Was told I'm a shit mom this morning

[sharknado]

Fuck that guy

[Que?]

Aug 31, 2016 12:37:13 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I just want to hug you.

This is how I feel, and I don't even know what else to say.

[followyourarrow]

I'm so sorry. You're not a bad mom and as you know lice has nothing to do with parenting or how clean a house is. Your husband is an ass and you deserve a true partner.

[cbwm1]

((((((((puddle))))))))

You're not a bad mom.

What can we do to help?

[underwaterrhymes]

Can you scoop up the kids and come to Chicago for a break? Look, I will drive up and get you and your kids, if you want. You can stay with us for a few days. I really mean it. I said our house was messy in another thread, but it's not dirty and I am a good cook.

And the Chicago women are awesome.

[Deleted]

Aug 31, 2016 10:28:14 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Aug 31, 2016 10:11:27 GMT -5 amandakisser said:

no, you also work two jobs: an outside-of-the-home job, and the job of mother. So it should NOT all be on you to clean. So don't try to blame yourself because NONE of that makes it ok for him to talk to you that way. He's just as responsible for the house and kids as you are. You CANNOT do it all yourself.

What?  This worthless bag of dicks talked down to you after you work outside of the home AND raise 2 kids?  Oh hellllllllllll no.  Do you stand up for yourself and fight back?  Say anything?  I doubt you do, but I'm hoping one day you'll stand up for yourself and those two girls and get away from him.  

^o)  Sometimes standing up and fighting back does very little. I used to stand up to my XH all the time and it only made our fights escalate further. When someone is verbally abusive like this, "standing up for yourself" isn't going to make him suddenly see the light.

[missyny]

Oxoxo

Have always known you're Def one of the great ones!♡

Wine on me tonight!!!!!

[puddleofgrace]

Aug 31, 2016 14:15:06 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Aug 31, 2016 10:28:14 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

What?  This worthless bag of dicks talked down to you after you work outside of the home AND raise 2 kids?  Oh hellllllllllll no.  Do you stand up for yourself and fight back?  Say anything?  I doubt you do, but I'm hoping one day you'll stand up for yourself and those two girls and get away from him.  

 Sometimes standing up and fighting back does very little. I used to stand up to my XH all the time and it only made our fights escalate further. When someone is verbally abusive like this, "standing up for yourself" isn't going to make him suddenly see the light.

Yeah, this is where I'm at. If I get more angry, he gets more angry and hurtful.

Plus,  I was crying so hard I could hardly talk. He just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and wake the fuck up.


Crazy thing is...he's acting like nothing happened. It's kind of the cycle.

Thank you guys for always listening and supporting me. I love you guys so much. (heart)

[Deleted]

Aug 31, 2016 14:20:18 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Aug 31, 2016 14:15:06 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

 Sometimes standing up and fighting back does very little. I used to stand up to my XH all the time and it only made our fights escalate further. When someone is verbally abusive like this, "standing up for yourself" isn't going to make him suddenly see the light.

Thank you guys for always listening and supporting me. I love you guys so much. (heart)

I am so sorry you are experiencing this cruelty. I hate his response to your crying, too.

I guess all I can add is that it can be SO MUCH better. I used to be where you are, just a few years ago, and I'm not anymore and I'm so much happier. I even have a very kind partner who has never spoken to me anywhere close to how your H/my XH did. I know it's hard to leave, but you don't have to put up with this forever. Life can be so much better. Hugs to you.

[anlo]

You are a wonderful mom, and he is a shithead. I'm sorry.

[cleo29]

puddleofgrace, You are an amazing mom. You work so hard for your kid and to be the best advocate for them, every day. Lice is such a common part of childhood, I do not understand his outrage. Everybody growing up has it had it at least once and we all survived. You are doing all that you can and that is all that matters.

I am sorry that he is not a true partner to you and insists on being cruel to you. You deserve so much more.

[fryjack2]

Lice are equal opportunity sons of bitches.

You are an amazing mom. You kids feel and know that.

I'm sorry that he made you feel so bad. Its not ok and I hope he gets his shit together and stops doing that.

((Puddle))

[textbookcase]

I'm so sorry. This cycle sounds SOOOO familiar to me and I know how much it sucks. You know you're an amazing mom and he's just trying to get you where it hurts the most. Fuck him! <3

[W.T.Faulkner]

Aug 31, 2016 14:20:18 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Aug 31, 2016 14:15:06 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

 Sometimes standing up and fighting back does very little. I used to stand up to my XH all the time and it only made our fights escalate further. When someone is verbally abusive like this, "standing up for yourself" isn't going to make him suddenly see the light.

Plus,  I was crying so hard I could hardly talk. He just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and wake the fuck up.

You do not deserve to be treated this way by anyone, much less your husband and father of your children. I hope you know this.

[sharknado]

Aug 31, 2016 15:52:12 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Aug 31, 2016 14:20:18 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Plus,  I was crying so hard I could hardly talk. He just told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and wake the fuck up.

You do not deserve to be treated this way by anyone, much less your husband and father of your children. I hope you know this.

This, this is not ok.

[Deleted]

Wow. He's a jerk.

The reason there are successful businesses built around lice treatment and removal is because it's really hard to do. so no. Not your fault they are still there/came back. It's not your fault the lice were there in the first place!

Also, not that I think your house should be cleaner, but the only way DH and I could keep up with house cleaning and a job each (pre-kids) was to have a house cleaner every two weeks. Add a kid and we had her come weekly. It's ok to not "do it all"

[scottyderp]

No. You're not letting that get into your head today, or, ever. Hugs.

[junebug]

hugs. Aside from what he said not being true (because, fuck him, totally not true) it pisses me off that it's all being put on you. Regardless of him having two jobs, he is still the parent as well and should be helping the situation/ supporting you rather than blaming you. Also, wtf that this is your fault. Lice is like, the most contagious thing ever and kids spread it around like crazy. I'm sorry he is making you feel like a shitty mom. He's being a shitty husband. 

[katiescarlett]

OK I didn't read this whole thread so I'm sorry if something was missed. But fuck him. If you are a shitty mom for missing it, then he is a shitty dad because he did too. I seriously would want to light him on fire while he slept. I am sorry he sucks.

[borinquen57]

I believe that the fact that you even question if you're a good mom speaks to the kind of mom that you are; I really doubt shitty moms do a lot of self-reflection. You can be a better mom, keep your house cleaner, bring down the sun and the moon and I can guarantee that he will still find something to say to try and break you. You're not the problem, he is. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

[venice2007]

Lice happens to anyone
Fuck him
You are a great mom

[Captain Serious]

Puddle, Poodle, I'm so sorry he was so cruel. It's telling that you say this is a cycle within your relationship. It's the cycle of abuse. Either he learns to fight fair, you this will continue as long as you are with him. You deserve better.

If he felt bad or showed remorse, I might ask if you thought he'd be willing to try counseling. The fact that he's just acting like nothing happened would madden me, and I think it's indicative of how little he cares about your feelings.

I'm so sorry you are living this.

[Eagles]

Aug 31, 2016 18:49:08 GMT -5 capscapscaps said:

No. Fuck that douche. And fuck his nasty ass attitude, and fuck his ignorant bullshit about CPS, and fuck his inability to be a compassionate husband and fuck his face with a rusty chainsaw.

Fuck.

Alladis right here. ^^^

[cinnamoncox0]

puddleofgrace I'm very sorry he was so cruel to you. You have shown time and time again here that those girls are your life, and you work so very hard at parenting them well, and your job, and managing your useless dh. I hope you know how much he sucks and how much worth you hold. I hope you have options. Hugs pog

[cville]

This is not you. This is not lice. This is him. I promise. We know you, and we know you are a good mom.

There is only one kind of vermin in your house.

[Deleted]

I have been mad at this dickhole all day. You know what else pisses me off? Lice is most commonly spread from head to head contact (affectionate, friendly, kind, loving behaviors) and sharing. So he wants to bring you down for raising your kids to be socially interactive, who hug and sit with friends and share personal space. Kids who are selfless and share chairs and bows and dress up toys or what have you.

No. Just hell to the fucking no.

[missyny]

I'm back in here thinking about you, too, puddle. Hope you're doing alright tonight.

[miniroller]

Aug 31, 2016 22:26:55 GMT -5 missyny said:

I'm back in here thinking about you, too, puddle. Hope you're doing alright tonight.

YUP. Just hope you've not been broken by his evil statements, & rather, Believe Us, & see them for what they are. An emotionally-detached husband disgustingly, disconnectedly bitching at his emotionally-fragile wife. For no other reason than feeling better about himself- PUKE.

[lexxasaurus]

It IS the cycle of abuse. The "calm" afterwards is exactly part of this cycle. You deserve so, so much more than this, and I hope you come to realize that. I didn't think I was worthy when I was in the middle of my abusive relationship, but no. No one deserves to be treated like that, ever, especially from someone who should be your equal and partner.

[mrsukyankee]

puddleofgrace, I've worked with the kids who have bad moms. YOU are NOT one of those. You are fabulous and put your kids first. Your H is being an abusive shitbag. Seriously - he's hitting you hard with words. You do not deserve that. You are fabulous. He is an asshat.