie0000 said:

Aug 31, 2016 13:47:01 GMT -5 mishy said:

ETA: Personal request - please do not "like" this post. "Likes" build my ego (embarrassingly-so), and I'm working on separating out what feels good to write bc it's the right thing to do versus what people "like." I am striving to put my effort forward for the cause not for my image, and the likes confound it for me. When I get "likes," I find myself patting myself on the back and it feels gross when it comes to this especially when WOC on this board get such backlash for saying the same damn thing.

There isn't a way to do it that doesn't cause hurt. The rest of my response stems from this but is not directed at just you.

Coming to terms with that is what's helped me speak up. I had to confront that I was being complicit and had to give up trying to be universally-liked; even if the latter were possible, it's in no way worth the cost. Not only was I being complicit to it around me, I was unknowingly engaging in some inexcusable behavior (e.g., tone policing). It took more than one person pointing that out (and at the time it didn't feel nice and gentle, but in retrospect it wasn't harsh either even though it felt like I was attacked at the time; I wasn't) and some hard, uncomfortable self-reflection. I don't like bringing this up because I want that to be behind me, I don't want people to see that I'm capable of being racist like that - it physically hurts in my chest and causes the start of tears to type that because it's so hard to admit but that is my white fragility because it's about who I am and what I look like to others, not what POC are experiencing. There are other times I feel my chest hurt and tears well up - like when I read about what cubed and her son experienced (I'm so sorry, cubed , my heart aches for you and your son as well as the knowledge that this ugliness is not any sort of exception or isolated incident). That is my humanity. But when the tears come up at the thought of me being racist - that is not my humanity, that is my white fragility. I'm learning the difference more and more. I should hurt when I'm engaging in things that allow or perpetuate this ugliness. I never want that to stop.

For everyone who is white and coming in and saying how awful and horrible this is, please stop to reflect on your role in it. For example, maybe a month ago, there was a thread titled with a question for white people with a link to common racist behaviors and attitudes. It got 13 replies: @starry , minniemouse , @vicmo , patbutcher , Marmee , matildasun , niq , @villainv , rugbywife , gravytrain225 , @savestheday , t , and katrinabennett . If your name is on this list, thank you for putting yourself out there; it's a step in the right direction for all of us. If your name isn't on this list, it doesn't mean you are racist or you have to explain why you didn't post there (and if you do explain, I'm going to punch you in your internet face). But given the number of posters on this board, that is shameful. And if you NEVER engage in race-related topics or discussions on here, then do better or fuck off. We all risk doing it wrong, but we have to suck at it before we get better. Silence is not ok. This doesn't mean you have to participate in every thread ever. Stop explaining your absence. Just do something about it if you aren't already.

It also shouldn't be some awareness we turn on and off, based on another senseless murder of a black person in the news or based on call-outs here. Notice at least once a day how your whiteness affects your life experiences and perceptions, here or elsewhere. Actively seek out exposure to cultures different from your own. CEP has tons of resources. There are a lot of things related to black history that I need to read about, and I'm guessing that's true for many of you. Buy books for your children and for gifts for others that feature POC. Buy the AG Melody doll (@kirkette (heart) ). Talk to our children about skin color and our privilege. There are zillions of ways to increase our awareness. If you come into this thread and express how appalled you are and then do none of these other things, then fuck you. And I mean that as kindly as possible (which is not at all btw). Don't focus on a "fix" or how insignificant your effort might feel, focus on making consistent effort and awareness a part of your life. If all of us on MMM and on GBCN can do that, think of what we will achieve. In a single instance, this community of women raised $55k for a struggling community member; we are quite powerful as a group. Let's start acting like it.

Well thank you for making a list to shame the rest of us. It is possible that oh you know, we never saw this post you speak of. I am not on here everyday and how dare you shame myself and others for this.

WTF? This isn't about you. Way to miss the entire damn point. Stop being defensive and start listening and doing better. Full stop.

[rugbywife]

Aug 31, 2016 14:04:06 GMT -5 connie0000 said:

Aug 31, 2016 13:47:01 GMT -5 mishy said:

ETA: Personal request - please do not "like" this post. "Likes" build my ego (embarrassingly-so), and I'm working on separating out what feels good to write bc it's the right thing to do versus what people "like." I am striving to put my effort forward for the cause not for my image, and the likes confound it for me. When I get "likes," I find myself patting myself on the back and it feels gross when it comes to this especially when WOC on this board get such backlash for saying the same damn thing.

There isn't a way to do it that doesn't cause hurt. The rest of my response stems from this but is not directed at just you.

Coming to terms with that is what's helped me speak up. I had to confront that I was being complicit and had to give up trying to be universally-liked; even if the latter were possible, it's in no way worth the cost. Not only was I being complicit to it around me, I was unknowingly engaging in some inexcusable behavior (e.g., tone policing). It took more than one person pointing that out (and at the time it didn't feel nice and gentle, but in retrospect it wasn't harsh either even though it felt like I was attacked at the time; I wasn't) and some hard, uncomfortable self-reflection. I don't like bringing this up because I want that to be behind me, I don't want people to see that I'm capable of being racist like that - it physically hurts in my chest and causes the start of tears to type that because it's so hard to admit but that is my white fragility because it's about who I am and what I look like to others, not what POC are experiencing. There are other times I feel my chest hurt and tears well up - like when I read about what cubed and her son experienced (I'm so sorry, cubed , my heart aches for you and your son as well as the knowledge that this ugliness is not any sort of exception or isolated incident). That is my humanity. But when the tears come up at the thought of me being racist - that is not my humanity, that is my white fragility. I'm learning the difference more and more. I should hurt when I'm engaging in things that allow or perpetuate this ugliness. I never want that to stop.

For everyone who is white and coming in and saying how awful and horrible this is, please stop to reflect on your role in it. For example, maybe a month ago, there was a thread titled with a question for white people with a link to common racist behaviors and attitudes. It got 13 replies: @starry , minniemouse , @vicmo , patbutcher , Marmee , matildasun , niq , @villainv , rugbywife , gravytrain225 , @savestheday , t , and katrinabennett . If your name is on this list, thank you for putting yourself out there; it's a step in the right direction for all of us. If your name isn't on this list, it doesn't mean you are racist or you have to explain why you didn't post there (and if you do explain, I'm going to punch you in your internet face). But given the number of posters on this board, that is shameful. And if you NEVER engage in race-related topics or discussions on here, then do better or fuck off. We all risk doing it wrong, but we have to suck at it before we get better. Silence is not ok. This doesn't mean you have to participate in every thread ever. Stop explaining your absence. Just do something about it if you aren't already.

It also shouldn't be some awareness we turn on and off, based on another senseless murder of a black person in the news or based on call-outs here. Notice at least once a day how your whiteness affects your life experiences and perceptions, here or elsewhere. Actively seek out exposure to cultures different from your own. CEP has tons of resources. There are a lot of things related to black history that I need to read about, and I'm guessing that's true for many of you. Buy books for your children and for gifts for others that feature POC. Buy the AG Melody doll (@kirkette (heart) ). Talk to our children about skin color and our privilege. There are zillions of ways to increase our awareness. If you come into this thread and express how appalled you are and then do none of these other things, then fuck you. And I mean that as kindly as possible (which is not at all btw). Don't focus on a "fix" or how insignificant your effort might feel, focus on making consistent effort and awareness a part of your life. If all of us on MMM and on GBCN can do that, think of what we will achieve. In a single instance, this community of women raised $55k for a struggling community member; we are quite powerful as a group. Let's start acting like it.

Well thank you for making a list to shame the rest of us. It is possible that oh you know, we never saw this post you speak of. I am not on here everyday and how dare you shame myself and others for this.

This is TIC, right? Because of previous posts? Please tell me it is. Please.

[Deleted]

mishy, Thanks for tagging me. I would have never come back in here again. I thought it had maybe devolved into gifs or something. Anyways. WHEN THE FUCK are we going to learn. Seriously. I mean seriously and now we are losing @natariru, an awesome poster?? REALLY?? GAAAAHHHHH!!

1) Don't be racist
2) If you think you might harbor racist beliefs or attitudes admit it and work on it. I mean I know as a person FULL TO THE BRIM with privilege in many ways I do say and think a lot of bullshit dumbass shitty things sometimes. I am trying to better myself. Don't bury your head in the sand and think you can't commit microaggressions just because you don't run around yelling slurs.
3) I am trying to teach my kid about race and racism. He has never brought up skin color before so I don't know when to bring it up to him. Like out of the blue would that seem odd?

[sometimesrunner]

Aug 31, 2016 12:46:54 GMT -5 emoflamingo said:

You have the internet at your fingers. We can do better, folks.

I'm so sorry @natariru and @wandering are leaving. I didn't even come back until I saw the catch up thread on CE&P. I'm not a WOC, I will never know the struggles, but goddamn, have some empathy. Use the internet for the substance it has to offer you.

What?? Nooooooooooo! I love those two! (It feels really weird saying that since I don't post much, but seriously, those two are great)

I'm heading over to CE&P now. 

[noodleskooze]

Just came in here---gross. Just gross.

[starlily]

Jesus take the wheel.

[mishy]

Aug 31, 2016 14:04:06 GMT -5 connie0000 said:

Aug 31, 2016 13:47:01 GMT -5 mishy said:

ETA: Personal request - please do not "like" this post. "Likes" build my ego (embarrassingly-so), and I'm working on separating out what feels good to write bc it's the right thing to do versus what people "like." I am striving to put my effort forward for the cause not for my image, and the likes confound it for me. When I get "likes," I find myself patting myself on the back and it feels gross when it comes to this especially when WOC on this board get such backlash for saying the same damn thing.

There isn't a way to do it that doesn't cause hurt. The rest of my response stems from this but is not directed at just you.

Coming to terms with that is what's helped me speak up. I had to confront that I was being complicit and had to give up trying to be universally-liked; even if the latter were possible, it's in no way worth the cost. Not only was I being complicit to it around me, I was unknowingly engaging in some inexcusable behavior (e.g., tone policing). It took more than one person pointing that out (and at the time it didn't feel nice and gentle, but in retrospect it wasn't harsh either even though it felt like I was attacked at the time; I wasn't) and some hard, uncomfortable self-reflection. I don't like bringing this up because I want that to be behind me, I don't want people to see that I'm capable of being racist like that - it physically hurts in my chest and causes the start of tears to type that because it's so hard to admit but that is my white fragility because it's about who I am and what I look like to others, not what POC are experiencing. There are other times I feel my chest hurt and tears well up - like when I read about what cubed and her son experienced (I'm so sorry, cubed , my heart aches for you and your son as well as the knowledge that this ugliness is not any sort of exception or isolated incident). That is my humanity. But when the tears come up at the thought of me being racist - that is not my humanity, that is my white fragility. I'm learning the difference more and more. I should hurt when I'm engaging in things that allow or perpetuate this ugliness. I never want that to stop.

For everyone who is white and coming in and saying how awful and horrible this is, please stop to reflect on your role in it. For example, maybe a month ago, there was a thread titled with a question for white people with a link to common racist behaviors and attitudes. It got 13 replies: @starry , minniemouse , @vicmo , patbutcher , Marmee , matildasun , niq , @villainv , rugbywife , gravytrain225 , @savestheday , t , and katrinabennett . If your name is on this list, thank you for putting yourself out there; it's a step in the right direction for all of us. If your name isn't on this list, it doesn't mean you are racist or you have to explain why you didn't post there (and if you do explain, I'm going to punch you in your internet face). But given the number of posters on this board, that is shameful. And if you NEVER engage in race-related topics or discussions on here, then do better or fuck off. We all risk doing it wrong, but we have to suck at it before we get better. Silence is not ok. This doesn't mean you have to participate in every thread ever. Stop explaining your absence. Just do something about it if you aren't already.

It also shouldn't be some awareness we turn on and off, based on another senseless murder of a black person in the news or based on call-outs here. Notice at least once a day how your whiteness affects your life experiences and perceptions, here or elsewhere. Actively seek out exposure to cultures different from your own. CEP has tons of resources. There are a lot of things related to black history that I need to read about, and I'm guessing that's true for many of you. Buy books for your children and for gifts for others that feature POC. Buy the AG Melody doll (@kirkette (heart) ). Talk to our children about skin color and our privilege. There are zillions of ways to increase our awareness. If you come into this thread and express how appalled you are and then do none of these other things, then fuck you. And I mean that as kindly as possible (which is not at all btw). Don't focus on a "fix" or how insignificant your effort might feel, focus on making consistent effort and awareness a part of your life. If all of us on MMM and on GBCN can do that, think of what we will achieve. In a single instance, this community of women raised $55k for a struggling community member; we are quite powerful as a group. Let's start acting like it.

Well thank you for making a list to shame the rest of us. It is possible that oh you know, we never saw this post you speak of. I am not on here everyday and how dare you shame myself and others for this.

I mean it is shameful for the collective board. Not every single poster who didn't comment there. I'm glad you took what was important from my post.

[bittybomb]

Aug 30, 2016 15:32:13 GMT -5 longtimenopost said:

Aug 30, 2016 15:19:18 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Then pause before posting these things. 
It's not that difficult. 
And no, you can't be given the benefit of the doubt. That's not how these things work when you are trying to stay alive, or keep yourself safe, the way most POC are as they must analyze every social situation they encounter. 

Do the work, or face the consequences.
But, hell to the no to expecting, or preferring, to be met kid gloves.
Not in 2016. 

I do pause. And I apologize for making this about me when it is not. Though it remains true - I wish others to have faith that I'm trying to recognize and overcome unconscious bias, I realize that the request to be treated with kid gloves is more suited to my friends and family IRL. It is unfair for me to ask anyone for that on a public message board with hundreds of women whose truths I do not know. 

I haven't read past here, but this struck a chord with me.  I am a white woman, with a white husband, and white children.  It is the job of my husband and me to damn well make sure that our children do not group to be racist assholes.  And it is nobody's fucking job, except our own, to make sure we can do that.  And the only way we can do that is to educate OURSELVES. This is not someone asking a question to try and do better.  This is someone living out fucking ignorance, at best, and more likely racism, and then being all "whoops!  sorry!  I didn't know any better so please be kind and gentle."  NO.  There is literally no time for that shit. 

[spunkarella]

I'm reading and listening.

[NandaB]

Aug 31, 2016 12:26:37 GMT -5 connie0000 said:

It certainly was not the OP's intention of having this post go so far off the fucking rails. With that said, I think if this many people are over the "my kid is beautiful and could be a model" posts, that says something. All mothers think their kids are beautiful. Showing off your kid is what we mothers do. With that said it can get obnoxious easily.


"I didn't come into this post because I figured it was a bunch of my kid is cute bs."

"Same."

"This is my first time setting foot in this thread since it was posted since I figured 90% of the responses would be yeses, 10% would be self (kid?) deprecating, and then a slew of pips."

"I hadn't come in here because I thought it was just a generic post about how naturally, we all find our kids to be adorable."

"but didn't click when I checked in yesterday after lunch because I figured it was a ton of kid photos."

I truly thought this was just ten pages or so of showing off kids and didn't open"
"add me to the list of people who never looked in this post again and assumed it was a bunch of "my baby is beautiful" bs"

But this isn't even the point.

Also, Just because I (and many others) don't want to read a post about how cute everyone thinks their kid is, doesn't mean other people don't enjoy that and shouldn't get to post about it. I also hate polls that are just "list your favorite color, song from the 90s, and Thai food. Other people love that shit.

The point is that someone said something hugely racially insensitive and tone deaf to reality today, and then went through the stages of GBCGBCNing: 1) double down, usually with an "explaination". Sometimes a "I have black friends" is thrown in. 2)"apologize" I'm sorry you feel_ is always a good go to. 3) talk about your feelings and flounce out. OPTIONAL 4) up the frequency that you text or fb message friends from here so they will be more likely to post "I sure miss [mamawhiteface] around here

[TamiTaylor]

Aug 31, 2016 8:52:26 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

TamiTaylor, I just don't see the point of saying "person x, where are you?" Either someone wants to say something meaningful or they don't, you can't force that.

You're right I can't force people to speak up for injustices. They should though.

[brandienee]

I keep typing and deleting...

I don't know what to say, except, I am sorry. I am sorry for not noticing racist comments or ignoring it and hoping it will go away. I am sorry for not using my voice or education to speak up for what's right when it's needed. I am sorry for not taking the time to sit down and really listen when that is also required. I will do better. The POC on GBCN deserve better than this.

I...

I am just so sorry.

[fryjack2]

Holy shit. I'm not a frequent poster, but I do post here. I'm sorry to see natariru and wandering leave. Yet another post that warrants people being called out for inappropriate comments?


I'm not surprised though. It took two full pages of responses on ML (a couple days ago in the "Can we talk about abortion thread) before the OP was called out for her ignorant comments about Islam. I read the op and then read reply after reply for two pages without a single response referencing her comment. Not a single one in 2 pages from a board that has had this conversation so many damn times.

I'm half Middle Eastern raising two Arabic speaking boys with a blonde blue eyed husband. In the 4 years they have been on this earth, I've lost count of the number of times I've called people out on their actions and words like the ML OP. I can only imagine how much worse it is for WOC and their families.

I'm sorry @kirkette @wandering @natariru @stilljustash and all the other posters here who continue to speak out when this happens. You shouldn't have to and don't have to, but thank you for continuing to do so.

[sugarbear]

I was avoiding this thread because my kids are straight-up average.

But I saw 16 pages and figured it's not possible that so many people think their kids are going to have a modeling career.

And now I'm here, and I'm all WTF and FUCKINGGROSS and GETOUTOFHEREWITHTHATSHIT.
I see that Cookie has deleted, and I haven't even read past page 6 yet. Please someone tell me that no one is in here defending her. Please.

[pizzapizza]

This is so sad that we continue to treat the poc on this board like shit. I can't blame @natariu and @wandering for wanting to leave.

As others have said we need to really think before posting. Additionally, the white fragility needs to stop and we need to own and swiftly apologize instead of doubling down when when we show our ass.

Also the Aryan look being the 'ideal'. That was a core tenant of the hateful mentality that murdered my great grandparents. So wtf with that.