I found a "whore tank top" in my bedroom once after I had traveled for business. Assumed the worst of DH and demanded he meet me for lunch. I shoved the thing in a ziploc to preserve the "whore smell" and took it to lunch and dramatically threw it at him. After me saying the word whore about 20,000 times in relation to the tank top he said "Well, I guess that makes my mom a whore. She was asking if I had seen it since it went missing from the beach". I was still so pissed I was shaking and so I made him call his mom and had her describe the missing tank top to me so. Whoops.
I'm sorry but this made me laugh because I could totally see myself doing this with the same result.
I found a "whore tank top" in my bedroom once after I had traveled for business. Assumed the worst of DH and demanded he meet me for lunch. I shoved the thing in a ziploc to preserve the "whore smell" and took it to lunch and dramatically threw it at him. After me saying the word whore about 20,000 times in relation to the tank top he said "Well, I guess that makes my mom a whore. She was asking if I had seen it since it went missing from the beach". I was still so pissed I was shaking and so I made him call his mom and had her describe the missing tank top to me so. Whoops.
...I'mma be honest, you sound absolutely batshit crazy.
OP: has anybody talked to this girl's parents about the fact that she keeps leaving her underpants at your house? And how does she "invite herself over"?
In that instance I totally was, I will completely admit it. I figured I would save the OP some of the embarassment of finding out that your MIL wears black lacy tank tops and suggest she ask the nanny first.
Its ok nitaw. i joke about dh having a girlfriend since before we were married. but our marriage does kinda suck for other reasons, so clearly i am not a good role model here
(hugs)
My H would flip his shit. And he is level headed, but that would do irreparable harm to my marriage. We seriously just don't ever joke like that.
Post by runforrest on Sept 10, 2012 10:58:44 GMT -5
I am interested in what the nanny says, and think you should try to reserve any judgment until you speak with her. My mind would immediately go to cheating as well, but I have crazy anxiety and have watched too much daytime TV in my life, so there's that.
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 10:58:47 GMT -5
They are NOT hers, according to nanny. She still wears all princess underwear. I ASSUME the nanny does all family laundry and would say, "wait a minute, those could be the mom's..." and she didn't.
And I felt embarrassed enough without positing that theory about borrowing the mom's underwear.
Its ok nitaw. i joke about dh having a girlfriend since before we were married. but our marriage does kinda suck for other reasons, so clearly i am not a good role model here
(hugs)
My H would flip his shit. And he is level headed, but that would do irreparable harm to my marriage. We seriously just don't ever joke like that.
See, we joke about that all the time. But I also call his BFF his 2nd wife so that sort of joking between us has multiple levels.
Post by Daria Morgandorffer on Sept 10, 2012 11:01:48 GMT -5
I'd probably be acting just like the "whore tank" poster. But....I've been cheated on by someone I never thought would be capable of it and I'm a bit of an overreactor now. When I was pregnant and hormonally insane, I found a poem while cleaning out a bookshelf. It was quite risque and I flipped my shit at my H. He calmly pointed out the date written on the back and um, it was from 2004. Lol. Oops. I still blame that on pregnancy.
So, I would suggest not doing that Most likely it's something to do with the neighbors because I cannot imagine a dude being stupid enough to either carry around some other chicks panties with him or let them end up in his laundry otherwise.
Crap - I am sorry you even have to think about this... I like the question phrased as sbp put it: "I think the better question is, "I can't believe I'm asking you this, but I found these underwear, they're not mine, do you know who they belong to?" [watch for shifty eyes and sweating hands.]
Also, don't tell him where you found them. Just say you found them. That give him less room to make something up if he's actually cheating on you."
They are NOT hers, according to nanny. She still wears all princess underwear. I ASSUME the nanny does all family laundry and would say, "wait a minute, those could be the mom's..." and she didn't.
And I felt embarrassed enough without positing that theory about borrowing the mom's underwear.
What next, CEP?
Fuck.
You're going to need to calmly sit down with your H and ask him if he knows who's they are. Like other posters have said, do NOT call him or email him or make him suspect that he's going to be asked before you actually do it.
Also, this is the point where I'd be snooping, but I own up to my crazy regarding fidelity.
I do just want to say that in my office right now I have 1. One book 2. One jeans jacket 3. One Old Navy denim sun dress 4. One pair of "whore smelling" white lacy thong underwear.
All belongs, once again, to my sister who was in our house for all of 72 hours a week ago and left half her fucking suit case in my daughter's room. I'm supposed to mail it all back to her, and all I can think is that if she'd just left the underwear and I'd come to CEP with "OMG, I just found this underwear in my daughter's room", 300 people would have poured out to say, "Don't be an idiot, of course your H is cheating on you." And then the next day, I would have gotten an email from my sister asking me to mail her stuff back to her.
The are reasonable explanations for things that seem unreasonable. Don't panic yet.
LOL. Well, I'm thinking you wouldn't do that now. ;-)
And I'm just going to ditto the last line of your post.
See if you can ask the nanny to confirm or deny that they belong to the neighbor girl. I really doubt, though, that a 2nd grader could wear adult small underwear.
But yeah, I'd wait until tonight and ask him in person.
My 3rd grader SD wears adult underwear (either small or medium) but she's a BIG girl... like 5', 115 lbs big. Is this neighbor kid an average sized 2nd grader or does she fall on the bigger side of the spectrum? Good luck OP.
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 11:26:32 GMT -5
So, he actually just called to see if me and 2 year old son want to meet for lunch since it's a nice day. Go ahead and bring it up?
As for racking my brain for all possible bizarre explanations -- there were a lot more people in and out of our house this weekend than usual. Friday night, 37 year old single BIL stayed. He did go meet friends for drinks.
There was a babysitter here Saturday night to stay with little one during the football game, but I'd say she's a size large, very unlikely they are hers (and HOLY SHIT if the babysitter took off her underwear in my home! I'm going to have a coronary.) Then, DH's old college buddy came over and had a pregame drink with us before we all went to the game.
So while I find it highly unlikely, it is not impossible that BIL or DH's friend could have for whatever nasty reason had ladies' underpants in their pocket, etc.
Post by livinitup on Sept 10, 2012 11:36:51 GMT -5
Also, ask your 4 year old. It's a weird long shot, but I have a 4 year old in my house too and she's surprisd me with some of the random things she's spotted and collected. And if she knew, she would be able to tell me point blank who, when and where they turned up. As long as se doesn't think she's in trouble, she can give stunning details.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Sept 10, 2012 11:55:10 GMT -5
... Also, ask your 4 year old. It's a weird long shot, but ...[/quote]
I lol'd when I read this very wise suggestion, because to this day, whenever I find any random bit or bauble in the house, I bring it to my younger son. "Oh, yeah, that the XXX from the YYY. I neeeeed that." He knows everything.
Our babysitter left underwear at our house. It was one of the occasions she had stayed the night with DD. I found them, washed them, and returned them. But prior to returning them I had them on the table and DW didn't realize they weren't mine and put them away in my drawer. So 1) there could be a very rational reason for an odd pair of undies to appear and 2) DHs/DWs can be totally clueless about what their spouse owns.
Ask him directly and put the worrying the behind you.
Post by hopecounts on Sept 10, 2012 12:00:13 GMT -5
I second the did the babysitter have a bag? During my period I usually carry an extra pair of panties just in case, could she have had a spare set with her for some reason and it fell out/one of the kids grabbed them out?
I think there is still room for non-cheating explanations. However, OP, the fact that you don't seem to think cheating is outside of the realm of possibility seems more telling to me than anything else.
I like the idea of asking your 4-year-old, but if he doesn't know then I would still wait until he is in bed to ask your husband (assuming you're not already there asking him at lunch).