I just can't get over that you thought this was ok. Your self absorption here is alarming.
But is it really? Not making any excuses for her, but I can think of quite a few topics off the top of my head for which Tamb has shown alarming self-absorption. Maybe that's why I'm still in a state of pleasant bafflement. Lol. I really thought she was smarter than this, but obviously not.
I agree. I did think she was smarter than this, though I'm not sure why.
Apologies in advance for using a word that many (likely all) of us find repulsive. I am trying to make a point and I will censor the word shortly.
@tambcat pretend for a moment that you work in an office with only men. Every day you hear the men discuss hiring another woman because they need to make the workplace more diverse to meet some metric and check the box to prove they aren't sexist. And then you get on Facebook to blow off some steam and chat with friends and see that a male friend posted about how he isn't sexist and has risen above the level of using the word "cunt."
Do those quotation marks keep you from feeling uncomfortable seeing it typed out? Is it ok that he used the word because he wasn't calling someone by that name? Now take that uncomfortable feeling you have and magnify it by, oh, hundreds of years worth of this bullshit. How do you think that would feel?
Apologies in advance for using a word that many (likely all) of us find repulsive. I am trying to make a point and I will censor the word shortly.
@tambcat pretend for a moment that you work in an office with only men. Every day you hear the men discuss hiring another woman because they need to make the workplace more diverse to meet some metric and check the box to prove they aren't sexist. And then you get on Facebook to blow off some steam and chat with friends and see that a male friend posted about how he isn't sexist and has risen above the level of using the word "cunt."
Do those quotation marks keep you from feeling uncomfortable seeing it typed out? Is it ok that he used the word because he wasn't calling someone by that name? Now take that uncomfortable feeling you have and magnify it by, oh, hundreds of years worth of this bullshit. How do you think that would feel?
Don't ever type that word again.
Cunt isn't the same at all, like not even a bit. Not comparable in the least 🙄
So, I checked in on the boards from vacation all "wonder what's going on..."
Did not expect this. I mean. It's not even been 24 hours racism-free! @tambcat, we've both been on here forever. Long enough I know even if you hadn't seen or heard of the repugnance of "token" or the n word elsewhere you'd have been educated here.* I can't cast stones because I have my own glass house and am sure I've hurt others with my words, but damn.
*eta: I mean, it's 2016. Surely we all know. SURELY.
meanwhile, i visibly flinched when I read it. really? that's something you're just comfortable reading/hearing right between fall and winter mini Boden lineups? no big deal, right?
how nice for you.
No, it's not . I don't use that word and I have asked people not to use it around me or my kids. I thought I had read in the past that it was worse to dance around it when talking about racism and the terrible things white people have said to black people because it minimizes the horror.
I don't think there's anything I can say at this point to make you, collectively, believe I'm not a hateful, racist person who doesn't care about anything but kids clothes. I would hope the people who have gotten to know me over the years would know that that is not who I am. I am trying to show I care by joining in the conversations, since people have told me it is hurtful to stay silent, but I've done so much more harm now that I wish I hadn't.
This is really irking me. You're basically blaming the people wanting you to participate instead of your inability to participate thoughtfully and unoffensively. For someone who is basically a professional navel gazer, I'd think reflecting on yourself would have a greater interest to you instead of just throwing your hands up.
No disagreement that it's lightyears different and I'm not attempting to compare its use to what Tamb said. They are on completely different levels. As a white woman working in a male dominated field, sexism is something I can easily relate to and I think that's true for much of this board. I was hoping to draw a parallel line of thought on a topic that doesn't put her "I'M NOT A RACIST" white, fragile blinders on to get her to see that her entire line of thinking is wrong. It was not my intention to portray it as an example on the same level at all.
meanwhile, i visibly flinched when I read it. really? that's something you're just comfortable reading/hearing right between fall and winter mini Boden lineups? no big deal, right?
how nice for you.
.I am trying to show I care by joining in the conversations, since people have told me it is hurtful to stay silent, but I've done so much more harm now that I wish I hadn't.Â
Lol nah, I think it's cool if you don't post anymore. You are not doing us any favors by "listening and learning" and posting. You people don't know how to be decent, thoughtful human beings, it's a damn shame.
Post by aussiecrush on Sept 15, 2016 13:55:19 GMT -5
The place where you defend Stellas, Booby etc, is the place inside you that allows you to say things like token and the n word. It's not new, it didn't come to light because of these threads.
This is my first foray into any of these threads bc 1. Who the hell am I? And 2. By the time I read them I don't have anything new or substantial to say. But here goes. This word is uncomfortable and SHOULD BE uncomfortable and repugnant in just about any setting. I've taught 8th graders for 12 years until this year, in a predominately white Christian school. "To kill a mockingbird" uses this word and especially in my on-level classes we did read aloud sections. Every year we addressed reading this word aloud in class and how they would feel if it was a derogatory term directed at them, and the class came to a decision (sometimes guided by me, depending on the level and makeup of the class) not to use if when they read aloud. It's just not a word that white upper middle class kids (or any white peoples, but I'm speaking to specifically who I taught) should become comfortable using even when reading from a text.
The other times I had to address the word was when (always) males in multi racial friendships used it amongst the group of friends. I just outlawed it completely and asked all to find new words to address each other. I don't know if I was wrong but I did sit with some black students and have conversations about how even if they felt comfortable with their friends using the word toward them, it was a bad practice for their friends to get into because not everyone felt the same way.
I'm not teaching this year, because it was time for me to get out of that school in terms of race relations, political affiliations, and their view of Christianity. But should I handle that second part (second paragraph) differently in the future? Because I'll admit it usually felt weird/presumptuous on one hand to tell black student what words their friends could or couldn't use, but on the other hand they shouldn't be freely using that wor. ill probably be teaching the same age kids again in the future.
Well I don't know about you all, but I'm sick and god damned tired of white people dancing around the N-word!
Oh wait. No I'm not. It's so absurd. And I'm reading the post, and it's not like she was making some deep point! She was just all, "I can't believe that black people have been called n---." Um... You do realize that they call it hate speech for a reason, right? Or is that something else you need to brush up on?
meanwhile, i visibly flinched when I read it. really? that's something you're just comfortable reading/hearing right between fall and winter mini Boden lineups? no big deal, right?
how nice for you.
As did I.
Holy fucking shit.
I am seriously not sure this board can be redeemed.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Well I don't know about you all, but I'm sick and god damned tired of white people dancing around the N-word!
Oh wait. No I'm not. It's so absurd. And I'm reading the post, and it's not like she was making some deep point! She was just all, "I can't believe that black people have been called n---." Um... You do realize that they call it hate speech for a reason, right? Or is that something else you need to brush up on?
Right? Like how is that even a thought?
Yay I'm so glad white people feel comfortable saying the N word because being called that for decades and literally killed was totally cool too.
I haven't been able to check into this thread for a while. I saw the original token comment and felt my jaw just about drop off of my face. As someone who has been the "token" on many a group, I couldn't believe that anyone would think it's okay to use that term in such a way so blatantly in 2016! Then I saw that NitaX had swiftly and eloquently corrected in better words than I could have and I thought maybe we could get back to a discussion of the original article. But now I come here and see that the N-word was used?! I just can't believe that anyone could innocently use a word that is so filled with hate and pain. I'm so sorry, disgusted, upset and hurt to see that and I don't care what kind of justification is made. It's not okay.
can't believe (although I should) that Texas has textbooks calling Mexicans lazy. Or that someone as young as she is had a school teacher talking to the class about "niggers." Please note, I'm not doubting her, I'm just horrified. Of course, it's easy for me to be outraged at these flagrant examples of racism, because they're the kinds of things I feel like I've "risen above." I would never say THAT stuff. What's really sad that we can spot and decry all of that shit and still make the spaces we dominate (including here, apparently) uncomfortable for black people.
Tamb, we have been around together a long time. I think the previous poster hit the nail on the head, you're not the hateful in your face racist, you're a benevolent racist. Although the posts here have you leaning over on the scale to be honest.
I know you said now you wish you hadn't bothered, but this is how you actually learn and do better. You get called out. You learn. You do better.
And to call myself out, my first inclination was to be easier on you because I know you deal with anxiety and depression, you've used this place as a coping mechanism for a long time and you're newly pregnant. But lots of our WOC have been and/or are those very same things and we as a community haven't been looking out for them at all. You typed out the n word! What kind of impact does that have on those women who are in the same emotional place as you?
And so do I.
But you can bet your ass Tamb will be treated with kid gloves by her fan club. It infuriating.
Shes listening, learning and trying to participate YO!
I'm just use to her bullshit and her getting away with it.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
meanwhile, i visibly flinched when I read it. really? that's something you're just comfortable reading/hearing right between fall and winter mini Boden lineups? no big deal, right?
how nice for you.
No, it's not . I don't use that word and I have asked people not to use it around me or my kids. I thought I had read in the past that it was worse to dance around it when talking about racism and the terrible things white people have said to black people because it minimizes the horror.
I don't think there's anything I can say at this point to make you, collectively, believe I'm not a hateful, racist person who doesn't care about anything but kids clothes. I would hope the people who have gotten to know me over the years would know that that is not who I am. I am trying to show I care by joining in the conversations, since people have told me it is hurtful to stay silent, but I've done so much more harm now that I wish I hadn't.
You participate. You don't type out the damn N word. Who the hell would ever think that was a good choice? Oh wait... A white woman who just didn't think before she fucking typed. That's some shit.
Post by CheeringCharm on Sept 15, 2016 16:25:44 GMT -5
Wow, I am stunned that someone would think it's ok to use that word even in quotes. Or to refer to someone as a token Every time I think we've *finally* hit rock bottom on this board, it seems to get worse the next day. It's appalling.
Post by TamiTaylor on Sept 15, 2016 16:25:56 GMT -5
I agree with @natariru, Tambcat needs to fucking leave. I mean are we really needing/going to miss posts about her H's gross hair, no sex life, Amy's burritos, and Janie and Jack clothes.
When I first saw this mentioned on CEP, I thought it must've been referencing an old post from Tamb which would've been bad enough, but a post from two days ago? Two fucking days ago?! Which was several days after all the "listening and learning" was supposed to have begun.