I've always adored my MIL, but recently she got a dog that Freddie and I are both allergic to after I told her not to, and we stopped going to her house. I don't hate her, but I'm still salty enough that I told her I was too busy to get pedicures this week, even though we'd go to a nice place and she'd pay. LOL
Post by Champagne Supernova on Dec 19, 2017 18:19:35 GMT -5
I love my MIL but she can be so hard on herself and she doesn't have a backbone to stand up to my stupid ass FIL. It pisses me off whenever I see it. One of these days, I'm just gonna speak up and be all "He's a dumbass and you're the one who has sense!"
She salts the food I made before she even tastes it. I AM A GOOD COOK, DAMMIT.
Mine won’t eat Salmon that I prepare - SERIOUSLY, ANY SALMON even with delicate and lovely ingredients... because FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO she tried some salmon and didn’t like it.
These stories! Omg. Where do women like this come from? Is there something about having boys that makes women go crazy, or were they always this way? I know this isn’t a real question because there are toxic mothers of daughters too, but damn!
I just hope everyone’s kids pick up on this eventually. My grandmother was a terrible MIL to my mom, and none of us (me, my mom, and my siblings) shed a single tear at her funeral. People noticed too, and it was grand.
MH says I'm destined to be as crazy as both of our moms. He also says I already have adopted some of their behaviors. Anyway I'll probably still be trolling the internet in 30 years so I'll let everyone know if I'm a batshit crazy MIL.
So here's a funny story and a reason I don't hate my MIL.
It's just amusing. She loves squirrels and has all this birdseed in her giant backyard. It's like a fat lazy squirrel nature preserve. She fucking loves squirrels, okay?
She called me a few years ago and told me she saw a poor squirrel dead in the street so SHE GOT OUT OF HER CAR AND MOVED IT TO SOMEONE'S YARD...
AND THEN SHE SAYS, "I DID THAT SO MAYBE THEY WOULD BURY IT."
I still cry laughing thinking about how damn serious she was about that. She's fucking insane.
Post by firedancer10288 on Dec 19, 2017 18:43:20 GMT -5
Besides the fact that she ALWAYS hides nuts in the salad for holiday dinners, even though she knows I'm allergic?
She got her panties in a bunch last year because step-MIL was involved in planning a baby shower for my SIL. She refused to attend the shower. She stopped speaking to both her sons and wouldn't meet the baby. Then at a another family gathering SIL tried to be the bigger person and take baby over to meet his grandma, and SHE TURNED HER BACK ON BOTH OF THEM. crazy bitch. She also completely ignored DD at this same family function- the 10 year old who plenty old enough to internalize that grandma is "mad at her."
Post by lilafowler on Dec 19, 2017 19:05:14 GMT -5
OK. I’ve been married to her son for 11 years, been with him for 15 and she STILL refuses to pronounce my name correctly. My name has three syllables. She only says the first 2 syllables.
THAT IS NOT MY FUCKING NAME. THAT IS NOT EVEN A NICKNAME FOR MY NAME. Sometimes my bil will go “Mom! It’s LA DI DA
Bitch either deliberately chooses not to or she just doesn’t care.
OK. I’ve been married to her son for 11 years, been with him for 15 and she STILL refuses to pronounce my name correctly. My name has three syllables (PDQ it’s Dirty Pirate Whore). She only says the first 2 syllables (Dirty Pirate).
THAT IS NOT MY FUCKING NAME. THAT IS NOT EVEN A NICKNAME FOR MY NAME. Sometimes my bil will go “Mom! It’s DirtynPirate Whore l!” ] Bitch either deliberately chooses not to or she just doesn’t care.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Dec 19, 2017 19:22:55 GMT -5
I don't hate her, I just prefer her in small doses. She's passive-aggressive, gives unsolicited advice, can be smothering, has all of these ideas of what it is to be a grandma and gets all passive-aggressive and annoying when things don't go her way, talks a lot about how she did things when H and SIL were little in a judge-y sort of way, like I really give a shit. They're very liberal, but old school in a boomer sort of way. She still lives in the past and makes comments about how she wishes H didn't drop out of his engineering program because "imagine where you'd be today" and she had a certain image in mind for a DIL, which I certainly am not.
I have my way of doing things that she's not a fan of. I'm breezy about a lot of things that she doesn't get or understand, but so was my mother. (we are from different cultures/backgrounds, which is huge in many ways) She also felt a certain way about my decision to breastfeed for more than a few months because it meant I was "hogging" dd3. It seemed like she wished she had more input or could be in a position to offer it if I were a FTM, like her mother and MIL did with her. She's just stuck in her head and things being a certain way. She's also "on" a lot and talks too much. I'm introverted. I don't do "on" people on the regular.
She doesn't season food. She can't cook. See, I can cook, I just don't usually like to, 'cause I'm lazy. Their TG meal was boring as shit and even dd1 says so and didn't eat most of their sad, unseasoned turkey and mashed potatoes.
She acts all woke (typical UMC white feminist) with her safety pin nonsense, but legit accepted my father's friend request (who is a right-wing religious fundamentalist who voted for orange gremlin) and still associates and complains about their pro-45 friends. She's the "nice" and "well-meaning" teacher that didn't like teaching much at her school because it was a "problem school." We all know what that means.
Post by irene adler on Dec 19, 2017 19:34:04 GMT -5
My MIl is truly the most kind wonderful person, but she is also SO EXTRA when it comes to gifts (and gift giving makes me really uncomfortable.). Leslie Knope extra.
She does throw the most elaborate, Pinterest parties for everything, from baby showers to pre-trick or treating. They are amazing, but NOT EVERYTHING REQUIRES A GIFT.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Dec 19, 2017 19:40:14 GMT -5
I don’t hate mine but she can be annoying/overhearing.
For our wedding, like 3 weeks before, when I was stressed, she just showed up to one of our vendor meetings at the venue. Uninvited. Ok, whatever. Weird but whatever. But then every time someone asked me a wedding question, she would answer for me. And most of the time the answer wasn’t even correct. Or if she let me answer, she would ask “why would you do it that way?” It was so weird and passive aggressive.
Also because I am not white, I find it so weird when she comes at me like that. If my mom has a problem with H, she will tell me, not him. It’s a brown thing. So I made H shut that down and tell her that it can no longer happen. She’s been good ever since.
Post by Dumbledork on Dec 19, 2017 19:49:51 GMT -5
She’s a crazy, hateful piece of shit that we cut out of our lives a few years ago.
Seriously, she believes the government has her name on a list and a literal bullet for Christians such as her, that see our government for what it is- Satanic, and who they are afraid will try to overthrow the government.
She’s asked us if we have access, as a military family, to untraceable firearms and, if so, could we supply her and her church?
She’s offered us thousands of dollars in the hopes that we would get out of the military, which she believes used to be honorable, but now that it allows Muslims and gays, it’s clearly a tool of Satan which will ultimate be used against Christians in the country.
One Easter, she sent us a Bible and a handwritten note telling us, quite plainly, that we we were abandoning our daughter in heaven and going to hell and we are terrible, unloving parents because of it. She ended it with something like “this may upset you, but I’m just the messenger.”
The first time I met her, she demanded she drive me home alone, and then told me her son was an idiot (she meant it) but he still deserved better than some temptress that killed babies. DH once argued with her til he was red in the face that I’d never had an abortion and she said that I clearly had brainwashed him.
She literally gave DH hangers and socks for Christmas growing up.
She forbade his family from coming to our wedding or refused to give us addresses for those that lived out of town. As a result only five people from DHs side attended.
A lot of his family were cut off from him since he was a kid because she was concerned they would tell him he was adopted.
I have so much shit I can spill on her. She’s an awful, awful person. I don’t miss her in our lives at all.
Oh, she also got shit faced drunk at our relatively fancy wedding. Told one of my bridesmaids that she reminded her of a “skinny version of my daughter” then proceeded to rub my friends face. She couldn’t even attempt to keep it together for the only time she met my extended family. She then had to be helped out of the venue because she couldn’t do it of her own accord.
She’s a crazy, hateful piece of shit that we cut out of our lives a few years ago.
.
Damn. My H's whole side of his family is horrible and it is better for him they aren't in his life very often but it still makes he sad for him.
My H also got hangers,socks AND underwear for his birthday,lol.
Most of the rest of his family is pretty great, thankfully. He’s just not really close to any of them because she isolated him from the family for so long.
But she’s an actual deplorable and neither of us miss her. He was glad when he found out he actually was adopted.
MIL wore the exact same dress my mom wore to our wedding and this after sending her and my soon-to-be SILs a picture/link of my mom's dress so to ENSURE they would NOT be twinsies at the wedding. The joke was on her because my photographer kept referring to her as the grandmother of the bride.
Also, she swans into the rehearsal with SILs 30 minutes prior to the start and I was scrambling to get all the decor, etc., set up since half of my bridal party didn't bother to show up until right before. She didn't offer to help (nor did SILs, like mother like daughter indeed) and she had the fucking nerve to call up DH to whine that I was IGNORING her. I hugged her, said "hello," but clearly I was busy. Nevermind that when DH's older sister got married (less than six months after we had started dating so I barely know his family), she hands me a broom at the end of the night, indicating I should get to work. Six weeks after our wedding, DH's youngest sister got married and I pitched in with everything, without having to be asked, including doing all of the flowers (staying up until 4 in the morning) so MIL and SIL could get some rest.
She gossips constantly about everyone, everywhere, constantly making judgments, yet calls herself a Christian. Judge not lest ye be judged indeed.
She's always threatening to spank or whip SILs' children and laughs when they cry, thinking it's so hilarious. It's not funny now and it certainly wasn't funny when she and FIL didn't spare the rod lest they spoil the child, DH most of all.
She is such a goddamn downer. For the last three or four years, all we hear is how this will probably be "her last Christmas." Speaking of, she thinks she OWNS every holiday and threw the biggest fit when DH and I spent our first Christmas Eve and Christmas morning as a married couple at home. My mom missed us, of course, but thought it was really sweet that we did that and understood and was a GROWN UP. MIL would barely speak to us (most of the ice was directed at me because OF COURSE, I was the horrible woman keeping her baby from bowing and scraping). This woman acts like being passive aggressive is her job.
Of course if you ask DH, my mother is the difficult MIL and she can be trying at times but his mother is in a class all by herself.
Post by heliocentric on Dec 19, 2017 20:59:28 GMT -5
DH & I have been together for 16+ years and I have only met his parents twice. DH and his sisters had a strained relationship with MIL for years, but DH finally cut her off before we got married. She is just not a nice person. None of her 3 kids speak to her (or their father because she pitted him against them). They have never met any of their grandchildren. So I hate that she is not the kind of mother DH & his sisters deserve.
Post by bigoleworm on Dec 19, 2017 21:13:03 GMT -5
Where do I begin? I should say I don't hate her, I just resent that she clearly favors her other child over my dh, whom I think is a kind and generous person (even though I try to give him to my friend on a daily basis) I grew up in a family where my four grandparents were best friends. They vacationed without my parents and us kids. When my grandfathers passed away within a year of each other, my grandmothers moved in together to help one another out. They lived together for over 20 years. My cousin on my mom's side thought she had three sets of grandparents, our mutual grandparents, her mom's parents, and my dad's parents. I never expected to not have the same relationship. She favors her other grandchildren over my kids. She will cancel on plans with my children to do things with her other grandchildren. When she is with my children, she is constantly comparing them to her other grandchildren. We haven't seen her since May. She makes literally no effort to have a relationship with our children. We could also make more of an effort, but dh won't bother anymore because she makes no effort with us.
In the next two weeks, she’ll be my ex-MIL, but...
She convinced me to ask my parents for $20K to help pay for STBXH’s attorney. Which they gave me, because my parents are saints.
She told me that if I left STBXH, he would probably kill himself.
She has told multiple people, including MY PARENTS, that I’m the reason my marriage broke up. Never mind that HE is the one that was sleeping with other women and that HE was the one that was chatting with underage girls online and is now a registered sex offender. But sure, lady, blame me.
I love my ILs a lot. They're SUPER CHATTY though. I like my quiet time. They also have a very difficult time controlling the volume of their voices. And my MIL has a really high-pitched almost childlike speaking voice. Maybe it's because she's an elementary teacher WHO KNOWS.
So really I don't have a lot to complain about, but I like to complain so HERE IT IS.
Post by mrsjuleshs on Dec 19, 2017 21:33:20 GMT -5
I had a great relationship with my in laws till my ex up and took off. We'd been together almost 12 years, married over 10. Since then, they have completely ignored me and DD and she took it super hard as she was their granddaughter (step cause ex wasn't her dad but that "didn't matter to them") and they doted on her for 12 years. I still talk to a few of the cousins but absolute silence from the 2 people who swore they loved her as their own.
So many of these stories resonate with my reasoning. None really hit it on the head though - I think it’s hard to put in words. Giving it some thought, I’m narrowing it down to the fact that they chose a very different life than me and I don’t respect the lifestyle they, especially my MIL, chose and what she ‘stands’ for as far as spouses and life are concerned. They also just never welcomed any of their daughter in laws into the family. I imagined a mom of all boys would welcome daughters with open arms and be so grateful to have women in her life. Instead it’s been the exact opposite. I’ve always felt like an outsider and the worst part is that their ‘inside’ is all fake. Their sons don’t want to share anything with them as they grasp on any piece of information and tout their ‘influence’ to explain why decisions/thoughts are wrong or in general offer awful advice. What has been created is their kids rarely talking to them and dreading it, them not really knowing their kids. Though, I believe they would not really understand their kids if they shared too much so I guess it is for the better. My husband says they have a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ relationship. It’s sad to me, but they have facilitated it. I can’t stand to see him so fake around them. This is very hard for my relationship with my inlaws. The few times in our marriage my husband has said how he/we feel about something they have done he has been told that he is wrong over and over again.
They have done some incredibly hurtful things to me and my husband (by hurting me) and seem clueless about it even when we have both told them. I have done my best for the last 18 years to keep the peace but this year they took it to a new level and I’ve decided not to have any more interaction with them than necessary. They are seemingly unphased by this so I guess maybe that proves my issues?