Come tell me why you hate your MIL

[05heel]

Mine adores me, but treats my husband like shit.  It's so bizarre and wrong; therefore, I hate her. 

[wambam]

How about my FIL?

PDQ

*poof*

[05heel]

wambam, FIL too.

And wtf? So he actually opened his mouth and spread his little theory around? Damn.

[TR]

wambam - I thought you didn’t go to Thanksgiving bc you couldn’t bring your dog.

[wambam]

Dec 19, 2017 14:01:19 GMT -5 TR said:

wambam - I thought you didn’t go to Thanksgiving bc you couldn’t bring your dog.

We were going to work it so that my H and I would drive separately and I would come home the same day (which would've be an ass ton of driving but I was going to do it). *poof*

[pantsparty]

I've never met my MIL. She wasn't invited to our wedding. My H and his siblings had horrific childhoods. She was married 7 (or 8, I can't remember) times and moved them all over the place for her own selfish reasons. They were on their own for all of their own needs (food, clothes) at young ages. H has tried reconnecting out of guilt a couple of times but she's delusional about the past and refuses to be accountable. His dad has passed so it really sucks he doesn't have one good parent in his life. Breaks my heart.

[eddy]

I don't hate her. She just annoys the fuck out of me. In fact I would love to have a relationship with her especially after my mom died. But then i spend 20 minutes with her and I am like noooppee.

She is a tragedy whore. Everything is dramatic and she loves to latch onto other people's misfortune. She loves other people's misery. It is gross.

Just she has no grit about her. One slight misfortune and she has to take to her fainting couch for a month.

She is 70 years old and acts like she is 102.

She looks at the negative side of everything.

That all felt very good lol.

On the positive she is very kind to me. She does actually love me and has never been mean. She is kind to her son. She is a good person. I wish I could like her.

[wambam]

Dec 19, 2017 14:01:13 GMT -5 05heel said:

wambam , FIL too.

And wtf? So he actually opened his mouth and spread his little theory around? Damn.

Yep. And my BIL agreed. 

[blondemoment123]

There’s a ton of backstory and weird family drama but here’s one example.

H and I had just started dating. This crazy bitch cornered me with her wheel chair in Shoneys and told me how much H loves me and I better not ever leave.

Why did I marry into the crazy family anyway??

[smock]

My MIL always tries to finish my sentence. Like, EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

I hate talking to her.

[oliviapope]

Dec 19, 2017 14:03:11 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

I've never met my MIL. She wasn't invited to our wedding. My H and his siblings had horrific childhoods. She was married 7 (or 8, I can't remember) times and moved them all over the place for her own selfish reasons. They were on their own for all of their own needs (food, clothes) at young ages. H has tried reconnecting out of guilt a couple of times but she's delusional about the past and refuses to be accountable. His dad has passed so it really sucks he doesn't have one good parent in his life. Breaks my heart.

This is similar to my own upbringing. My mom sucks, my MIL is amazing.

[kath16]

Dec 19, 2017 14:09:31 GMT -5 smock said:

My MIL always tries to finish my sentence. Like, EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

I hate talking to her.

SAME WHAT ON EARTH ARE THEY DOING JUST LET ME FINISH THE SENTENCE.

She either tries to finish it or just starts jumping in with a tangentially related story.

"Kid is learning sign language at school and.."

AND HE LOVES IT

"....and he can count to 10..."

I WISH I LEARNED SPANISH IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

"...and spell his name."

ETA: my MIL is genuinely a kind and generous person. But we have nothing in common, and she does get on my nerves.

[georgeglass]

Dec 19, 2017 14:09:31 GMT -5 smock said:

My MIL always tries to finish my sentence. Like, EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

I hate talking to her.

My cousin used to do that. I started just stopping mid-sentence and letting her go on. Truthfully, I'm not sure she ever noticed.

[cleo29]

Dec 19, 2017 14:09:31 GMT -5 smock said:

My MIL always tries to finish my sentence. Like, EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

I hate talking to her.

Tell her you're not playing The $10,000 Pyramid, let you speak!

Back to the OP. I don't hate my MIL but it is annoying that she can be very passive aggressive but you cannot confront on anything without her shutting down. There is no real dialogue or resolution and it is beyond frustrating. Also, the fact that she clearly favors her grandsons annoys me to no end.

[Deleted]

So I have been working on a book about this very subject

Chapter 1: The first meeting, She tells me to not marry her son because all the men in their family are selfish ( this is actually not untrue though) later that night my future Father In Law looks me in my face and says he hates Italians knowing full well I am one.

Chapter 2 Rearranging the chairs at my bridal shower she didn't plan.

Chapter 3- 4 million throwing fits about every little thing and crying and being manipulative

Gahhh I could go on and on and on. She actually scored 1 million brownie points with me when she DIDN'T vote for Trump. I mean that is when I realized she pisses me right the FUCK off but isn't evil.... so. .....

[calamity]

MIL is nice to me too, but treats H like crap.

She is sooooooo dramatic and everyone everywhere is either a 1) sociopath 2) narcissist or 3) needs to see a therapist.

But she herself, is perfect. But of course!

[glitzy07]

When my son was 13mo old, MIL watched him for a few hours so H and I could go to a concert. When we came home from the concert at 12am, she had my son awake on the couch "because he was so beautiful I just kept going into his room to look at him and he woke up!" and she was drunk. Plus she tried to hide it. She had two beer cans on the counter, but had tried to hide several others in the garage trash so we wouldn't see them, but H found them that night after she told us she was going to stay the night because it was late and she was tired.

H decided then and there that she would not be watching our kids again. I was not aware of the extent to which she was drunk until the next morning, since I had taken C to put him back to bed as soon as we got home. He purposely didn't tell me that night because he knew I would have flipped my shit on her.

When his mom found out exactly why we weren't asking her to babysit, she freaked the F out and went off on H about how I have been an awful daughter-in-law, how I'm a terrible mother to my step-son, how I so clearly love "my" kids more than my step-son, how I have changed my H for the worse, etc etc etc.

She now sees her grandchildren at their birthday parties and major holidays, if she chooses to come. We pretend to be civil with each other, all while she makes snarky comments behind my back.

It's great. But I also am sick of giving a fuck, so...

[laurack]

She’s overall great but she can get really paranoid. This weekend I was OOT and she sent group text to my husband and I Sunday morning saying “how are you feeling today” (he had a cold) he didn’t answer and she started sending all these texts about how “the messages aren’t delivering !!! What is wrong!” So I replied and said “swimming on Sunday mornings, no signal at the Y” and that should be that but instead she sent a bunch more texts to the group then to me (I kept telling her, no signal at the Y) and she even left me a voicemail all because my H had a cold and she was worried something had happened. She told me she was worried that he was taking care of the kids “all alone” with a cold because I’d gone away for the weekend. ??!! It’s a damn cold.

She was even on the phone to Apple support about the “phone issue”

He said the next door neighbor even came over later to check on him 😢

[knx9211]

She salts the food I made before she even tastes it. I AM A GOOD COOK, DAMMIT.

[iamgrace]

I don't hate her but she does annoy me to no end. She looks for every tiny thing she can criticize me about and then jumps on it. And doesn't really notice good things. And says bizarre things- for example, we live on 4 acres of semi wooded land, but have about 2 acres that's wide open. We cut down a few trees and she went on and on to the kids about how much room they'll have to play now! Like we were somehow not providing ample space before. H and I just let it go because wtf. She's just looking to make me feel bad.

[ssmjlm]

She's just a selfish person and has always treated DH as less than his brother, which is untrue (seriously, BIL is a piece of work).

She dotes on her husband's daughter's kids (MIL and FIL are divorced), but treats all the other grandkids like crap. Like will come to our house when we host thanksgiving and then spend the day talking about hosting her step-daughter and her kids the next day. Like what?

BIL spread some nasty rumors about me to her and instead of asking DH about them, just believed BIL and in turn, did a pretty good job of being a total cunt the weekend of our wedding (including somewhat before and after).

She has a host of medical issues, but won't do anything to help herself. Like eat better or take a walk each day.

She's never held a full time job in her life. She worked briefly between leaving FIL and getting remarried, but that didn't last more than a few years. She cannot comprehend the idea of a successful woman and I think that's what separates us the most. Her other DIL is a cunt as well, so you would think she would be happy that at least one son married a nice girl, but nope, we're the black sheep of the family. I mean my BIL could have an entire episode of Maury Povich's "are you the father?" but she loves him the most.

DH is the one who really suffers. He used to be less cognizant of it, but once we had a kid, it basically hit him like a mack truck. She lives locally and it was pretty clear when she couldn't come see her new grandbaby at all the 2 weeks DH took off after she was born.

[knx9211]

I love my ILs a lot. They're SUPER CHATTY though. I like my quiet time. They also have a very difficult time controlling the volume of their voices. And my MIL has a really high-pitched almost childlike speaking voice. Maybe it's because she's an elementary teacher WHO KNOWS.

So really I don't have a lot to complain about, but I like to complain so HERE IT IS.

[cleo29]

Dec 19, 2017 14:25:35 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

I don't hate her but she does annoy me to no end. She looks for every tiny thing she can criticize me about and then jumps on it. And doesn't really notice good things. And says bizarre things- for example, we live on 4 acres of semi wooded land, but have about 2 acres that's wide open. We cut down a few trees and she went on and on to the kids about how much room they'll have to play low! Like we were somehow not providing ample space before. H and I just let it go because wtf. She's just looking to make me feel bad.

It is tempting to say to her,  "I just want the kids to soak up this time with you because who knows how much longer you have left!"

( i would not be this mean in real life, but sometimes people make it very tempting)

[jlt19]

She's a perpetual victim. FIL left 20 years ago and she's still "woe is me" about it. Didn't work after he left and he gave her a LOT in alimony (more than he was legally obligated to). Had she gotten a job and sold the 3,000+ sq ft house with a pool she would now be set for life at 67. She did not. She was forced to sell 2 years ago and now lives off younger SIL and BIL and I fear is going to ruin their marriage (which is much stronger than mine or older SIL's b/c me and that BIL have already said she ain't moving in with us or we're out). She finally works, but for minimum wage I assume. And this is ALLLLL FIL's fault. Still.

She's also one of those FB grandparents that looooooves them so much but has seen them exactly once since last Christmas even though she lives 1.5 hours away. And yes, we could make an effort too, but she's only worked full time for the past 2 or so months, so it's not like her new job has been what's keeping her away.

she also treated DH like shit his whole life since he's the middle child and a bit ADHD and the girls are so perfect.

I've got more, but I'll stop, lol.

[themysteriouswife]

I have a million reasons, but I'll post about the most recent.

MIL came over for breakfast a few weeks ago. I made drop biscuits, scrambled eggs, roasted potatoes, chicken sausage with onion and Bell peppers. All of it was prepared with little amounts of added fats possible. H had major dietary restrictions. She bitched the entire time.

No less than 5 times she has told H she is coming over on the 23rd and staying the night. She is going to get up on Christmas Eve and make breakfast. HER fried potatoes. HER drop biscuits. Fried eggs. REAL sausages. HER tomato gravy. And she puts huge emphasis on her and fried. She forgets we have Bluetooth in the car and I can hear her taking.

She's never liked my cooking. Hell she's never liked me. I told H he better fix this now. His Christmas will be hell if I have to deal with this. And his sister is coming in town. He's going to have three bitching women coming at him if he doesn't start stepping in. It never fails SIL and MIL get into it while they are together.

[bex]

I don't hate her, but I just....don't really want to be close to her. It helps that she lives a few hours away.

She voted for Trump.

When H's cousin came out as transgender she didn't talk to the cousin or H's aunt (her sister) for a month, even though they usually talk several times a day.

She's kind of the epitome of the "nice" white woman who is very nice and lovely.....to people who are like her. So its hard sometimes to talk to her when she is being very nice and I know how she thinks of people who are different from her.

[circa1978]

Dec 19, 2017 14:27:50 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

I love my ILs a lot. They're SUPER CHATTY though. I like my quiet time. They also have a very difficult time controlling the volume of their voices. And my MIL has a really high-pitched almost childlike speaking voice. Maybe it's because she's an elementary teacher WHO KNOWS.

So really I don't have a lot to complain about, but I like to complain so HERE IT IS.

OMG, exactly that. My MIL never stops talking. Also, she recently bought me these shoes:

[rosiebear]

I don’t hate her, but she can be a ridiculous control freak. Her youngest child is 50 years old and all of her kids are completely functional adults, but she acts like they are idiots.

There are tons of things to like about her, but that’s not what you asked for, lol. A thing she does that HIGHLY annoys me is pretend she doesn’t understand divorce or shared custody.

“Where are the kids?” she’ll ask every other holiday, knowing that if we had the kids on that holiday, our asses would be at home with them, not roasting in her overheated house.

“They’re at their Dad’s,” I say, every goddamn time. (One of these times I going to say they’re in the trunk of my car).

“Oh!” she says, feigning surprise and sorrow. “I could never spend Christmas (or whichever holiday it is) without my children!”

Sigh.

[lilac05]

I don't hate my MIL, but I wish we had a better relationship. No matter what I do, she doesn't seem to like me. Growing up, my grandparents were all friends, despite living 700 miles apart. Both sets of grandparents treated my parents as equals...to the point that when I was little, I could never remember which grandparents went with which parents. I wanted that. I wanted to be the daughter that joined the family at 20 instead of at birth.

Thankfully, brother's MIL claims me, H, and kids as a part of their family.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2017 14:24:27 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

She salts the food I made before she even tastes it. I AM A GOOD COOK, DAMMIT.

Mine always wants to add bovril to my cooking. Every fucking time they come over, "oh, do you have any bovril??"

One time she brought a bottle with her to my house. The look I gave my h...