Post by nicbreeful on Aug 31, 2016 11:02:09 GMT -5
Also, you could have the cleanest house in the world and it STILL doesn't guarantee no lice. That's like blaming a messy house when someone gets the flu. So he can get right the fuck outta here with that bullshit logic.
I'm so sorry, puddle. His words and behavior are completely unfounded and unacceptable. You are a wonderful, loving mother and your girls are so lucky to have you. I hope you know that.
Post by emoflamingo on Aug 31, 2016 11:32:09 GMT -5
I don't go here really, but I just wanted to echo everyone else: no mom can do it all. Your girls will never remember that time they had lice because "mom was not good enough." If they remember having lice, it'll be "god, remember when we had lice and poor mom had to go through our hair for hours getting everything out?"
Post by newnamesameperson on Aug 31, 2016 11:44:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry you were spoken to like that. It is degrading and undeserving. I hope you realize the words and how he used those words is not a reflection on you but a reflection of him.
Once again, I am sorry that he felt the need to tear you down and no one deserves to be spoken to like that. Please remember that.
no, you also work two jobs: an outside-of-the-home job, and the job of mother. So it should NOT all be on you to clean. So don't try to blame yourself because NONE of that makes it ok for him to talk to you that way. He's just as responsible for the house and kids as you are. You CANNOT do it all yourself.
What? This worthless bag of dicks talked down to you after you work outside of the home AND raise 2 kids? Oh hellllllllllll no. Do you stand up for yourself and fight back? Say anything? I doubt you do, but I'm hoping one day you'll stand up for yourself and those two girls and get away from him.
Maybe this isn't your sentiment, but this is degrading.
Post by hopecounts on Aug 31, 2016 11:55:32 GMT -5
((Hugs)) puddle. You are a wonderful mother. A clean house isn't as important as making sure your kids have what they need and you are ensuring that. Your H can go sat down and shut up.
This made me tear up. I constantly feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a breakdown and comments like his send would send me over the edge. You ARE a good mom and you have made a perfectly imperfect home for your family. Life isn't a Pinterest board.
Post by compassrose on Aug 31, 2016 12:05:41 GMT -5
I'm so sorry your husband is an ass. Your priorities are exactly what they should be and you are an amazing mom-- please don't listen to him or anyone else who might tell you otherwise. And anyone who LIVES WITH YOU AND DOES NOT CLEAN but judges you for the state of your house can go to hell.
Lice happens to everyone-- my niece got it while staying with my moms in their regularly cleaned home, so they did too.
I think you need to realize that lice/cleaning might have been the topic, but this is not the actual issue. The issue is that you have a husband that attacks you in a way that is emotionally abusive. The second issue might be that you could use your own therapist to sort through why you are internalizing any of this as possibly accurate or worthy of your consideration.
And I know my house isn't super clean. He works 2 jobs and is never around. I'm overwhelmed as fuck and by the time I get the girls to bed, I'm wiped out. I know I could be doing more. I know that. But my girls are my life. I do everything I can to be a good mom.
Lice has NOTHING to do with parenting or cleanliness. I got lice SO BAD in MS (YES, FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL, because I was on a dance team and we all shared hair bands and hats and crap. UGH) that it took 3-4 tries to get rid of them. I had to SLEEP in a shower cap with my hair coated in lice killing shit to try and smother them. My mom also decided to make us cut our butt length hair. I cried so hard.
My mom was an amazing mom. Our house wasn't perfectly clean, but it wasn't DIRTY. I don't know any girl who DIDN'T get lice at least once as a kid. I am sure they are out there, but it's soooooo common.
Are you a bad mom if they get the flu? Or a cold? SAME FUCKING THING. Fuck him.
OMG, our house growing up was like a museum it was so clean and my brother and I got lice at least 2 or 3 times.
I can freeze some oranges and get some tube socks (for the beatings) to be at your place for an H ambush anytime. Because his actions are total BS. You know this because you are a great mom! Your H is a pimple on a donkeys ass however.
Post by Velvetshady on Aug 31, 2016 12:39:54 GMT -5
Lice have nothing to do with your ability to parent or to clean. That conversation has everything to do with your DH inability to be a parent or a decent partner. He is the only failure in this scenario, don't allow him to use his failure as a basic human being to guilt you into feeling untrue feelings about yourself.
I'm so sorry he said that to you. Just from what you post here, it's clear how much you love your girls. Don't listen to him. You're a great mom.
Also, my mom kept the house spotless at all times, and I was THE lice kid at school. I always had lice. It has nothing to do with how clean the house is, so he can fuck right off with that.