1. Dumped out hamper, found these when sorting. Could have been loose, or shaken loose from a pocket.
2. There is a 2nd grade girl next door who invites herself over all the time, and was here 3 times over the weekend. She has left underwear in our bathroom before. Last time it was obvious because they were right next to the toilet after she left and I returned them immediately to the nanny -- feeling like a creeper. I can't ask if they are hers this time because it's different than knowing they were hers.
3. I'm unfamiliar with this store, Aeire. They are for grownups, I guess? I see there is a kids line, but would they say the "77Kids" brand in the tag? These say size small, and they are sold on the "grown up" side, and I don't see the exact same design currently on the kids side. The reviews say these run very small. Could an 8 year old be wearing size small adult underwear?
4. If DH cheated, it would have had to be during the workday or something. Dude never goes anywhere in the evenings. Except on Saturday night we were together at a baseball game with one of our kids and one of DH's friends (also married...). I left around 8pm to take my son home. DH stayed to catch ride home with his friend and they did stop at a bar to watch end of a football game on TV. He was home between 10 - 10:30, he said. I was asleep, so I can't verify that.
5. We've been getting along amazingly well. Our sex life is better than ever. He has been doing twice as much around the house lately, and is being thoughtful at every turn. So on one hand, I'm in disbelief that NOW would be the time he cheated. On the other, of course some people are nicer because of guilt. But this is the best my marriage has ever been, and if there is an innocent explanation I don't want to fuck up the good thing we have going.
So, I'm unsure what to do next. He's at work. I'm at home with our youngest. My sister thinks I need to talk in person so I can read his expression. Lunch? With 2 year old in tow? Or tonight? I can think of nothing else. How would you approach. Straightforward? "Here's what I found. Please explain." ?
hmm. to me I could see DH finding them from the girl leaving them and throwing them in the hamper thinking they were yours. Men don't really notice girls vs. women's undies. DH can hardly tell mine from DDs apart and I have no small ass.
Post by PinkSquirrel on Sept 10, 2012 10:00:38 GMT -5
I have no idea about the rest of it, but as someone wearing a pair of Aeire mediums right now, she would have to be a pretty large 8 year old to fit in the smalls. They do run small, but not that small.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Sept 10, 2012 10:05:34 GMT -5
Oh man. that sucks.
I would ask the nanny next door first- Just be like I found these undies, they might be my (imaginary) little sister's, but before I call her I thought I would check with you first in case neighborchild left them.
I would talk to your H tonight, not before. Yes I would want to ask him in person.
See if you can ask the nanny to confirm or deny that they belong to the neighbor girl. I really doubt, though, that a 2nd grader could wear adult small underwear.
But yeah, I'd wait until tonight and ask him in person.
I'm really sorry but I can't get past why an 8 year old girl coming over all the time and leaving underwear at your house? Do you have other children that she is playing with? Is she changing into a bathing suit to go swimming, and leaving other clothes over at your house?
ETA - I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like an asshole and hope that I didn't. I would start snooping around first through emails, cell phone records, and bank statements before confronting him. And I'm really sorry you are dealing with this.
I just don't think my husband would put someone else's panties in our laundry so I'm hoping yours wouldn't either. Have you stayed at someone's houe recently or had houseguests? I wouldn't freak just yet.
I'm really sorry but I can't get past why an 8 year old girl coming over all the time and leaving underwear at your house? Do you have other children that she is playing with? Is she changing into a bathing suit to go swimming, and leaving other clothes over at your house?
Me either. I would get it if you have a pool or something but otherwise it is weird.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Sept 10, 2012 10:19:58 GMT -5
Eh, my 8 year old neighbor boy would totally do something like get his underwear a little messy (hey accidents still happen) and be embarrassed, and not want to just bring them to me, so leave them on the bathroom floor thinking that would make them magically go away
I'm really sorry but I can't get past why an 8 year old girl coming over all the time and leaving underwear at your house? Do you have other children that she is playing with? Is she changing into a bathing suit to go swimming, and leaving other clothes over at your house?
Me either. I would get it if you have a pool or something but otherwise it is weird.
Mother of a 9 yr old chiming in. This is actually plausible. My DD had a sleep over with probably about 8 girls. I had socks, panties, shirts, slippers, and the like left at my house. Normally what happens is that when the girls go to the bathroom to change clothes, they just bring the pile back to the room and then haphazardly throw clothes in their overnight bags.
It's possible. And if you've got one 8 year old who is larger than your average 8 year old, you can have a kid in adult smalls. It's not that far fetched.
OP - check with the nanny first. I'm all about a cheating husband, but check to see if the kid left undies at your house. My daughter leaves nightclothes and what not at her BFFs house all.the.time.
I just don't think my husband would put someone else's panties in our laundry so I'm hoping yours wouldn't either. Have you stayed at someone's houe recently or had houseguests? I wouldn't freak just yet.
My DH doesn't have my underwear drawer memorized.
OP I would call the nanny and say you've had houseguests recently and are wondering if the underwear is neighbors or theirs. A female has recently left underwear at your house under perfectly logical circumstances. I'd be inclined to think its just happened again, more than that your DH is cheating.
I just don't think my husband would put someone else's panties in our laundry so I'm hoping yours wouldn't either. Have you stayed at someone's houe recently or had houseguests? I wouldn't freak just yet.
My DH doesn't have my underwear drawer memorized.
OP I would call the nanny and say you've had houseguests recently and are wondering if the underwear is neighbors or theirs. A female has recently left underwear at your house under perfectly logical circumstances. I'd be inclined to think its just happened again, more than that your DH is cheating.
LOL. This too. My H is always mixing up my and my daughter's clothes. We are not the same size.
I just don't think my husband would put someone else's panties in our laundry so I'm hoping yours wouldn't either. Have you stayed at someone's houe recently or had houseguests? I wouldn't freak just yet.
I don't think my husband would have a clue. We recently on a vacation with family and at one point my MIL did laundry with a little bit of everything from everyone. I ended up coming home with a pair of random undies and when I showed them to DH I got something along the lines of "they're not yours?" Anyway, I'm sure DH is not the only one clueless as to what may or may not be my own undies. I'm sure if he saw ladies undies anywhere in my house that they'd end up in the hamper.
I'm really sorry but I can't get past why an 8 year old girl coming over all the time and leaving underwear at your house? Do you have other children that she is playing with? Is she changing into a bathing suit to go swimming, and leaving other clothes over at your house?
Me either. I would get it if you have a pool or something but otherwise it is weird.
It IS totally weird. This girl makes me crazy. I have a 4 year old and 2 year old and she and her 4 year old brother invite themselves over to play all the time and run wild in my house. She's only done it one other time, and it was quite awhile ago. Maybe a year. But it was so strange that I remember it clearly. We don't have a pool or any reason for her to change clothes.
My son just pulls his pants down to his ankles, but my sister and best friend said their young kids are known to remove pants and undies when using the toilet then putting it back on. She was wearing leggings yesterday, so maybe she just put those back on and forgot the panties.
I don't think my husband would notice whether or not they were mine if he was just picking up and tossing clothes into the hamper. He's not terribly detail oriented. My instinct is that they are the neighbor's, but if they are NOT hers, I can't think of any other explanation that's not sinister. MIL was here yesterday, too, but I don't recall her changing clothes and I can't for the life of me imagine her buying undies at aerie where teenage girls shop. She wears pretty sophisticated clothes and little cotton polka dot undies seem completely unlike her.
It says on the website that small is for a hip size of 35-36 inches. Are there really second graders with hips that size?!
It's not fat Tuesday, but yes. I have seen some overweight 2 graders who could certainly wear an adult size if the large in a child's size were too small.
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 10:36:13 GMT -5
LOL, in the most awkward text of my life, I laid them side by side with a pair of mine and took a picture to see if my sister thought they looked like adult or kids.' My kids' butts are tiny, but they weigh less than 35 lb, so I don't really know how big an 8 year old's underwear should be.
This whole thing makes me feel either creepy or completely paranoid.
My best friend thinks I should go talk to the nanny and, like one of you suggested, say "so and so was over here, not sure if these are hers or K's"
I have no idea about the rest of it, but as someone wearing a pair of Aeire mediums right now, she would have to be a pretty large 8 year old to fit in the smalls. They do run small, but not that small.
underwear twinsies!!!!!!
And pinky can't wear small Aerie undies. She's 9, a skinny 9 yes but she'd have to add 20lbs to her ass before she could wear them.
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 10:39:10 GMT -5
SBP, They wouldn't had to have been from last 4 days or so. As for the size of the girl, I think she is tall, but thin. If I had to guess, she's still under 5 feet. I'm bad at estimating these things.
IF this is a sign of cheating, it is worth noting that DH cleaned out his car Saturday morning, and he may have run across them thinking they were mine and forgetting some other indiscretion.
I really, really don't think it's the case, but I also don't want to be a fool. This happens to so many people -- do all of them think "he couldn't have!" ?
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 10:41:11 GMT -5
Oh eff it -- I've already put all this out there. Should I post the damn picture? I feel like the FBI will bang down my door if I post underwear that could potentially below to a child. See? Paranoia.
Is that picture awkward looking to anyone else? It's like someone else's hands are on homegirl's hips.
And yeah, I'd just casually ask when he gets home. "Uhm, you know what's strange, honey? I found a pair of undies in the hamper today and they are not mine. hmmmmm"
Post by Daria Morgandorffer on Sept 10, 2012 10:42:40 GMT -5
Unless this girl is overweight, I can't see her wearing adult aerie panties of any size. I wear Aerie mediums because they are great for gals with err...curvy...butts.
Does the size/style seem comparable at all to what you returned last time?
On the other hand, Aerie cotton panties don't really jump out at me as sexy "have an affair" type panties...
Post by incognitomosquito on Sept 10, 2012 10:42:54 GMT -5
SBP, I hadn't thought of that! I could totally see her doing this. She acts much older than she is. She already talks about kissing boys and is all full of sass. I can see her sneaking a pair of her mom's to feel like a grown up. Hmm...
Post by ringstrue on Sept 10, 2012 10:43:48 GMT -5
Its also totally possible that they don't fit her well - which may be why she took them off - but bought them with her mom thinking they would fit since they are size small and looked small. It's also possible that they are the mom's and she borrowed them. Low-rise undies are harder to size visually.
Just from the pic they look way more like everyday undies than "I'm gonna go hook up" undies.
i would say "I found your girlfriend's undies in the hamper today." and see what he says
That is my first instinct.
But if he denies, I'll never really know if he's truthful unless I confirm who they really do belong to. Which means I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and walk next door. I find the thought mortifying. Blech.
Post by pixy0stix on Sept 10, 2012 10:48:14 GMT -5
If they were big for her, that'd be a reason why the neighbor kid took them off. I'd just take them over and ask and get it over with. No sense obsessing over them if you have a simple solution right next door.
Post by ering1115 on Sept 10, 2012 10:48:16 GMT -5
I would ask the nanny first as well.
I found a "whore tank top" in my bedroom once after I had traveled for business. Assumed the worst of DH and demanded he meet me for lunch. I shoved the thing in a ziploc to preserve the "whore smell" and took it to lunch and dramatically threw it at him. After me saying the word whore about 20,000 times in relation to the tank top he said "Well, I guess that makes my mom a whore. She was asking if I had seen it since it went missing from the beach". I was still so pissed I was shaking and so I made him call his mom and had her describe the missing tank top to me so. Whoops.
Do adults really have sex in their car. And if they do, and they ran across a pair of women's underwear in their car, would they be stupid enough to just assume they belong to their wife... who they're cheat on... whom they have not recently fucked in their car???
Yes they do.
And look, I'mma say this because I'm probably close to PMSing. Women - Please stop with this GOTCHA BS, Half Joking lines of questions. For the Love of Green Grass act like a dayum adult and say "I found this. Do you know who this belongs to?" Sorry, Major, but if I said some stuff like "I found your girlfriend's undies" to my H who is not cheating on me, I'd do some serious harm to my marriage.
My common sense response is ask the nanny to see who the shit belongs to. You DON'T have to tell your H you did that. If she says they don't belong to a child or adult in that household, then ask your H. Don't throw snarky shit in with it. Ask matter of factly and watch his response. That will then tell you anything else you need to know - unless you are married to a master manipulator.